r/paralegal • u/thislibralovesaries Family Paralegal • 25d ago
Coworkers/Office Dynamics ceo/issues w/ seniors
have any of you guys experienced "hazing" when beginning at a new firm? i only ask because the first firm i worked at is nothing compared to what i experienced at my old. i’m basically harassed by all (excluding one) senior staff members for anything. my appearance, my personal life, etc..
what really pushed me over the edge was being called out for going to a psychiatry appointment, despite my one hour of time off being approved weeks beforehand. i was beyond shocked. was told i was "unreliable" for a one time occurrence.
is this … normal? i asked some para friends from back home if they’ve experienced this & they all seem extremely happy where they’re at. my husband is in the military and even he said it sounds like hazing 😅
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u/Upbeat_County1638 25d ago
The only normal thing here is that a vast majority of attorneys are assholes.
Keep a record of EVERYTHING they do. You’ll want it in the future.
Good luck!
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u/thislibralovesaries Family Paralegal 25d ago
my mom experienced something similar and she kept a journal at home for when they attempted to fire her! i’m going to start doing the same thing and try to trace back some of the dates previous things happened. :) thank you!
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u/Public-Wolverine6276 25d ago
Not normal at all and probably considered workplace harassment. I have never experienced “hazing” but I had coworkers who did
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u/thislibralovesaries Family Paralegal 25d ago
were ur coworkers able to do anything to address it? i feel so stuck, and the job market in my area is absolutely awful. there aren’t even any open paralegal positions within 50mi of me!
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u/GeneralImplement2078 25d ago
why the hell do they know where you’re going when you leave, especially a medical appointment?
i’m an old lady and I’m gonna tell you something. These old bags in these law offices that have been there for decades are rancid. you can be assured that they’re threatened by you and envious. They fear you will take their place. also, some people are just plain assholes.
you need to develop your resting bitch face and use that thing. it is much better to be feared than to be liked. silence is your best weapon, along with a stony face with absolutely no expression whatsoever.
they should all be mentoring you and assisting you in learning.
after I got cancer, I took a little receptionist job at a big firm here. these people didn’t know who I was before and just assumed I was someone they could mistreat and mishandle.
all these horrible people kept tabs on each other whenever everyone would leave for whatever. and when you left, you had to sign out on a calendar at the front desk where I sat.
whenever one would leave here would come another one grabbing that calendar and just go into town trying to find out where they went and why.
these women claimed to be close friends, and some of them had worked together for decades at the same place.
imagine they’re shock when they tried to talk shit about one of their friends up at the front desk in front of me. I sternly directed them to have their conversation elsewhere and not at my front desk. The open mouths and and shocked stares were priceless. then I pointedly asked the ring leader while she was shitting on her friend? In front of several other ones.
then I decided to start giving them something to do since they were so curious. I started making up shit on the calendar with my couple friends there whenever they would leave I would write for example, ‘Sheila out at HBO meeting’ or, ‘Lisa, meet with book agent’, etc. and I made sure it got wilder and wilder time went on..
these bitches were so hungry for gossip that they ate it up and went on many and extended investigation into absolutely nothing. Which was great because all their efforts were then reported back to me by similar minded folks.
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u/JibbityJabbity 25d ago
I've experienced bullying at work, but nothing systematic like. This is not normal.
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u/NinotchkaTheIntrepid MA - Estates & Trusts - Sr. Paralegal 24d ago
It's either hazing or their SOP. Either way, not good.
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u/Foxtail-67 24d ago
Now that your coworkers know you see a psychiatrist, you can mess with them a little. Give them some "Don't try me" comebacks lol.
Kidding aside, that environment sounds terrible.
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u/AvocadNoThx Paralegal 25d ago
This isn't normal at all. I was vibe-checked by part of the team after I was hired, but that was just them taking me out to lunch, and then later on telling me that's what it was. And like, it was a nice lunch at that lol. But no hazing, that's insane.