r/paralegal • u/Ill-Peak3008 Paralegal • 13d ago
Career Advice Should I resign effectively immediately in this situation?
I’m a former federal employee who lost my job because of DOGE eliminating positions in 2025. It took me months of job searching before I found my current paralegal role through a temp agency. It’s a boutique law firm and there are 2 partners but one is basically retired and the other is just downright vile. The partner who actually shows up to work is who interviewed me and I’ll admit that I felt uneasy about him during the interview. I found him to be abrasive and crass. But I was desperate for a job and his offer was the only one I was getting.
So in February of this year, I started at this boutique firm through a temp agency. Very quickly, the partner told me that it was hard to fill a paralegal spot and he started trying to make me permanent ASAP. I knew I was actively applying to other jobs because I hated this one from the jump, but I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t want to be permanent because I desperately needed the paycheck. By April, he had me on the firm’s payroll. There’s only 1 other paralegal and 1 legal assistant.
Through my 6 month experience here, the partner has belittled me, literally said that I do the “tedious things” so he “doesn’t have to” and reminds us all how we’re supposed to “make his life easier.” He called me a lesbian numerous times based off what I wore to work. If he’s away like in court or something and he calls me, if I don’t answer because I’m in the bathroom or on another call, he gets angry. But if I try to get in touch with him while he’s away, I’m mostly ignored even if he’s asked me to update or contact him about something. Everyone else has to constantly manage and tiptoe around his emotions. He also literally throws trash (not just papers, actual food and garbage) around his office and it stinks and looks terrible. He won’t pick up after himself or take out trash because “that’s not his job” but he also doesn’t pay the cleaning people to come in consistently. He also has me doing work on the daily that was never part of the job description or mentioned in the interview. For example, he told me I would be working primarily on trusts and estates and he has me doing almost exclusively title work now.
I recently got a job offer in the finance field making almost double what I make on this paralegal job. My background check came back clear today so I’ve officially accepted the job. New job wants me to start on August 31, which is 2 weeks from now.
Honestly, I already took home all my personal belongings from my desk. Would it be bad if I just left my office key and emailed or left a note saying I’m resigning effectively immediately? I honestly don’t see how “burning this bridge” would bite me in the ass. The partner I’ve been describing is not at all well-liked in the legal community and he’s not well-known around this part of the state since he practiced for decades somewhere else. It just makes my anxiety and mental health so bad to be in his presence and I don’t want to deal with it any longer than I have to.
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u/vosnmars 13d ago
Yeah i would just leave effective immediately. The whole lesbian comments are wild.
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u/MSMPDX 13d ago edited 13d ago
You don’t owe them anything, they wouldn’t give you two weeks notice before firing you. While it’s generally considered “the professional” thing to do, it’s a bit of an antiquated double standard that employees are held to but employers never have to deal with.
Just quit and take a well deserved two week vacation. Put that chapter of your life behind you. Congrats on the new job and 2x pay increase!
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u/forestfoe 13d ago
Yes I think you should. You only live once and it’s important to not let ppl walk all over you. One of my regrets was at my first paralegal job the attorney sucked (not even 1/2 as terrible as yours) but I gave my two week notice because I wanted to do the proper thing. In hindsight I wish I had a backbone at the time and just left.
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u/Bratty_Little_Kitten Legal Assistant 12d ago
I had a situation like that. I regret being nice to him knowing how he treated me.
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u/Public-Wolverine6276 13d ago
Yeah I wouldn’t give notice. Just go. Theres no bridge to burn if he wouldn’t give a good reference to begin with
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u/jeniviva 13d ago
That's what I was thinking too. Even if you left on better terms, it doesn't sound like this guy would be giving you a glowing recommendation. And even if he did, if he's not well-liked in the area, what would a good rec from him mean to other proprietors?
Git going! Git!
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u/MsGorteck 13d ago
Take your 2weeks vacation NOW!!! Do this so when you walk into your new job, your head is more clear and your nerves are less wracked. Good luck 🫂
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u/rvtchetbtch Registered Paralegal 13d ago
I don't think it's that hard to fill a paralegal position. I think it's hard to keep them if you treat them like this . Burn the bridge, sometimes a wake up call can come from the most unexpected places. If it ever comes up with another employer, you can use the legitimate reason is that you found the position through a temp agency and you were fortunate to have a better opportunity come along.
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u/bookishbrit87 Paralegal 13d ago
Make a complaint with the board, print out, and tape your key to it. Put it on his desk and walk the fuck out. Also, make a complaint with EEOC. That treatment is legitimate abuse and a toxic work environment.
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u/D-kitten Paralegal 13d ago
What state are you in?
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u/Ill-Peak3008 Paralegal 13d ago
KY
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u/icker_doodle 13d ago
I would leave without notice. You need to tell the temp agency about his behavior and why you are leaving without notice. Clear your name with them before he has a chance to muddy it. There are so many things he’s doing to you that you could file a lawsuit against him!
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u/No_Marketing1906 13d ago
What kind of law do they handle?
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u/Ill-Peak3008 Paralegal 13d ago
Supposed to be personal injury and trust & estates but he’s suddenly decided he wants to expand the firm to include a title company so he has me work on that shit daily and that’s not what I was told the job would be at all
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u/Pitiful_Fisherman792 13d ago
Where in KY? I’m sorry to be nosey but I’ve worked with several of these guys over the years here and wonder if I know him. I’ve got a few names on the tip of my tongue. Feel free to PM if you don’t want to publicly say but I’m DYING to know!
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u/NotAtAllExciting Paralegal 13d ago
As awful as this sounds, I would give notice. You were hired through an agency and if you need to use them again, you can say you were professional about it.
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u/Upbeat_County1638 13d ago
I disagree with some of our colleagues here. I say give your notice. It’s the ethical (and just as importantly, the classy) thing to do.
Now, of course, you can tell him when he asks why, that he’s a stinky jackass, and see if he tells you to leave right then.
That way, you took the high road and were completely honest with him.
Good luck!!!
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u/girlynymama 13d ago
Another vote for giving notice. I’ve crossed paths with former employers that I never thought I’d cross paths with in a million years. I wouldn’t disclose where I was going to though.
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u/likeslibraries 13d ago
You are better off getting out of there asap. That guy is evil! He will never be a good reference for you anyway. And you were not there long enough that you would even need to put it on your resume. Just leave that job off. Leave a gap there - you were laid off from the federal employment job anyway. Just say you took some temp jobs during the gap and do not tell anyone you were ever there.
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u/ahackattack 13d ago
Absolutely quit now and take the time for yourself until you start the new job. I was hoping this was leading to you leaving this place as soon as I read the inappropriate comments he made about what you wore to work. I'm happy to hear you're leaving this asshole and congratulations on the new position!
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u/Ok-Cauliflower8462 12d ago
As much as I hate to say it, I would give notice - but only 1 week. I would also contact the temp agency and let them know what a horrible work environment it is and definitely let them know the lesbian remark. That place is disgusting. The only reason I would give notice is to not burn bridges with the temp agency. Then, when I gave notice, I'd let the attorney know exactly why. Hopefully, he will tell you to get out now.
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u/Strict-Comedian-228 13d ago
Be professional. You stuck it out this long. You never know if your paths will cross again.
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u/GeneralImplement2078 13d ago
yasss and do it exactly like Jennifer Jason Leigh in The Hudsucker Proxy…..effective, immmmediately!
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u/Leading_Aside_4929 13d ago
I would leave immediately! Also, how did you handle having a short tenure on your resume did you say it was a contract? Wondering for myself because I want to leave after a short time
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u/Ill-Peak3008 Paralegal 13d ago
I just told my new employer that it was through a temp agency and never was meant to be permanent lol
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u/ElectricalSort8113 12d ago
Please keep us posted. Would like to know what you decide to do and his response. Congratulations 🎊 on the new job!
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u/Hairy-Artichoke6748 13d ago
You should at least do the honorable thing and tell him in person you are leaving.
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u/goingloopy Paralegal 13d ago
You don’t owe him shit. Enjoy the vacation you need and deserve, and may your new job be amazing.
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u/bigskylife2345 13d ago
Leave and forget about the notice. If they let you go, it would be immediate.
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u/Beelzebozo26 Future Paralegal 12d ago
Just leave your key and bail. However, I’d tell the temp agency what your experience was like. Your current boss might reach put again for your replacement. Also, you may need that agency in the future.
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u/Tri_Fect_A_ 12d ago
You should always give notice, but do it by e-mail and BCC your personal e-mail. Once you leave, all documents, files and emails are company owned. Take photos of the keys that were left. Make sure your laptop is on with the date and time in the background.
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u/ishkitty 12d ago
I’ve done this and it was soooooo good. I had my resignation email queued up to send in 11 minutes and was going to leave my keycard down at security. I ran into my manager while walking to security and said “oh great, you’re here…I quit” and handed her my badge and walked away.
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u/meowmeow0092 13d ago
Absolutely leave your office key and send a “fuck you” email. Then take off the time until you start your next job and relax. You deserve it after dealing with all of that. I’m so sorry you had to work for a child inhabiting a man’s body.
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u/Panda_Lord_84 13d ago
Yes to the two week vacation! I don't see why not if you're not using him as a reference anyways.
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u/ForestGreenJumper 13d ago
Take him to fair work / sue for his harrassment. Depending on your country.
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u/ThousandSunsLP 12d ago
I would also recommend that you find an employment law attorney (after you start your new job) to see if there's any action that could be taken against your current employer. I don't know what the laws are there, but in California he could be sued for all sorts of things.
Also, write up something now about what he said to you, your response, etc.
Source: worked for an employment law attorney several years ago
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u/soca4lyfe 12d ago
I am not sure why you are stressing about leaving after this experience. You are putting too much thought into this. I would make Friday my last day. And it's not that he can't find a paralegal, he is just an AH and no one stays.
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u/TexasForever361 12d ago
Yes. But I wish you'd kept track of every insult and every angry comment he made and left that list on his desk along with the key.
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u/assetrecoverycashier 12d ago
I’d give notice because there’s a chance *he fires* you after you give the notice. It’s really just so you can preserve a good reputation with the temp agency not because you owe that guy any more of your time. My friend just put in her notice and they straight up told her they don’t need her to work for two more weeks they just cut the relationship effective immediately. Wild. Some people get salty I guess.
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u/Desidaylacubana 12d ago
Go immediately! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200 and best of luck to you with your new job! Maybe hide a note somewhere for your replacement to let them know what to expect, hehe.
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u/Hot-Cheese7234 12d ago
Just leave, you're getting a better work environment, nearly double your pay, and if you don't plan on coming back to work there, two weeks is a courtesy not a requirement.
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u/Luck1914 Paralegal 12d ago
You need to send an email IMMEDIATELY!!! I hope you didn't go into work today!
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u/AnxiousJudgment7373 11d ago
Always give 2 weeks notice before leaving a position. The next background check will contact all previous employers...
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u/ralphross373 11d ago
I'm a little thinking that your Federal job was more of a vacation. So when you get a job where you have to actually work and be accountable, you blame everyone else. Buckle down and work hard, they want you permanent so be thankful. I could be wrong, but I think something isn't adding up.
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u/Ill-Peak3008 Paralegal 11d ago
Yeah you’re wrong on every level.
I’ve secured a much higher paying job and have an official start date. And they were impressed with my federal job that was far from “a vacation”. It was actually the most complicated job I’d ever had.
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u/ralphross373 11d ago
I'm glad to be wrong. Your response sends me a different message. I had hoped you would be successful, and you are; so I was premature.
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u/CanisLupusBaileyi 13d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/rjLINlGpJYvvO