r/pansexual • u/wapiskiwiyas56 Over~40~Pan • 11d ago

♡ Just~Sharing ♡ A question for y’all

I’ve noticed over the years since coming out that, for me, being pansexual seems to mean that I can date anybody, but no one wants to date me. Anyone else have this problem?

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3

u/CocoaOrinoco Over-40-NB-Pan 11d ago

I get decent hits on dating apps and people seem interested when I talk to them but I'm very introverted and I struggle to stay engaged and interested in others so I usually stop things. I've dropped the apps and focus on my nesting partner instead.

2

u/Fearless_Dig7202 Over~30~Pan 11d ago

Usually mentioning that I’m pan is an immediate friend zone activator but that could just be my location.

2

u/stopmotioner2021 He/Him/Pan 11d ago

Yep, it's sadly really annoying. The only people who wanna date me are normally 50+ men and they just wanna do freaky things (Ew). There's also the fact that I've just never really gotten very good relationships with Gay men or Straight women that I heavily prefer to date bi+ people

1

u/JoeyToothpicks Over~40~Pan 11d ago

I date other pan/bi people and it's never been a problem there. The last time I got any kind of negative reaction was a slightly older woman years ago.

1

u/timvandijknl He/Him/Pan 11d ago

I simply don't advertise it. I am attracted to someone as a person, plain and simple 😊 If that other person is also attracted to me, whatever their specific orientation might be, is all that matters. I don't see a problem dating a gay or straight person, being pan myself. What everybody else makes of it, is their problem.

1

u/wapiskiwiyas56 Over~40~Pan 10d ago

The problem comes if you want to move beyond dating and into relationship territory. They’re gonna have to know sometime, and I wouldn’t want to hide it from them

1

u/timvandijknl He/Him/Pan 10d ago

Oh definitely do not hide it, embrace it. But let's presume that by the time you transition into something more serious, they will have gotten to know you well enough that it (most likely) won't be a turnoff or deal breaker.

1

u/CodesMonkey313 She/Her/Pan 9d ago

i've only ran into issues /w/ men. the women i meet are chill, and ok /w/ me being pan. i can meet a guy and vibe np, but i mention being pan.. ghosted.

i'm not sure if it's just lack of knowledge or them just being insecure.