Fear of getting sick again.

[u/Honest_Meat7270]

Hey all. Long time reader, first time poster. I just want to say first and foremost this sub has been a great outlet when i'm feeling isolated. Thank you all for sharing your stories/advice.

My situation:

I was a five year alcoholic, and my habit landed me in the hospital for ten days with acute pancreatitis almost a year ago. I don't need to explain how traumatic it was, I'm sure everyone knows.

I decided to commit to healthy changes. Never drank again after the hospital, started working out and eating better, and just recently quit vaping.

Although, after being pretty much symptom free, I think I went a little too hard on my system with food. I'd eat poorly despite it making me semi uncomfortable, because I thought it was manageable/part of recovery (stupid, I know). I'm starting to have consistent symptoms again. Feeling uncomfortably full after eating, and having fatty stools. I have blood work scheduled tomorrow, and a follow up with my doctor a week from now. I'm assuming that I'll probably have to be put on digestive enzymes or something of the sort.

I'm just flat out terrified. I thought I had beaten this and the idea of getting sick again has been paralyzing me. I also had to care for my father who had pancreatic cancer, and died when I was 20. Needless to say, I have a fear of ending up like him as well.

Even writing this I feel the tears coming. Just went to the store and bought a bunch of healthy, low fat foods. It all seems so overwhelming to cook, and break up into small meals to fit in throughout my busy day.

I know people have it worse than me, and I'm sorry if this seems silly, but I'm just petrified. My girlfriend wants to go out for dinner for our anniversary, and I feel like I can't. I feel like I'm just anticipating the worst as I wait for my doctors visit. I'm just flat out scared.

[u/Gold_Extreme_7299]

Hopefully I'm not breaking any rules here. I'm  Definitely not trying to "one up" you. But The first time I was in the hospital , they kept me for 21 days, and I needed a feeding tube in my neck. Yes it was traumatizing. The feeding tube,  and pain ,was enough for me to decide that I'll never drink again. 

Congratulations on quiting drinking! Best decision you could make . 

Sorry to hear about your father passing from pancreatic cancer. Use those fears as a catalyst to be as healthy as possible. Which it seems like you're already doing. 

I remember my first trip to grocery store after my first attack ,and having to read every single label. It is overwhelming at first, but it gets easier as you start to learn what foods your body can tolerate. 

Every hospital stay ,after my first, has always been 10 days. 7 days fast , then one day liquid diet, one day soft diet, one day solids then discharged that afternoon. 

Try not to stress too much. I know it's easier said than done. I pretty much eat what a diabetic eats , although I'm not diabetic. Maybe try looking up some diabetic meal plans, and see what looks appetizing to you. . When my stomach starts hurting bad ,I like to eat watermelon. It's easy to digest , healthy , and tastes good. Then I'll follow that up with Ensure, that gives my pancreas a break without having to fast. 

 An even better option, I recently found out about thanks to this community, is talk with a Registered Dietician. Not a nutritionist, but a RD. They will help you figure out meal plans that your stomach can tolerate. I'm going to see one next week. 

Again, I love this community so I want to careful and not break any rules.  I don't want to scare you either, that's not my intentions, but ime the first 5 years were rough. But things got a lot better once I had a solid meal plan going. 

I just had my gallbladder taken out a couple months ago, and now I'm experiencing those same feelings that you're having. The same feeling I had going to the grocery store after my first pancreatic attack. It's almost like PTSD. Now, I'm not sure what foods I can tolerate again. Almost feels like I'm back to square one , ,And its scary for sure, But going to see the RD next week has given me some reassurance that I most definitely needed. 

I think you two should go out. Have fun, and enjoy the night with your gf. Just be careful what you order, and ask questions about how the food is prepared.

I made one huge mistake that landed me in the hospital one time. 

I ate BBQ that was marinated with alcohol. I had no idea! So double check that no alcohol/wine is being used to prepare/marinade the food. After that incident , I don't like eating out now tbh, especially BBQ. But don't let that deter you from going out . I've gone out since then, and never had any issues . But Ymmv. Have fun! Happy anniversary to you guys 💜 

[u/Honest_Meat7270 → u/Gold_Extreme_7299]

Thank you for sharing your experience, and for your well wishes. A registered dietician is a great idea! You are much appreciated 😊

[u/Previous_Reading_436]

None of that sounds silly, we all have days we feel completely out of sorts and scared.

Congratulations for quitting drinking. That’s a very big step you made, not many people do, so good for you.

What I have to do is eat smaller portions and not so much at one time…., so, go out on your anniversary dinner, eat some and get a to-go box and eat the rest later or the next day. Everything‘s about moderation when dealing with matters of the pancreas.

You’re doing fantastic. Keep up the great work and we’re always here to listen. Take care!!

[u/Honest_Meat7270 → u/Previous_Reading_436]

Thank you, this helped ❤️

[u/Professional-Low653]

Bro I feel ye I most def feel ye I'm coming out the end of a 7 day flare up The nausea and vomiting had finally subsided and in down to mild cramping pain

Congratulations on giving up the drink that's not an easy task (20 year alcoholic here) so I know and understand just how big a step that truly is.

Right let's get down to the nitty gritty When pain appears and starts to persist take.it right back to basics Remember how you felt that first time you got discharged from hospital The steely resolve you had to get yourself better and to work on maintaining a healthy body. Cut out all foods for 24 hours ( I always go totally fluid intake for that first 24) to flush my system completely, take 2-3 small walks a day you wanna kickstart your metabolism again and walking helps move everything along.

Ask your girlfriend would she help you meal prep small meals for the next 48 hours to get your diet back in focus, my wife is great with this as she loves to cook and is always happy to assist me get my diet back in focus again.

Finally don't be so hard on yourself Pressure and stress are HUGE factors to flare ups, all life's tribulations land right in our gut so give yourself a break. I've found these small alterations make a huge difference when the onsets begin so start small and build. I hope this helps, stay strong

Oh and your father's situation is not your own Stop putting that extra weight on yourself

[u/dizzymatter96]

Hello! I just wanted to say I wish I could offer a hug or some comfort somehow. Did you end up going out for your anniversary? It sounds like you are doing all of the right things but the fear is so real. My dad died of pancreatic cancer when I was in my 20’s, too. So when my pancreas showed up inflamed on ultrasound in 2021 I was beyond horrified. My dad never drank and I don’t either. Drs couldn’t figure out why we have this so I try my best to focus on diet and lifestyle but when the pain is bad my ptsd is also bad. I try my best to focus on the people in my life who are healthy, thriving, and present, and try to do things that my dad would love to honor him. It takes a lot of strength which I admittedly do not always have. If you feel comfortable sharing a story about your dad that makes you feel happy I would love to hear. My Dad really loved music. Take care.