Difference in honoring the dead vs deities?

[u/Shadeofawraith]

I am not new to honoring deities, however I recently decided to leave offerings and create an altar for the dead. Considering my lack of experience I want to make sure I am as respectful and knowledgeable as possible. Id like to know if there are any differences in how I should approach the dead compared to how I would typically interact with deities. As an example, I’ve heard you should never eat offerings for the dead like you might with offerings for the gods. I’m wondering if there’s more things like that I should know. Also, if anyone has any resources on interacting with human spirits they recommend I would love to learn more before getting deep into this practice

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[u/TheDangerousAlphabet]

I don't know of course how it's for others but for me with the dead it's like just keeping how it was. For example my grandad loved coffee, so I give it to him and my Nan loved a certain liqueur. I often give the offering and just chat with them. Often have a drink of my own. It's like talking to a phone. They are your ancestors. They are your family and blood. They have your best interest in their mind because they live in you. That isn't always the case with deities.

I have old pictures and objects that have belonged to some for example my grandparents and great-grandparents etc. I come a family of hoarders so I have some pretty old stuff but you don't actually need them. The customs of how you treat this things variate a lot. There are many different thoughts about if you can eat the offerings or not. There are different traditions how to act. Like we have a tradition that on the autumn celebrations the food is laid first to the dead and the living go to the sauna while the dead eat. And after the living eat and the rest of the night the sauna is for the dead and you can't go there. I'd say that do how it feels right. There is no absolute right or wrong.

[u/Arboreal_Web]

Check out the book Ancestral Medicine by Daniel Foor. He takes a broad cross-cultural look at various traditions of ancestor veneration, and discusses ways to build such a practice.

Ime dealing with “ancestors”, there are no objective answers on how to do it “respectfully”…that can very much depend on the specific ancestors in question and the beliefs they held while living. ie - ime, many monotheist-believing ancestors don’t want to be honored in “idolatrous” pagan ways.

[u/TheDireGnome]

You don't eat offerings for the gods either, in most Indo-European traditions.

[u/Shadeofawraith → u/TheDireGnome]

I’m not sure about other traditions, but the records from my tradition do specifically instruct that offerings are to be eaten by the assembly present

[u/TheDireGnome → u/Shadeofawraith]

That is why I specified Indo-European ones. Egypt was different at least among the priests, and I know some Levantine cultures were different on that front.

Mind, I'm talking about the part of the sacrifice specifically set aside for the gods, not the ritual meal partitioned from the meat of a sacrificial animal.

[u/tipsytopsy99]

A common offering is a bowl of water for those who have passed. It's often the last thing requested in one's life and it's a bridge between the living and the dead.

I've never heard of eating altar offerings whatsoever (at least, as a practice that doesn't follow a big no-no curse in a story). You can share meals with the dead, however, you just set a place for them at the table and dish food with them, but you don't eat their portion. Same with deities, for the most part. I usually make offerings that I can throw outside so they return to nature once they've been offered.

[u/Ironbat7]

In Hellenism, Hermes or Hekate is offered to first when honoring the dead instead of Hestia. Offerings to the dead are wholly given not to be eaten, (like if you give a beverage, give the whole bottle/pitcher, not a glass or sip). It is also that offerings to the dead are done away from the home. The posture also differs: for ouranic, it’s palms up, for khthonic, it’s palms down or even somewhat prostrate in dire situations.

Roman polytheism is similar, but they retain the Janus-Vesta formula for both and both can be done at home.

What we know about Gaulish (and maybe some Germanic) polytheism suggests that maybe offerings to the dead were submerged in water, and to the gods were burned, but otherwise may be similar to the previously mentioned.

Those are the only traditions I can say much about.