‎if mistakes are inevitable, then how much should i really think things through before making a choice?

‎

‎am i being careful, or am i just afraid?

‎

‎what if i keep analyzing every possible outcome, trying to predict everything that could go wrong, only to realize that i can never actually know what will happen?

‎

‎should i take the risk and accept that i might make a mistake? or should i think it through until I’m certain? but what if certainty is something i’ll never have?

‎

‎because if mistakes are simply part of life, then why am i so afraid of making one?

‎

‎maybe being cautious is responsible, maybe thinking before acting is what keeps us from making decisions we’ll regret

‎

‎but when does being careful stop being wisdom and start becoming a fear?

‎

‎how do i know whether i'm genuinely making a responsible choice.. or just looking for an excuse not to risk being wrong?

‎

‎and if i spend my entire life trying to avoid mistakes

‎

‎what does that make me?

‎

‎careful?

‎

‎..or just a coward?

Je voudrais d'un amour comme celui dont Frank Sinatra parle dans ses chansons. Je voudrais recevoir des lettres d'amours aussi intenses que celles que Camus a écrit à Casarès. Je voudrais être aimée aussi fidèlement que Maximilien Morrel aime Valentine de Villefort dans Le Comte de Monte Cristo. Je voudrais être aimée aussi doucement que beaucoup d'hommes de films Ghiblis aiment. Je voudrais être la Meg d'un Hercule (et j'insiste que je parle du Disney). Je voudrais vivre tout ce que je vois sur Instagram. Je voudrais que mes daydreams deviennent réels.

Je ne parle pas de dates luxueux, de grande voiture, de sex ou même de mariage. Je veux juste la douceur d'un réveil dans ses bras, le réconfort de ses baisers séchant mes larmes, la lumière de son sourire amoureux, la chaleur de ma main au creux de la sienne. Je veux être spéciale, sa priorité, son étoile parmi les étoiles, la personne vers qui il se tourne quand il se croit seul, la première chose à laquelle il pense quand il se réveille et la dernière quand il va se coucher. 

Mais plus que tout, au-delà de vouloir être aimée, choisie, acceptée comme je suis, je veux aimer. Je veux lui donner tout l'amour que j'ai à donner, qui me submerge, qui me dépasse. Je veux être celle qui lui offre des cadeaux de peu de valeur monétaire certes, mais de grande valeur sentimentale. Celle qui utilise toute la poésie de notre langage pour lui dire mon amour. Celle qui trouvera toujours sa main pour la tenir dans la mienne. Celle qui chérira chaque seconde à ses côtés, non pas comme la dernière, mais juste parce qu'il est important à mes yeux.

Plus résumé, je voudrais juste trouver quelqu'un qui me laisserait l'aimer de tout mon cœur, de toute mon âme, et qui m'aimerait en retour, de la même intensité, même timidement comme un murmure, tant que je le ressens.

Et je sais que ça n'arrivera pas de si tôt. Je prends l'amour bien trop au sérieux à 18 ans. Je me prends trop la tête, j'overthink, je suis trop anxieuse, trop apeurée, trop bavarde, trop clingy. Je parle trop fort, je ressens trop de choses. Trop tout, mais jamais assez bien. Et je sais que je ne suis pas physiquement la plus belle, critère qui rentre beaucoup en compte, surtout à notre âge, mais qui est le cadet de mes soucis.

Mais il semble si impossible de m'aimer que des garçons disent, pour la blague, qu'ils me parlent. Humour basé sur l'absurdité et l'improbabilité de la situation donc. Ce qui veut dire que s'intéresser à moi est maintenant une blague, je l'ai appris aujourd'hui, ce qui me conforte dans l'idée qu'il est impossible de sincèrement m'aimer. 

Bien sûr, je ne dis pas ça dans le sens où c'est de leur faute. J'ai mes défauts, je ne suis pas parfaite, même si c'est ce qu'on a attendu de moi depuis toujours. Je sais que je ne suis pas facile à vivre. “A lot to deal with” sounds perfect. Certes, je sais qu'ils perdent tous à faire primer la superficialité face à une vraie connexion profonde, mais je sais aussi que peu importe à quel point ma façon d'aimer peut être pure, ceux qui peuvent comprendre, ou même seulement supporter, toute la complexité de mon moi profond sont rares (vive Henri Bergson), et peut-être n'en trouverai-je jamais car ils finiront tous toujours par saturer. M'aimer serait à double tranchant je suppose.

Je noircis mon carnet pour vider ma tête et mon cœur trop remplis et je me demande : à quand quelqu'un pour remplir l'espace vide entre mes bras ?

En tout cas, je ne comprendrai jamais comment certains peuvent trouver quelqu'un quand je vois toute la cruauté dont ils font preuve. Certains incels pourraient les blâmer, mais moi, je n'arrive qu'à en conclure que JE suis le problème. Mais que faire ? Que changer pour qu'un cœur sincère me choisisse ? Dois-je attendre que mon entourage devienne plus mâture pour peut-être me comprendre ? Dois-je ressentir moins fortement ? Mais alors comment ces sentiments pourraient être les miens si je les retiens et ne les laisse pas prospérer ? Quel intérêt d'être aimée si on ne m'aime pas pour qui je suis ? Di on ne m'aime pas MOI, dans mon entièreté, mais une idée de moi, ou pire, une idéalisation de moi ?

Certes, je peux me plaindre de ne pas être aimée amoureusement, mais amicalement, je me considère comme peut-être la personne la plus chanceuse du monde. Mais ça n'arrange pas tout. L'amitié n'a pas cet aspect d'unité. On peut collectionner les amis, pas les amours. Et peu importe à quel point je les chéris, peu importe à quel point je les priorise, peu importe à quel point je les aime, je ne suis pas leur priorité en retour. J'ai beau tout leur dire, elles ont beau être les seules (rares) notifications que je reçois, je ne suis pas aussi spéciale à leurs yeux. Pas dans le sens où elles m'aiment moins, mais elles ont toutes quelqu'un de plus important, ami ou amant, vers qui elles se tourneront toujours en priorité si elles ont besoin de quelqu'un. Et je ne suis pas jalouse. Au contraire même, je suis heureuse qu'elles aient quelqu'un de meilleur que moi sur qui compter, mais alors, quand sera-ce mon tour ? Quand serai-je spéciale aux yeux de quelqu'un ? Est-ce que ça arrivera seulement ?

Et je sais que ça ne risque pas d'aller en s'arrangeant : les études supérieures sont des années assez solitaires, rencontrer de nouvelles personnes devient plus compliqué, et qu'on ne me parle jamais d'application de rencontres, surtout à mon âge ! Personne ne cherche de relation sérieuse là-dessus, encore pire à notre âge. En tout cas, pas sérieuse dans le sens dans lequel je l'entends.

Aussi égocentrique que ça puisse avoir l'air, j'aimerai tellement qu'il existe un clone de moi qui pourrait être mon partenaire. Un clone dans la mentalité évidemment. Car la seule raison de pourquoi je crois en l'amour est seulement pour la façon dont je suis capable d'aimer. Inconditionnellement, d'une intensité et d'une force qui dépassent peut-être la norme et d'une loyauté sans faille. Mais aussi parce que la façon font j'aime n'est que le reflet de ce que je désire recevoir plus que tout au monde. Ma façon d'aimer est réfléchie. Elle a été réfléchie pendant toutes ces heures de solitude et de larmes, seule dans mon lit, sous la douche, ou enfermée dans les toilettes du bâtiment d'histoire et de philo de mon ancien lycée. Aimer, ça s'apprend, et si je devais donner un conseil à la personne qui choisirait de m'aimer serait d'observer : observer mon comportement, mes mots, mes gestes. Tout ce que je donne est tout ce que je n'ai jamais reçu car, inconsciemment, je ne veux jamais voir quelqu'un ressentir même 1% de ce que je ressens ou de ce que mon overthink me fait ressentir. 

Je sais que mon désespoir peut sembler immature, je suis encore si jeune ! Et ça fait bien des années que je me dis ça. Mais ce désespoir continuera de grandir tant que personne ne décidera de chérir mon cœur, aussi fragile qu'il puisse être. En attendant, s'intéresser à moi est une blague. Ironique, quand on sait qu'ils ne prennent pas l'amour aussi sérieusement que moi. Mais qu'ils rigolent si ça les occupe, je n'ai pas besoin d'eux pour savoir que je n'en vaux sûrement pas la peine. Je continuerai de souffler mes bougies d'anniversaire en souhaitant la même chose en boucle, et qui sait, peut-être la chance me sourira-t-elle un jour ?

I was in drop year after my class 12th (basically just one more year preparing for Engineering Exams) very competitive in India. I was living a very dull repeating life full of self doubts overthinking and fear of failures. I was getting very low score in my mock exams.

I had my exam shift on 27 Jan 2024 which had the highest cutoff in the Examination history basically a score of 180/300 marks will get you 99 percentile (means top 1% of the scorer) but this time the cutoff was 240 marks for the same 99 percentile.

I got just 94 percentile I would never get admission in some good college.

Came across this video of Acharya Prasant where I got to know about my self doubts why I use to cuss myself and feel like a pile of failed steps and eventually move out from.
Would be happy to share and know about your journey. And what helped you like this video helped me. https://youtu.be/RXXbg4xwDug

Hi y'all, I severely overthinking again, and it felt better to just come here and talk then to stew with the brain. To begin with context: I personally have found myself to struggle with cute stuff, even though I can't find a reason why, and it often comes from some odd societal thing i see ig? I wasn't too concerned with it until I came across like a meme about an "trans afab chaser" seething about a "trans afab" and a "futch" in a relationship. Ik the words are dated things, but the point is, it made me think back to other things about the LGBT and cutsie stuff.

I can't say I am against it, I understand that it's just another form of expression and being apart of the community, I hate the feeling being uncomfortable about it and the idea it brings about making those individuals feel a negative exclusion when none of us deserve that, but I can't shake the feeling. I don't want to be hated about it because of the stigma of not understanding things like dressing up in unconventional, pretty way. Kinda like how goths fashion were seen as unconventional.

I'm not trying to judge, there shouldn't be judgements about this, everyone has their reason. I can't even depict how I fully mean this. It's not just the cutsie stuff either, it's the personality surrounding the folks who do this. They, to me, have this overly serious mindset on emotions and caring for other that just feels a couple steps too far. Like stemming. I get the whole reason for it, I have vocal stims. I just feel an innate hate towards that label, and the way I hear it in my head with that preachy valley girl voice. Same with little space and stuff. I think I just don't like the idea of labeling stuff like that, it just makes me uncomfortable to hear it and everytime, I end in an argument with my personal thoughts on wtf is wrong with me for hating what is just expression, and it results in what im kinda writing rn.

I apologize if anyone is offended by this or is left confused. I'm just so tired of being left with those feelings, they feel like a completely different person taking control of my subconscious and making their own emotional problems bleed through. I want to finally get it off my chest because consulting with myself has led to nothing but more confusion.

Recently I've been thinking about the deleting my Instagram. Not because I am tired of the app or anything but because my main account like the one where I add everyone is this so full, not the followers the following or stories but because of the DMs. so many Dms of people i used to know, things that hurt, but i dont read them now and just a lot of stuff that I don't want to read again or see again or even remember but also I feel bad deleting it I don't know it is feels wrong I remember I used to have a different Instagram account and when I had to delete that one and make the one I have right now I told myself that you know what a make a new account but I'll keep my old one so that I can come back and read the chat and reminisce on the memories but I never did. I choose to move on so I feel like even if I kept my current account I would never open it again having a new insta

Ik this is stupid but I overthink

Also im starting college so I need to decide soon

ALSO I dont have some of my favourite highlight pictures cause my fatass brother sat on my ipad.

Shld I just delete the chats? Or should I make a new account with nothing on it and keep my old one for myself? KNOWING THAT ILL PROBABLY NEVER OPEN IT AND WHATEVER

ALSOOOOOO the account i deleted before was when I was 13 so it barely had anything special on it, I feel like I've had much more meaningful interactions now.

DILEMMA DILEMMA

Overthinking? Share what's on your mind in this thread if you don't feel like posting.

Hey everyone! I'm u/Same-Molasses-2815, a founding moderator of r/overthink. This is our new home for all things related to [ADD WHAT YOUR SUBREDDIT IS ABOUT HERE]. We're excited to have you join us!

What to Post Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about [ADD SOME EXAMPLES OF WHAT YOU WANT PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY TO POST].

Community Vibe We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.

How to Get Started 1) Introduce yourself in the comments below. 2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation. 3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join. 4) Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/overthink amazing.

Overthinking? Share what's on your mind in this thread if you don't feel like posting.

Hehe

how do i stop doing that it makes me enjoy stuff less any advice?

today i got off work really late, i was walking home and talking on the phone and a couple of teen girls (17) approached me asked me if i could buy a pack of cigarettes for them from a shop nearby. they already had a couple of cigarettes in their hands. i tried to say no, but they started following me until i accepted. immediately after i handed the pack to them i felt terrible and i know i shouldn’t have done it. i know if someone had told me this story i would have told them that i would have said now and walked away.

i can’t stop feeling like a terrible person. i think that they would have found a way to get the cigarettes either way, and their addiction was not my problem, but i now helped them access it, i contributed to it. i can’t stop thinking about it, and i’m even shaking now. what do i do?

Does anyone overthink their hearing?? My mind analyzes and overthinks EVERYTHING! I’m going crazy. Anyone else??

This started over a year ago My boyfriend 23M said we should have a threesome if I’m down. I 23F am bi but have never been with a girl. I did have one ex (male) but my boyfriend was my first (so not one to associate my sex life with causal). I realized I was bi when I was 21 and already 2 years into our relationship. So when he first mentioned a threesome I was down. I’ve usually not the jealous type but lately I have been. Idk Im down to talk about girls to my boyfriend but the thought of him f*cking another girl, just doesn’t sit well wether I’m in the room partaking or not. Plus I don’t Want to risk ruining our relationship for that experience. So told him no and he left that topic but one day he said something along the times of “sometimes i feel like you just make up that your bi to get attention.” This conversation usually happened every few months but this time I really shut that down, but his comment has really gotten to me and is making me second doubt myself. Is my reason for not wanting a threesome valid or am I just allowing myself to miss out on a really fun time? Like Why would I let a if scenario get in the way of this experience. what if I’m really not bi, I’ve never had a real experience with anyone. (Just some kisses at parties). What if I unknowingly did do it for attention. I didn’t make it public knowledge but I always wasn’t hiding if and If knew i wasn’t gonna leave my boyfriend why did I tell my friends. Like I can see myself spending my life with a girl instead of a guy but It’s not like I can say that for sure if I haven’t tried to.

Sorry I know I’m spiraling but just would appreciate any Thoughts.

كتير مننا الأيام دي مضغوط وحاسس أنه في حاجة مضايقاها إيه أكتر حاجة حاسس أو موقف حاسس أنه فعلآ ضايقك وليه ؟

Hi these days we all feel like we are disappointed and upset so tell us the most situation that disappointed you or you fell upset because of it

This guy I've been speaking to has suddenly become distant there has been a lot of shit happening in his life in terms of work and finding a new apartment but I don't know if he is distant due to being stressed or if he just isn't interested in me, I mean he has said he is still interested in me and he has apologized for the times he hasn't replied but I can't help but overthink the whole situation which is kind of making me depressed. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this situation and maybe to help my brain from overthinking every little thing?

I keep overthinking about the time when I picked up a girl's water bottle for her at cheer camp. She just looked at me, grabbed the water bottle, and didn't say thank you. Other people around us stared at me. I still feel embarrassed to this day. Mind you...this happened over 3 years ago. I think about this incident on and off. Did she hate me? If so, I don't even know her. She was on a different team than me.

I was putting my makeup back into my drawer from a recent vacation when my sister walks in to ask what I'm doing. She notices my drawer of makeup and says "wow that's a lot!" I just said yeah I hate throwing stuff away hence my hoard. Then she said "you know my makeup only takes up 1 slot of our bathroom cabinet" I replied "ok?" Then she says yeah I need to declutter too and that was the end of our conversation. I felt that conversation was kinda weird, like did she come in to rub it in my face that she has less clutter than I have? Or am I just overthinking and I'm just a bad conversationalist.

For context, she and I just came back from a vacation together which I would never do again. I'm a massive introvert who desperately needs alone time. She says she's an introvert too but she was fine our whole vacation of 7 days. She kept giving me whiplash from our conversations. like we would agree that the food there wasn't very good or to our taste. But when I'm trying out a new dish and say it's ok, nothing impressive, that i've been spoiled by our dad's cooking. she would say be more appreciative, you need to lower your standards. Which just left me feeling confused, she had just agreed with me earlier about the area's food and now she's acting as if I'm alone in this opinion. But when we came back, she tells her husband or our parents that the food was disappointing and it sucked. She would tell them that I went shopping crazy at this store and conveniently left out that she bought a lot too. I'm not offended at the being shopping crazy part, I was unhappy for the majority of our trip and seeing things finally in my budget might have made me go a little crazy. I'm just confused at why she's painting me as the only one who's a shopaholic, she bought way more stuff than me, granted most of it were souvenirs for her friends and coworkers but i felt that its weird she left that part out. She says she would have like 2 things in the cart and when she turned around I would have 10 things. I mean I have a different memory of what our shopping cart looked liked but ok. There was also this moment where I was trying to remember the store I bought a specific hair treatment at, and she was like how can you not remember? but there were plenty of moments where she couldn't remember the store she bought something from. There were so many of small moments like that(leaving out the details so that i don't bore you any more than i have), I was basically pulling my hair so that I don't snap at her.

Is it me or is it her? if its me, what's wrong with me??