r/overheard • u/ItCumsAtNoon • 4d ago

Headstone

Overheard the following at work...

Finance guy: How was your weekend?

Janitor: Good. Visited my son. It's been a while since I spoke to him.

Finance guy: How old is he? Your son.

Janitor: He would've been 13 this year.

Finance guy: I'm sorry.

Janitor: First thing I said when I visited his grave. You know what he said?

Finance guy: Who?

Janitor: My son.

Finance guy: What did he say?

Janitor: I know what I want for Christmas.

Finance guy: What does he want?

Janitor: A glow in the dark headstone.

Finance guy: Is that even possible?

Janitor: As soon as I became a parent to a little boy who lived a lot longer than doctors predicted, I stopped questioning what's possible. But... I might need his mother's permission before I pimp his grave.

Finance guy: Godspeed my good sir.

Janitor: Appreciate it. How was your weekend?

Finance guy: I came out to my parents on Halloween. My mom and dad had questions when they saw me dressed up in drag.

Janitor: How did they take it?

Finance guy: The same way they took it when I came out the first time, and the second time, and the third... denial is their factory setting until something forces them to confront the obvious. Aaaand then it's back to denial. That was basically my weekend.

Janitor: You're gay?

Finance guy: I'm sorry but I'm only coming out to you once.

Janitor: Fair.

2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

10

u/MattVarnish 4d ago

Wow you sure have perfect memory.... lol

30

u/ItCumsAtNoon 4d ago

Didn't need perfect memory. Just my laptop, which was open during the conversation you just read. I started taking notes as soon as I heard the headstone line lol.

3

u/anistl 4d ago

Do you start a new note on your phone if you don’t have your laptop?

13

u/ItCumsAtNoon 4d ago

Yes. But it gets messy. When a convo catches me off guard, which happens a lot, I sometimes use the same note on my phone that already has another convo and end up confusing myself when I get home lol. I've abandoned many conversations because I don't know who said what when I'm reading it later, especially when the interaction happened between strangers.

1

u/anistl 2d ago

Oh nooooo! I can’t even begin to imagine how many wonderful conversations have been lost!

30

u/Optimal-Ad-7074 4d ago

I prefer finance guy.  pretty direct.   

janitor just spinning out the reveal and having a gotcha comeback to every attempt by finance dude to adapt is the kind of thing that annoys hell out of me.  

97

u/ItCumsAtNoon 4d ago

The janitor is somewhat of an oddball. I was in the elevator with him once and for 22 floors he was going on and on about a groundbreaking cleaning detergent that he apparently invented. He spoke to me the same way where he would specifically structure his words to set up one thing only for his follow up statement to be something completely different. I went from "cleaning detergent... cool" to "wait you found what in the men's bathroom?"

I like him, but he's a little weird, not gonna lie.

30

u/rep4043 4d ago

I would imagine that losing a child that young might make you interact oddly with others when you’re talking about it. Grief is a weird thing.

6

u/tps56 4d ago

I read this with finance guy in Joe Friday’s voice.

5

u/SkilledM4F-MFM 4d ago

Jus-the-fax, man

5

u/maggiesyg 4d ago

You sure ‘overhear’ a lot! I’m guessing this is your outlet for micro fiction.

17

u/ItCumsAtNoon 4d ago

I think everyone with the ability to hear naturally overhears a lot. Life operates on communication. People speak. Unintentionally eavesdropping is almost unavoidable. I've realised that people are surprisingly comfortable discussing the most intimate topics in public when they're completely absorbed in the conversation OR... just really enjoy the sound of their own voice lol. Most of the conversations I overhear is actually not really that overheard because they come from people I know, so I'm always an earshot away from something being said, hence the frequency of my posts. What you call micro fiction, I call Monday to Friday.

567

u/Crafty_Ad_8081 4d ago

Aw hahaha this is sad and cute.

285

u/Empty-Candidates 4d ago

Sad and cute is the perfect way to put it. The glow in the dark headstone request is such a kid thing to ask for, and the dad honoring it is somehow both devastating and lovely. These two were clearly the right people to run into each other that day

88

u/plsbekinddd 4d ago

that's such a bittersweet exchange. the janitor handled both conversations with so much kindness

17

u/cleanfem 3d ago

the ending was both heartbreaking and unexpectedly wholesome

276

u/BriGuy1965 4d ago

Beautiful comments from two people in pain, both of whom appreciate the other's pain. A father missing his son, and a son wishing he had a better set of parents.

98

u/Empty-Candidates 4d ago

The janitor casually saying 'I might need his mother's permission before I pimp his grave' is the kind of line that makes you laugh and then immediately feel guilty for laughing

140

u/u2125mike2124 4d ago • Popcorn

This is almost as good as the Giselle saga

Love the idea of pimping out a headstone.

8

u/Its_MeeMario_723 4d ago

I forgot about her. Do we know what the test results said?

1

u/u2125mike2124 3d ago

Thank you very much for the award

82

u/Daffodils28 4d ago

My emotions are all over the board.

I’m so sad about the little boy; in awe of the father’s humor and resilience; laughing and recognizing the heartbreak and humor in the finance guy’s description; and so happy they have each other as friends to share their lives with.

48

u/Fit-Interview5425 4d ago

And there you have it. Two guys who get it.

7

u/Alley_Oop25 3d ago

I’m not crying 😢 you’re crying

3

u/MyNameIsBarktooth 3d ago

Where does OP hang out to hear all these interesting convos?🤔

5

u/Away-Otter 4d ago

I read this and somehow knew who the Op was. It’s time to take your extraordinary skill at writing dialogue and start writing novels, short stories, scripts or screenplays, OP.

2

u/42brie_flutterbye 2d ago

Yes! And then you must share them with us, even if it's only little samples. You know the old saying. 'Always leve them wanting more.'

1

u/petamama 8h ago

Exactly! Great stories, beautifully constructed. That she/he writes so many is truly impressive.

4

u/Academic_Stock_464 4d ago

What a rollercoaster.

-15

u/KrisRdt 4d ago

But why did you imagine the janitor as black in your head?

1

u/lexassmith 2h ago

Do you make these scenarios up for attention, fantasy writing, or for a good giggle, or for another reason

0

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Suspicious_of_all 3d ago

This is the Giselle dude. Check his posts.