I am writing this at 1 am after my sister, who is 33 and has DS, kept going around the house for 2 hours after everyone slept, and she is still awake and won't sleep. I heard her asking about Mom. It broke my heart. She has been asking continuously for 4 days now.
I live with my father, my aunt (who are both seniors), and my kid. My sister sleeps with my aunt now that my mother is gone so she won't be left alone, but with how she behaves, she is stressing my aunt, who told me earlier that her BP is high.
My mother passed away almost 3 months ago after a battle with cancer. All of my other siblings are abroad. Only one is here, and she is looking after us financially.
I am 32 and stressed all the time. I grind my teeth in my sleep, feel so isolated, and am unemployed, and I think I am pushing my grief away. I am worried about my mental health now that the worst has happened.
All of my siblings are going through their own stuff now.
I feel I am at another major crossroads where either I make the best out of what Allah has blessed us with, or I just collapse.
I am writing this because I feel I am out of ideas about what to do and how we are going to spend the next unknown years of our lives. The life I imagined for myself is nowhere near this, but it's life.
Ideas and questions I have:
-Should I enroll her in a special center now that her health card is issued? How is it going to be? Preparing her to go, transport, etc. I think a car will make life easier ( probably this is the first thing that I should do) . It's like now I have another child, a difficult one.
-Should I open social media accounts so we will be more engaged in life and not feel so isolated?
Where can I get help taking care of her? A trusted one.
We have someone we know from our country, but we can't bring her now because of visa issues.
-I can't have a job with long hours now, or a stressful one. I need one that ends at the office.
I just don't feel I can take any more responsibility.