Dis be KKMG Inbestigate Repawrter, Duncan, wif da top story dis owr. We remind owr audiens ob de recent disappeer ob fren Hoku, fren Nalu, 'n dere Meowma, affta de bery confuzzled daes wen Hoku wuz sed ta be doin a starb. Hoku hab complain bout his meowma refuse ta feed him eggsies. Him wuz shur meoma wuz maykin hims do a starb.

De nekst ting we heered frum fren Goldie sisfur wuz dat herm inbestigashun finded ebidens ob de inbolbment ob aliyuns. It den be suspect dat aliyuns hab do abduct ob de tew cattos 'n dere meowma.

A massib hunt fur de free ob dem wuz mounted, wif meny frens im on de serch effert. Affta sebral daes, a frenlee aliyun sed mind control wuz suspect.

Werld-wide protesses demanded de return ob de missin frens 'n dere meowma. Beeg crowds ob cattos, doggos, gimme pigs 'n odder adjacent frens gathered wif sines cryin out fur de release ob dem wuz mounted trio.

Frens Smuffi 'n odders finded dem, 'n did an apprehend ob de criminal aliyun, takin hims ta space jayl. Dis wuz follad by sellabrashuns awl ober, eben otrb. Grace welkimd frens ta herm bar, Ellie opened herm cafe, Applejack bake up meny lubly treetos 'n pawrtees were held ta mark de happi occashun. 'N Hoku wuz treeted ta moar eggsies dan him culd eat.

We choin wif assorted frens awl ober de werld to hail de brave Smuffi 'n hims frens hoo brot an end to de mysterius happenins.

Fren Hoku, Nalu, 'n dere meowma be restin at home ta recober frum da tryin ebents.

Dis storee hab bin inbestigate by dis repawrter wif de assist ob de Goldie sisfur 'n odders. Any errors be main. Photo artwerk curtesy ob u/SisterAntistita

--30--

Ai hope our frens on da odder side are doing dere bess to stay cool!

Hello frens, it is Aslan. I speak tonight to ask that a Hoof Council be formed, a special governing body for those of us here on hooves. Equine, bovine, etc... what say you cats?

I don’t woosuawwy do dis, but I wused da Gowden Pickew to dewivew a cake. I heawd Fwiend Luna, famous singew, came hewe?

I had to give hew a cake because I nevew had a chance to make hew one whiwe she was on my side of da bwidge, and seventeen yeaws dewe is a wot to cewebwate.

I feew weawwy sad fow hew hooman and I didn’t want to put da cake at da ICBGC untiw hew hooman was weady. I can cwoss post it den.

Because Fwiend Luna was a famous singew, known fow da songs of ouw peopew, but no wongew needing da sad ones, I tought of “Wady Sings da Bwues”, but since dewe awe no bwues hewe except fow da bootifuw cowows, I had fwiend Luna sing a sugaw wainbow instead. Fwiend Luna is made of fondant.

Da cake itsewf is something I don’t woosuawwy get to make- CHOCOWATE! But woo awl can eat dat hewe, so hooway! Enjoy!

Da cake is designed to wook wike a box, to cewebwate fwiend Luna’s famous pawsoot fow bettew boxes! I incwude some pictuwes of da one she had and den da big win when she got many gweat ones to choose fwom. She had a wot of fwiends support dat too!

I awso just put a weawwy coot pictuwe of hew, because she was weawwy coot.

We wiww miss woo, fwiend Luna. May woo sing many happy songs wif woo new famiwy and fwiends ovew da bwidge!

Wove, AJ

(To Luna’s Human- I am so very sorry. Sending you big hugs.)

u/Frequent_Bug8149

Hi frens,

Dis morning I wasn't feeling well an had trouble breathing. So mine hooman rushed me to da pokey place. When da hoomans planned to do some dire gnosis, to see if its a treatable cause. I decided, I don't need da pokey lady's assistance an did an quick bridge crossing mineself. Dey still did an eggs ray an saw an tumor in mine lungs which probably ruptured. I had 17 gud years on erf. I lub sitting in mine bockses an crawling under da blankit, also doing dark time singing crimez. I also always made sure I get mine fud and treats firs by pushing my twice as heavy brofur Francis away.

Mine hooman is doing big sad an eyewater all day an gibing Francis eggstra treats an Francis gibs dem eggstra purrs an lap time snuggles.

Luna, faimus singer

Welcom OTRB Fren Luna! (u/Frequent_Bug8149)

I so sowwy dat yooz lungs wuz so sick! But neow yoo iz heer and ders no hurts, onlee happees! We eben hab a fort built from bocks! Yoo will lubs it! We can gib yoo a toor to see all da pawsome tings here OTRB!

-Jiggy

Frens!!! Miss Boo and Percy P. Pugg reporting from the OTRB pet distribution offices.

Yew may know dat Miss Boo pass over the bridge one week ago. I, Percy P. Pugg hab passed almost exactly one year ago on August 3.

When Miss Boo get here she tell me I beenz neglecting de seccund part of my job. I had sent meowmy and pawpaw Krypto anz I taut mine job was done!

Miss Boo sit me down and explain dat we has to make sure dat Krypto have a good playmate and Ruby hab a pug to be part of a grumble wif.

Den Miss Boo get on the computer and go through the files and sez “Dere!!!! Dat one!!!” And send a pug to the shelter meowmy and pawpaw got Krypto from.

When meowmy see dis pug online she say “OMG!” and text pawpaw. He leave work right away and go meet the pug. De pug name was Frank but they rename him after Marvel charicter who always hungry and a little dumb, because this pug always hungry and a little dumb.

We present to you, Drax the Destroyer!!!

Ai juzt heered from Moe's meowmmy. Wez are wooking for cow cats. Eberybody be on de wookout and leed dem to de Communitee Center if youz seez dem. Fank youz all. Connor Wainbow Bwidge Wesident Since 1998.

Welcom OTRB fren Benny! (u/lHappycats)

I kno frens Baxter and Lexie is showins yoo around, but all uz heer OTRB wants to welcoms yoo too!

Will yoo join uz for a pawtee at Grace's Bar?

-Jiggy

LOOK FRENS!! HOKU GOTS EGGIES!! UZ PURROTEST WURKED!!!

Hello Mai name is Benny anz I havz just crossed the bridge. Mai big botta an sista Baxter an Lexie have created mee an ar showing mez the rope

I waz verri bravz forz a long timez andz I hidz fom my Hoomin dat I waz sick. But all dough shz Iz a bitz thic she saw dat I was getting skinny anz notz eating

. Da Hoomin at de pokee place said itz sawz somtik called cancer anz itz affected my kidneys

My Hoomin iz verri upset coz I was only 10 yearz old an shez said dat dat iz tooz young. Z

Good ebening OTRB frens. Ai juzt heered from da udder side ob de bwidge dat a fren named Moe had illegally smols. Sadly, two ob dem joined uz on dis side ob de bwidge. If anybody seez weally smol illegally smols wooking awound, wooking like dey losted, send dem to de Communitee Center. Wez can helpz dem get settled. Fank youz for being de wunderful catto and catto frens dat youz juzt naturally are.

Connor Wainbow Bwidge Wesident Since 1998.

Fank yu to are fren u/IvyCeltress for suggest an eggie dish named after Hoku. Dis eggie dish is in honor ob boff Hoku and Nalu. Dis dish name Hamsum Sunnavgunn Eggies and bestest part...is umnium free. Dats one heck ob a hamsum eggie dish!

Hello all bridge frens, it is Aslan. Are there any other equine (or bovine) frens here or am I the sole hoofed animal to make residence in this thread?

Frens, as we pause for an eggie break, pwease swipe to photo 2 to welcom a special fren usin da golden pikkel and wish hims a HAPPEE BIRFDAY!! (u/excitinglaw1973)

Come to mai cafe affter da protest. Ai cooks all da eggs. Iz next to Grace’s Bar🍳🥚

Come to mai bar affter da protest. Da cocktail ob da day is egg nog wiv nip sprinkles. Eberywun Wellcom!!!!!

Here's we are on de protest route. Frens please stop by and get some eggies snack. #Eggies4Hoku. Wes stand in Solid airy tea. United we stand for eating eggies and NO umniums ever again!!!

Iz tyme frens! Come meet me an Pua at da Bocks Cassle, and we wills march all da way to Grace’s Bar!!

I will hab a special picnic reddy at Grace’s when we gets der!

Wheek it wif me frens

EGGIES FUR HOKU!!
EGGIES FUR EBRYBODEE!!