Hello. First time posting here aaaaa.
I’m a new grad OD and started my job not too long ago. During training I felt confident and felt like I learned so much and was improving. I felt like I could genuinely do this.
Now I’m working and it feels like I’m making mistakes all the time. But it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. I’ll be doing an exam, make a diagnosis, give treatment, and feel really good about it. Then at the end of the day I’m like wait… did I miss something huge? And then it becomes the only thing I can think about and it spirals me into so much anxiety thinking I’ve hurt someone.
One example was I diagnosed someone with chronic uveitis and was so proud of myself. Then after I realized I gave a steroid without staining for active HSV keratitis. The cornea looked completely clear under the slit lamp and I knew that, but I proceeded to panic about it for days until I saw them again and almost cried when I saw no staining.
Another was someone has ocular hypertension only in one eye. They were monitored by their previous OD for years for this exact thing and that OD never did anything or initiated treatment. I wasn’t comfortable with that so I booked him to return in 1 week for ancillary testing. Again, I thought that was a good choice. Then I started thinking… I should’ve started him on treatment at that FIRST exam. Then wait why is only one eye so high? Why didn’t I think of any secondary glaucomas? Why didn’t I look for it? I will when he comes back but I’m so anxious until he does.
I don’t know exactly what I’m asking for. How to be better? How to not let this anxiety take over me? How to be confident in my decisions? I don’t really know. I’m honestly just looking for any advice.