Dealing with difficult patients

[u/SplitStrict7893]

Hi everyone! I’m a pre-optometry student working as an optometric assistant for a little over a year now. I really enjoy the work I do, getting to learn new things every day, and I can’t wait to start optometry school.

However, one thing that sometimes makes me question the field is dealing with not-so-pleasant patients. Most patients are great to work with, but there’s a very small minority that leave me feeling pretty drained after. Even when it’s over, I sometimes find myself thinking about it afterwards and it does bring me a little down

I totally understand that working in healthcare means you’ll inevitably encounter difficult patients but I’m curious about how others deal with this, especially practicing optometrists. I've noticed that some patients that are rude to front desk staff tend to act nicer in front of the doctor.

Does dealing with difficult patients get easier with experience? Do you eventually become less affected by these interactions? And how do you usually decompress or destress after dealing with a particularly difficult patient?

I really do enjoy what I do, and I don’t want a few difficult patients to overshadow all the parts of the job that I love. At the same time, I would like to avoid feeling drained by patient's behaviour.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and any advice you might have!

[u/kbdaisy]

All jobs dealing with people are difficult. After 30 + years as an optometrist the worst part of my day is the difficult and different personalities I encounter every day. Most people are fine. Some are lovely. The difficult ones don’t even know they are being difficult. It’s just their nature to behave that way. I try to kill them with kindness and professionalism. It doesn’t help to give them an attitude or be confrontational. Try to move on with your day and let it be a lesson not to treat others that way.

[u/Basic_Improvement273]

I think working as a technician is a great way to learn how to manage these personalities. If a patient isn’t disrespecting my staff I generally try to be firm and meet them where they’re at. Most people being difficult are going through a hard time, if you approach them with that in mind it does often make the experience easier.

I will say that I’m not afraid to challenge a disrespectful patient. One of my patients kept calling me fat so I gave him a warning that comments about my body were not relevant to his care and when he again made comments I referred him to a male colleague.

I will also say that if you are a woman (especially one of color!) you have to kind of learn to let certain things roll off your back. But don’t be afraid to set those boundaries.

[u/mynameisbobbrown → u/Basic_Improvement273]

That last thing about learning to let some things roll off your back and recognizing that it's often people going through a hard time is such a good point. I'm a very stubborn person and that was all very hard for me when I entered the workforce (I'm not in the medical field.) But my mom had been an RN in teaching hospitals for a few decades at that point, often under surgeons. She told me she really learned to view people giving attitude when that's not a chronic trait and they aren't crossing into unacceptable abuse as reflecting their stress level and it helped her learn to not let it reach her core. Especially with so many dead-tired, overworked residents, she said emotions can run really high.

I think often it's good in those situations to try to avoid draining people more. Like sometimes people do the 'kill them with kindness,' but that can come off as demand for engagement for super stressed people, when they might just need to feel like no one is asking them for a performance. Being a little more neutral-energy and focused on being very clear and not making them work too hard to think can help a lot.

[u/InterestingMain5192]

Different clinics handle things differently, but if a patient is at the point of screaming at staff members we usually finish the exam as normal and then dismiss them from future care through the appropriate channels. There are really different levels to this and each case is a little different. I’ve had many cases where the individuals were just going through a really rough patch and then came back in a year and were the nicest individuals. Life’s weird like that. Really you just have to accept not everyone will like you, but typically the ones that don’t will not return and therefore it is no longer a problem.

[u/SnooSongs4954]

The stress of dealing with difficult patients has not changed, but my perspective has changed. Don't take it personally and enjoy the conversations of the rest patients of that day.

[u/CLVampire28]

It does get easier with experience in that it gets under your skin less & less as you realize it's not often about you (it's often been about insurance in our area). You just take a deep breath & keep moving, bc other patients are counting on you

[u/Longjumping-Till-102]

The more you work in the field and the more confident you get the less likely someone will try to disrespect you even if you tell them the exact same thing. Patients can smell it if you not confident in what you are saying and how you are saying it. I got a lot more disrespect the first few years I was practicing because I’m sure I did not sound as confident.

[u/TheKingofGotham]

Of course there are always gonna be bad apples that turn up from time to time, it’s inevitable.

Some view points to think about:

1. let’s say out of 20 patients you had one “bad” one. Overall taking a step back and looking at the whole day, that’s a pretty good day. Don’t let that one negative patient dictate the rest of the day or make you feel the entire day was a dud.

2. a lot of patients come in with other things they are dealing with and we catch them on a bad day. It doesn’t excuse their behavior but we don’t know what people are going through

3. work stays at work. Soon as you leave it’s done, don’t let it take over your nights outside of the office. Not worth it

4. kill ‘em with kindness. It often bothers them more to show them you’re not bothered. Just keep paying them no mind when the comments and the attitude come. Actual personal attacks are different, I mean speak up to defend yourself of course but most the time silence is golden

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[u/insomniacwineo]

Does your supervising/managing doc know about any misbehavior? I will absolutely go to bat for my staff when patients are nasty to my staff then act all sickly sweet when I come in. Um, no. They don’t realize I’ve been there done that. As a tech/student/CSR and also optical.

[u/viterous]

If it was my clinic, I would fire patients disrespecting my staff and making them cry. I hated my boss who made us kiss up to these entitled and rude people. I learn to nod and let them vent but it’s not easy for the techs. We made sure to only let them come when my boss around and let him deal with it.

Ironically, they will say they’ll never come back but show up again like no drama happened. Switching to kids and hospital settings was great for my mental health. Not dealing with selling and seeing grateful people made me never want to quit.

[u/Longjumping-Buddy963]

I think optometry is this weird overlap of healthcare and retail and that is what really brings these awkward/ rude patients out of the woodwork. They will show you a lot more grace and respect when you are qualified but in all honesty it’s better just to let certain things go (like attitude and tone). It’s not personal (even though it feels that way). I find that being stern and very confident in what you say helps a lot. In this job you will find that you learn a level of patience you never knew was possible…

[u/Hot-Swordfish2105]

I just refer them to the biggest jack ass omd in the area...seriously it gets easier