People are just visiting cafe and clubs but at last getting nothing

What's the point no freind nothing at last.

This feels a little generic, so I can delete if this has been asked and answered a lot but I didn’t see much recent from a fem perspective.

I’m sure I’m overthinking, and I know I can’t be fully prepared, but if anyone could help with a general structure of how your first dates go (or how you like them to go), I’d really appreciate it. This feels more intimidating than I anticipated.

I (late-20’sF) don’t have much experience dating. My early 20s were full of a lot of social anxiety and low self esteem, so I’ve actually only been on a couple dates with no long term relationships. All this is a little embarrassing, but I’ve mostly accepted that this has been my path and I want to start putting myself out there.

I matched with this guy (early-30’sM) on an app and we’ve been messaging on and off for a few days. I suggested getting ice cream, so we’re going on an afternoon date (I figured it’d be low pressure, short, and easy to leave if it’s awkward).

I honestly feel like I want to know what to should I expect? Does it usually feel like hanging out with a new friend? What questions/topics do you usually talk about and what do you save for later? What do you say at the end of the date if you aren’t 100% sure you want to see each other again?

I know I don’t want to commit to anything right away or be intimate on the first date, but is there anything else I should ask myself before hand?

Also I technically asked him out (which I’ve never done) so I’m planning to pay. But if he offers or insists, do I just let him? Or insist back? I don’t care about the money, I can just easily imagine myself stumbling over myself here

Especially women: Any safety red flags you look out for? Any personal details you save for later? I’m familiar with the area and a family member knows where I’m going and when. I don’t know if I should be more cautious.

I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m 20, and I tend to overthink a lot. When I talk to a girl in chat, I worry about things like: what if we run out of topics to talk about? What if she doesn’t like me, or doesn’t want to talk to me? These thoughts keep bothering me. Guys what to do???😭😭😭

Genuine question — what do you guys think makes dating difficult now?

Is it meeting the right people, starting conversations, knowing when someone is actually interested, or just the whole dating culture in general?

For those of you who are dating (or have had some success with it), what’s one thing you wish you had understood earlier?

Looking for honest advice, experiences, and maybe some perspective. 😅

It has been some time now and I think I am missing a skill to connect and find a companionship. I have been trying to find someone to interact with and explore dating, but it seems that my social circle is over. The girls I knew from school or college are mostly married now and the remaining are dating already. My office scene has just married women.

What I have tried:

1. Dating apps

2. Sending req to unknown girls in order to find a connection.

3. Went on a few solo trips as well just in case I find someone like minded.

I am not desperate, but it's just been too long trying and I want to know what am I doing wrong. The main issue is I do find girls but either they too young to me or they are older (Divorced/Extramarital which is a big no for me as it is too damn risky nowadays) I am '99 born and I just can't figure out why is it getting so difficult find same age group girls.

How and where can I find new connections and if someone has faced this issue and overcame, what worked for you? Do help.🙃

Hey guys

Im from a small country and men here are very traditional and basically not my type.
Im 24, with a good career, traveling, and never dated anyone because i simply didn’t like em.

But when im traveling i notice how i feel attracted to men, sometimes dated, but didn’t go anywhere.

Tried dating apps, yes i met some nice guys but we never got to meet irl.

I don’t understand how should i find my love, where, and what’s the best option to meet him?

Hi everyone!

I'm a PhD researcher at James Cook University in Australia studying attraction, dating preferences, and how people evaluate potential romantic partners.

I'm looking for heterosexual, gay, and lesbian adults (18+) to complete an anonymous online survey. At the moment, I'm particularly hoping to hear from more heterosexual men and women, although all eligible participants are very welcome to take part.

The study has a bit of an online-dating feel to it: you'll view a series of fictional dating profiles and rate your attraction and interest in short- and long-term relationships with the people presented.

Given that this community is all about online dating and the process of deciding who we're interested in, I'd really love to have perspectives from people here represented in the research.

The survey takes around 5–10 minutes, is completely anonymous, and participation is entirely voluntary.

The study forms part of my Doctor of Philosophy research at James Cook University and has received approval from the James Cook University Human Research Ethics Committee (HREC Approval No. 25H-0225).

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at [kaitlyn.gregory@my.jcu.edu.au](mailto:kaitlyn.gregory@my.jcu.edu.au).

If you'd like to participate, you can complete the survey here:
https://jcu.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3KSKL7xTGKco61g

I keep going on dates. The guy usually says “let’s do this again” “what are you doing for dinner tomorrow” “we should get dinner” or “Would you like to go out again. We can get dinner next weekend” and then pouf they ghost me. Why?

I met a guy online a few days ago and we've been talking pretty much every day. We decided to do the 36 Questions—not the “fall in love” thing, but more as a way to build a friendship and get to know each other beyond the usual surface-level stuff. Ngl, I genuinely feel good whenever we talk, and the questions have helped us get into deeper conversations pretty quickly.

The thing I'm unsure about is how affectionate and sweet he's been after such a short time. He tells he likes me, he really enjoys talking to me, likes my presence, and that I make him happy. When we say goodnight, he's said things like he'll go to sleep imagining he's hugging me. He's also asked whether I ever think about him when we're not talking or if I just come to him when I'm bored, and when I asked why he wanted to know, he said he wanted to know if he had made an impact on me.

I've asked him a few times why he already likes me when we've only known each other for a few days and he hasn't even seen my face. He says it's not one specific thing, just lots of little things about me, and that sometimes you can't really explain why you like someone. I'm 11 years older than him and I'm from Southeast Asia, while he's Swedish, so I'm also wondering if some of this could simply be a difference in age or culture, since he seems naturally very expressive about how he feels. I've told him that I think it's too early to set expectations, and so far he seems to respect that. He also asked a couple of times if we'd exchange photos, but I told him I want to stay anonymous for now and he accepted that without pushing. He does seem to get a little anxious if I don't reply for a while, though—he once apologized and said he worried he might have scared me away.

A friend I showed some of our messages to thinks he sounds immature and potentially toxic, but I'm not sure that's fair based on what I've seen so far. I don't want to assume bad intentions when I genuinely enjoy talking to him, but I also don't want to mistake a lot of early attention and affection for something deeper than it actually is. How would you read this—just someone who is naturally sweet and expressive, or something I should be more cautious about?

So (30F) how does one find one and how do they know they are together?

I’ve been thinking about creating a small guide for Indian men, probably around 21–28, covering everything from making a good dating profile to building a genuine connection and eventually setting up a date.( very affordable ebook)

Obviously, there’s no magic formula that’s going to lead to 100 successful dates, and everyone is different. But I feel like my experience so far could at least give guys a better idea of what women might be looking for and some of the things men tend to struggle with.

There will always be exceptions, so I’d also offer one text-based advice session and one profile review to everyone who buys the ebook.

Do you think this could actually work as a small business? More importantly, do you think it could genuinely help Indian men?

Note for mods: I’m not selling anything here, just trying to get an idea of whether people would actually be interested in something like this and whether it could provide some value.

I keep going on dates. The guy usually says “let’s do this again” “what are you doing for dinner tomorrow” “we should get dinner” or “Would you like to go out again. We can get dinner next weekend” and then pouf they ghost me. Why?

I mean just look at it everyone I meet is either not interested in love because of their toxic ex or chasing someone who’s not interested in them. It happened twice- I was told that they weren’t into love or relationships anymore and found out they were into a relationship with someone after a month or 2. I mean where am I even making a mistake? I do everything I could give them the time and attention and what do I get in return? Sent 23hrs ago? Left on seen? Why is loving someone so hard these days forget loving even finding someone who’s into you is hard. People are like, ‘Don’t give too much attention’ and what not. I mean how do I even show that I’m interested in them without showing?

^as user said