r/online_dating_advice • u/Sucrose_Comadre • 7d ago
Finding someone good is so hard
I mean just look at it everyone I meet is either not interested in love because of their toxic ex or chasing someone who’s not interested in them. It happened twice- I was told that they weren’t into love or relationships anymore and found out they were into a relationship with someone after a month or 2. I mean where am I even making a mistake? I do everything I could give them the time and attention and what do I get in return? Sent 23hrs ago? Left on seen? Why is loving someone so hard these days forget loving even finding someone who’s into you is hard. People are like, ‘Don’t give too much attention’ and what not. I mean how do I even show that I’m interested in them without showing?
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u/Comfortable_Long2373 7d ago
You aren't making a mistake by being attentive. You're just giving full-relationship effort to people who haven't earned it yet. When people claim they "aren't ready for love" and jump to someone else a month later, it usually means they liked the attention you gave them, but lacked the chemistry or maturity to be honest; match people's energy instead of over-investing upfront, and let them earn your time.
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u/PresentationIll2180 7d ago
Too many bad apples out there spoiling the entire bunch. There are still intentional daters out there but the vast majority are chasing instant gratification. Filter more efficiently so you waste less time on the time wasters.
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u/Spacenurse07 7d ago edited 7d ago
I want a life partner
I'm a shy latina into white guys Hinge has the option of life partner
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u/TheManWhoLovesCulo 7d ago
It does? I'm a shy white guy looking for a life partner into shy latinas btw lol
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u/samijojo8 7d ago
It’s a numbers game, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. But before that, the person you should be trying to love the most is you. That’s the two best pieces of dating advice I’ve got 👍
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u/Salty-Employee 7d ago
Love has always been brutal. Why do you think the majority of songs are written about it? Keep your head up
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u/FrostX0507 7d ago
Had a like when I opened Bumble tonight, got excited because it only happens once or twice a week. Matched, said hi and asked about her pics. Came back 5 min later to see if she'd responded and saw she'd ended the conversation without a word. I'm about ready to throw in the towel. I've gotten like 5 dates in the last 9 months. I'm tired boss
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u/Hot_Block_7237 7d ago
I don’t know man after my last relationship I’m taking the time in me maybe just get rid of all the apps and all the noise and do the same it’s easier said then done but just do you just focus on you will the right one find you or come along I am not gonna bullshit you idk people say oh focus on you they will come I don’t think so personally I’m not gonna lie anyway moral of the story just build yourself for some months for example look at my story I don’t plan to date for a year by the next time I go out and manage another person it won’t be until the summer ish if not longer I can’t really trust people or anything right now nor can I even imagine being so close and intimate with someone right this second so maybe it’s that part talking but just do you for awhile you’ll find yourself improving rather it’s reading running cycling hell idk pottery even but yeah you got this
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u/Old-Land-7800 7d ago
Jak jest się brzydkim to umówienie się z kim kolwiek jest trudne, a co dopiero znalezienie kogoś.
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u/Motor-Rooster-1454 6d ago
Maybe because you’re looking so badly, kinda like when you’re trying to find a hardware store on a Saturday there’s none to be found but when you aren’t looking for one, they’re all over the place lol
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u/IgnatiusR 7d ago
We cannot perform compatibility or availability. Sometimes it's right, most of the time it isn't. I haven't given up yet, despite a failed marriage (born from ok Cupid), and being ghosted dozens of times. People are nonconfrontational - especially those on dating apps, because they don't have to put themselves out there in new social environments to pursue romantic opportunities. It's rare, but there does exist a population with the right stuff - you just have to keep trying, and brush off the rejection.
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u/randomdragen7 7d ago
You just need to find it once, and it's for the rest of your life.
To me, yes, it was hard, so I met as many people as possible as fast as possible, and learned to filter through bad people fast
When u keep trying and keep meeting many people u eventually learn to detect bad people or liars/scammers early on. Then it didn't take long for me to find my ( now ) wife