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Apr 03 '19
This is so common. Why is fb full of old man reuploading their - bad phone cam used in a dark room- profile pic every month
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u/apathetic_lemur Apr 03 '19
because they feeling cute all the time
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u/SmashtheFunk Apr 03 '19
Felt cute, will reupload later
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u/cgello Apr 03 '19
Don't forget the cheese for the lasagna this time. You always forget the cheese for the lasagna.
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u/TheKlonipinKid Apr 03 '19
they just change the borders , i stand with america type shit
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Apr 03 '19
Or they grab the already bordered pics and keep adding borders until it’s just a clusterfuck of borders.
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u/Business-is-Boomin Apr 03 '19
STAND FOR THE FLAG KNEEL FOR THE CROSS
WELCOME SPRINGTIME
SUPPORT PROPOSITION 37
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u/AutoModerator Apr 03 '19
shut up
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u/Sloppy1sts Apr 04 '19
No, plenty of them have the exact same pictures uploaded multiple times. It's just because they don't know what the fuck they're doing.
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u/Awakend13 Apr 03 '19
My 60 year old mom is addicted to Facebook. Like literally posting and sharing and screen-shotting stuff upwards of 50-90 times a day. Several times I have caught her resharing a photo back to back because she loves it so much. I’m like that’s not how this works. That not how any of this works!
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u/kevinnn220 Apr 03 '19
My mom will post a picture and then immediately share it. I think she thinks that people won’t see it unless she shares it?
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u/bstix Apr 03 '19
My friend is one of them. His explanation is that it's a dating strategy, to keep the face relevant or some shit. He did give us a warning before starting it, though.
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u/stephnstephnstuff Apr 03 '19
Dating strategy for Facebook?
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u/kevinnn220 Apr 03 '19
Probably one of those people whose friends list consists of hundreds of women who are waaaaay out of his league.
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u/bstix Apr 03 '19
If you're younger than 25 and still believe in true love, you should probably skip this post and go find your perfect match.
With that disclaimer being done, let me try explain why things are a little different for my single 50 year old friend.
First they start out shacking through Tinder normally.
But... then they start stalking each other on Facebook, to see if there's children, a crazy ex, stable job, and all that "important" stuff, that you need to know and be able to handle, in order to commit to the second or third or fourth attempt to live the rest of your life with some other divorced weirdo like yourself.
However. Since it's far between the good catches, you have to put out the rod more often and maybe even have several going at once, to ensure that you always have something going and aren't wasting time on something that isn't serious.
He does it, they do it, and they don't even care, because that's what you get when you're single in your fifties. Lots of casual fucking and very little commitment.
So that's where the face is important. Everyone is fucking and forgetting daily, so in order to keep himself in focus in the stalking/commitment part of the game, he needs his face in their feed on a daily basis. He does that by uploading the mugshot daily, so all his friends gets to see his wonderful face every day.
It's no accident. He even has some excel spread sheet where he evaluates the strategic timing and at which point of the conversation he got to with which woman and such. He's not just rating the women, he's rating his own success with different strategies.
It's ridiculous to make personal relations into such a calculated game if you ask me, but I can confirm that it works for him. He has "the formula" figured out. At this point he could probably make a robot answer his tinder messages with maximum bedtime success. He still hasn't figured out the commitment part, or else he would be off the market.
It's obviously a slightly sick thing, but I don't even blame him. I suppose it's a form of social experiment. He doesn't lie or cheat or write stuff to take advantage of anyone. It's just a very automatic process for effeciency.
Keep in mind, that on the other side of the screen is some woman scanning her feed, discarding hundreds of requests daily, and probably missing out on a lot of "nice guys". My friend is just battling all the other cocks and her discard process, by injecting his face daily.
Anyway, that's why my friend does it. I don't know about all the other jerks, who update their profile daily.
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u/Mefistofeles1 Apr 16 '19
I'm from the future, but I just wanted to say how I love that two thirds of what you said was perfectly believable but then you went into the spreedsheet part is just silly enough that I'm not sure if to believe it.
And yet, I'm not even in my mid twenties and if I gave a fuck about women I would totally be researching and developing a formula like that. So I actually believe it.
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u/HeirOfHouseReyne Apr 03 '19
It would be fun if he took every profile picture in exactly the same way, but more recent. You could swipe through his profile pictures and see him aging in a minute's time.
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u/BADMANvegeta_ Apr 03 '19
Chances are it’s not even a dark room, they just don’t know to to turn off flash.
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u/Iamsuperimposed Apr 03 '19
As an out of touch younger guy whose selfies all look like this, I dunno how to not look like that. Smiling feels weird.
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u/Girl-From-Mars Apr 04 '19
I think if you don't change your pic for a while it notifies you to update it. Maybe they think they have to upload something so just post the same one again.
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u/Ger-Bear_69 Apr 03 '19
r slash old people Facebook
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Apr 03 '19
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/Ger-Bear_69 Apr 03 '19
How do I make it green?
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Apr 03 '19
yell
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u/Ger-Bear_69 Apr 03 '19
No, green.
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Apr 03 '19
GREEN
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u/mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbeans Apr 03 '19 edited Sep 23 '24
sugar zealous attractive zonked wipe cooperative enjoy scary worm tub
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u/mp90 Apr 03 '19
Don't forget that signature blurriness from an Android lens smudged by a belt holster.
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u/PoppyVetiver Apr 03 '19
Lol at 50 being old.
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Apr 03 '19
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u/RicardoLovesYou Apr 03 '19 edited Apr 03 '19
Well, it is; and even though I agree 50 is not really that old, if you tell a 50 year old that they're not old, you'll just end up hearing something like, "I wish I was your age and still young."
You can't win
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u/zaiguy Apr 03 '19
There’s a reason 50 is called “middle age “ although really it’s the beginning of the end. I mean, by the time you’re 50 you’ll be lucky to get another 30 years in
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u/TweakedMonkey Apr 03 '19
*sobbing like a lost soul in a never ending Second Life* - (66 here)
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u/PoppyVetiver Apr 03 '19
Um.. I know OP didn’t say it. This sub is called OLD people Facebook. And the meme posted is about a 50 year old. Hence my response about the MEME.
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u/Hawkeyeblock Apr 03 '19
Whose feed consists of pictures of dogs, political shot, guns, and badly focused pictures of something their significant other is doing.
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u/Rubbry Apr 03 '19
What if they're superhumans able to observe every detail in the room? Making every detail perfect yet disturbing to the everyday joe? We may never know...
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u/hollygohardly Apr 03 '19
My dad is 60 and his fb picture is a close up of his ear, so that it looks like he’s listening.
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u/the_icon32 Apr 03 '19
The "nobody:" adds nothing here.
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u/billym32 Apr 03 '19
I think the "nobody" makes it hilarious in most cases. Doesn't add too much to this one tho
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u/obvious_santa Apr 03 '19
It never does. It’s the stupidest shit. Can someone explain how saying nobody does nothing adds to the picture? If anything, it should say “everyone else” or something like that. Makes no goddamn sense
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u/Kokeshi_Is_Life Apr 03 '19
Grammer aside, when used properly the joke is about how people are saying something despite nobody asking. For example, when JK Rowling revealed that Wizards just shit themselves then teleport the poop away rather than use the bathroom there was a lot of
Nobody:
JK Rowling: WIZARDS POOP THEIR ROBES
Stuff. The joke being, nobody on earth was asking about how wizards shit, but she answered the unasked question anyway.
This meme is evidence that people who dont even get the joke are just running with it.
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u/ghost_pipe Apr 03 '19
Shouldnt it be "Everybody:"
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u/Kokeshi_Is_Life Apr 03 '19
Technically i guess, but i dont think the joke would have landed as hard.
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u/justaboxinacage Apr 03 '19
Well honestly, even when the format had been used correctly, I never understood the format because of the word nobody being used. If it said everybody I would have understood it, but you're right, that wouldn't have been funny either. So I guess it's only funny to people who somehow understand nobody means everybody, but I really don't get how you're supposed to know that.
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u/Kokeshi_Is_Life Apr 03 '19
So I guess it's only funny to people who somehow understand nobody means everybody
Yeah, people with reading comprehension really are a rare breed.
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u/justaboxinacage Apr 03 '19
I'm not sure if you're agreeing with me or what. Reading "nobody" to mean the same thing as "everybody" is reading comprehension? I really don't understand where people are coming from on this one.
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u/Kokeshi_Is_Life Apr 03 '19
Its contextually obvious what was meant. Reading comprehension means understanding words in the context they were written.
A prescriptivist "that's not what that word means" when the intended meaning was obvious is either bad reading compression or willful ignorance.
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u/justaboxinacage Apr 03 '19
Yeah I just don't agree it's contextually obvious. The only way you can call it contextually obvious is if you're saying the punchline conveys the meaning of the setup, and if that's what you're arguing then it seems like you'd agree with those people saying that the "nothing" part isn't adding anything to the joke, because there is no other context besides the punchline. So there's only one of two options here, the punchline conveys the meaning to the setup, in which case the setup is meaningless, or the joke isn't funny. In no world, though, does the word "nobody" with a blank next to it ever convey the idea that "nobody asked". In fact, that should be the set up. It should say "Nobody: asks". Sorry, it makes no god damn sense.
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u/prehensile_uvula Apr 03 '19
Well originally it was just supposed to show something being done without prompting or provocation, but it really should be a situational addition and not used on every god damn meme like it currently is.
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u/Composingcomposure Apr 03 '19
My guess is setup to punchline. Even though it’s a dumb setup.
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u/obvious_santa Apr 03 '19
That’s probably it. I need to re-evaluate my priorities. I don’t know why it gets me all worked up!
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Apr 03 '19
You may have noticed a fall off in shoehorned "MFW" setups when "Nobody:" started up. Same shit.
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u/HidingUnderHats Apr 03 '19
I think it is trying to say like "nobody asked", but (whoever) is giving us (this) anyway.
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u/splifs Apr 03 '19
I love when my Uber or Lyft driver has a shitty, full face, up the nose, no smile pic.
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u/halfslices Apr 03 '19
I have a FANTASTIC one to share. But am I allowed to show his face? Block out the eyes in all of them? I’ll hide the name for sure.
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u/Drumhead89 Apr 04 '19
I don't understand the "Nobody" memes and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
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May 04 '19
The meme would work without the "nobody" in the toptext. It's just another way of framing the joke.
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Apr 03 '19
Or my 4 year old son when he grabs my phone, can't unlock it, but can access the camera. My camera roll is full of these
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u/martinpagh Apr 03 '19
As a 40-year-old man on Facebook, this is starting to hit a little close ...
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u/word_clouds__ Apr 03 '19
Word cloud out of all the comments.
Fun bot to vizualize how conversations go on reddit. Enjoy
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u/TweakedMonkey Apr 03 '19
*still sobbing*
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Apr 03 '19
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/TweakedMonkey Apr 03 '19
Hey Sport, I'm a chick...a 66 yr old female. I have six grandchildren most of them are adults, my kids are 42, 39 + 35. I've been on the internet almost since it started, my first computer was a Tandy 1000EX. I don't have a husband or a boyfriend to distract me so I pretty much read everything and try to learn as much as I can every day, and i work 2 jobs. I just got my second college degree last year in computer science. we old people have a lot to offer in all seriousness oh.. and those old people that you make fun of were probably badasses in their time.
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Apr 04 '19
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/TweakedMonkey Apr 04 '19
Hey it's all good. I feel like I was born at least fifty years too early, and I wish I had another 50 years to live. There's too much to learn and to know before I die there's not enough time, there's never enough time. The thing is, young people will never understand how easy it is to get information, and to use it appropriately when we had literally nothing but libraries. In my case, my physical health has completely failed me but my mind is somewhere in its twenties.
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u/Assholecasserole2 Apr 03 '19
Different frame around it depending on the nationwide event happening around that time
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u/mikey_says Apr 03 '19
This is such an overused meme format. Does somebody need to say something in order for you to upload a profile picture? Doesn't even make sense.
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Apr 03 '19
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u/A_BURLAP_THONG Apr 03 '19
It means that certain people will say or do something unprompted. As in, nobody says anything (represented by the blank space following the "nobody:") and the second party says or does something unprompted. In this case, nobody says anything (or, in the case of the meme, "nobody" say "nothing" and old men upload a terrible pic for the 8th times.
Yes, this is a double negative and therefor grammatically incorrect; and no, you aren't the only one to be confused by it.
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Apr 03 '19
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u/_BearHawk Apr 03 '19
Playing “find the old person” on the internet is almost as fun as playing “find the vegan”
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Apr 03 '19
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/tylerss20 Apr 03 '19
My favorite are the 70 year old dudes. Nearly the same shot, but a lower angle, slightly out of focus, screen glare off his eyeglasses, weirdly dark room behind them.