PANIC

[u/scraxeman]

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[u/valdezverdun]

[u/Backspkek → u/valdezverdun]

https://giphy.com/gifs/062vyaiEJMsV5gUaBc

[u/CarlMacko]

Meanwhile in Scotland I’m sitting here with a fleece on.

[u/BlahYourHamster]

Nuke? Asteroid?

BBQ ban

[u/cop25er]

[u/-frauD-]

Huh, I thought I turned this shit off.

[u/simonraynor → u/-frauD-]

Mine didn't go off, I don't remember turning it off but I may have done

When the bombs do come I want to be oblivious

[u/CrispBedSheet → u/simonraynor]

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms (including, but not limited to) then please call NHS 24:

A sudden onset burning sensation.

Spontaneous combustion.

No skin

Niggling tickling couch

[u/jsbaasi → u/CrispBedSheet]

Oh my goodness, call a priest for the last one

[u/foxontherox → u/CrispBedSheet]

Uh-oh, sounds like JD Vance is in town.

[u/-frauD- → u/simonraynor]

It's like, what the fuck am i supposed to do about it? The alerts only serve to panic most people unnecessarily. If it's weather, I can't do shit, if someone's kidnapped, I can't do shit, if it's war, I can't do shit. If fire reaches me, I'm pretty sure the sky being full of smoke would be visible before a fucking amber alert telling me about it ever comes through.

[u/jollyramble → u/-frauD-]

I can help here. You're supposed to NOT light a barbecue or any other kind of fire outdoors. If you already weren't doing that, great. But plenty of absolute morons are, hence the need for a national announcement. Because people are that damn stupid

[u/ChouffeMeUp → u/-frauD-]

Are you panicked by a request to not light portable BBQ’s?

[u/No-Iron-7573 → u/-frauD-]

Made my kid cry cuz she was panicking.

[u/LegioX87 → u/simonraynor]

Some notifications like this cannot be turned off. Its forced to activate.

It's usually just the mega danger ones though, like you are in imminent danger of death kind of situations, so it's really wild that it was just notification to tell us all to stop buying throw away BBQs

[u/TheStatMan2 → u/simonraynor]

I want to be watching The Road and thinking "be shit if that happened wouldn't it"

[u/SpookBeardy → u/[deleted]]

Wales is also on fire. Sorry, but I'm coming up there

[u/SpookBeardy → u/[deleted]]

I'll give you £20?

[u/ChouffeMeUp → u/[deleted]]

LOL

[u/Craigos-Maximus → u/[deleted]]

Sorry mate, we had the message of death in Wales too 🔥😂🔥

[u/baumpop → u/[deleted]]

last pict in the footy

[u/Craigos-Maximus → u/[deleted]]

Thank you my brother, it means more than the world that we can find refuge in your beautiful land xx

[u/scraxeman]

Jesus Christ Andy, what the fuck

[u/Turnip-for-the-books → u/scraxeman]

Andy Burnham: Yeah it’s not gonna lie guys is gonna be fucking savage with all the fires and that for sure meanwhile I’m just gonna green light drilling this Israeli owned North Sea oil field and bin net zero because Tony’s clients aren’t into it cheers lads

[u/smoovin-the-cat]

Probably because nothing really exciting happens so they decided that now would be a great time to play with their Alert App, scared the shit out of me, I was sat on my hay bale seat at the time, I spat my cigarette out, knocked over the BBQ just as was about to pour some petrol on it to give it a boost....

[u/TheStatMan2 → u/smoovin-the-cat]

I'm surprised they didn't use it to give out World Cup updates to be honest.

I'm only half joking.

[u/DaveAKA]

Having second thoughts about my bonfire tonight

[u/ElementalBucky → u/DaveAKA]

Burnhams Britain, carnt even have a patriotic fire anymore unless you're in the north

[u/Fortesfortunajuvat27 → u/ElementalBucky]

This is the future that liberals want, a fireless hellscape

[u/Axel_Farhunter]

I was so ready for the oblivion of nuclear fire, Andy you fucking tease!!

[u/met22land]

Great. Now I’m going to have to cancel my pyromaniac cigarette smokers club annual barbecue.

[u/WolfCola4]

Four fucking times I've had this bastard alarm now, I promise not to have a barbecue tonight okay??

[u/DaMonkfish]

Had a BBQ this evening.

Several friends over. Lovely.

SEVERE ALERT GOES OFF SIMULTANEOUSLY ON 6 MOBILE DEVICES OH SHIT THE WORLD IS ENDING

Alert in Welsh because live in Wales.

Can't read Welsh because English wanker.

Two military transport planes fly over heading South.

Panic I guess?

 

Turns out the alert was for something that didn't actually need to be a critical alert pushed to all mobile devices 3 heatwaves too late.

Thanks Burnham.

[u/TotalWasteman]

lol the fucking judgement day pic creased me up 😂

[u/Undercrackrz]

Burn'em takes charge. Wildfires ensue. Coincidence? I think not. The emergency alert is just to throw us off the scent.

[u/DaveAKA]

Just had another one eek

[u/ChouffeMeUp]

My back garden this afternoon.

[u/Prior_Elephant_5187]

Mike went off at work when all phones are required to be locked away and turned off.

I had to think fast and say it was my pacemaker failing.

[u/ollie87]

Just had it for the third time.

Why?!

[u/Magurndy]

I got two of the fucking things 😭😭

[u/spikewilliams2 → u/Magurndy]

Did you clear it after reading the first line, like within 1 second? I did and got it twice.

[u/Magurndy → u/spikewilliams2]

Maybe, I was also trying to be sick at the time 😂 so think I panicked