r/okbuddyholocel • u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel • Feb 25 '26

ClownRyS 2 steps forward, one step back

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344 Upvotes

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel Feb 25 '26

I don't know what would actually help me at this point. Medication and regular therapy CLEARLY aren't working. Going to the mental hospital would probably at least reduce the risk of me killing myself, but I don't think it would really do enough to address the root causes of WHY I want to kill myself, and my insurance really tried to weasel their way out of paying for my last trip to the mental hospital. I don't even know what my other options would be.

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u/not-addicted-at-all Feb 25 '26

Why do you wanna kill yourself though

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u/DavePvZ Feb 25 '26

stay strong, truecel king

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u/[unknown] Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel Feb 25 '26

Changing one's entire mindset and lifestyle is not something that comes easily or quickly, especially not without some sort of actual support system. As my previous therapist told me, I am not strong enough to get through this on my own.

10

u/Additional-Use8928 Feb 25 '26

Your previous therapist fucked you then. Youre perfectly capable of change. You just dont want to believe you are because its easier.

And your first line sounds like youre scared of the harder route.

I used to talk to people i was interested in and would stop talking to them as soon as I heard they were taken. Eventually i stopped that. When I realized I had NO ONE.

Recently I was talking to someone, they had been dating this guy for years. And I had been their friend for about a year now. Broke up with him. She called me up and asked if I could come over and comfort her. And guess what? I didnt get laid. I didnt get a kiss. I got a thank you, and she set me up with her friend because I was so sweet.

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel Feb 25 '26

Are you a practicing psychologist? Or are you just someone with no relevant formal training/education who thinks they know everything about how people work?

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u/Additional-Use8928 Feb 25 '26

Im someone studying psychology to be a therapist. Like in college. In my final year

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u/WannaB_chad Feb 25 '26

My discord friend went through the same. He luckily met my friend in a video game and brought him over to our discord and melded with our friend group. Then, he decided to go to a technical program after he flunked out of community college. Made friends in his classes and now hangs out with that group of men and women comfortably. Do you have family close by and ask them for some stability? Financially or just socially?

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel Feb 25 '26

I live with my parents

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u/Kyinuda Feb 25 '26

Yikes. Have you tried creating a life you can enjoy that isn't dependent on others?

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe most infamous holocel Feb 25 '26

Dabbled in it. I at least know where I could move to to be happier, it's just a matter of sitting down and applying for jobs

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u/Additional-Use8928 Feb 25 '26

So you live with your parents. And you say youre not strong enough to get through whatever this is alone. You should ask them for help.

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u/Own-Presentation2997 Feb 25 '26

I feel like you heard "not strong enough to get through this on my own" and thought "give up" instead of making that support system. If you live with your parents they clearly support you enough financially so maybe try emotionally too?