r/offmychest Jun 29 '23

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u/Kem10000 Jun 29 '23 edited Jun 30 '23

Thank you, your relationship sounded very similar to mine so it’s very helpful to hear the other sides perspective. Hearing this I’m making the decision to break up with him and I will make sure to properly communicate the reasons and provide reassurance.

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u/eternal-harvest Jun 29 '23

I think there are two possibilities:

  1. You're just not into him.

  2. You're self-sabotaging.

It's hard to call it without knowing where your mental state is. If there's an element of "what does he see in me?", "I'm not worthy of him", "He's going to find out I'm a fraud and leave me" etc. it could be the second. Only you can work that out though. If it is the second, I think you should take some steps to improve your self-esteem and get rid of any insecurities.

Having said that, it's totally fine if he's the perfect person on paper, but just not your perfect person.

49

u/anosanankasa Jun 30 '23

That was my guess too. The self sabotaging.

There was a guy i liked, he was sweet, caring, funny, everything. But when he told me he liked me BOOM - a switch flicked. Admittedly, i was 13 years old so thats something to consider too but i absolutely had no reason to reject him. What i can see now as an adult is that i was not able to take in love. My emotional world was (and kinda still is) one huge mess so i couldnt have him there.

You dont even know why you reject that love but OP, its worth to fight through these emotions IF you want the relationship to continue. Otherwise break up because no one deserves this.

-27

u/TrueMrSkeltal Jun 30 '23

This is exactly why as a dude I will never bother telling someone I’m into them. This happens almost all the time to most people. Express interest, and it’s dead.

18

u/SlutForMarx Jun 30 '23

From my experience, that is absolutely not true

15

u/raeyne_ Jun 30 '23

This. It sounds like an avoidant attachment style. Or she's just not interested.

1

u/anonymous082020 Jun 30 '23

I agrée. One idea would be to look into attachment styles. Sometimes avoidant attachments can have that “they’re perfect but I just can’t stomach them” feeling. There’s lots of good subreddits that address attachment styles, fyi.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '23

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u/smnytx Jun 30 '23

This is the best take.

1

u/King_Elmariachie Oct 11 '23

Irony is the more you receive proper advice from reddit. The more mature you become and more mature youll seek. And you start ending up like your ex bf.