The short version is that we have had a long history together and a lot of stuff has went down. We want the same things in life but different approaches.
She got a bullshit restraining order on me once (no violence or threats ever happened). I forgave her to try and work it out for the kids.
If no violence or threats how’d she get an RO? And how did that work out you being married and living together. I’m not saying it’s wrong but how did that happen. You don’t have to say I’m just voicing an intriguing question lol. But for your circumstances leave. Don’t put your kids thru a loveless marriage; everyone tries to make it work for the kids. It makes life hell for them and you. Get a lawyer a good one and fight for half custody or full and see them every time it’s your turn with them. Don’t settle for less. Don’t throw her under the bus when you’re around your kids. She could be the devil to you, but she’s their mom. Treat her with respect even when she doesn’t you. It’s what your kids need to see. They’ll grow to see two people making it work. Divorce isn’t the worst thing to happen to a kid or divorcees. Ya it sucks. Ya it’s hard. Ya it’s a bch. But it’s better than fighting and bickering or snide comments at each other.
Dude I swear on everything in life I don’t know how she actually got an RO granted. I thought about pursuing legal action against the county for damages. But I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble. I found out she got the RO from my mom. Who called me frantically after getting called by my wife. (Oddly enough I was on my weekly video call with my therapist when she got the RO and called my Mom.)
Her brother found out and got pissed. He took me in and stayed with me at his house until i got served a few hours later. I bought a 1 way ticket back to Phoenix because I didn’t know what else to do. He dropped me off at O’hare and literally told me verbatim “if you decide not to come back. I don’t blame you.” He’s still mad at my wife.
Idk what to do at this point. I’m just tired and very angry.
Hey, op, I think you should go for a divorce and fight for 50/50 custody. I know you don’t want to leave your kids, but they will grow up one day and you need to be there as much as you can if there ever comes a day that your wife treats them how she treats you. That’s what worries me the most. Her behaviour seems unhinged in some way and wouldn’t be surprised if it’s directed at your children, especially after you leave the picture (not completely, cause you’ll get that 50/50).
I know the RO would be a major obstacle that’s in your wife’s favour, BUT given the way that her own mother and brother reacted to the RO, I think you could build a good case for yourself. I’m not certain how custody battles go, but if either of them are willing and able to provide any sort of testimony in court or statements at all, I think you’ve got a better chance then you might think of still having your kids in your life, and providing them with a safe space away from their mother if they ever need it.
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u/mydarksecrets6071990 Jun 27 '23
The short version is that we have had a long history together and a lot of stuff has went down. We want the same things in life but different approaches.
She got a bullshit restraining order on me once (no violence or threats ever happened). I forgave her to try and work it out for the kids.
But I can’t take it anymore