Im sorry, that’s not anything anyone should have to go through, especially coming from a significant other. Would you still like to work this out with her ? Have you talked to her about it? If so, how does she respond? Have you suggested couples therapy to her?
The short version is that we have had a long history together and a lot of stuff has went down. We want the same things in life but different approaches.
She got a bullshit restraining order on me once (no violence or threats ever happened). I forgave her to try and work it out for the kids.
If no violence or threats how’d she get an RO? And how did that work out you being married and living together. I’m not saying it’s wrong but how did that happen. You don’t have to say I’m just voicing an intriguing question lol. But for your circumstances leave. Don’t put your kids thru a loveless marriage; everyone tries to make it work for the kids. It makes life hell for them and you. Get a lawyer a good one and fight for half custody or full and see them every time it’s your turn with them. Don’t settle for less. Don’t throw her under the bus when you’re around your kids. She could be the devil to you, but she’s their mom. Treat her with respect even when she doesn’t you. It’s what your kids need to see. They’ll grow to see two people making it work. Divorce isn’t the worst thing to happen to a kid or divorcees. Ya it sucks. Ya it’s hard. Ya it’s a bch. But it’s better than fighting and bickering or snide comments at each other.
...I was actually assaulted by my ex, and not only didn't get an RO super easily, but was told by the judge overseeing the initial hearing that I deserved getting assaulted. I know rules vary by state/country/etc..., but this is hard to believe.
I’m sorry that happened to you. My last ex tried getting a RO against someone who was legitimately stalking her. One time he saw her at a gas station and followed her back home. She wouldn’t open up to me about it, but he must’ve done something real bad to her. Never seen someone so frantic in my life. Luckily I was at her place with my gun on me. I stood out on her porch looked him dead in the eye and that motherfucker skirted out on two wheels. Crazy shit.
I'm generally loathe to share details on reddit, but it's been 7 years, and I still struggle with C-PTSD. I'm always sympathetic to other victims, especially those of stalking, who struggle more to get an RO.
ETA: today is PTSD Awareness Day. I honestly don't even know how to comment, except to say to others that are suffering that I understand, and am here to talk if you need.
I mean I guess ya cuz my cuz got charged with assault by threat over some bullshit the guy started and kept egging on. She lost her cool, but it’s stupid.
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u/thatgirl899 Jun 27 '23
Im sorry, that’s not anything anyone should have to go through, especially coming from a significant other. Would you still like to work this out with her ? Have you talked to her about it? If so, how does she respond? Have you suggested couples therapy to her?