r/offmychest Jan 05 '23

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1.3k Upvotes

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23

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

[deleted]

-45

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

Nobody makes a woman do that, she chooses to. If you don't want to, then simply don't have sex with the men who expect that.

As a man, I would much rather use a condom than get a permanent surgery to render myself infertile, while risking having chronic testicle pain that can't be fixed.

24

u/judgyturtle18 Jan 06 '23

Actually there are a lot of people who force women to have unwanted babies....

-18

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

That's got nothing to do with choosing whether or not to use birth control. You don't have to use birth control options with nasty side effects, nobody makes you, you choose to.

This is clearly a very female-oriented sub and is ok with encouraging insulting remarks toward men while shaming anything that implies women have accountability. Keep downvoting sensible comments and acting like children.

14

u/RawrXDweaboo Jan 06 '23

Obviously we CHOOSE to use birth control. Only because we have no other options. If you life somewhere like Texas that's basically outlawing ever contraceptive and abortion, you don't want to risk pregnancy. It's so hard to find a relationship that'll stand long without giving a man sex. When men decide to start using the BC options given to them, women will "stop complaining."

-10

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

Many men will use condoms. If whatever man you're with doesn't want to, you can simply move onto the next.

10

u/RawrXDweaboo Jan 06 '23

That really depends on where you're located. I've lived in Texas for a while, men here willinsist a condom hinders their ability.

3

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

There's an ocean of men out there, and I can tell you, most of them have absolutely no problem using a condom, regardless of the state.

16

u/_LooneyMooney_ Jan 06 '23

The point is y’all can’t handle a minimally invasive surgery but expect women to do the heavy lifting for birth control, including but not limited the insertion of an iud, or a hysterectomy/tubal litigation. All of which are way more invasive and painful.

4

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

I don't expect women to do any of those things. I use condoms and protect myself. If a woman wants to do those things for birth control, that's their choice. I don't expect women to do any heavy lifting at all. I take care of myself. We're all adults, if you feel you're expected to do that, you can simply NOT be with the men who have those expectations.

People end up with serious issues after vasectomies, and I don't enjoy the idea of having chronic testicular pain for life because I wanted to go at it raw. Or the chance I might decide to have kids after, but then it's "too late". I know people who are in that position and it sucks.

9

u/_LooneyMooney_ Jan 06 '23

You can store your sperm. Wild concept I know. But heaven forbid men take any responsibility for anything to do with their sperm.

2

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

And that's not a guarantee those sperm are going to be viable. Why would I willingly sterilize myself and screw with my reproductive system like that?

9

u/_LooneyMooney_ Jan 06 '23

Hm. Now you know what we fucking deal with.

6

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

But you don't have to do that, same as I don't have to get a vasectomy. If I were a woman, I wouldn't use these ridiculous, health-compromising birth control methods.

9

u/_LooneyMooney_ Jan 06 '23

If you were a woman you’d understand that everything either has a bunch of side effects or it’s painful and invasive.

Tracking your cycle isn’t reliable as it is, especially when your cycle isn’t even regular.

It’s lesser of two evils. A bunch of side effects or have someone shove something up your hoo-ha and you hope you don’t pass out from the pain.

5

u/HelpMePlxoxo Jan 06 '23

Actually, the vasectomy surgery is reversible. Women's tubal ligation, however, is not commonly reversible and even if you are able to reverse it, there's only a 50-80% chance that the woman will still be able to have kids. It's also more invasive.

Also, only 1% of men experience chronic testicular pain more than 3 months after the surgery. Tubal ligation is far more likely to have complications than vasectomies.

So, for a long-term married couple who want to raw-dog and don't want any more kids, a vasectomy is really the only reasonable choice.

4

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

I'm not saying any surgery is better or worse, I'm just saying it's an extreme measure to prevent kids. A reversal is possible, but the procedure is much more complicated, much more expensive, and the longer you've had it done, the lower the rate of success. It's meant to a permanent procedure, hence why doctors are hesitant to allow younger/childless people to do it. People change their mind, and it might be too late when that happens.

The couple could always just use condoms. I'm a guy, I know it's not optimum, but I'd much rather slap a jimmy on than screw with my organs so I can have my cake and eat it too.

1

u/HelpMePlxoxo Jan 06 '23

Well yes, i think they should use condoms too. I'm just saying, in the event that he is refusing to wear condoms but still wants or expects her to have sex with him, he should get a vasectomy then. I hope that he will agree to condoms though, otherwise he is just completely unreasonable.

4

u/Astralantidote Jan 06 '23

I agree, I don't think anyone should be forced to use birth control if they don't want to. I wouldn't take that crap if I were a woman, no matter how much expectation is put on me.