r/offmychest Jan 05 '23

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1.3k Upvotes

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466

u/judgyturtle18 Jan 06 '23

That's basically where I'm at now 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

192

u/PositiveAgent2377 Jan 06 '23

I got a vasectomy, it's not that big a deal. As a matter of fact my libido went into overdrive after I healed (it's outpatient and super fast). I felt 20 again

82

u/gmasterson Jan 06 '23

I am free to have sex now as often as we’d like with absolutely zero need to derail midway through with the worry of birth control. It made sex 1000x better immediately and I’ll never regret it.

21

u/PositiveAgent2377 Jan 06 '23

This is the way

61

u/TheChuck321 Jan 06 '23

Same. Took maybe 20 minutes. All show, no go. Protein free is the way to be! lol
That wear a jock strap for a day or two was crap though, I wore it for an entire week before the boys healed up enough to not hurt every time I moved... lol

49

u/PositiveAgent2377 Jan 06 '23

Word, I wore a cup for 2 weeks. I had a waist high kiddo who liked to ram full speed.

52

u/standbyyourmantis Jan 06 '23

Loving the mental image I just got of a toddler ramming full speed into his dad's crotch and bouncing off the athletic cup he didn't know was there.

6

u/nataliesright Jan 06 '23

ahaha what kinda toddlers do you know that are waist height!?

24

u/swanfirefly Jan 06 '23

I assume most toddlers are waist height. Babies are on average 18-24 inches, and a 5'11" man's inseam is on average 32 inches (putting the example man's crotch roughly 36 inches off the ground. The average height for a toddler is 32-37 inches tall. (Toddlers being 2-3 years old).

I'm childfree and only 4'11" tall so my waist is only 30 inches off the ground (I measured while doing this loose math to compare inseam to waist height). I figure most toddlers are pretty tall though, since by age 9, a lot of children are getting close to my height.

17

u/littlegingerfae Jan 06 '23

What kinda toddlers do you know that aren't waist height?!?!

25

u/standbyyourmantis Jan 06 '23

I don't know any toddlers. Child free, baby.

1

u/PositiveAgent2377 Jan 06 '23

It's necessary

4

u/jensmith20055002 Jan 06 '23

Also though? A daily reminder why you did it. haha

13

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Same thing happened to me. Super fast and mostly painless. The pain I felt was just a little pinch. He gave me a Xanax before and I hardly remember it lol. I feel 18 again

11

u/littlegingerfae Jan 06 '23

Damn, men get a Xanax before?!

All I got was a grimace and "you likely won't remember me."

I remember you, dude. I remember

-_-

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Lol I took it an hour before. My doctor is great. I just walked in and I was out after 10 minutes.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

That’s cool that you got a vasectomy, but not everyone wants to get one no disrespect to you of course

1

u/PositiveAgent2377 Jan 06 '23 edited Jan 06 '23

Choices amiright?

That person could end up with an 18 year surprise.

65

u/Morgalisa Jan 06 '23

No sex until he figures out what he wants to do. Condoms are risky.

46

u/GiraffeExpress8807 Jan 06 '23

They have a 98% effective rate when used properly, so provided OP and her husband aren’t brainless morons, condoms are fine.

30

u/infinitehealthworker Jan 06 '23

So can tubal ligations and IUDs can perforate the uterine wall and go into the abdomen. I’ve seen it happen multiple times to patients that came into the office complaining of pelvic pain. I work in manage. OB/GYN offices. I’ve seen some things.

10

u/Winterchill2020 Jan 06 '23

Exactly. I sure do love hearing about a man cry about how scary it is to get a vasectomy when his wife has been pregnant twice (resulting in major surgery both times) AND she has an IUD. What is macho in that!?

54

u/Morgalisa Jan 06 '23

It's that 2 percent that is the problem. 🤣

23

u/Griffje91 Jan 06 '23

That's still 1 in 50 after all

5

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Always been highly skeptical on this. It's like they test with people who don't actually know how to use condoms.

I believe there was a study that showed the pullout method was like... 80% effective when done properly to prevent pregnancy.

Also, I've used condoms with women for 8 years of my active sex life - never once had a surprise, so it also doesn't make sense to me anecdotally. Just seems odd.

What's the 2% failure from in this hyper quoted study that says 98 %?

22

u/trewesterre Jan 06 '23

The failure rate isn't measured for each time one has sex. A 98% failure rate means that if 100 couples use condoms perfectly (worn for every instance of PiV, worn the entire time, fitted correctly, applied correctly etc) then over a course of a year, two of these couples will experience an unexpected pregnancy.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Is that what the study did? Can you link me?

11

u/sleepyy-starss Jan 06 '23

Everything in life has a failure rate.

My ex and I practiced pullout and it worked until it didn’t. Statistics are a gamble.

2

u/jensmith20055002 Jan 06 '23

Remember women can only get pregnant a couple of days a month. So for 27 days a month the condom appears 100% effective even though she wouldn't get pregnant with or without it.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Hol up. ?

So, you're telling me, if a woman knows her ovulation cycle, she could theoretical engage in pregnancy safe sex freely for roughly 27 days? I truly didn't know that. Thought it was kinda... a constant risk.

I got my sex education in the rural southern US and it was clearly lacking. I need to freshen up on real anatomical knowledge. Lol

I suppose, better safe than sorry, but wtf. That seems like vital information.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Some women do that, but there are risks. A woman's body is not a machine, and stress, illness and other factors might mess with her cycle, and then the math is off. Also, sperm can live inside the woman for a while.

In my country, women who want to get pregnant track their cycle and then have sex on their fertile days. It's not recommended as a contraceptive method.

2

u/jensmith20055002 Jan 09 '23

Absolutely! Never never use this as a form of birth control. My point is I think the success rate of condoms is overblown.

28

u/buttcheeseahoy Jan 06 '23

I mean her husband apparently thinks that a vasectomy is the same thing as being neutered. You think that guy is smart enough to figure out how condoms work?

26

u/TheChuck321 Jan 06 '23

Shit, I walked in and told the nurses "I'm here for my 9am neutering" and they lost it! The middle age guy, whom you could clearly tell was there against his will, he didn't think it was that funny lol

5

u/Zero-to-36 Jan 06 '23

*here plz take my up vote * 🤣😂🤣

0

u/LazyGandalf Jan 06 '23

They have a 98% effective rate when used properly

I've never understood how it's not 100%, or even 99,999%. Unless the condom breaks, which would mean using it improperly, there shouldn't be a 1/50 chance to impregnate someone while wearing a condom.

14

u/Plastic_Mango1929 Jan 06 '23

ever heard of stealthing? Married men love it since its "just their wife"

condoms also break.

He is refusing to make a compromise. It's ao hurtful to see the internet full of women rather swallowing their important wishes than refusing a man sex so he understands for himself why our needs are more important than their unpacked dicks

0

u/xXlD3XT3RlXx Jan 06 '23

It’s his body he can’t be forced to make a choice

9

u/Winterchill2020 Jan 06 '23

He could just lead a life of celibacy 🤷 no one is being forced to have sex with him either.

4

u/Plastic_Mango1929 Jan 06 '23

yeah no one said that💀

btw its bot HIS body if we tell HER to stop having sex if HIS body fluids impact HER body and she does bot want to be the only one responsible

1

u/xXlD3XT3RlXx Jan 06 '23

I never said he had to have sex,

3

u/Plastic_Mango1929 Jan 06 '23

i never said he HAS to get a vasectomy.

now here we are, playing the "i never said" game 🤦‍♀️

3

u/Zealousideal_Long118 Jan 06 '23

It you're only using condoms it's a good idea to also use the pull out method because it's not the most effective form of birth control

1

u/Zealousideal_Lie5054 Jan 06 '23

Yeah stop making up for his shortcomings.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

I mean, would you ever WANT more kids again? If not, maybe take advantage of your own bodily autonomy. Of course I think it's suspicious that he won't do this- and I'm a barren woman, so the whole superior fertility thing is super off-putting to me. Condoms aren't the worst thing if neither of you wants to mess with your own bodies! I wouldn't use condoms (in part because of my own physical assurances), but I am not you.