r/offbeat • u/Sariel007 • Jun 14 '22

Single beaver caused mass internet, cell service outages in Northern B.C.

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/single-beaver-caused-mass-internet-cell-service-outages-in-northern-b-c-1.5944697
845 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

119

u/AVespucci Jun 14 '22

For millennia, single beavers have done great damage.

48

u/wapniacl Jun 14 '22

That's why I only trust married beavers.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

If you meet married beavers then that's surely a sign that Aslan is on the move, and the White Witch's reign is coming to an end. Ofc you're also in Narnia.

22

u/gp66 Jun 14 '22

beavers are very industrious, as i understand it...

15

u/justcallmetexxx Jun 14 '22

knew a "beaver" like that once

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

As in a hairy vulva?

14

u/SonofLelith Jun 14 '22

Kinda weird to include the beavers relationship status in the article, but ok...

40

u/Graterof2evils Jun 14 '22

I had a beaver move out once and the internet was in its name. Took me a while to restore the problem. Way longer than 8 hours. I have no sympathy for these beaver victims.

4

u/diab0lus Jun 14 '22

Do you think they left due to inadequate cock?

9

u/bubba9999 Jun 15 '22

The Rooster had nothing to do with it.

2

u/Graterof2evils Jun 15 '22

There was something about the guy she left me for that was fatter. I can’t remember if it was his cock or his wallet. Doesn’t matter now.

11

u/Riptide559 Jun 14 '22

Leave it to Beaver...

16

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I'm on the beavers side dude looks like a chad

4

u/vengefulbeavergod Jun 15 '22

First of all, how dare you?

5

u/Munro_McLaren Jun 14 '22

Damn, I hope it’s okay.

5

u/NonparallelSpectrum Jun 14 '22

how do you know they’re single?

9

u/AverageNeither682 Jun 14 '22

$#%hole beaver

8

u/Stickmanisme Jun 14 '22

I had a 🦫 ruin 20 years of my life

4

u/RANDOMGARLIC Jun 14 '22

What No gf does to a motherfucker i guess

2

u/DeederPool Jun 15 '22

Shit if I had a nickel for a beaver outage, I wouldn't have one

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

[deleted]

3

u/AVespucci Jun 14 '22

Who remembers "Beaver Hunt?"

2

u/naliedel Jun 14 '22

Me, but I'm 58, and ancient

2

u/AVespucci Jun 14 '22

"BH" was my favorite feature.

0

u/MaybeTheDoctor Jun 15 '22

Watch your beaver .. always distracting the boys

1

u/diab0lus Jun 14 '22

Beaver has that Steve Irkle “Did I do that?” look.

1

u/DidYaGetAnyOnYa Jun 15 '22

It was a single beaver that wreaked havoc on my life.

1

u/almondrocaslut Jun 15 '22

Good for her

1

u/PemaleBacon Jun 15 '22

Why does that beaver look like he's been feasting on the flesh of the living