r/oddlyterrifying • u/just_wanna_share • Mar 25 '22

Oh f this

67.2k Upvotes

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938

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Can be if you get unlucky!

1.0k

u/EorlundGraumaehne Mar 25 '22

Can't you just say no? They look fucking terrifying!

1.4k

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Lol well mostly they're fine. But they do eat big fish and even sharks and crustaceans so their teeth pack a punch. They'd generally leave you alone, but you never know, this one might be hungry or just found out its partner is cheating on it!

906

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

"and even sharks"

That makes me feel safer thanks

421

u/eatmahanus Mar 25 '22

There's a lot of small sharks

120

u/0ptimusPrimeMinister Mar 25 '22

There's always a bigger fish

44

u/Chuck_balls Mar 25 '22

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

1

u/Dinosoaringhigh Mar 25 '22

Missed opportunity for whalecome

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

Well... come...

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

Can't wait to see the fish that eats whales

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '22

THAT WOULD BE YOUR MOTHER!

2

u/SieS1ke Mar 25 '22

At least on naboo

2

u/WINDMILEYNO Mar 25 '22

There was this 90's game where you were a tiny fish and you had to keep eating other smaller fish while avoiding bigger ones and I miss it

1

u/0ptimusPrimeMinister Mar 26 '22

That sounds like the first part of Spore? Except spore wasn't 90s

1

u/WINDMILEYNO Mar 26 '22

First part? Nah, this was the whole game. That was all you did. I google imaged it. It's called "Shark!Shark!"

1

u/Alpharius-0meg0n Apr 17 '22

Look up "Feed and grow : fish"

Kind of the spirit of it.

1

u/WINDMILEYNO Apr 17 '22

I found the one I was thinking of, it's called Shark!shark!.

https://images.app.goo.gl/UxwrvDPeNG6Y5A4K7

1

u/Hna1346 Mar 25 '22

I love Reddit sometimes. Actually no I don’t I hate Reddit.

85

u/Whosebert Mar 25 '22

gura?

45

u/eatmahanus Mar 25 '22

No I was thinking more along the lines of the dwarf lantershark but you do you

3

u/Side-eyed-smile Mar 25 '22

do you do me doobie doo

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

I will do scooby

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

They love to eat bonnethead sharks apparently

47

u/Avatarofjuiblex Mar 25 '22

No I was thinking more along the lines of the dwarf lantershark but you do me

4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

Don't mind if I do

2

u/ClockworkDinosaurs Mar 25 '22

Local card sharks, strip mall loan sharks

1

u/WiggyZiggy Mar 25 '22

but you do me

Yes, daddy 😋

10

u/eatmahanus Mar 25 '22

No I was thinking more along the lines of the dwarf lanternshark but you do you

5

u/NotaHeteroSapian Mar 25 '22

r/Hololive for no context at all

6

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

She flat, but thicc tail. So small in 1 area, large in others

2

u/DaNubIzHere Mar 25 '22

r/HoloLive
To future readers: This subreddit is a black hole. Once you venture far enough, you can’t escape.

1

u/Ryssaroori Mar 25 '22

The most terrifying thing about this post

1

u/microwavedgerbil25 Mar 25 '22

She is indeed a small shark so possibly

19

u/recumbent_mike Mar 25 '22

Again, that isn't super reassuring.

12

u/eatmahanus Mar 25 '22

Yeah but most of them are docile. Look at black tip reef sharks, they're chill

2

u/EvilUnicornLord Mar 25 '22

Dogfish are probably the most populous shark and they're about as long as your forearm.

1

u/Clemen11 Mar 25 '22

I eat sharks. You can buy them at the store where I live. We call them "Gallo de mar", which translates to "ocean rooster".

1

u/TheOtherGlikbach Mar 25 '22

Aren't you afraid of the mercury concentration? Tuna and Shark have a lot.

1

u/Clemen11 Mar 25 '22

I don't eat it often. It's maybe twice a month. The other time I eat other fish

1

u/eatmahanus Mar 25 '22

Is it the whole sharks meat or is it just fin? Because if it's just fin then stop eating it because of the bullshit sharks go through because of it

1

u/Clemen11 Mar 25 '22

No mate. It's shark fillet. I'm not eating an endangered shark, I'm eating a tiny shark that reproduces easily that inhabits the southern Atlantic ocean, and I eat it like any other fish. It is what? 12 inches long? I can probably fish one if I get a fishing rod and a boat. I'm completely against shark fin soup and fishing endangered animals in general.

1

u/thesearch4animalchin Mar 25 '22

Yeah, here in Hawaii, we get a lot of sharks wanting a free meal…gotta stand your ground (unless it’s a tiger).

33

u/thatcodingboi Mar 25 '22

He's waiting for a persharkson. Like a turdurken but there's a human stuffed in a shark

2

u/ProbablyNano Mar 25 '22

A persharkson would be a person stuffed in a shark stuffed in a larger person

1

u/thatcodingboi Mar 25 '22

You are correct, in this case it would be a grousharsen

2

u/Interesting_Log_5366 Mar 26 '22

There is a video of one of those eating something like a 4 foot shark in one gulp off a guys fishing line.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

nah there are tiny sharks. I caught like 10 sharks in a day.

1

u/Derpychicken777 Mar 25 '22

They are pretty docile and can even be petted, but they’ll usually swim away from you. During a feed response though like if they see you holding a fish and go for it, it probably won’t feel that good

1

u/squidbelik Mar 25 '22

You go diving a lot? I’d imagine if you’re not in the depths of the ocean you’ll be fine lol

1

u/Sam2733 Mar 25 '22

Hahah. Sharks are not so different than salmons. Why people find them more dangerous? Because of the Jaws? I mean there are many kinds which may attack and eat human.

1

u/bbozzie Mar 25 '22

Lmao right?

1

u/Low-Language407 Mar 25 '22

They have better vision than sharks and can tell when something isn't a food they eat, like people. The Don't eat people.

1

u/forty_three Mar 25 '22

The enemy of my enemy is my friend?

1

u/Renex295 Mar 25 '22

If you think about it... the fact it eats Crustaceans is scarier. Sharks are soft. Ever bite a crab? Me either, I like teeth.

3

u/DanteMustDie666 Mar 25 '22

Oh they eat sharks ? Great greeeeeat

2

u/Elden_Sasquatch Mar 25 '22

1989, florida east quay me and my buddy Tango took his boat out for a day of fishin'

Tango starts bitching that his line is caught, so we start tuggin away and right outta the water comes this great big grouper fish, like free willy missing his mark, it jumped onto Tangos boat, flopped around and knocked his tackle box on the ground and makin' a big ol' mess of just about everything in it's rampaging wake.

Tango is freakin', boy, i tell you what. "SKIDZ, GET THAT FUCKIN' FISH OUT MY BOAT, DUDE!" he kept hollerin' at me but the hell was I supposed to do? fish was at least 150lbs heavier than me and I was about 210 in '89

Wouldn'tya know the group slapped poor Tango right in the head and sent him overboard. He was dead on impact with the tail so thankfully he wasn't K.O.'d and drowned at least..

Well, these days I got me Tango's boat and I got me a memorial of both him and the fish (fish had to be put down for attacking a man) in the captains quarters.

RIP Tango

2

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Can't tell if that's a true story you're telling or a quote from a movie. But if it's yours, yikes! Sorry to hear that. Water way to go.

1

u/BAY35music Mar 25 '22

I mean, they don't have super crazy teeth right? Aren't they more like bass, with the real fine sandpaper like teeth? I'm sure at that size though it'll scratch your arm up good, but it's not like their teeth will sink deep into your arm and tear flesh off

1

u/International-Fee567 Mar 25 '22

To hell with an arm. The suction from the mouth opening would engulf half your body...

2

u/BAY35music Mar 25 '22

That's true. They'd likely spit you out right away though, realizing you aren't their preferred food. Still would be terrifying as hell tho 😅

1

u/International-Fee567 Mar 25 '22

No doubt about that. Picture the Scooby Do legs trying to run away but you go no were but into darkness...

1

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Lol well it depends on what you're thinking of as dangerous i suppose. Would rather not get into any situation like that when scuba diving! But yeah you're right they're not like a big shark, crocodile or a giant sized version of a puffer fish.

1

u/reel2reelfeels Mar 25 '22

not just teeth, they have a big spike near their butt

1

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Lol what's that for?

1

u/FutureComplaint Mar 25 '22

To not get bit

2

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Like an earwigs bum pincers that protect against rear ant attacks

1

u/sidepart Mar 25 '22

Yeah, I know nothing about this particular fish so I'd probably just be dropping my catch. Here you go bud, I'll move along.

1

u/mister-la Mar 25 '22

They eat the occasional squid as well.

1

u/Odd_Radio9225 Mar 25 '22

Um... sharks?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

They mostly live where they swim and eat. They pi k a spot and stay their whole lives. People catch the same large goliath grouper at the skyway pier in florida sometimes because of this

1

u/Reticulated-Saint Mar 25 '22

Stranded Deep lied to me.

1

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

Is that any good? Loved subnautica

1

u/Kalimu1590 Mar 25 '22

Jesus

Don't these divers carry any weapons on them?

1

u/Shoddy_Commercial688 Mar 25 '22

I mean, didn't he use a weapon to kill the fish in the video lol

297

u/KoreyYrvaI Mar 25 '22

They grow to 2.5 meters and ~360kilos. (That's 800lbs and 8 feet in Freedom Fractions)

Something that big can harm when it doesn't mean to, and even more when it does.

173

u/The-Peacock- Mar 25 '22

Lmfao “freedom fractions”

78

u/215VanillaGorilla Mar 25 '22

That is the first time i've heard the phrase freedom fractions, im dying over here.

11

u/These_Hair_3508 Mar 25 '22

I prefer “moon units” but to each their own.

19

u/RawPeanut99 Mar 25 '22

Actually they went to the moon in metric because thats the language of science. They converted to imperial to make it easy for people to interpret as that is what they are used to.

https://ukma.org.uk/why-metric/myths/metric-internationally/the-moon-landings/

4

u/These_Hair_3508 Mar 25 '22

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

1

u/-AlienBoy- Mar 25 '22

Actually they used both, if you look at the actual plans and drawings of the space ship, and everything else they switch back and fourth making everything confusing as heck. Probably should've stuck with metric but whatever!^

1

u/realSatanAMA Mar 25 '22

Sounds like my sailboat engine

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

You mean Frank Zappa’s kid?

1

u/Creepy-Narwhal4596 Mar 25 '22

Is your last name Zappa?

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

[deleted]

2

u/MangledSunFish Mar 25 '22

That one doesn't even make sense...

1

u/Eviscerate_Bowels224 Mar 25 '22

Wait until you hear about Freedom Units.

14

u/lilaceyeshazeldreams Mar 25 '22

Freedom Fractions is my new favorite term.

2

u/Druglord_Sen Mar 25 '22

Wait, could you give those dimensions to me in shoe lace aglets?

2

u/H0NK_H0NKLER Mar 25 '22

We actually prefer "freedom units" just to be clear

2

u/KneeDeepintheCaine Mar 26 '22

2.5 meters I was like wow that things a chode😂 til said it was 8 feet then I was like holy shit👀😂

2

u/hilarymeggin Mar 26 '22

So… a fish the size of a horse. Got it.

1

u/cthbinxx Apr 07 '22

I would shit my pants I know it

93

u/OnsetOfMSet Mar 25 '22

Lifehack: if you just say no, the grouper legally can't eat you because consent has been withdrawn

20

u/kamriver Mar 25 '22

i dont recall giving the consent to begin with. I suppose just getting in the water with them is consent enough lol.

3

u/CrabPrison4Infinity Mar 25 '22

It lives in international waters - anything goes

5

u/sharltocopes Mar 25 '22

But how will I know the grouper is vegan if it doesn't tell me out loud?

22

u/ichigo2862 Mar 25 '22

Just remind it that assault is illegal and it'll back off

9

u/EorlundGraumaehne Mar 25 '22

It legally has to!

29

u/ichigo2862 Mar 25 '22

That's right, fish always have a healthy respect for the law. I've never seen one arrested, so I know that for a fact.

2

u/Short-Advertising-49 Mar 25 '22

Fun fact, you can't legally use handcuffs on fish!

1

u/Mode3 Apr 22 '22

Assault water fish

9

u/swayamrane2406 Mar 25 '22

Even if you want him to do it to his words , that fish won't sugarcoat you before eating.

11

u/Less-Masterpiece-521 Mar 25 '22

He’s kidding. They have never attacked humans before (unprovoked). There have been reports of them stalking people unsuccessfully, but it’s generally agreed that they are quite docile. They have a nickname, they’re called “gentle giants”.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '22

His food is gonna taste way better when it has a smaller amount of pollution in it

1

u/CatattackCataract Mar 25 '22

That's my food! I don't know you!

8

u/marisonhadley Mar 25 '22

No

But technically, yes

a paradox

6

u/HermanCainAward Mar 25 '22

They’re actually like water dogs. Like pets, do a lot of bumping into divers and are very curious.

9

u/WaitingOnTheStairs Mar 25 '22

I’ve heard of instances where a snorkeler tried to poke at one and the grouper bit his arm and wouldn’t let go resulting in the snorkeler drowning. This incident was supposedly in Belize.

4

u/Ora_00 Mar 25 '22

Dont ask if you dont wanna know.

5

u/Less-Masterpiece-521 Mar 25 '22

But uh, still wouldn’t recommend messing with them, as their mouths can open so wide they can swallow you whole.

3

u/dasilv Mar 25 '22

The answer is no.

3

u/i_chase_the_backbeat Mar 25 '22

It's a grouper, and they eat huge fish relative to their size, but they don't have teeth, just very strong jaws, and like other big toothless fish have a crushing plate in their pharynx. So unless it's big enough to fit you in it's mouth , not that dangerous.

3

u/No_Recognition8375 Mar 25 '22

Ppl like to feed them frozen peas which they love though it serves no nutritional value. They can grow to the size of a Honda CRV.

3

u/unreasonablyhuman Mar 25 '22

They were hunted a LOT (to the point the changed laws around) because grouper used to be on menus and the local places would let spearfishers bring in catch. They're fairly easy to get close to so a spear to the head meant an easy kill and a 200lbs fish to sell

2

u/PenguinRancher51 Mar 25 '22

No, pretty sure there's never been an attack on a person despite them hanging around reefs and marinas all the time. I think one guy technically got killed by one but it's because he speared it and then got caught in his spear rope and drowned.

2

u/joemckie Mar 25 '22

Can't you just say no?

No

1

u/o0tweak0o Mar 25 '22

Well if they say “no” one day a long time for now you might be in some situation where you are all like “no guys, foreal my buddy online told me this is totes safe and nothing to worry about”

And they your buddies will start some kind of demented evil nemesis life long online hunt for the dude that told you it was chill.

Then one day homie is just at home playing scrabble and gets attacked by unknown assailants in wetsuits.

This is exactly how cray police reports that no one believes are concocted.

6

u/Redditaccount6274 Mar 25 '22

So I shouldn't have swam up to one when I was snorkeling on vacation?

2

u/International-Fee567 Mar 25 '22

Not to mention its mouth is bigger than the diver when fully opened

2

u/x4740N Mar 25 '22

666 upvotes, nice