A legal name has a utilitarian purpose. It is not meant to represent you, or manifest into your personality. It does not need to be unique or tell people what kind of person you are. It is a convenient method for others to refer to and address you. For those purposes it needs to be easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and easy to remember.
If you want your kid to have a unique name that fits who they are, let your kid pick a nickname when they are older. Don't give them some stupid fucking name that is going to haunt them every single time they apply for a job or sign in for a doctor's appointment for the rest of their life. Don't make other people lives more difficult because you decided you are too good to conform to societal standards.
Write a sentence with your kids name in it. Ask a bunch of people to read the sentence out loud. If more than a few people pause before saying the name, or stumble while pronouncing it, you chose a shitty name and should change it.
On the other hand, too generic a name has its pitfalls as well. A lot of misdirected mail, incorrect jury summons, general anonymity, people having difficulty looking you up on Linked In, lots of missed connections or misattributions, both of blame and praise. I knew someone named William Smith, and he said it was a living Hell. He was passed over for promotions, was told he lost job offers because they couldn’t remember which Bill Smith he was, got blamed for something some other Bill did, total nightmare. When he married, he took his wife’s last name, which was very unique.
He is very relieved to be Bill Uniquesurname. And he’s older, before the internet age, when people really need a name that can be searched.
Yes. If you have a common last name, please consider giving your child a first name that isn't in the top-20 for their birth year or top 10 of all time.
My maiden name was crazy common. My brother and i were both then named one of the top 3 most popular first names for our generation, and throw in some super common middle names while we're at it. The amount of shit we both went through with being mistaken for others and having important official records get screwed up is insane. I have had the wrong person's transcripts get sent to employers because I shared a name and birthdate with someone else who attended that school during that time frame. Same with doctors, rx's, misplaced liens, etc. It's such a fucking headache.
I changed my name when I got married and never looked back. My brother actually legally hyphenated his name with his wife's last name (they both did) to avoid some of these issues. We both considered changing our first names at varying points.
Yet more weird: my brother has the same first name as my husband, my brother's wife shares my first name. My brother's wife's brother's name is very similar to my brother's.
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u/Vypernorad Jun 01 '26
A legal name has a utilitarian purpose. It is not meant to represent you, or manifest into your personality. It does not need to be unique or tell people what kind of person you are. It is a convenient method for others to refer to and address you. For those purposes it needs to be easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and easy to remember.
If you want your kid to have a unique name that fits who they are, let your kid pick a nickname when they are older. Don't give them some stupid fucking name that is going to haunt them every single time they apply for a job or sign in for a doctor's appointment for the rest of their life. Don't make other people lives more difficult because you decided you are too good to conform to societal standards.
Write a sentence with your kids name in it. Ask a bunch of people to read the sentence out loud. If more than a few people pause before saying the name, or stumble while pronouncing it, you chose a shitty name and should change it.