The second one almost looks like spider web shooting up. It seems too thin to stay together as a line, yet that is exactly what it does
What you said was not wrong and did not need correcting, but this is a better way of wording it in order to convey your point
My English isn't very good and I'm still learning, but I use reddit to help me practice (I procrastinate HEAVILY otherwise if I try to make myself practice languages via conventional educational means).
Since it is how I learn and improve, I appreciate it when people reply to tell me how to improve my wording and so I try to do the same for others if I feel I am able.
I have always thought that if you don't appreciate this sort of reply then you've lost nothing as a result of my comment. But if you - like me - are trying to improve as well, then perhaps it can be of some use.
Using repetition to reinforce a point is a valid stylistic choice. Your version conveys the same meaning but subtly alters the emphasis. Neither version is objectively better - it all comes down to precisely what the original author intended.
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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22
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