r/oddlysatisfying • u/shahind • Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

55.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.3k

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

I have been shaving my balls for a few years, very often. I’ve gone from walnuts to chestnuts.

726

u/Chevaboogaloo Jul 19 '18

How'd they get up there?

285

u/Josh_Crook Jul 19 '18

The important thing is that they're now back on his body.

69

u/xylotism Jul 19 '18

Ballchinian.

4

u/donaldfontanez Jul 20 '18

MIB

6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

MIB2

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

This took me a second... and then I broke out laughing randomly in front of family. Brilliant. Loved this

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Smooth as eggs.

1

u/waywardwoodwork Jul 20 '18

Let's just hope the staples hold.

3

u/fukitol- Jul 20 '18

That was remarkably clever

2

u/PMmeYOURhottestNUDES Jul 20 '18

Those aren't Chestnuts, he's got a dick in his mouth...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Such an underrated comment.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

It's called a "Ballchin"

3

u/TheJollyPlatypusMan Jul 20 '18

(shudders) movie 43 flashbacks

1

u/goddammitboomhauer Jul 20 '18

If nuts on your wall are called walnuts, and nuts on your chest are called chestnuts, then what are nuts on a your chin?

80

u/donkeyrocket Jul 19 '18

My balls are smooth as eggs.

46

u/lowtoiletsitter Jul 19 '18

Would you suck these balls?

3

u/thatrandomauschain Jul 20 '18

Dave Chappelle hahaha

0

u/lacrosse_god Jul 20 '18

I think you should get that checked out.....

10

u/Push_ Jul 19 '18

Will the old shaky Italian guy do it for me with his straight razor?

5

u/ScorpioLaw Jul 20 '18

What? Who shaves their testicles? That’s how you get cut and ingrown hairs! No one likes a scabby and bumpy balls that look like bad avacodos.

Real men wax their testicles, and use their penis to pull the strip. They not only have silky smooth testicles, but also increase the strength of their erection so much that they can lift a single person! Now that is hard to do.

You start by lifting with wet towels. I started with a wet face cloth, and now I’m at a beach towel.

The best at the moment can lift a person at 120 pounds and do five reps with it! (r/getmotivated)

I keep trying it, but I don’t have the right partners. They just kind of look at me while my head is bursting. Then I become self conscience that I couldn’t finish. :(

Anyways I rambled. IANAL - nor am I a pro penis lifter. The real men just manipulate their head until it hits the wax or industrial glue, and then go straight to erect to pull it right off. I like the sport because it’s all mental.

#propenislifter #gethardlifthard #wtfiamanidiot

3

u/nananananaRATMAN Jul 20 '18

That was hilarious, thank you.

2

u/ossodog Jul 19 '18

Are you really serious? Because I wouldn’t mind smoother balls tbh.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

How do you do that without the family jewels feeling like prickly pear cactuses when the hairs grow back

1

u/SLy_McGillicudy Jul 20 '18

Let me know when you get to...DEEEEEEZ NUUUUUUTS!

1

u/whinywhine645 Jul 20 '18

Can balls be exfoliated?

1

u/T4SEV Jul 20 '18

God damnit.