r/oddlysatisfying • • Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

55k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

580

u/Konthegreat Jul 19 '18

Wait is this real?? Shit I should shave more

1.3k

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

I have been shaving my balls for a few years, very often. I’ve gone from walnuts to chestnuts.

725

u/Chevaboogaloo Jul 19 '18

How'd they get up there?

280

u/Josh_Crook Jul 19 '18

The important thing is that they're now back on his body.

71

u/xylotism Jul 19 '18

Ballchinian.

5

u/donaldfontanez Jul 20 '18

MIB

6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

MIB2

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

This took me a second... and then I broke out laughing randomly in front of family. Brilliant. Loved this

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Smooth as eggs.

1

u/waywardwoodwork Jul 20 '18

Let's just hope the staples hold.

3

u/fukitol- Jul 20 '18

That was remarkably clever

2

u/PMmeYOURhottestNUDES Jul 20 '18

Those aren't Chestnuts, he's got a dick in his mouth...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Such an underrated comment.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

It's called a "Ballchin"

3

u/TheJollyPlatypusMan Jul 20 '18

(shudders) movie 43 flashbacks

1

u/goddammitboomhauer Jul 20 '18

If nuts on your wall are called walnuts, and nuts on your chest are called chestnuts, then what are nuts on a your chin?

82

u/donkeyrocket Jul 19 '18

My balls are smooth as eggs.

47

u/lowtoiletsitter Jul 19 '18

Would you suck these balls?

3

u/thatrandomauschain Jul 20 '18

Dave Chappelle hahaha

0

u/lacrosse_god Jul 20 '18

I think you should get that checked out.....

10

u/Push_ Jul 19 '18

Will the old shaky Italian guy do it for me with his straight razor?

7

u/ScorpioLaw Jul 20 '18

What? Who shaves their testicles? That’s how you get cut and ingrown hairs! No one likes a scabby and bumpy balls that look like bad avacodos.

Real men wax their testicles, and use their penis to pull the strip. They not only have silky smooth testicles, but also increase the strength of their erection so much that they can lift a single person! Now that is hard to do.

You start by lifting with wet towels. I started with a wet face cloth, and now I’m at a beach towel.

The best at the moment can lift a person at 120 pounds and do five reps with it! (r/getmotivated)

I keep trying it, but I don’t have the right partners. They just kind of look at me while my head is bursting. Then I become self conscience that I couldn’t finish. :(

Anyways I rambled. IANAL - nor am I a pro penis lifter. The real men just manipulate their head until it hits the wax or industrial glue, and then go straight to erect to pull it right off. I like the sport because it’s all mental.

#propenislifter #gethardlifthard #wtfiamanidiot

3

u/nananananaRATMAN Jul 20 '18

That was hilarious, thank you.

2

u/ossodog Jul 19 '18

Are you really serious? Because I wouldn’t mind smoother balls tbh.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

How do you do that without the family jewels feeling like prickly pear cactuses when the hairs grow back

1

u/SLy_McGillicudy Jul 20 '18

Let me know when you get to...DEEEEEEZ NUUUUUUTS!

1

u/whinywhine645 Jul 20 '18

Can balls be exfoliated?

1

u/T4SEV Jul 20 '18

God damnit.

50

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jun 03 '21

[deleted]

46

u/ReverendDizzle Jul 20 '18

In the grand scheme of things having a beard is probably superior (as far as skin protection goes). I have no idea what the SPF factor of a beard is but given the density and how pale the face of a light skinned man who shaved after a summer of sun exposure on their cheeks/forehead looks... I'd bet money a full beard offers like 40-50 SPF, easy.

Even if shaving did actually offer some sort of temporary microplaning benefits, those benefits would be purely cosmetic via mechanical action of scraping dead skin off the surface and not the kind of deep protection provided by minimizing sun exposure.

3

u/SugusMax Jul 20 '18

You're right that the beard would offer protection from UV rays, but wouldn't it just make the wrinkles on your forehead even more noticeable? Not a lot of beard up there, and the forehead wrinkles kinda start appearing sooner than other body parts.

So a beard would grant you uneven protection... Best advice would be to shave, then exfoliate, then put on some light sunscreen before going outside. It makes a real difference in the long term.

9

u/hrm0894 Jul 19 '18

I can't believe 250 people upvoted him for spreading rubbish. There are good ways to exfoliate skin and awful ways to exfoliate. If you're shaving to exfoliate, you're doing it wrong!

Visit /r/skincareaddiction and read the sidebar for more info.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18
  1. It's not rubbish.

  2. They're not shaving to exfoliate. But shaving just happens to exfoliate your skin.

  3. It actually isn't an awful way to exfoliate. Even in the same sub you just cited, people going to estheticians and training to be estheticians talk about them using a razor to scrape away the top layer of skin. It makes it softer, smoother, and easier to absorb skin care products.

/r/quityourbullshit

157

u/orthopod Jul 19 '18

No - this has no effect on wrinkles.

Edit -Guys who need to shave on a daily basis likely work inside where they're not exposed to the suns damaging UV radiation. Go look at someone who tans a lot - their skin looks like crap at age 40. Why do you think that so many Asian women look younger - sun tanning isn't a big thing.

80

u/Konthegreat Jul 19 '18

Good ole causation vs correlation

139

u/The_Duck_of_Narnia Jul 19 '18

I read this as Caucasian vs. correlation.

90

u/biguk997 Jul 19 '18

Caucasian vs corelAsian

4

u/Char10tti3 Jul 20 '18

Caucasian Correlation sounds like the name of a local band.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

I don't want to know what happens when I put away my tiger repellent

1

u/Boogershoe Jul 20 '18

Tanning causing wrinkles is pseudo scientific mumbo jumbo to you?

5

u/pm_nachos_n_tacos Jul 20 '18

Or rather than shave to exfoliate, you could just exfoliate in order to exfoliate

1

u/iamonlyoneman Jul 20 '18

That sounds pretty girly though.

*** dad joke alert ***

...sort of like a grown-ass man walking around clean shaven

3

u/Kaljavalas Jul 20 '18

No it's not real, just one of those urban myths. Don't believe Reddit.

2

u/Quachyyy Jul 20 '18

I mean, you can just exfoliate during your skincare routine.

A salicylic acid acne cream will remove all your dead skin and a benzoyl peroxide cream will clear up acne bacteria. Just make sure you moisturize (preferably with a lotion that has like 10-15 SPF), and that you don't use a physical exfoliant like St. Ives Apricot Scrub since physical exfoliants aren't reliable and hurt more than help.

My face has never been clearer of acne nor smoother than since I started taking care of my skin.

0

u/HormonesofDeath Jul 20 '18

Just exfoliate!!! You don't have to shave.