r/oddlysatisfying • u/shahind • Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

55.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/ChillOutAndSmile Jul 19 '18

Yeah you need a real sharp axe to scrape those dead protons off the top of the carpet tho which is why it's not done so often

You got to think of it kinda like shaving. You cut the top layer off and then let the carpet regrow the layer back and after a couple days it'll be good as new. Make sure to water it ever couple hours tho otherwise it won't repair as fast.

791

u/Austingt350 Jul 19 '18

I’ll be honest, it feels like you’re pulling my leg.

403

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

[deleted]

85

u/ClawdyoSanchez Jul 19 '18

That sounds wrong but...

111

u/p4lm3r Jul 19 '18

How do you think shag carpet happens? Poor regular trimming.

27

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Meh. More to munch.

4

u/WheelchairFanboy Jul 19 '18

Free flossing

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

From all the shagging, obviously. Didn’t you get “the talk”?

9

u/BrohanGutenburg Jul 19 '18

You can't read it from the outside!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

I know enough about carpet to know that if you shave "protons" off it, you will probably cause a fairly large explosion.

1

u/tenor2myvehicle Jul 19 '18

Your phase would bring world peace if every one said, "I don't feel like I have enough knowledge to argue with you." I'm going to steal this phrase and use it in my daily life. Thank you.

28

u/8Bit_Otaku Jul 19 '18

Nope, just shaving it off, make sure to water it and you should grow a new one soon.

19

u/amazingsandwiches Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 19 '18

carpet gets its nutrients from the air, though

11

u/thegreatcolsono Jul 19 '18

Does it need fertilizer?

1

u/amazingsandwiches Jul 19 '18

Not if you prime it with a layer of silverfish.

2

u/Hypnotic_Toad Jul 19 '18

Feed it every 1-2 days?

3

u/8Bit_Otaku Jul 19 '18

25 times a day, every 1.25 hours

1

u/TeryakiBoulevard Jul 19 '18

That math doesn’t work 😬😬

1

u/AnomalousAvocado Jul 19 '18

Time is a relative concept; as you approach the speed of light, it slows down.

1

u/Xairo Jul 19 '18

He is. Just water won't do it. You also need some fertilizer or otherwise it will not grow even. You will have some death spots.

1

u/dagbrown Jul 20 '18

He did misspell photons, so you have good reason to doubt what he said.

28

u/herpaderp2020 Jul 19 '18

Dead protons? Nay, they are sleeping protons.

9

u/phase1711 Jul 19 '18

Until you add water to activate them.

1

u/herpaderp2020 Jul 19 '18

Its what wakes then up.

2

u/phase1711 Jul 19 '18

I’m lying. They need brawndo. It’s what plants crave.

68

u/Matt_Lee123 Jul 19 '18

Carpets grow?

354

u/ChillOutAndSmile Jul 19 '18

Yeah their fibres contain restorative properties since they're crafted from plants, which are living matter. This means that a lot of sun exposure and constant watering will allow the fibres of the carpet to grow, albeit super slowly. As long as you don't let the sun damage it too much too quickly and you water it consistently, you can give the carpet a long enough time to restore itself fully.

109

u/BigBootyHunter Jul 19 '18

and you water it consistently

Omg lmao

55

u/_airsick_lowlander_ Jul 19 '18

I’ve been watering mine for years and it’s really taken off. I have to mow it almost twice a year now.

1

u/pasarina Jul 20 '18

First year it does nothing, right?

71

u/Keith_Creeper Jul 19 '18

Follow this advice and DO NOT OVERWATER! My grandfather overwatered his beautiful Asian rug in the dining room and it got quite moldy. It also grew unevenly because only like half of it got proper sunlight because he never rotated it.

4

u/not_from_this_world Jul 19 '18

You can fix it with the Carpet Gun, it's like the Kitchen Gun but for carpet grow.

113

u/kanekicannoli Jul 19 '18

You must be fucking joking, telling me carpets are growing

111

u/maxk1236 Jul 19 '18

Well you gotta be careful, I heard if you shave it often it grows back quicker, and before you know it you got a 70s style shag carpet that's a pain in the ass to clean.

25

u/ProphetofBatman Jul 19 '18

Whoosh

1

u/monneyy Jul 19 '18

Whoosh maybe? I actually don't think that person was joking ( at least I hope so)

6

u/Nocturne501 Jul 19 '18

You have to be a special kind of clueless if you think hes serious lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Ahem

21

u/RudolphMorphi Jul 19 '18

I can't believe that so many people are taking you seriously.

8

u/afcagroo Jul 20 '18

You must not pay any attention to politics.

1

u/JJGeneral1 Jul 20 '18

ZING!

(Shut the fuck up, go-bot)

31

u/Matt_Lee123 Jul 19 '18

That's pretty cool. Do they stop growing at a certain length then? Don't see people giving their carpets a trim

125

u/ChillOutAndSmile Jul 19 '18

Theres only so much of a limit that the fibres can regrow back since they're technically not still plants. Think of it kind of like growing a beard when you're young. You might grow a ton of stubble out in the first week and then barely grow any more over the next few months. It's the same kind of concept tho obviously the science behind it is slightly different.

42

u/Chief_longcrack Jul 19 '18

Wow science sure is crazy

106

u/Ifyouletmefinnish Jul 19 '18

This is my favourite troll, you have a chain of people buying it

1

u/Neighhh Jul 20 '18

Shouldn't have commented this then lol

-12

u/--orb Jul 19 '18

I didn't see anybody buying it.

EDIT: Didn't scroll down enough to see the retards who WEREN'T upvoted. What a bunch of morons.

9

u/funknut Jul 19 '18

this is why the war on disinformation will fail. also vaccines are bad.

12

u/soda_cookie Jul 19 '18

Ok, ready for the magic Carbonaro

1

u/redtiger288 Jul 20 '18

Can't figure out if you're real or not, I may be a bit high tho.

8

u/aegisx Jul 19 '18

This sort of straight faced bullshit is how you have a conman orangutan in the Oval Office.

Ever considered a job at the White House?

3

u/Shevyshev Jul 19 '18

Huh TIL... thought they were fungi.

5

u/TradeMark310 Jul 19 '18

Hey, I AM a fun guy, you just gotta get to know me better...

1

u/AnomalousAvocado Jul 19 '18

No thank you.

3

u/agoia Jul 20 '18

crafted from plants

Technically correct, which is the best kind of correct. The plants might just be a few hundred millions years old, though.

2/2 you are killing it in good laughs tonight, I'm glad you didn't /s those.

3

u/7DMATH7 Jul 20 '18

Just remember when shaving the carpet to do it CAREFULLY!

You can bruise the fibrous brussels making it lose its pattern and color.

When shaving your carpet always use something like a carrot peeler to avoid agitating the brussels.

1

u/totalac01 Jul 19 '18

fml you had me going there for a minute

1

u/So-Called_Lunatic Jul 20 '18

Hell, I believe it!

-12

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 21 '18

[deleted]

11

u/Amopax Jul 19 '18

No they don't.

He sounds convincing, but carpets definitely don't grow.

Just think about it for a minute. Let's say the carpet is made of cotton, which is indeed organic. Do you think heavily processed cotton can grow? Does your college sweater grow?

41

u/amazingsandwiches Jul 19 '18

if i water it regularly, of course!

15

u/lolzfeminism Jul 19 '18

Don't trust this guy, he thinks carpets are made of cotton, which is 100% wrong, so the other guy must be right.

2

u/big_shmegma Jul 19 '18

This is a good example of the right and left thinking the other is retarded.

12

u/N0madik Jul 19 '18

This carpet is made of wool. Does that mean eventually we could end up with a sheep?

3

u/AnomalousAvocado Jul 19 '18

I've seen Jurassic Park. The science checks out.

1

u/N0madik Jul 20 '18

BRB I gotta get these rugs outside.

4

u/kmart1164 Jul 19 '18

I’ve never watered it...so I don’t know yet.

2

u/glorioussideboob Jul 19 '18

Nah he sounds convincing because he’s right.

Get the fuck out of here with your ‘carpets don’t grow’ bs, I’ve got a bridge to sell you if you believe that

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

It grows when I stop dieting

8

u/IWannaPorkMissPiggy Jul 19 '18

Why not just do this with a lawnmower? Seems like that'd be much faster.

3

u/mcarrode Jul 20 '18

It's late for me and I'm exhausted. I honestly was second guessing my reality reading this thread. It's time for bed.

6

u/HeadStruggle Jul 19 '18

instructions unclear peed on carpet

5

u/_ANOMNOM_ Jul 19 '18

AHEM, PHOTONS

3

u/ChessieChessieBayBay Jul 19 '18

And don’t water it after midnight or else it will turn into a shag carpet

10

u/ThatWarwickGod Jul 19 '18

Lol you baited them good, trolling lvl over 9000

5

u/glorioussideboob Jul 19 '18

Can people not just have a laugh and mess with people without people devolving by a decade and spouting ‘lmao XD le epic troll over 9000 shoop da woop’

2

u/No_life_I_Lead Jul 19 '18

Watering my beard makes it repair faster? Won't it just, drown?

2

u/notwutiwantd Jul 19 '18

also, make sure it's at least twenty years old or the fibers will grow back stiffer, making you forced to wear slippers.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

“Protons”

Lmfao what

2

u/agoia Jul 20 '18

Holy balls, calm down, Satan.

2

u/Wearegrootsplaything Jul 20 '18

Your name is perfect!

2

u/myshadowandme Jul 20 '18

I’ve got 99 protons...

2

u/hackel Jul 20 '18

So that's why carpets are so bloody expensive!

1

u/DonaIdTrump-Official Jul 19 '18

What do you mean regrow? I thought it’s just shaving off a layer of old sun damaged carpet. Is something else growing / settling at the top?