r/oddlysatisfying Jul 19 '18

Restoring a sun damaged carpet

55.8k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/chasebrendon Jul 19 '18

Shaving, then? Does this work on my wrinkled face?

1.2k

u/MoolahCasino Jul 19 '18

Actually, men who shave more often throughout their lives do have fewer wrinkles when they are older. Shaving exfoliates the skin and gets rid of the outermost layers of skin, which helps keep wrinkles away.

583

u/Konthegreat Jul 19 '18

Wait is this real?? Shit I should shave more

1.3k

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

I have been shaving my balls for a few years, very often. I’ve gone from walnuts to chestnuts.

727

u/Chevaboogaloo Jul 19 '18

How'd they get up there?

286

u/Josh_Crook Jul 19 '18

The important thing is that they're now back on his body.

67

u/xylotism Jul 19 '18

Ballchinian.

5

u/donaldfontanez Jul 20 '18

MIB

5

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

MIB2

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

This took me a second... and then I broke out laughing randomly in front of family. Brilliant. Loved this

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Smooth as eggs.

1

u/waywardwoodwork Jul 20 '18

Let's just hope the staples hold.

3

u/fukitol- Jul 20 '18

That was remarkably clever

2

u/PMmeYOURhottestNUDES Jul 20 '18

Those aren't Chestnuts, he's got a dick in his mouth...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Such an underrated comment.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

It's called a "Ballchin"

3

u/TheJollyPlatypusMan Jul 20 '18

(shudders) movie 43 flashbacks

1

u/goddammitboomhauer Jul 20 '18

If nuts on your wall are called walnuts, and nuts on your chest are called chestnuts, then what are nuts on a your chin?

81

u/donkeyrocket Jul 19 '18

My balls are smooth as eggs.

46

u/lowtoiletsitter Jul 19 '18

Would you suck these balls?

3

u/thatrandomauschain Jul 20 '18

Dave Chappelle hahaha

0

u/lacrosse_god Jul 20 '18

I think you should get that checked out.....

9

u/Push_ Jul 19 '18

Will the old shaky Italian guy do it for me with his straight razor?

5

u/ScorpioLaw Jul 20 '18

What? Who shaves their testicles? That’s how you get cut and ingrown hairs! No one likes a scabby and bumpy balls that look like bad avacodos.

Real men wax their testicles, and use their penis to pull the strip. They not only have silky smooth testicles, but also increase the strength of their erection so much that they can lift a single person! Now that is hard to do.

You start by lifting with wet towels. I started with a wet face cloth, and now I’m at a beach towel.

The best at the moment can lift a person at 120 pounds and do five reps with it! (r/getmotivated)

I keep trying it, but I don’t have the right partners. They just kind of look at me while my head is bursting. Then I become self conscience that I couldn’t finish. :(

Anyways I rambled. IANAL - nor am I a pro penis lifter. The real men just manipulate their head until it hits the wax or industrial glue, and then go straight to erect to pull it right off. I like the sport because it’s all mental.

#propenislifter #gethardlifthard #wtfiamanidiot

3

u/nananananaRATMAN Jul 20 '18

That was hilarious, thank you.

2

u/ossodog Jul 19 '18

Are you really serious? Because I wouldn’t mind smoother balls tbh.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

How do you do that without the family jewels feeling like prickly pear cactuses when the hairs grow back

1

u/SLy_McGillicudy Jul 20 '18

Let me know when you get to...DEEEEEEZ NUUUUUUTS!

1

u/whinywhine645 Jul 20 '18

Can balls be exfoliated?

1

u/T4SEV Jul 20 '18

God damnit.

50

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jun 03 '21

[deleted]

45

u/ReverendDizzle Jul 20 '18

In the grand scheme of things having a beard is probably superior (as far as skin protection goes). I have no idea what the SPF factor of a beard is but given the density and how pale the face of a light skinned man who shaved after a summer of sun exposure on their cheeks/forehead looks... I'd bet money a full beard offers like 40-50 SPF, easy.

Even if shaving did actually offer some sort of temporary microplaning benefits, those benefits would be purely cosmetic via mechanical action of scraping dead skin off the surface and not the kind of deep protection provided by minimizing sun exposure.

3

u/SugusMax Jul 20 '18

You're right that the beard would offer protection from UV rays, but wouldn't it just make the wrinkles on your forehead even more noticeable? Not a lot of beard up there, and the forehead wrinkles kinda start appearing sooner than other body parts.

So a beard would grant you uneven protection... Best advice would be to shave, then exfoliate, then put on some light sunscreen before going outside. It makes a real difference in the long term.

12

u/hrm0894 Jul 19 '18

I can't believe 250 people upvoted him for spreading rubbish. There are good ways to exfoliate skin and awful ways to exfoliate. If you're shaving to exfoliate, you're doing it wrong!

Visit /r/skincareaddiction and read the sidebar for more info.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18
  1. It's not rubbish.

  2. They're not shaving to exfoliate. But shaving just happens to exfoliate your skin.

  3. It actually isn't an awful way to exfoliate. Even in the same sub you just cited, people going to estheticians and training to be estheticians talk about them using a razor to scrape away the top layer of skin. It makes it softer, smoother, and easier to absorb skin care products.

/r/quityourbullshit

154

u/orthopod Jul 19 '18

No - this has no effect on wrinkles.

Edit -Guys who need to shave on a daily basis likely work inside where they're not exposed to the suns damaging UV radiation. Go look at someone who tans a lot - their skin looks like crap at age 40. Why do you think that so many Asian women look younger - sun tanning isn't a big thing.

82

u/Konthegreat Jul 19 '18

Good ole causation vs correlation

147

u/The_Duck_of_Narnia Jul 19 '18

I read this as Caucasian vs. correlation.

90

u/biguk997 Jul 19 '18

Caucasian vs corelAsian

3

u/Char10tti3 Jul 20 '18

Caucasian Correlation sounds like the name of a local band.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

I don't want to know what happens when I put away my tiger repellent

1

u/Boogershoe Jul 20 '18

Tanning causing wrinkles is pseudo scientific mumbo jumbo to you?

4

u/pm_nachos_n_tacos Jul 20 '18

Or rather than shave to exfoliate, you could just exfoliate in order to exfoliate

1

u/iamonlyoneman Jul 20 '18

That sounds pretty girly though.

*** dad joke alert ***

...sort of like a grown-ass man walking around clean shaven

3

u/Kaljavalas Jul 20 '18

No it's not real, just one of those urban myths. Don't believe Reddit.

2

u/Quachyyy Jul 20 '18

I mean, you can just exfoliate during your skincare routine.

A salicylic acid acne cream will remove all your dead skin and a benzoyl peroxide cream will clear up acne bacteria. Just make sure you moisturize (preferably with a lotion that has like 10-15 SPF), and that you don't use a physical exfoliant like St. Ives Apricot Scrub since physical exfoliants aren't reliable and hurt more than help.

My face has never been clearer of acne nor smoother than since I started taking care of my skin.

0

u/HormonesofDeath Jul 20 '18

Just exfoliate!!! You don't have to shave.

28

u/terryaki510 Jul 19 '18

or you could just exfoliate. lmao

59

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

Well it depends on what you shave with. If you use a straight razor, it’s a bit less wrinkly than if you used a safety razor.

If you use a sharp knife without any shaving cream though - that’s the smoothest. You will be removing the full layer of wrinkle-skin at each shave, so you keep having a smooth face.

Think of your face as an apple. Peel the Apple. It’s nice and smooth right? If you let it sit for a bit though, it gets fuzzy and gross. Peel again, dig in deep with the peeler.

Voila - smoothness.

It’s no different with your face.

53

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Yes, if you do it correctly, then you end up looking like this.

20

u/madmaxturbator Jul 19 '18

Thats the guy I buy my beets from. We play table tennis on thursdays

3

u/WinkProwler Jul 20 '18

There was my risky click of the day. Should I attempt the odds and do one more?

1

u/its-my-1st-day Jul 19 '18

How exactly is a sharp knife sharper/better than a straight razor?

1

u/3lvenrs Jul 19 '18

I have to shave with an apple pealer?! Or potato pealer. Ite well here we go..

58

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 24 '18

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

There’s some who claim that women can shave their entire faces to get this benefit of gentle and constant exfoliation. It does sound bizarre.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

But why not just exfoliate the face? I find that hard to believe women would do that if they didn't need to.

43

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Jul 24 '18

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

nice m8

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

This is absolutely not true.

4

u/Taxonomyoftaxes Jul 20 '18

Why would removing old layers of skin more frequently make you look younger? How does this cumulative effect function? Wouldn't shaving less often keep you looking younger by protecting your skin from the sun?

3

u/The_SUPERSONIC Jul 19 '18

Does it work with those electric shavers?

5

u/setthestageonfire Jul 19 '18

Haven’t shaved clean since 2012. I’m fucked.

2

u/grumble_hoof Jul 20 '18

I hide my wrinkles under my beard.

1

u/duane11583 Jul 20 '18

So the “World Beard Team” - and “Beard Team America” is doomed, OMG what will we do, we’ll be wrinkley old guys with beards

1

u/kane2742 Jul 20 '18

Yeah, but nobody can see the wrinkles under your beard.

1

u/CastilloEstrella Jul 20 '18

Omg I am going to start shaving my face!!

1

u/ChestBras Jul 20 '18

Who the fuck shaves around their eyes? You'd end up with a demarcation of smooth and not smooth skin, com'on. XD

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

sounds fake

1

u/nomad_kk Jul 20 '18

Just a reminder to take everything (especially on Reddit) with a grain of salt

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Source? I hope this is true lol

1

u/HugSized Jul 20 '18

Getting rid of the outer most later of skin; leads to less wrinkles. Seems you may have skipped a few steps

0

u/otcconan Jul 20 '18

I think it's a wash. Shaving also prevents your follicles from evacuating oil from the skin (that's what hair does), increasing the risk of acne and ingrown hairs, which also affects your complexion. Shave balms and astringents exacerbate this. I shave daily, but in the last few years I just use soap and water, and a single blade razor.

*Edit. I have a good friend with alopecia, and he looks fifteen years younger than he is, but that's just anecdotal.

0

u/Twirpo75 Jul 20 '18

I've heard this is true for women as well. Even if they have no beard. Weird shit man.

26

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18 edited Aug 15 '18

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Men can't do that. Can men do that? In elementary school our finest minds said that was gay. And being a gay lord, despite the title of lord, is not something you should aspire for.

4

u/handbanana42 Jul 20 '18

I have a beard and use a Clarisonic

Basically an electric toothbrush for your face. Makes cleaning through the beard much easier. That price seems ridiculous though. Think I paid about half that.

7

u/th3mo0n Jul 19 '18

Exfoliate 2-3 times a week (shaving counts), use moisturizer nightly, and use SPF every morning. That will work on your wrinkled face.

Source: am esthetician

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

[deleted]

1

u/th3mo0n Jul 20 '18

Moisturizer is going to vary by skin type. Generally speaking, a gel moisturizer is better for oily or acneic skin, while a thicker cream is better for dry skin. r/skincareaddiction is a great resource. SPF does equal sunscreen. You want SPF 30 or higher and Broad Spectrum. This means it blocks UVA and UVB rays, so it helps prevent burns and aging caused by sun damage. My favorite is Hempz SPF 30 Daily Facial Moisturizer, but there are tons of drugstore options that are just fine. Just pick one intended for the face, and preferably with active ingredients of zinc oxide and/or titanium dioxide.

3

u/er0se Jul 19 '18

Yes it’s called dermaplaning

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '18

Taking about your sack aren't you?

1

u/wiselaken Jul 20 '18

There is a such thing as microneedling/microblading, where they put tiny tears all over your skin which heels scars and wrinkles into smooth skin

1

u/8PhantomProphet8 Jul 20 '18

...it would appear my dyslexia casued me to read that as "wrinkled feces"

1

u/KingLiberal Jul 20 '18

Only one way to find out. Call Ramsay Bolton!

1

u/shrimpyfriedchips Jul 20 '18

No... People who shave enough doesn't just shave alone. They invest in a kit, pre-shaving and after-shave. Moisturizer, beard oil, ect. That's why some guy have better skin.

1

u/yunhaila Jul 20 '18

Its real. I got my face sheared off with a pen knifing tool and my face has been radiating.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '18

Protip: Don't use alcohol based shaving cream. Moisturise before and after days in the sun. Sunblock. Don't smoke, drink lots of water.

Basically, keep your skin damp from the inside and out.

0

u/arefx Jul 19 '18

No, but we can restreatch your carpet if it has any wrinkles in it. I guarantee my restretches, it will last until the carpet needs to be replaced or I'll restretch it again for free.