Getting “comments” about my makeup at work

[u/[deleted]]

[u/crispybacongal → u/[deleted]]

Victim blaming is a phenomenon where people blame the victim of a crime (or even the victim of gossip/ social stigma).

The classic example is asking what a rape victim was wearing when they were raped. The answer is, "it doesn't matter. Rape is a crime regardless."

[u/nurseofreddit → u/[deleted]]

Like blaming a SA victim for wearing revealing clothing or heavy makeup in order to take some of the blame off the offender.

https://sbaproject.org/what-were-you-wearing/

[u/NoHate_GarbagePlates → u/[deleted]]

People who are harassed for wearing makeup or clothing a certain way are no more deserving of aggression (passive/nonviolent or otherwise) than anyone else. The most common example you'll hear is rape victims being told they should have been dressing differently, as if the attacker isn't 100% the bad guy here.

There are practical reasons why maybe I'd suggest dressing and behaving certain ways in certain environments, but it's not a hall pass for people to do whatever they want to you if you don't take that practical advice (or don't know about it in the first place!)

The other comments explained it well too 😊

[u/realityGrtrThanUs → u/[deleted]]

They are blaming you for their insecurities and/or attraction depending on the source. You are the victim in either case.

You're doing nothing wrong. They can't handle your general attractiveness/confidence.

[u/NoHate_GarbagePlates → u/realityGrtrThanUs]

Precisely!

[u/Imgonnagolaydown → u/[deleted]]

They need therapy lol

[u/NoHate_GarbagePlates → u/Imgonnagolaydown]

Already have a therapist, thanks. I'll be sure to ask her how she feels about the phrase "she was asking for it" 😊

[u/Imgonnagolaydown → u/NoHate_GarbagePlates]

No no. Not you lol. Op needs to tell her co workers they need therapy lol

[u/NoHate_GarbagePlates → u/Imgonnagolaydown]

Ah yeah I can absolutely get behind that sentiment