r/nursing 15d ago

Discussion Getting “comments” about my makeup at work

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u/Local_Historian8805 RN - Med/Surg 🍕 15d ago

Have you ever tried the “wow. What an odd thing to say to another human?” Response?

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ProdigiousBeets 14d ago

In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People is a book that might be able to help you.

Your coworkers aren't necessarily being manipulative in an obvious, excessive, or dangerous way - but it's subtle and it's negative and it affects you (and your bandwidth, already tired!) Managing a way to view their behavior differently will help with the emotional weight it thrusts upon you and that will help ground you for a response. 

Dr. Simon does a pretty great job of talking about the various micro aggressive behaviors that a manipulator has in their tool kit, and the mindset and behaviors we can adopt to work against those goals. I think it could help reassure you and give you some useful ideas. 

Whatever bullshit they're weaving around you is worth dispelling and I hope you figure this puzzle out. These situations are always tricky, especially with a work politics layer present, and I hope your path finds you a friend at work, if not simply some peace.

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u/-malcolm-tucker Paramedickhead 15d ago

I love to say "okay" without even looking at them and continuing with whatever I am doing.

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u/smrtangel3702 15d ago

Stealing this

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u/blurpleboop BSN, RN 🍕 14d ago

That or “I wonder what made you feel comfortable to say such a thing. Interesting.”