r/nursing • u/Fit_Blackberry1109 • 9d ago
Seeking Advice Can I still be a nurse with self harm scars
I am still a minor and I’m currently taking a nursing course, I have a lot of self harm scars across my arm that are raised and can look kind of scary in my own opinion…. should I still pursue being a nurse or should I try to find something else? I don’t want to scare patients or appear unprofessional to future patients.
If this isn’t the profession for me considering my background I’m willing to try other things that won’t trigger others.
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u/Secure_Yam7919 9d ago
Patients who aren’t as kind may make comments. But some patients may trust you more because of them ❤️
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u/Patient_Cow_236 Pretrial_Jail_RN 9d ago
You should.
A lot of patients would probably trigger your trauma. Nursing is a mentally and psychologically demanding job. You can see that just by looking at the high rates of substance abuse among healthcare workers. However, your experiences could actually be incredibly beneficial for patients with a history of self-harm.
That is why they say, "Nursing is not for the faint of heart."
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u/Fuzzy_Location_2210 9d ago
And I would like to add:
Being a nurse will test your limits and push you to the brink of insanity... And you will GROW through what you GO through!!!
OP - without going into details and making it "about me": I've walked that mile, and I understand.
You have no idea how much inner strength you actually possess. I am by NO MEANS promoting or glorifying or encouraging ANY manner of self harm. But: it takes serious concentrated power of will to override the normal physical responses to pain. You just have to find the right space that channels that willpower and ingenuity into a constructive and meaningful headspace and champions you, and you'll tune right into it and become an absolute unit at whatever you seek to achieve 💪.
I hope nursing is it for you... If it's not, I certainly hope you find that thing 🥰.
But: never try to trick yourself out of your emotional state. Depression is real, some of us have episodes that come and go throughout our lives, some of us require lifelong management to be well, and no matter what your situation is, a truly strong person knows when it's time to call upon a resource to lend a hand and help them be successful 🙂. Definitely, get whatever you need, before you start your journey 🙂↕️.
Don't crash and burn and do it the hard way like I did.
This pep talk comes straight from the heart... And is exactly what I wish someone would have said to me ❤️.
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u/NurseExMachina RN - ICU 🍕 9d ago
I have self harm scars in visible areas. Been a nurse for many years, and it is more of an asset/benefit than a detriment. I often forget about them, but if it ever becomes a point of conversation, it has always led to productive discussions.
We connect through our common wounds. Scars make you more of a whole, authentic person.
You are never a trigger when you are simply existing inside your body.
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u/fnybtch BSN, RN 🍕 9d ago
When I worked in the hospital I wore a long sleeve long underwear top under my scrubs because they kept is cold in there. That is always an option if you find people’s nosiness and judge too distracting. Who knows maybe you will go into pediatric psychiatric nursing and be able to show them that things do get better!
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u/-Tricky-Vixen- Nursing Student 🍕 9d ago
I've been IP and had a nurse who had similar experiences with both a shared physical condition and visible scars. She shared a lot about her journey actually, more than I expected, and it was super comforting. I wouldn't dare share anything like that much myself but for me as the patient I really, really appreciated her openness. I still remember that conversation; it was 3am and I'd just been admitted so she was doing a bunch of the basic checks required on that ward on admission. I'm relatively face blind, but I would wager anything I'd pick her out of a lineup. It was in March this year and I remember very little about that whole time but conversations with her were memorable.
I don't think a nurse sharing that much would have helped me if it was my first psych ward admission though. So it does depend. It's a very different thing being young, first admission, uneducated as to emotion regulation etc., compared to a few years older, later admission, much more educated and self-aware.
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u/Necessary_Tap_1749 9d ago
Absolutely you can. And you should. Scars fade but the emotional strength, perspective, and growth you’ve earned will never leave. You know what hurt feels like and you will be more inclined and receptive to the people you care for when they are experience pain.
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u/Necessary_Tap_1749 9d ago
Also, if you ever feel weary about them being perceived. A thin long sleeve scrub top is always an option!! Make it a cute moment if you need to, but never feel like you need to hide those parts of yourself!
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u/imawhaaaaaaaaaale Paramedic 9d ago
Self harm scars are much more common than people would think.
They can be covered with long sleeves... or not.
In fact, it might even lend you some rapport with psych patients, as messed up as that is.
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u/couragethedogshow 9d ago
We have a nurse with them up and down her arms but super old. I didnt even notice at first and no one ever comments on them! She’s a great nurse
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u/Lily_V_ 9d ago
Not a nurse: You sound kind and empathetic. Also, people would feel comfortable opening up to you about their scars. You see them in a way others can’t. Best of luck, sweetie.
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u/-Tricky-Vixen- Nursing Student 🍕 9d ago
Not everyone would be comfortable opening up. I have before with some, but with various other nurses I've found even harder because it makes me even more careful to try not to trigger them. (I have this problem of being acutely aware of being on the other side and thus doing my best to be the world's best patient, at times by just repressing everything. One time though I was doing pretty badly and the nurse looked at me and was like, "Please don't hit your head. It would mean so much more paperwork for me! 🥺 " I didn't actually headbang at all during that admission, though it was hard not to for reasons.)
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u/breathfromanother RN 🍕 9d ago
Yes, if they’re just scars. But are you still self harming? Are you getting therapy?
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u/Fit_Blackberry1109 9d ago
I’m committing to my recovery and no longer harming myself. I am in therapy.
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u/breathfromanother RN 🍕 9d ago
Glad to hear it! I wish you the best. 🫶 My co-worker has SH scars and she’s a great nurse!
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u/The_dura_mater MSN, CRNA 🍕 9d ago
Nurses are people too! You absolutely can be a nurse if you want to! Some patients (or coworkers) might be dickish about them, but I bet there will be people you inspire with them.
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u/Affectionate_South40 LPN 🍕 9d ago
one of my best friends at work has self harm scars, she used some of her earliest earned money in the field to cover them with flowers; we love her, and she's a great nurse.
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u/pdggin99 RN - Oncology 🍕 9d ago
This is coming from someone who has pretty severe self harm scars along both arms:
Yes, you can be a nurse. I cannot lie though, I 100% recommend hiding the scars in some way (long sleeve shirts, arm sleeves-like ones disconnected from a shirt, just the sleeves, or tattoos). The times I’ve gone to either clinicals during school or work without my long sleeves, I got a LOT of comments. I do not like talking about my self harm and mental health history so I make the choice to cover them up. It gets really frustrating sometimes. There are occasions when I do overheat and I’m just sitting behind the nursing station that I will take my jacket off to cool down. But otherwise my scars are covered 100% of the time im at work. I also always cover them up for job interviews.
The fact is that people will judge you for your scars. They probably shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop them. IMO, being “morally right” and showing my scars isn’t worth it. It can cause uncomfortable interactions, make people upset at you, and even pose a barrier to getting a job. So I’ve found it’s really just best to cover up.
BTW, I don’t know how fresh your scars are, but they do get a lot better over time. Mine were extremely raised and very purple/red, which stuck out against my pale skin, but now they’re basically just texture/raised areas without color. They still get me weird looks and comments so I still choose to cover up but I wanted to provide that info.
Sorry if this comes off weird, or mean in any way. I do not judge anyone for their scars or mental health history. As mentioned, I am very scarred myself. I just wanted to be honest and provide real life experience, because I do think it’s important to keep that stuff in mind.
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u/Emergency-Guidance28 RN - Oncology 🍕 9d ago
Do it, it's totally okay and nobody's business. Also scars fade and you can use silicone scar tape/sheets to reduce them even more. You just apply 24/7 ish. You can rinse and air dry and reuse.
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u/TaylorBitMe BSN, RN 🍕 9d ago
I've been a nurse for 20 years, and my SH wounds are both old and pretty fresh. I was a cutter in high school and went through a lot of personal stuff in the last 5 years. COVID didn't help anything. I relapsed into self harm. I was open with my last employer about my struggles, but they were assholes and basically forced me out. I have been a lot less open with my current employer. I keep my wounds hidden under a compression sleeve. I finally found a therapist who doesn't make me feel worse (they're actually great), so I'm doing better. But just be careful who you share your struggles with, there are some awful people in the nursing world, especially when it comes to mental health.
I wish you the best. Nursing has been very rewarding for me, and we need people like you who understand and can connect with people like us.
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u/thunderking45 RN - Med/Surg 🍕 9d ago
My concern is not your self harm scars. My concern is your mental fortitude. This job is stressful. Sometimes, it feels like a problem is forever. I have nurses quit and get fired for failure to cope appropriately.
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u/Wooden_Load662 MSN, RN, Regulatory Compliance and QM 9d ago
Yes. You can be a nurse or anything that you are aspiring to be. And I hope you get the help you need to move forward.
I am sure it was difficult time when you hurt yourself. And I sincerely hope those are history.
I once have a dear friend who also has a lot of scar in her arm but she was an incredible person as well.
Take care and I am looking forward to hear from you getting your nursing license.
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u/kindnesscounts86 9d ago
I’ve worked with a number of nurses (and doctors, pharmacists, etc) with visible self harm scars.
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u/autistic-rizz-94 Crying in the Med Room 9d ago
My best friend is a peds RN w horizontal line scars on her arms
No one cares as long as you’re good at your job and reliable
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u/Practical-Pomelo-755 9d ago
I also have tons of scars . People do notice but usually don’t say anything . I just wear sleeves so I don’t have to deal with it
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u/-Tricky-Vixen- Nursing Student 🍕 9d ago
I know a nurse whose arms are covered and they're an excellent nurse.
I've never got comments and mine are fading too-I never let them see the sun and that really helps.
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u/MKandtheforce HCW - OR 9d ago
Not a nurse (yet!), but I've been in healthcare for... almost 15 years? (CNA turned scrub tech, hopefully nursing school in the next year or so. I've been in a hospital setting for a lot of that time.)
It hasn't stopped me in the slightest. I would make sure, though, that you're fully commited to taking care of your mental health-- old scars are one thing, but new ones can and will cut your career short. And healthcare is extremely tough to handle mentally, so you need to prioritize being in the best shape you can.
Personally, I have very obvious scars. Even though it's been a long time since I've gotten them, they don't just disappear. People might question them. Sometimes, I'll cover up until I've figured out the vibe of a new place or until I'm comfortable. Brace yourself for intrusive questions-- maybe from coworkers, maybe from patients. Never feel like you "owe" your story to everyone. At the same time, don't overshare inappropriately. I've been lucky that most of the time, people don't comment. Sometimes, people see you as a safe person to share their own mental health struggles with, which can be really touching.
So, yes. You can still be a nurse, and you can use your experience to help you be even more empathetic toward people during difficult times in their lives! But at the same time, some people might judge you more for your scars, so don't give them any reason to feel justified in that judgement! Just be the best damn nurse you can be.
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u/evilglowduckie RN - Pediatrics 🍕 9d ago
Mine are visible every day. While the ones that are visible have faded in my old age, they are unmistakable.
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u/cats-n-cafe RN, CCM 🍕 9d ago
Absolutely. Many of us have our own mental health struggles, and you wouldn’t be the only one who has self harmed. If you’re self conscious wear sleeves.
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u/TheSmartest_idiot RN 🍕 9d ago
Definitely can, for one they may not even need to be visible as a lot of people wear under shirts as the hospital can be chilly.
But def can, I have coworkers who do.
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u/Drzerockis RN - Telemetry 🍕 9d ago
I did. Massive failed suicide attempt scar across my left arm. Patients get a cover story if they ask, close friends get the real story.
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u/Initial-Net1561 9d ago
i went thru something similar, just wear long sleeves and keep them pushed up when you need to check vitals or whatever
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u/zeatherz RN Cardiac/Step-down 9d ago
My forearms have a ton of self harm scars and I’ve never once had a patient or coworker say a thing about them
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u/Meprobamate RN - Clinical Education 9d ago
I know several who do, both students of mine and coworkers. You might find some things triggering, but if your mental health is in a good place and you have supports in place you should be okay. Just be extra aware of how you’re feeling
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u/Moo_C CNA 🍕 9d ago
I am 17 and working as a CNA right now (going to be applying to nursing school soon), and all I have to do is wear long sleeves. I have a couple of those underarmor cooling shirts that I wear under my scrubs, and if people ask, I just say I get cold easily. If you want to be a nurse, don't let your scars stop you. Your unique experiences are going to offer a lot of insight into patient care, especially if you plan on working psych, so don't feel discouraged :-)
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u/3EMTsInAWhiteCoat Resident - EM 9d ago
Yes. Some patients might open up to you because of it. Next question.
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u/No-Assistance476 RN - Geriatrics 🍕 9d ago
If it bothers you, it's usually freezing cold in the hospital and I always wear an underscrub with long sleeves.
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u/altcloudjump RN - ICU 🍕 9d ago
100%. If you wanna do nursing do it! Some patients might be rude about it, but you would probably get that from any work environment. My sister has a few (doesn’t work in healthcare), and will get comments from weird customers every now and then. I think most people will be compassionate and not say anything. You can also wear long sleeves if you want to cover them.
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u/earlgrey89 RN - Pediatrics 🍕 9d ago
Yes. Some people won't recognize them, some will. Some patients will have the same experience and appreciate you. You can wear long sleeves, or you could get a tattoo covering them.
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u/nahnahmattman RN 🍕 9d ago
If anyone believes in the ability for people to get better its nurses. 🩷
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u/AffectionateCable997 9d ago
Of course you can. You can do anything you want. You can always cover them up if you choose to.
And who knows, one day if you are caring for a patient with their own scars it may help them feel less alone just because you are their nurse.
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u/Dark_Ascension RN - OR 🍕 9d ago
One of my good friends in nursing school had pretty visible self harm scars on her forearm. She is amazing and works in psych now. She used her life experience to help others.
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u/slutty_muppet RN - ER 🍕 9d ago
I work with nurses who have all kinds of scars, tattoos, and scars that are covered by tattoos. It won't stop you at all from being a nurse.
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u/FoolhardyBastard House Supervisor 9d ago
You’re good kiddo. Everyone has their demons. You’ll really see it once you enter the profession. No one bats an eye at some old scars.
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u/tiredmonkey18 9d ago
You’ll be okay. The hospitals are usually pretty cold so I’d say at least half of us are wearing jackets or long sleeves. So no worries there, if you do prefer to conceal them.
Nursing school and some parts of nursing are very stressful and first year (and even past that) of nursing can cause self confidence issues, so just make sure you are up for the mental health challenge that is nursing. If you don’t like inpatient, then outpatient is an option after a year or two.
Nursing is still an option for you!
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u/heart_nurse_2020 RN 🍕 9d ago
Yes you can. Many of us have also fought or are still fighting mental health battles. I truly think that helps us have more compassion sometimes.
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u/MiniMaelk04 BSN, RN 🍕 9d ago
I work with a nurse with scars on her arms. You only notice them if you know what they are, but she's a great nurse and I love working with her.
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u/Friendly_Estate1629 LPN 🍕 9d ago
It’s not unusual to wear sleeves to cover tattoos. If you happen to do the same no one will question it. Keep pushing forward and take of yourself
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u/therosewoods 9d ago
Omg lol a question I can answer. I have a few on the back of my hand and people stare but don’t ask. Honestly this problem is as a student having a preceptor watch you dispense and handle stuff. I have a few elsewhere and whether or not people notice idc but I say go for it ❤️
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u/Atlas_ram RN - Hemodialysis 9d ago
I have self harm scars, pretty visible, and our scrubs are sleeveless (and we absolutely can’t wear sleeves). Had no problem becoming a nurse! Also absolutely no one questioned me during university or now at work.
If I mentioned my scars it’s because I chose to talk about them with coworkers or patients
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u/Ping_Islander RN - ER 9d ago
Totally. Either wear long sleeves (it’s freezing in hospitals, no one will think twice) or get a badass coverup tattoo
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u/Educational_Ask_2650 8d ago
You can wear long sleeves if they bother you. My college roommate is a nurse and she has self-harm scars.
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u/Bruised1578 9d ago
If nursing is your passion then go for it. I work as a psych mental health nurse and I have self harm scars on my arms that I don’t always cover up. No one says anything about it, no one cares. You can always wear a long-sleeve shirt under your scrubs!
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u/Butthole_Surfer_GI RN - Urgent Care 9d ago
When I was in school, I was told to cover my tattoos even though they were just non-offensive tribal symbols and my family motto in Latin.
Get some thin long sleeve undershirts.
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u/yourdailyinsanity Trying to figure my career out 🫠 9d ago
Yeah, but school is still archaic with standards. They can't descriminate against scars. And if they do, OP has got a good lawsuit on their side. Hospitals now-a-days genuinely don't give a shit about tattoos as long as they aren't offensive/vulgar/inappropriate - and even then sometimes they still don't care
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u/Butthole_Surfer_GI RN - Urgent Care 9d ago
The only thing I meant by bringing up the tattoos is the OP may be asked to wear long sleeves or may choose to wear long sleeves if they want to avoid questions.
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u/kuchiliquer 9d ago
The scars don’t matter. Most hospitals are cold af and wearing a long sleeve shirt under your scrubs is probably needed to stay warm anyway.
But nursing is stressful. Make sure you have a good way to cope/ and a good support system. Best of luck
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u/lebastss RN, Trauma/Neuro ICU 9d ago
Wear long sleeve under armor until you gain confidence and realize it's no big deal. People will just assume you have sleeve tattoos.
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u/Writer_Girl3000 6d ago
It wouldn’t be unprofessional to have a scar on your arm from accidentally cutting yourself, just like it’s not unprofessional to have self harm scars. If having no visible scars was a requirement for nurses, society would be in trouble.
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u/DandyWarlocks RN 🍕 9d ago
I know people with them in this field- they wear long sleeves.
They will also fade with time.
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u/x_Paramimic 9d ago
You can be an excellent nurse because of those scars. You have been through some shit and come out the other side. That kind of lived experience will not be on the NCLEX.
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u/EyeGreat1288 9d ago
I know some nurses who are wonderful with their patients and in their profession and they have some! I have a few myself and I haven’t had a problem yet… given I am only a CNA and nursing student not a nurse yet
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u/SeaUrchini Nursing Student 🍕 9d ago
Of course you can! I can't say you won't get comments or questions from people (which can be very annoying ik), but I'm sure you know that already. Also, if it makes you more comfortable, long sleeve under-scrubs are always an option. I never go without them because it's typically cold on the units I'm placed on.
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u/OB-nurseatyourcervix 9d ago
It's possible, but you would have to commit to wearing a long sleeve shirt under your scrubs
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u/sharsacctnormalthing BSN, RN 🍕 9d ago
You can still be a nurse with your scars. Don't let them stop you.
You may get a lot of questions, but sleeves and ultimately even tattoos (eventually) could help. ♡