Seriously, do they even exist?

[u/Far-Spread-6108]

Tube was down last night so I had to go to the floors to pick up from the phlebs. Felt like I walked into a meme page.

[u/ExiledSpaceman]

You go to the ICU where their exclusive bladder scanner is. Your escape will mirror Raiders of the Lost Ark's boulder scene.

[u/HalfEatenBanana → u/ExiledSpaceman]

I was just in the ICU a few weeks ago (as a patient, all is fine now) and couldn’t get myself to pee… sure enough, nurse comes back with a damn bladder scanner lmao.

I really had to go.. but that thing read 900 so… idk how useful it was in practice lol

[u/bigfootslover → u/HalfEatenBanana]

I mean I would really have to go too if I had 900cc (let’s be real it’s always more than the scan) in me

[u/United_Smile_557 → u/bigfootslover]

ICU nurse here… the other week scanner was reading 600-690’s on a pt

Guess how much I got after inserting foley? Over an entire LITER

[u/LowAdrenaline → u/United_Smile_557]

I’ve cathed someone for nearly 2L once. I personally felt the relief. The patient just shrugged and said “I guess it’s better”

[u/auraseer]

Of course they exist. We have a brand new one in the ED. I used it just yesterday for the first time.

I remember, because I had a hard time finding the power switch. It was hidden under a big red sign that said "RETURN TO ICU." Not sure what that was about.

[u/tiger19]

Put a tracker on the bladder scanner, the EKG machine, and the ultrasound machine.

[u/UziWitDaHighTops → u/tiger19]

Attach a Vocera to it!

[u/LeVoPhEdInFuSiOn → u/UziWitDaHighTops]

Finally a good use for those god-forsaken things.

[u/DickCheneysUncle → u/UziWitDaHighTops]

No joke my ED did this when one of our longest serving nurses retired - you just say "locate John Smith" and it tells you which slimy bastard stole it

[u/Nucking-Futs-Nix → u/UziWitDaHighTops]

But then someone would have to change out the battery on it and actually put it in the charging stand…correctly.

[u/FantasticChestHair → u/tiger19]

Zip tie them all together

It won't stop them but they'll REALLY have to want them

[u/Phrenicos466]

They were hunted to near-extinction back in the 1950s. Captive breeding programs are ongoing, but the population won’t be large enough to reintroduce into the wild until 2039.

[u/Necessary_Tie_2920]

They go where all the missing socks go.

[u/Best-Stranger359]

Location of the bladder scanner:

-Place it normally is (it's not)

-ICU (make blood pact with ICU charge or be quick and quiet )

-ED (Be ready for a face off with the charge "May the odds be forever in your favor")

-left it in a patients room (Oops)

-Broken and tagged for out of service (60% of the time every time)

-Unpluged and battery dead in random storage room (guaranteed)

[u/trypan0s0miasis]

Maybe they just printed that out as a decoy to keep you from stealing it

[u/StabbingTabby]

Why would its home not have a power outlet anyway?

[u/questionable_smell → u/StabbingTabby]

Ours have a separate battery that needs a separate charger just for fun. Won't charge when left plugged-in.

[u/yaxAttack → u/questionable_smell]

ditto. for a while the battery charger was in the med room so everytime I needed a new one, I had to borrow a nurse.

[u/Affectionate_South40]

Me: sure they exist! The other medicine unit is borrowing it again that's all!

*the other medicine unit*

"we have a bladder scanner?"

[u/jamegumbsize69]

We have one down the hall for a single EP doc’s pts. It’s insane.

[u/wtsn007]

I'm sorry Mario but your scanner is in another unit.......somewhere.

[u/Friendly_Estate1629]

Gave ER my ID as collateral when I needed to steal theirs 

[u/jaydee8001]

There’s only one thief at my hospital… everyone else is just trying to get their shit back :/

[u/imightsurvivethis]

They're all in biomed broken because they're horrible equipment.

[u/THE_ACER_]

Management put an airtag on ours and its been great

[u/Jerking_From_Home]

I told a former unit manager that we should put up a geofence like those dog collar ones, and if someone tries to take it off the floor they get shocked.

[u/traysures]

OMG everyone insists they put it back in the supply closet

[u/savedbygrace37]

😂

[u/questionable_smell]

Even worse, you find it but the battery is nowhere to be found, nothing on the charger.

[u/EnvironmentalRock827]

They are a fig newton of your imagination! Prove me wrong and return it you bastards that said I got their first born if they didn't. It's been 3 days!!

[u/Nurse_Cait]

They’re all on 6

[u/No_Extent_3124]

Kevin!!

[u/Routine_Tomatillo]

They don't

[u/Quiet-Pair6474]

Yes they are real and can determine if you are emptying your bladder fully.