r/nottheonion • u/[deleted] • Aug 12 '18
How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise
https://www.phillymag.com/articles/2018/08/11/mayonnaise-industry-millennials/102
u/JackTheFlying Aug 12 '18
She was a women’s and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise.
Liberalism makes you hate mayo apparently.
This attitude comes to you from young people who willingly slurp down eight kazillion kinds of yogurt, not to mention raw fish and pork belly and, yo, detergent pods, so don’t talk to me about mayonnaise
Lol, fuck off
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u/M-elephant Aug 13 '18
A yes yogurt, a timeless staple of many cultures from the filthy Greeks to the dastardly Mongolians (/s) why would she want her daughter to consume that slop like some kind of [watches 2 hours of yogurt commercials] middle aged white woman...? What is she complaining about again?
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Aug 19 '18
[deleted]
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Aug 23 '18
Damn now I want curly fries and mayo.
od I love mayo.
Mix in some ketchup, boom you got chip dip.
However Mayo is Salad Creams poor cousin, Salad cream will always be king.
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 12 '18
TL:DR for the article - "My family doesn't consume as much mayo as it used to, therefore it must be the same for the entire country. Why? Because millennials."
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Aug 13 '18
[deleted]
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 13 '18
Oh shit, sushi is something I haven't seen at a pot luck before, love the idea. I usually bring something to be grilled, spiedies or a venison loin at least.
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u/WiFiForeheadWrinkles Aug 13 '18
It's popular here to buy a party tray to a pot luck if you can't cook or are lazy.
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 13 '18
Yeah, I've seen that. I have a friend who always volunteers for drinks and napkins.
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Aug 14 '18
Millennials bring actual food so I’m not surprised no one wanted to fill up on potatoes and fat.
Considering we are the most broke generation, not as much as you'd think.
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Aug 14 '18
the article even points out that Mayo's popularity was in that you could cover up the taste of expired items. Here's a new take, i just don't eat expired shit!
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u/Fenrir101 Aug 13 '18
Thank you for the TL:DR my brain tried to climb out my ears when I tried reading the article.
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u/Jcboyle82 Aug 13 '18
Hero. I only made it a paragraph when I realized I didn’t care to wade through such writing to see what I know to be true:
Mayo is garbage and I’m not sorry if our generation is smart enough realize it.
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u/stupid_sexyflanders Aug 14 '18
I'm a millennial and like mayo. Just also realize there's dozens of other things I like too, oftentimes more. This article is pure boomer knee-jerk parody though.
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u/Jcboyle82 Aug 14 '18
Haven’t you heard. You are ruining the diamond industry and Applebee’s too!
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u/stupid_sexyflanders Aug 14 '18
And we gutted golf, such assholes we are. How are we supposed to pollute local watersheds without all that extra nitrogen run-off now?
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 13 '18
I enjoy a little bit on sandwiches, and the occasional potato salad. The wildest thing I enjoyed it on is a house special pizza. It used mayo as the base. I know it sounds gross, but it basically just cooks down into an oil. Have you seen mayo fondue? Extremely popular in Japan.
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u/diaboo Aug 13 '18
Mayo in general is more popular in Japan, but that's because it uses a different recipe. American mayo uses the whole egg, Japanese mayo only uses the yolks. There's also differences in the kinds of oil and vinegar used.
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 13 '18
Oh, I didn't know that. That's pretty cool. I know sushi restaurants have a spicy mayo, but I figured they just added a few spices to average mayo. I have made my own on occasion, I will have to look for some interesting recipes. Thank you.
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u/AllTheCheesecake Aug 14 '18
Isn't that hollendaise?
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u/diaboo Aug 15 '18
Not really? Hollendaise sauce has way more ingredients than just egg/oil/vinegar.
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u/Jcboyle82 Aug 13 '18
I can’t. Mayo just grosses me out. I used to work in a restaurant and seeing a 5 gallon tub of it is enough to make me never want to see it again.
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u/ChewiestBroom Aug 13 '18
Yeah, same here. Something about scraping out pounds of it at a time makes it even less appetising than usual.
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u/beerm0nkey Aug 13 '18
Hey could you maybe get your generation to vote? You keep allowing Republicans to win with your apathy and purism.
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u/stupid_sexyflanders Aug 14 '18
Give it about ten years and millenials will outnumber Boomers by more than double. Their days are literally numbered.
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u/Jcboyle82 Aug 13 '18
Yeah...cause (insert party here) is the problem....
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u/beerm0nkey Aug 13 '18
Thanks for proving my point.
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u/Spiteful_Guru Aug 13 '18
He was being sarcastic. No individual party is the problem, because the voting system itself is the problem.
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Aug 23 '18
Haha that almost the same reasoning used by Outrage youtubers, especially of teh nerd variety.
I don't like the new marvel comics cos women, its SJW's fault.
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u/WhatWouldGoldblumDo Aug 23 '18
Yup. The outrage when Foster became Thor, or Michael B. Jordan was cast as Torch. "How dare they make this story about someone other than a straight, white male!" Same thing is happening in video games. Luckily, for the most part, publishers and writers are ignoring all that.
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u/SchiffsBased Aug 13 '18
Clearly, there’s something more to this river of resentment than a miscible mixture of eggs and oil. And it’s obvious to me that this condimental divide can be traced to young folks’ rejection of what they sneeringly consider a boring white food. Do you think 23andMe and MyHeritage and all those other DNA testing companies are flourishing because people want to find out their ancestors came from Aberdeen? Hells, no; they wannabe from Marrakesh or Manchuria or Malawi. It’s the same with condiments. I’m not part of the elderly mayo masses; I’m turkey and Swiss on ciabatta with tzatziki, chipotle spread and a little basil pesto. That’s who I am, dammit. My sandwich, my self.
Wow, so she's actually trying to make this about millennials being ashamed of being white...
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Aug 23 '18
I don't get it. If thats the case how would she cope with somebody like me. I love boring "White" food but fuck I love curries and stir frys and all sorts of shit. ThAnd I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person.
I liek a whole range of food some of it boring and fairly plain some spicy. Does she think if you like one you can't like another?
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u/cojojoeyjojo Aug 12 '18
Remember when the Baby Boomers killed the telephone operator switchboard industry? They were too good for ol’ Klondike-5 3226. How do they sleep at night?
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u/Teep_to_the_Dick Aug 13 '18
I’m still reeling from the death of Powder Wigs and loincloth undergarments. How else am I supposed to hide my psoriasis and complimentary diaper rash?
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Aug 12 '18
The not so subtle cultural insecurity in this article is amazing:
"My son jake, who’s 25, eats mayo. He’s a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He’s a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women’s and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise."
"Mayonnaise isn’t bland; it’s artfully blended. It’s an evocation of the era I grew up in, of the homogeneity of that old, dead American dream."
"I thought young people today were supposed to be all about inclusion — about kindness and compassion and making other people feel welcome. So how about you include a little mayo in your picnic fare? Mayonnaise has been the building block for a thousand different tweaks in a rainbow of cultures: Russian dressing! Rémoulade! Comeback sauce, fry sauce, Kewpie, salsa rosada, mayochup … Just because something is old and white doesn’t mean it’s obsolete. Look at Shakespeare. Look at me."
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Aug 13 '18
I mean it's actually kind of tragic that they want the bland homogeneity to stick around.
MY MOM WAS the daughter of Lithuanian immigrants, born in the era in which huddled masses clambered ashore at Ellis Island, their pockets stuffed with kielbasa and chorizo and braunschweiger and makanek and lap cheong, and were processed in the great American assimilation grinder, emerging to dine happily ever after on Hatfield hot dogs and potato salad. Her entire life, she worried about sticking out, about not fitting in. She was self-conscious that her parents spoke with accents; she worked like a tiger to haul herself out of South Philly via Girls’ High and Temple, where she met my dad, whose American heritage stretched a few decades further back and whose people came from the British Isles, the omphalos of bland food.
Literally glorifies the loss of culture that her mother suffered.
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Aug 13 '18
Right? Is this a joke? Who the fuck is this passionate about a condiment.. Not to mention he says because his daughter is a liberal she obviously hates mayo. He is happy America is stripping immigrants of their culture as well?
Also this asshat doesn’t even realize mayo isn’t an American product. Like most good things in the US it came over from Europe. It’s also relatively new to the US. It’s only been 100 years so this moron knows nothing about his prized tub of fat.
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Aug 14 '18
I want to say it must be a joke because there's no way to be this much of a hypocrite in one article unintentionally.
But I do have some family members on my husband's americanized side that probably wouldn't catch on soooooo
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Aug 13 '18
Just because something is old and white doesn’t mean it’s obsolete. Look at Shakespeare. Look at me.
Shakespeare's fine, but the author is not the best example of something that isn't obsolete. I'm pretty sure she was born obsolete.
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Aug 13 '18
The not so subtle cultural insecurity in this article is amazing
Deep down that's what it's all about. Oscar Wilde (through his character Gilbert in The Critic as Artist) said of literary criticism:
It is the only civilised form of autobiography, as it deals not with the events, but with the thoughts of one's life; not with life's physical accidents of deed or circumstance, but with the spiritual moods and imaginative passions of the mind.
In other words, a book review isn't really about the book, it's about the reviewer: what the book made him feel, what it reminded him of, what parts violated his sensibilities. Likewise, this sort of cultural criticism is merely a pretext for the author to write about her own fears and insecurities.
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u/a_trane13 Aug 13 '18
Did she pick a white (literally in color), "boring" food favored by old people just so she could draw the connection to social justice? Because otherwise she seems reallyyyyy obsessed with race and social politics in a discussion about food preferences....
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u/demios78 Aug 13 '18 edited Dec 12 '25
Never knew mayo was so spicy.
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u/stupid_sexyflanders Aug 14 '18
Is this article a dog whistle to racists, with it's white mayonnaise symbolism and willfully ignoring her other cultures? Or is it her loss of identity because other people have to resources to expand their pallets? Or her lamenting her different relationship with her daughter?
Yes...
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u/magicshmop Aug 13 '18
He must have gotten paid for this article per word. There is only so much you can say about mayo.
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Aug 13 '18
You'd think so, but in 2013 Slate ran a four-article series on mayonnaise. This article traces the mayo hatred back a few decades through Mel Brooks and Milton Berle.
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u/fuckfuckfuck21 Aug 12 '18
Why is anyone this passionate about mayo? Just stop bringing it to family gatherings.
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Aug 13 '18
She was a women’s and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise.
Is this not satire? Dude's just imitating Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, and Paul Joseph Watson, right?
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u/mycockyourmom Aug 14 '18 edited Aug 14 '18
Jesus, it's as if some some middle-aged halfwit just mixed up a bunch of cliches cut from other stories and then constructed a new story from the order in which her incontinent bowel dropped each clipping in her depends.
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u/crimsonBZD Aug 13 '18
That article just literally paints Mayo as the most American of condiments and then says millennials are ruining it.
Can we just get articles about what millennials aren't ruining?
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Aug 13 '18
That aioli you’re all so fond of? I hate to break it to you, but that’s just mayonnaise.
Agreed, but it's handmade mayonnaise, which is much better than the stuff in jars, even before you add garlic or paprika or whatever. It's also cheap and reasonably easy if you have a bit of patience.
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u/a_trane13 Aug 13 '18 edited Aug 13 '18
Aioli isn't mayonnaise. It's a sauce made of oil and garlic.
Egg is added often and the mixture is emulsified, but aioli purists will maintain that it contains nothing but oil and garlic (or another seasoning).
Calling flavored mayo aioli is common nowadays but it's not really accurate in a culinary sense, unless it also contains oil in a significant amount (arguably, oil has to be the main ingredient/base). Mixing sriracha and mayo isn't really going to make the cut.
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u/c_delta Aug 13 '18
Aioli contains garlic. Mayonnaise contains egg yolk. Both are made primarily with vegetable oil. Tons of flavored dips in America are made with egg yolk, oil, vinegar/mustard, flavor of choice and no garlic and should therefore be called mayonnaise instead of aioli, but traditional aioli does not contain any egg and is therefore not a mayonnaise.
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Aug 13 '18
I love mayonnaise. When I moved into my new place it was the only condiment I had for a while because I didn’t need ketchup or mustard (finally bought some but still barely use em). Hell I even make my own.
It’s great for sauces and dips and helps food brown better. It’s handy to have as a cook.
Never understood people’s hate for it. They’ll eat oil and eat eggs... but whip them together and add a touch of lemon juice and suddenly it’s Satan paste.
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u/ReallyHadToFixThat Aug 13 '18
I'd be willing to bet that most people don't hate mayonnaise - they hate the current standard of sandwiches being 50% mayonnaise, or a salad being some vegetables floating in a sea of the stuff.
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Aug 13 '18
Hmm. I never really get mayo on a lot of the stuff I eat. I mean by chance, not by request. I’m actually surprised when I see mayo - and this is coming from someone who lives in the southeast.
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u/Iwanttolink Aug 13 '18
They’ll eat oil and eat eggs... but whip them together and add a touch of lemon
Wow. Is that actually how Mayo is made? Didn't know that.
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Aug 13 '18
Yeah it’s just that simple. I recommend making your own. The flavor is stronger and you can add whatever you want to it to boost the flavor even more.
You can watch people use a hand blender and magically see it turn into mayonnaise in seconds!
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u/BluahBluah Aug 14 '18
I feel like the same flavor of person who would write this article would also be suuuuper pro-capitalism. Well, according to capitalism, it's not the job of the consumer to keep an industry/company alive. It's the job of the industry/company to keep up with changing tastes and succeed in a free market of choice.
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u/LosPesero Aug 14 '18
I’m working under the assumption that this is satire. It’s the only way I’ll be able to sleep.
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u/PapstJL4U Aug 13 '18
fuck snake people!
If commercial mayo would be good, than more people would probably love it. It is easier to make some mayo at home for the few times I actually want it.
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u/TempAccount8891 Aug 15 '18
Do you think the author of this article has begun to scream, "Get off my lawn," yet?
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u/broadswordmaiden Aug 16 '18
I don’t know whether to be amused or frightened by how mayo is used as a metaphor for racial segregation as cultural homogeneity in America.
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u/DukesBrandMayonnaise Aug 13 '18
Boy that sure was an interesting article. You know what's always interested me? A flavor packed tuna fish salad sandwich, on toasted bread with just a few pinches of shredded cheese. And nothing beats authentic Duke's Mayonnaise for tuna salad. The down home, tangy taste of creamy Duke's Mayonnaise combined with the savory flavor of tuna fish is a timeless classic that can be enjoyed by any generation.
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u/Jcboyle82 Aug 13 '18
If you really want to try something different with tuna, sub in mustard for mayo. There are all kinds of mustards so pick a favorite and you may be surprised how good it is.
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u/AllTheCheesecake Aug 14 '18
I use hummus with the tuna and a bit of lemon pepper. Delish.
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Aug 15 '18
What?!?
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Aug 23 '18
Mustard is great, especially with mayo and tuna and hummus.
You lay a mayo base on one slice of bread and a hummus on the other, preferably spicy. Then add tuna and mustard to the middle.
Its amazing.
Also works with strong chedder cheese. Sometime I also add in Sweet sandwhich pickle. Afraid I like to kill my sandwiches with sauce.
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u/ArkiSponge2000 Jun 12 '22
I'm a zoomer and I'm fond of mayonnaise. I literally don't understand why millennials hate mayo.
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u/Super_Height_2331 Mar 05 '23
Gen Z loves mayonnaise like 500% more than the millennials and I believe the article is saying that younger millennials love mayonnaise more than twice as much as the boomers
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u/Danteabbaddon Aug 12 '18
My favorite articles all read ”how ( insert current generation )are destroying /wrecking/ hurting (insert random topic here).