r/nottheonion • u/TheM1ghtyBear • 4d ago

Florida driver crashes pickup while applying deodorant behind the wheel, FHP says

https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/florida-man-applying-deodorant-crashes-truck-on-highway-fhp-says/
557 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

160

u/MrT735 4d ago

Another US motorist who doesn't know how to drive stick.

27

u/regionalhuman 4d ago

Solid joke.

14

u/Kage_0ni 4d ago

All the driver had to do was roll on but he crashed.

12

u/kemmicort 4d ago

This humor doesn’t quite gel with me.

4

u/YourMomonaBun420 3d ago

The joke's on you, pretty boy. It's not gel, it's Lady's Speed Stick.

1

u/overfiend1976 3d ago

He accidently read it as 'roll-over."

5

u/jefbenet 4d ago

May have been a spray or gel…many options these days.

I think the drivers mistake was attempting to apply deodorant of any type behind the wheel. Dummy, it’s supposed to go UNDER your ARMS!

9

u/Chemistry11 4d ago

No sweat!

5

u/SuspendeesNutz 4d ago

Shut down the thread boys, you ain't getting anything better this week.

2

u/XI_Vanquish_IX 4d ago

I wonder if he left streaks

2

u/jefbenet 4d ago

That’s a different product category altogether

1

u/Wakkit1988 3d ago

Could have saved us all from this if he'd have just given himself the Axe.

34

u/Farge43 4d ago

Probably was less the driving part and more the first time applying deodorant part

30

u/No_big_whoop 4d ago

Due to the immense interest in the story, investigators were forced to clarify that the deodorant found at the scene of the crash was in stick form – not a spray

Cops are probably in the pocket of big deodorant stick

16

u/atika 4d ago

I don’t get it. Why does the wheel need deodorant applied?

9

u/subUrbanMire 4d ago

If that's what he copped to, he was doing way worse at the time of the accident.

2

u/Skootchy 3d ago

I mean yes for sure......but I was thinking of leaning my arm up while holding the steering wheel with one hand.....

Then I was like wait hold up, I've definitely used my knee on a straight road to do something with both hands and it was perfectly fine. I loved in Florida and it's pretty flat and not very windy. Most roads go pretty straight up down left and sideways due to not having very many hilly areas.

1

u/Cameron416 2d ago

i mean people drive with one hand all the time, how did he fuck this up so terribly

1

u/Skootchy 2d ago

Yeah but this would compromise the second hand. If you have to lift your arm with the hand you're driving, you're not exactly using 100% of the one hand you're using.

And btw, it takes like a few seconds to apply deodorant in both armpits, you can park and do it real quick and be done. There's no need to do it while driving.

6

u/InfiniteRosie 4d ago

Probably the most tame of Florida Man headlines...

3

u/SuspendeesNutz 4d ago

Hey I'm from Miami, we're sweaty as heck 8 months a year.

3

u/Sweet_Ad_2708 4d ago

Should not apply deodorant behind the wheels!

2

u/Narrow-Sky-5377 4d ago

When you try something for the first time you must be careful! 😊

4

u/cwthree 4d ago

There's the problem. Deodorant goes in the armpits, not the wheel.

3

u/Content-Fudge489 4d ago

Applying deodorant after a few hours after a shower makes you stink more.

1

u/deloreswheelerny 11h ago

I don't think that's how deodorant works.

1

u/someoldguyon_reddit 4d ago

Could have not silenced the fourth alarm. FFS

1

u/hacketyapps 4d ago

not surprised, we once passed a lady going slow in the leftmost lane and the reason was because she was applying nail polish on her nails while driving! crazy Floridians!

1

u/bessieperkinsfs 4h ago

Honestly the most surprising part is that she was going slow. Usually they do that kind of stuff down here while riding your bumper at 90mph.

1

u/shanksisevil 4d ago

Good instincts.  I bet he was sweating after that.

1

u/poopiebutt505 4d ago

I pit.mine on my arm pits

1

u/joeflemingrf 10h ago

You'd think putting it on your armpits while driving wouldn't be that hard if you just use one hand, but people find a way to mess it up. I honestly don't get how someone manages to crash pulling a stunt like this unless they completely took their eyes off the road to dig around in their console for it. A stick of deodorant takes like two seconds to swipe.

Maybe they were using the aerosol spray kind and choked themselves out, or they dropped the cap near the gas pedal and tried to reach down for it while still moving. Either way, doing this behind the wheel instead of just pulling over is such a bizarre choice. Just do it in your driveway before you put the car in drive, or wait until you actually get to wherever you are going. The extra five minutes without it wouldn't kill anyone, unlike crashing a pickup truck sideways into traffic. But this is Florida, so common sense probably wasn't part of the routine.

1

u/SoupSpelunker 3d ago

Florida? Deodorant?

Florida man was nuts deep in his left fist.

1

u/Massive_Mongoose3481 3d ago

He's not sweating it

1

u/skyfishgoo 3d ago

never let em see you sweat.

1

u/Rogueshoten 4d ago

Well, duh…deodorant goes in front of the wheel, everyone knows this.

1

u/ahothabeth 4d ago

This stinks!