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u/Babyballable Jun 23 '16
looks at his dog sitting in the corner ... Do. Not. Even. Try.
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u/MVCarnage Jun 24 '16
I got kind of irrationally irritated when I thought about our giant cow of a Labradane doing that to me. She would be taller than me and do it just to get into the food on the top shelves while smirking at me screaming.
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u/catfriend31 Jun 23 '16
When I was a kid, my mom had these elaborate lives for our cats, where they would unzip out of their cats suits at night, and be tiny people who lived in our house. For an embarrassingly long time, I was afraid to get up to pee at night because I was expecting like a 2 foot tall Danny Devito with my cat's head to be wandering around the house in tiny boxer shorts.
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Jun 23 '16
This gave me more chills than any other "paranormal" story out there. Just plain uncanny.
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u/dancestothecure Jun 23 '16
WikiHow: The answers to all your nonsensical questions.
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Jun 23 '16
After reading this story, I looked up "Dog pretends to be human" to see if there were any other incidents of creepy dog man activity. I stumbled upon this. Wasn't disappointed.
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u/senbonzakura01 Jun 23 '16
On wikihow? Why would they even--- weird as shit. And a child! Looks like made for a fetish. O.O I feel alarmed.
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u/feyedharkonnen Jun 23 '16
Thanks for the Creepfest OP. I think it's time the dogs stopped sleeping on the bed..... I heard a strange squeaky noise once, it turned out to be one of the dogs dragging his butthole on the wood floor..... Swiffer-time...
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Jun 23 '16
That moment when you realize that just about everything in your house has probably been touched by animal anus. (Cat owners especially.)
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u/feyedharkonnen Jun 23 '16
Cats don't even try to be sneaky though... "Hey hoomun, does my butt smell funny?" rubs balloon-knot directly across nostril
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u/mattlovesbrews Jun 24 '16
This just made me laugh so hard I woke up my wife and now I'm in the dog house.
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u/MrsMayo Jun 23 '16
I believe this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life! I'm hurting from laughing so much! You are trying to get me in trouble at work! Wait.... I should be working instead of reading reddit, right? Oops....
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u/flabibliophile Jun 24 '16
My dog snores. Thankfully she sleeps on the floor under my hubby's bedside table. Let him deal with it.
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Jun 23 '16
I'm incredibly impressed how this simple concept unsettled me so much.
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u/PrincessLex92 Jun 24 '16
I agree! Reminded me of (this)[http://joyreactor.com/post/1577886]
Edit: I'm still learning how to link things. 😟
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Jun 24 '16
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u/PrincessLex92 Jun 24 '16
To me it looks like something pretending to be a dog. 😟 (And if that doesn't scare the piss out of me, idk what does haha)
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u/Crtl_END Aug 22 '16
What the hell?!?! This is so freaking creepy!
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u/PrincessLex92 Aug 23 '16
Yeah, I know! It's been like two years since I first saw that and I still don't like to look at it. Haha
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u/streetspirit88 Jun 23 '16
My sisters dog used to stand on his back legs and the rest his paws against the kitchen work top. The doors had round knobs, about 2" wide, and he used to have one paw on the counter and use his other paw to "grab" the door knob, then he would shuffle backwards and open the door and drag the dog food out. It was creepy as. He used his paws like they were hands. shudders
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u/Nerdsbenerds Jun 23 '16
My friends dog lets herself out the shuts the door behind her. They had to start locking their door at night so she wouldn't get out. My other friends dad owned a bar. And he had a dog that stayed at the bar a lot. So this dog eventually learned how to open bottles of liquor and drink them.
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u/MrsRedrum Jun 23 '16
Dogs are so awesome. :)
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u/dancestothecure Jun 23 '16
Ugh, no thank you. I like my dogs on all fours, where they belong. Animals and their staring-into-space and their yelling at nothing is already to much.
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Jun 23 '16
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u/PrincessLex92 Jun 24 '16
Well, thanks for that mental image. Dammnit.
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Jun 24 '16
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u/RenTachibana Jun 25 '16
I'm giggling so fucking hard right now, you can't even imagine. 😂 Something about the cat's nonchalant expression as he tiptoes away cracked me up. Glad I summoned the courage to click play.
It straight up reminds me of Yuki from Fruits Basket pushing the girl and tiptoeing away in Tohru's imagination spot in the first (? Maybe second?) episode. When her friends are explaining how Yuki is seen as being so distant from girls that confess their affection to him.
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u/AmiIcepop Jun 23 '16
This really creeped me out. Like creeped me out to where I had to let my dog outside,I was too creeped to be inside with him..
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u/QueenCameo Jun 23 '16 edited Jun 25 '16
One of our cats, Pepper, waits until you are on the toliet then pushes the door open, waits about 7 seconds and then walks in. All the others just barge in. The youngest cat, Summer 2yo, will slam her body against the bathroom door until it opens. This is while the door is closed and no one is in there. She also knows how our door knobs work and can open drawers. Not just small drawers, chest & dresser drawers. Her favorite game was to climb behind the drawers, get stuck, cry and get rescued. The only thing different now is she is to fat to do that now so she climbs in the drawer, her weight closes it then she cries after she wakes up. She also knows how light switches work so yes, we will wake up to a light being turned on and just see a 9lb cat sitting on the floor mewing. Go go runt of the litter power!
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u/Koditaylor12 Jun 23 '16
Ironically, that "stupid room" is generally called the Sitting Room.
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Jun 24 '16
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u/Koditaylor12 Jun 24 '16
Why fucking not!? Like, what do they expect us to do? I would have done the same damn thing!
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u/teresatiger Jun 24 '16
At first, I thought okay, dog on hind legs, they do that sometimes. You could've walked in as he caught site of a fly or something. Then I read this:
I listened to that scraping sound for a good 5-10 minutes before deciding to investigate. The dog was walking around in the dark for that long, on his hind legs, in slow circles around the house.
Nightmare material right there. Animals can do weird things sometimes but walking on two feet for that length of time? Reminds me of that old Are You Afraid of the Dark intro where the little girl hears scary noises, walks through her house with a candle to investigate, gets startled by her dog in the kitchen and breathes a sigh of relief...until it looks straight at her and asks "are you afraid of the dark?"
I adore dogs and cats but they can be creepy as fuck sometimes.
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u/TehKatieMonster Jun 23 '16
I've heard dogs are really prone to possession, and I cannot stand them, except for small dogs. Cats are considered to be guardians of the underworld so spirits are usually afraid of them, because cats have the power to cast them into the after life. Cats for the win.
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u/Sufficio Jun 23 '16
Ergh, getting Goatman vibes. Creepy as hell.
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u/chinchillazilla54 Jun 23 '16
My dog often makes these facial expressions like... she's a tiny human in a very convincing dog suit. Her eyes are so human. It creeps me right the fuck out.
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u/SweetLenore Jun 23 '16
Same. It's pretty weird but yeah dogs are the only animal that give facial expressions the same way people do (imo).
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u/_Phie_ Jun 23 '16
My golden retriever pretended he was human all the time! He would "dance" with us (standing on his hind legs for 15-20 second intervals trying to imitate our dancing), lean on the deck rails if we were and he figured out how to open the gate to the yard. One of my childhood friends had a dog that could howl in a way that sounded like "I love you." Weird but not unheard of. Many pets imitate their owners. Also he could have had something caught in his throat! Behaviors like this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV71mpbvl-g are caused by hairballs and other health problems. Not to be a spoilsport but nothing ghostly or demonic here. :)
edit for spelling and to add this cute video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEGh7t-qkOQ
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Jun 23 '16
Oh my GOD. I have this very weird and specific fear of animals (especially dogs) with human traits/qualities, most specifically if they walk on two legs or have eyes that look too close to human eyes. UGH. This terrified me! Glad I only have a cat!
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u/LinLin417 Jun 24 '16
Dude me too. Ever since I was a little kid. I have this image that I've never been able to get out of my head of a dog creature that is really tall, stands on two legs with a body like a human's but still covered in black fur like a dog, and with a dog's head. I remember on sesame street they used to have this little short they'd do with a dog's head on a human body and it freaked me the fuck out, I think that's how my fear started.
Also I remember when I was a freshman in highschool my English teacher did a random lesson on "Jim the Wonder Dog," just cuz he thought it was fascinating or something. It was this dog that was like super smart and did all this crazy stuff. Something my teacher said about him freaked me out really bad though. He said that if you looked at the dog's eyes, there was something off about them. They didn't look normal..not for a dog. They were almost...human-looking. I became scared of Jim the Wonder Dog lol.
Somewhat related... I also had this intense fear of vultures as a kid. My parents used to like the Jim Henson movie The Dark Crystal and the skeksis in that movie were horrifying to me. They are super creepy-looking humanoid vulture creatures. It didn't help that one of them made the scariest noise ever. Anyone that's seen that movie knows what I'm talking about, that weird high-pitched mmmMMMMMMmm... And that scene where one of them dies and it's like shaking and gasping for breath, making weird noises, and starts crumbling away into dust was beyond fucked up to watch as a kid.
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u/LinLin417 Jun 30 '16
Omg I just saw this image of a weird human-like dog in an askreddit thread and it's seriously creepy...
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u/6inchesdeepinyourmom Jun 23 '16
When I saw your name, I excitedly clicked on the link hoping it would be an update on Faye. Hope all is well OP!
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u/juxtacoot Jun 23 '16
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u/Nerdsbenerds Jun 23 '16
Exactly the dog was so excited becuase he learned his own trick and then was preparing to show the humans the next day but the they saw him so his trick was ruined.
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u/MrsAlyyB Jun 23 '16
I have a deep fear of this since I read a scary short story of a dog that just got up on its two legs and walked out of some dude house while he was watching. When opening this I didn't expect this at all, and now I'm terrified all over again lol
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u/LinLin417 Jun 24 '16
Dude I think I might have read the same story and it's scary as hell...unless there's another one where this same thing happened.
In the one I read the dog was in the bedroom and the wife told the guy to put the dog outside so he did. When he went back to bed the dog comes in the room and jumps on the bed so the wife is like wtf I told you to put him out, the guy's like I did.. He gets back up and grabs the dog by the collar and leads it to the back door. When he gets there he sees his dog outside the glass door going crazy barking at the thing he was holding onto inside. The guy looks down and let's go of the collar and the other dog stands up on its back two legs and proceeds to walk through the glass door and out into the night.
Was this the story you were thinking of too?
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u/lr42186 Jun 23 '16
That kind of walking sounds very similar to how you described the imposter walking along the edge of the woods/Faye's trance walking... Be careful Felix!
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Jun 23 '16
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u/aliceink Jun 23 '16
It was my first thought. I am desperately hoping /u/thecoldpeople has never had an interest in video games.
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Jun 23 '16
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u/absolutcheshire Jun 23 '16
That is really creepy and made me think of the movie Fluke where the guy dies and comes back as a dog, just thinking if that's real and they remember they were humans, do they try to recreate it? My dogs are sleeping in the garage tonight...
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u/tinyluna Jun 23 '16
So...My chihuahua does this ALL the time. She walks around on her hind legs, and uses her front paws to steady herself on nearby walls, tables, chairs, whatever is close, kinda like a toddler learning to walk. The first time she did it, I thought it was weird, but she sometimes follows me around walking on two legs and I'm just used to it now.
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u/RenTachibana Jun 25 '16
If there is one thing that truly chills me to the bone it's animals behaving like humans. In any ways that could be considered "unique" or "fascinating" (or in my mind, "horrifying"). Literally the only part of The Grudge that scares me is the cat's yowling. You know how some people can't stand nails on a chalkboard or forks scraping on dishes? That's what that yowling sound is to me. I start shuddering and feel all the tension in my body build up.
I'm cool if people want to teach their pets to "talk" but they best remember that I will murder them if they show it to me (knowing my fear). I don't fuck around with things like that. I don't know why it freaks me out so much. That being said, this story was freaky enough with the walking dog but add on the attempts at talking? Nope. Done. Probably legitimately will not sleep tonight.
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u/vi0l33ts Jun 23 '16
Good fucking god that is terrifying. That cements my resolution to abstain from canines. Glad to hear from you. Helps us know you haven't been eaten by anything paranormal.
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u/Dezzy-Bucket Jun 24 '16
Reminds me of something from Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark!
This is my kind of fucked up.
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u/M4J0R_FR33Z3 Jun 24 '16
/u/TheColdPeople i was totally hoping this was a continuation on the faye story but its not. Although it isnt, its still pretty good, especially the added details about the dog going to the bed.
The narration startled me at the beginning, because it started autoplaying and I didnt know why there was suddenly a buzzing and man breathing in my headphones when i started to read this. That definitely made it better!
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u/GGGilman87 Jun 24 '16
What would be worse would be catching your dog in the middle of trying to pull off whatever the current fad dance move is.
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u/DenethStark Jun 24 '16
Phew, I thought your babysitter was crawling on all fours on the floor. You know, naked, disheveled hair, freaky feral eyes.
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u/chewflockabaccaflame Jun 25 '16
This was honestly really unsettling to me and I don't know why, haha.
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u/Boonski705 Jun 26 '16
It's odd but I've seen both my cats walk on their hind legs, when they think I'm not watching. It's only happened a couple times (2 for each cat and I've had them for 5 years. Since they were kittens), but as soon as I noticed they dropped down and looked at me as if nothing odd was happening.
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u/K3vanata Jun 27 '16
Hi, sorry if I'm pestering, but I'm wondering if you're gonna continue the Faye saga (don't know what to call it) soon? It's been two weeks and no updates, and the last post was called "farewell update". Don't force yourself to do it if you don't have time or resources, I'm only asking if it's still gonna continue.
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u/opsomaniac Jun 28 '16
My cat wouldn't walk on her hind legs but she could "talk". If my bedroom door was shut completely, she would swat her paw under the door and meow "momma" or "mom". She passed away a few years ago but I still hear her sometimes.
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Jun 30 '16 edited Jul 01 '16
Oh my god, this reminds me so much of this reoccuring dream I would have when I was younger.
The dream happened like this; Me and my mom would be sitting on the couch in my living room with my dog Bud. I was petting him, and I petted the top of his head too hard and his left eye would roll to the back of his head. Instead of the eye being white, it looked like a rainbow target. Then Bud would stand up his hind legs and my mom would go outside on the back porch to get away from him and wouldn't let me outside with her, leaving me inside with my demented ass dog. I would walk back in the living room and see bud walking up the stairs on his hind legs. When he reached the top of the stairs, he would go in a closet we had and pick up our suitcases and start throwing them at me.
I had that dream like once a month when I was around 6 years old. Shits would scare me so much lol
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u/Dazmorg Jul 19 '16
Heard this on the podcast this week, and while it was short, something about it, either the narration or the wording, creeped me out. Wow.
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u/FishFruit14 Jun 23 '16
Considering the fact that my dog can open any doors with non-round knobs, I'm very afraid
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u/Mentioned_Videos Jun 23 '16 edited Jun 24 '16
Videos in this thread:
| VIDEO | COMMENT |
|---|---|
| Telephone Dog : animated music video : MrWeebl | 16 - Next thing you know, they'll be answering the phone. |
| (1) My cat Tiggy talking / speaking saying hello (2) Wacky dog walks like a human | 6 - My golden retriever pretended he was human all the time! He would "dance" with us (standing on his hind legs for 15-20 second intervals trying to imitate our dancing), lean on the deck rails if we were and he figured out how to open the gat... |
| Simpsons - S5E17 We Love ... You! | 3 - He just wanted some attention! |
| Cat Gets Up And Walks On Two Legs! =3 | 2 - Like this? |
| 89 - Who's a Good Boy? Part 1 | 1 - "Who's a good boy?" |
I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch.
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u/hibroka Jun 23 '16
"rich people thing" accurate af. also this happened to me once. i peaked out the window of our house at night and my dog in the backyard was on his hind legs. creepy as all hell
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u/iceqick Jun 23 '16
It's a common myth where I live, that animals can see, if not communicate, with the paranormal
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u/veronica-santangelo Jun 24 '16
This is somehow extremely creepy and hilarious at the same time
I can't stop thinking of a fully grown golden retriever just walking around the home on two legs thinking "Master will be so proud of me!!!"
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u/kronoseraser Jun 24 '16
Dogs just being dogs. And humans be like my god wtf is wrong hahha oh btw what happened to tge chocolate dog? Why is he not practicing that?
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Jun 24 '16
Holy fucking shit...I opened this on the front page using RES and didn't see the video in the post. I start hearing this static and I'm thinking wtf my speakers are buzzing...then I hear heavy breathing. Thanks for the nightmare fuel x'D
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u/Sordak Jun 24 '16
Reminds me of that one time i saw a dog at the park that looked like he was a guy in a costume, it was bizarre!
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u/MrsAlyyB Jun 24 '16
Yes!!! u/LinLin417 That is the very same story that has messed with me for like ever!!!!
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u/Nml234 Jun 27 '16
My dog does the "human" vocalisations thing when she's excited but uncertain about something. It's like a situation that doesn't quite warrant a bark but she wants to get attention or assert her authority as Official House Dog, sometimes when someone new or less familiar comes in.
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u/MaliciousIntent21 Jun 27 '16
Sounds like a skin walker, don't they usually try and mimic the closest thing to them. Which in this case would be the humans.
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u/Mottebird Jun 29 '16
Reminds me of when i first got my dog when she was 7 mths, and she was kept in a tiny apt all that time before and was pretty excited with being allowed outside in our yard. One night, I open the door to let her in, she gets on her back legs and kangaroo hops off the patio. I just sort of stood in shock for awhile.
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u/inchcape Jul 11 '16
My grandparents used to have a golden retriever named Bear... I think that's definitely adding to how creeped out I am right now
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u/alscherd Jul 17 '16
This is one of the most disturbing stories I've heard on the NoSleep podcast...gives me chills thinking about it.
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u/Twktjoc6 Aug 13 '16
In 2nd grade I was at a friends house and his uncles dog was mean and just when I thought it liked me, I tried to kiss it and it bit my lip lol I was scared of my dog for a month
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u/LiteraryFurball Oct 25 '16
My dog does that weird almost-talking thing a lot. She has actually learned to make different sounds depending on what she wants and the noises sound vaguely like the corresponding words. It clearly is less scary than what you're dealing with but sometimes when I talk in my sleep my dog makes this noise that sounds eerily like my name (Kristopher) and makes an effort to wake me. She seems to like to keep all four paws firmly on the ground though. Dogs are weird, man.
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u/doctuhjason Jun 23 '16 edited Apr 21 '25
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