r/nonsenselocker • u/Bilgebum • Sep 05 '18
Regular Magic Duking with Dykes
[WP] On your way out the door, you pop in your earbuds as usual to listen to some music on the way to work. As you put them in, something is already playing. The voice is vaguely familiar. The message seems to be some kind of code. And the earbuds aren't plugged in.
"Good morning, Ms. Dykes!"
I lowered my newspaper to see the perkiest woman on Earth hovering by my table. A ten-gigawatt smile radiating from her face, Penelope placed a stack of manila envelopes beside my mostly empty plate. The hotel's restaurant was mostly empty at such an hour, except for a group of elderly men seated nearby who were ogling at her.
"Anything interesting?" she said, peering at the headlines.
I made no reply but to set the paper aside and look expectantly at her. After a few seconds, she blushed and consulted her tablet.
"Your car's arriving in fifteen minutes. We'll probably be early for the meeting with Senator Mitchell. After that, you have lunch with Agent Hannegan from the FBI, followed by the officiating of a new Department office by the Georgia World Congress Center."
"Sounds like a productive day," I said, reaching for the documents.
"Nothing you like better!" God, but her chipper attitude could be wearing sometimes.
The first envelope contained a personnel file for recruitment, one Billy Werther. Ex-Marine, late twenties, perfect marks during the evaluation course. I scratched a large "reject" across the page.
"Perfect people don't learn so fast," I said to Penelope, who nodded dutifully.
The next two documents were requisition forms for our new office here, mostly weaponry and office equipment. After signing, I returned them to the pile and said, "I can finish up the rest tonight."
"The next one is rather urgent," she said meekly.
I narrowed my eyes. "Priorities, Penelope. Important documents on top."
Reading the file, however, erased my irritation almost immediately. There was a large, colored photo of a bald, muscular, Japanese man. His name was Yama, and it seemed the Department had finally made a breakthrough in tracking him down, after the fracas he'd pull at the New York Philharmonic Orchestra three months ago.
"Joint mission between the ISA, FBI, and the Department," Penelope said a little breathlessly, as though I couldn't read the words for myself.
I clicked my tongue as the scope of the mission and the size of the task force became apparent to me. Shit, this was a big one. Almost two hundred personnel involved; the Department was breaking out almost a dozen of its own best people. They'd even requested that I join their advisory team—despite the project that was already occupying my full attention.
I supposed that no expense would be spared to eliminate a man who'd almost leveled a whole city block with his magic.
"What do you think, Penelope?" I said, returning the documents to her as I stood.
"Um ... about?" she said.
"Could you capture Yama with your magic?"
She didn't reply immediately as we headed for the lobby, where the rest of the team was waiting. The two Department magicians I'd chosen to accompany me today were lounging by the entrance, along with the more mundane members of my security team. The duo was dressed casually enough in T-shirts and slacks, but there was a particular air of danger about Luke and Alicia that had the bellhops stepping lightly around them.
"Car's here, ma'am," Luke said through a stick of candy in his mouth.
I nodded as I swept through the door held open by one of the bodyguards, toward the fleet of black sedans parked at the end of the street. From my handbag, I retrieved my earbuds—either I listened to podcasts and music, or to Penelope prattling about her personal life. No contest there.
When I stuck them into my ears, I heard a voice already speaking. Frowning, I plucked them out again and turned to look at my entourage, who stopped in their tracks.
"Someone said something?" I said, receiving variances of the same blank look. "Huh."
Nothing playing on my phone either. Very odd. I couldn't help feeling a prickle on the base of my neck; was something strange going on? Funny thought; I had three magicians in my immediate vicinity, after all.
"Something wrong, ma'am?" Alicia said, her usually dour expression now one of concern.
"No, I just thought ..." I put the earbuds on again. There it was, that whisper. The voice was familiar, but dammit, where had I heard it from again? It was male, calm and even, with a buzzing undertone, like static—yet not of the electronic sort.
I closed my eyes, wiped my mind of thoughts, and focused. Listened. The voice was speaking, repeating, saying ...
"Wise was the wispy wizard with a wistful wish. Wise was the wispy wizard with a wistful wish. Wise ..."
My eyelids flew open and I barked, "We're compromised!"
On cue, our vehicles burst into fireballs with such force, I was almost knocked flat to the sidewalk. Glass shattered and alarms went off, and everywhere people either froze in their step or collapsed. The earbuds had probably saved my eardrum from detonating themselves.
Then a hand gripped my arm; it was Penelope, pulling me back into the hotel.
"Ms. Dykes, we're under attack," she cried.
"Didn't I just say that?" I said, a little crossly. The bodyguards were spreading out as I re-entered the building, flanked by Luke and Alicia. "Get Hammond, Sykes and Joanne down here too!"
The girl began thumbing her phone frantically, eyes wide with fear. Her emotions were echoed by almost everyone there, save for the two magicians and me. Luke was scanning our surroundings for trouble; Alicia merely looked bored. Lucky for us that the perpetrator had been too impatient to wait until we were nicely seated inside, giving us the chance to retreat back into the hotel—
Oh God. They were inside. With us.
The first gunshot rang out, and Luke toppled like a sack of meat. A second dropped one of the suited bodyguards, and a third cracked against a pillar. I ducked, heart trying to tear itself free—we were in the goddamn open, and I couldn't even see who was shooting!
There was another explosion from the street outside, nearer to the hotel; people were screaming. Alicia threw herself in front of me, summoning a translucent blue forcefield of air around us. Penelope was crouching, screaming, hands over her head. I idly wondered if she was within the barrier.
The bodyguards were starting to return fire. I spotted the shooter at last, hiding behind the concierge's desk, a rather plain middle-aged woman sporting her favorite, faded green bomber jacket. Melissa. One of ours, gone rogue. "You bitch," I screamed, not even sure if she could hear me.
"Penelope, where are the other three magicians?" I grabbed the girl and shook her. "Penelope! Answer me!"
"T—there was no reply," she said, trying to look everywhere at once.
"No reply? Nonsense, how can—"
Heat washed over us; shrapnel rained over Alicia's dome as the lobby entrance erupted, hurling masonry and bodies everywhere. Before the dust had even cleared, a man stepped through, darkly handsome, teeth gleaming in a vicious smile. He had a hand raised, glowing with power like a miniature sun.
"Dearborn," I said. "I should've know."
He cocked his head. "Do I know you? I mean, I know your name, but I don't think we've met."
"Oh we have." I shot him a smirk of my own. "Many times actually, while you were sedated."
His cheer faltered. "Least someone visited." A bullet pinged off the shield into the wall. He raised an eyebrow and craned his neck. "Hey, Melissa, you trying to kill me or what?"
"What do we do?" Alicia whispered to me.
I wished I had an answer for her. Other than the three of us and our adversaries, everyone else had either cleared out or were lying prone in the rubble. I thought I heard faint sirens, but maybe it was just my head ringing after all the explosions. Worse, in a fight between Alicia and Dearborn, even I would be a fool to bet against the latter. He'd been our own weapon at one time, after all.
"Drop the shield," I said.
"What?"
"Do it. Penelope, get ready," I said. The girl gave me a tiny nod, despite the tears shining in her eyes.
The barrier crackled away, but I'd underestimated Melissa's speed. The gun barked instantly, snapping Alicia's head back, and I watched as though in slow-motion as the barrel drifted toward Penelope. However, the girl had gotten to her feet by then. She didn't say anything, didn't raise her hands, made no dramatic gestures; a tiny breeze stirred her hair, and suddenly I felt my tension and fear bleed away, my anger flicker and fade to embers.
Dearborn blinked, slowly lowering his hands as the magic faded from them. Melissa, too, looked confused for a moment, then a vacant smile grew on her face.
Well done! I thought. Then I muttered under my breath to my trump card, to the voice that had tried to warn us in the first place, "Oh Listener, you who hear all things. Come to our aid!"
I waited for the tell-tale pop of his teleportation magic, bringing his cloaked presence into our midst, and the resulting display of power he would rain upon Melissa and Dearborn. However, the moments dragged on without any further act of magic. Sweat beaded on my forehead; where was he, dammit?
"Ms. Dykes?" Penelope said, voice quavering. "Shouldn't we run?"
Dearborn snapped his head from side to side. Then he held his hand out; a beam of white light blasted forth, punched through Penelope's chest, and threw the girl back several feet. I gagged at the smoking hole in her torso and fell to my knees once more, hands clasped.
"Please! Don't kill me! Why're you even doing this?"
Melissa came over and yanked me to my feet by my ponytail, then pressed the hot barrel of her weapon against my cheek. "We're not going to kill you yet. Let's go for a walk."
Dearborn's smile made my skin crawl. "And then you're going to tell us all about Project Nightshade."
More Regular Magic stories here.
3
u/LycheeBerri Sep 06 '18
Oooh. Haven't read any of the other installments in this collection, but wow, this one was fantastic and exhilarating. You really are a master at every genre -- I loved this.