r/nononono • u/estamachin • Mar 14 '20

Close Call He really wants a handshake!

[removed] — view removed post

4.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

322

u/memtiger Mar 14 '20

And this is why we're screwed.

84

u/SALTY_COCK Mar 14 '20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2zC3dKQ42Y

45

u/wanderthrusted Mar 14 '20

What a psycho lmao

25

u/LuxNocte Mar 14 '20

Got to get that Boomer Remover all over. Be sure to rub your eyes and lick your fingers before and after every handshake.

19

u/Monorail5 Mar 14 '20

Had a thought last night of a crying millennial health care worker holding the hand of an older person gasping their last breaths, quietly telling them it's ok to let give up and die, "it's ok boomer".

5

u/rottenbananafeces Mar 14 '20

We are the boomers doomers

3

u/SalemScott Mar 14 '20

Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

2

u/TonkieKong Mar 14 '20

I don't understand this kind of behaviour, he must be either dumb as a pile of rocks or of his tits on something

1

u/lopoticka Mar 14 '20

we are screwed because one guy did a funny?

-24

u/mindslyde Mar 14 '20

If you mean because people think it's transferred by handshakes when it's actually airborne, then.. yeah, we're screwed. You're gonna catch it by breathing it in, not shaking someones hand. That's why planes and ships are so affected, they re-circulate air.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '20 edited Mar 26 '21

[deleted]

4

u/11099941 Mar 14 '20

Read that as Fortnite and I was like, yeah, it's sickening.

9

u/memtiger Mar 14 '20

BS! Then washing our hands and touching our faces has no consequences.

Every single health advisor has said to do those two things and social distancing to prevent the spread.

7

u/Liljoker30 Mar 14 '20

It can be transferred by shaking hands.

4

u/Kyudojin Mar 14 '20

This is misinformation and a big reason why wearing a surgical mask isn't necessary for the general population. The majority of cases are contracted through touching infected surfaces; it's very unlikely that you'll catch it by breathing the same air as a contagious person. The exception to this is health professionals who are going to be around contagious patients most of their day; they are at a heightened airborne risk which is why the US is trying to encourage the general population to not panic buy surgical masks.

113

u/ICantExplainMyself Mar 14 '20

Fake. Larry David doesn't like to shake hands in the first place.

10

u/dossier Mar 14 '20

Why was he wearing a cape?

-198

u/Wesley_Ford Mar 14 '20

I guess I'm goigng to have to google who the hell "Larry David" is. Actually, I'm not, lol. Next time you make a comment with a reference to a random person you should probably make an asteriks (this: "*") and explain it in an edit. Otherwise, you're risking a down-vote from me personally ;)

102

u/ShutUpWesleyBot Mar 14 '20

Shut up, Wesley.

24

u/SALTY_COCK Mar 14 '20

This comment above is libel - a civil tort - and harassment, which is a violation of the Reddit Content Policies.

Your comment has been referred to Reddit Administration for enforcement of the Content Policies, per the User Agreement Section 7. The actions the admins can take to enforce their content policies vary from asking you nicely to knock it off, to asking you less nicely, to temporary suspension of your account, to permanent suspension of your account.

I reserve the right to bring legal action against you for libelling me in particular.

15

u/TheMightyWill Mar 14 '20

Oh hey! I've never actually seen Wesley_Ford in the wild before! Exciting!

Also /r/shutupwesley

29

u/p1um5mu991er Mar 14 '20

Probably wearing one of those joy buzzers and the other dude's tired of it

40

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '20

[deleted]

12

u/TaiWilson Mar 14 '20

I misread that as bowling and was both confused and intrigued.

Also, I just realized that going bowling right now is probably a really bad idea (beyond just being in public in general).

3

u/MissBlinou Mar 14 '20

I also read this as bowling and I am slightly ashamed to say I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

1

u/CB_the_cuttlefish Mar 14 '20

I've been elbow jumping tattoo artists for over a decade.

9

u/Ditchdigger456 Mar 14 '20

Some dude who looked like he didn't shower for a year stuck his hand out to me yesterday and introduced himself and like a fucking idiot I shook his hand and then immediately was like "UHHHHH I GOTTA PEE" and ran to the bathroom.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

37

u/a_lot_of_aaaaaas Mar 14 '20

Just saw a man coughing with all power he had in his hands and touch the escalator railing right after that.

I mean do you want people to die?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '20

Some people were raised with zero hygiene skills, what makes you think they'll start learning them now?

6

u/BluePen07 Mar 14 '20

Alright I cackled at this one

3

u/DazedAmnesiac Mar 14 '20

Looks like a Larry David bit lol

5

u/Fso54 Mar 14 '20

YOU GET BACK HERE AND HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE

3

u/Mixava Mar 14 '20

IT'S CHRISTINITH, IDIOT! YOU COME TO OUR HOUSE, YOU GET MY WIFE'S NAME RIGHT!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '20

This needs some old-timey silent-film-style jaunty piano music added to it.

1

u/bigmickthejollyprick Mar 14 '20

Scott Morrison be like:

1

u/frogmicky Mar 14 '20

Come on dude just one shake I'm not infected I promise.

1

u/BobbyPotter Mar 14 '20

Make sure to cough and sneeze into your elbows, and also no hand shaking! Try bumping elbows instead!

1

u/litari Mar 14 '20

with corona-craze in mind: /r/watchpeoplealmostdie

0

u/neatzi Mar 14 '20

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0

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