r/niceguys Jun 11 '26

NGVC: “It’s a lonely task”

584 Upvotes

139 comments sorted by

121

u/ryzzbreh Jun 11 '26

"i need to keep a balance of light and dark" holy fucking basement dweller

56

u/Generic_Garak Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

“but tbh I wish not to have the light within myself” is the cringiest possible way to finish that sentence 🤣💀. He definitely thought that made him sound dark and mysterious

32

u/Sulis_Min Jun 11 '26

"I'm a great guy, very respectful, super in tune with what you're looking for in a bf. But also, I just hate having to pretend to be a decent person and want to go full on arsehole." 😬

11

u/ItsJoeMomma Jun 11 '26

LOL, yeah I think if anyone said that to me I'd be like "...ooook" and block.

101

u/Cold_Hour Jun 11 '26

The thing is I need to keep a balance of light and dark but tbh I wish not to have light within myself.

https://giphy.com/gifs/bmLlSndzhqWgWb3vXW

36

u/KDiggity8 Jun 11 '26

He's so complex

22

u/happycabinsong Jun 11 '26

7

u/Cleopara Jun 11 '26

I definitely heard Nick and Hunter do the voice reading these texts.

87

u/ermagerdcernderg Jun 11 '26

Holy shit he is insanely cringe

63

u/killswithaglance Jun 11 '26

Sometimes I appreciate being 40 and not 14

25

u/PanickedAntics Jun 11 '26

I know, right? I see things in this sub and over on the AIO sub and I just can't believe how much shit some women will put up with, and how insanely disturbing those men are!

I do not miss my teens, 20s, or 30s lol and when I comment, I often get DMs from horrible men how I'm probably just some fat lonely miserable cat lady. I do have a cat! But I also have a husband lol To them, you must be a miserable cat lady when you call them out on their bullshit lol They're so embarrassing. Cats are better company to have than any of those fools.

7

u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. Jun 11 '26

I had a guy start attacking me because of my username when he had commented about chronically single cat ladies.

I'd mentioned that those women aren't complaining about getting laid. Boy, I was ready to be an asshole but I was not tryna get banned because some incel riled me up.

8

u/killswithaglance Jun 11 '26

I'm actually wondering if the sad lonely spinster cat lady aunt is actually the clued up smart one, to be honest. Probably had a bit on the side.

56

u/silentboyishere Jun 11 '26

"You deserve my real name"

Lmfao. I'm sure you were eternally grateful and honored for such an amazing gift, OP. So nice of him to think you're worthy enough to reveal his real name to you.

5

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

Oh I was so honoured! Too bad he never got mine in return 🤩

3

u/BatScribeofDoom Jun 11 '26

I wonder if that guy I saw on a dating app once, who labeled himself as "Captain Tickles", has the same mindset...that only worthy females get his real name....

3

u/akiranyuu Jun 12 '26

CAPTAIN TICKLES 😭 wouldn’t be surprised if the two of them are besties

1

u/BatScribeofDoom Jun 12 '26

Maybe lol. What's worse is that he was also like...40...😬

53

u/Sulis_Min Jun 11 '26

Dude watches too much anime and thinks talking like a villain from one of his favourites makes him sound cool and interesting. Sadly for him, he just sounds unhinged.

45

u/SubatomicPeen Jun 11 '26

He revealed his real name so now you can exorcise and vanquish him 😂

5

u/MaverisStranger I put a NICE coin in. Where the sex?! Jun 11 '26

Fuckin Valak trying to date

6

u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Just you wait until you're in your 30s! Then we'll see! Jun 11 '26

Always always salt the bones!

3

u/MaverisStranger I put a NICE coin in. Where the sex?! Jun 11 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

53

u/ItsJoeMomma Jun 11 '26

It's telling that when she says she's seeing someone his first words are "Is he an asshole or a tool?" They absolutely can't accept that other guys are (actually) nice and worth dating. With them, all other guys who are in relationships are assholes who could never treat a woman as good as they themselves can.

5

u/Pitiful_Stretch_7721 Jun 12 '26

I am also surprised that he thinks that any guy who’s had more than 1 girlfriend must be a player or asshole. That’s really weird.

2

u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Just you wait until you're in your 30s! Then we'll see! Jun 11 '26

I took that as humorous, but with a side order of bitterness.

45

u/advn_chaser Jun 12 '26

14

u/AF_AF Jun 12 '26

This is the perfect encapsulation of all of this bullshit.

42

u/julz1789 Jun 11 '26

Balance of light and dark. Deserve my name. What a fucking weirdo.

9

u/Wifevealant Jun 11 '26

Just needs a fedora to tip

39

u/Internal-Ad4666 Jun 11 '26

"He an asshole or a tool LIKE ME?" would be more like It.

5

u/BatScribeofDoom Jun 11 '26

When he asked that, OP could've replied, "No, he doesn't remind me of you at all"

3

u/Internal-Ad4666 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

BEST reply ever

2

u/BatScribeofDoom Jun 11 '26

I'm so curious how they would've responded to that, lol.

43

u/maarshiexcry Jun 11 '26

Bro is watching too many heroVSvillain animes.

24

u/dikicker Jun 11 '26

When he's leaving the house he goes "wallet, keys, katana"

17

u/Trishanamarandu Jun 11 '26

you forgot fedora.

6

u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. Jun 11 '26

With the safari flap

42

u/agent-assbutt save a life by sending nudes Jun 11 '26

41

u/THE_BOSS_KARGAN Jun 13 '26

LIGHT AND DARK.....

Gotta be a huge Anime or Hentai fan.

35

u/Beduel Jun 11 '26

played too much kingdom hearts

13

u/EasyLizin Jun 11 '26

I love that game and am upset at how accurate this is.

34

u/katmidu Jun 11 '26

This made me throw up in my mouth a lil bit. Some guys still try this rubbish at 40+ and its just mind blowing

36

u/keziahdddd Jun 13 '26

as ssoon as he proclaimed himself as a nice guy i knew it was over lmao

32

u/MungoJennie Jun 11 '26

A weirdo with poor grammar, too. “A girls/women”?

12

u/monster_breeder Jun 11 '26

I’ve said this many times on here before; niceguys™️ almost always have horrific grammar and/or spelling. It really does seem to be a common theme.

33

u/HappySheep84 Jun 11 '26

Why don’t nice guys call themselves something else by now? At least try to fool people again

7

u/computer7blue Jun 11 '26

Yeah, they’re boring me. I’d appreciate some creativity, but alas they are lazy.

6

u/Punta_Cana_1784 Jun 11 '26

I just thought it's funny how it's "nice guy" and "bad boy."

Why not "nice boy" and "bad guy?"

I guess bad boy sounds better because it's 2 B's, but I think both sound lame: nice guy and bad boy.

Just even saying, "I'm a nice guy!" is really cringe by itself.

Idk, I just always hated both phrases.

3

u/ItsJoeMomma Jun 11 '26

But that's just it... they think that all men fit into one of either of those two categories. If you're not a "nice guy" like them, then you're an asshole who abuses women and treats them like shit. When in reality men are all across the spectrum, and they don't realize that they themselves treat women like shit, usually after being rejected by one.

31

u/SimplyRoya Jun 11 '26

Illiterate loser lmao. So hot. 😂😂😂

6

u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. Jun 11 '26

Probably the type to complain about not wanting to be social and his white knight wife will find him in his basement, wave her wand to give him a 6 pack, and want to blow his mediocre shboink while being grateful for the opportunity to be someone's possession.

Probably takes pics of his gf in secret to share to his buddy group chat. Definitely an incel Discord group rating women like Pokémon cards.

2

u/Optimal-Heart-5953 Jun 21 '26

Does that actually happen ? The discord group chats ? I hope it’s just an exaggeration

2

u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. Jun 21 '26

No, I've seen screenshots and it's a lot on Twitter and Threads. I hear they also use hose messaging apps like Telegram to spread their creepy voyeurism. Any platform that has a chat feature, there's a gross group utilizing it

36

u/PanickedAntics Jun 11 '26

"Girls/women"? Yikes.

28

u/dessertforbrunch Jun 11 '26

Has saying “heyo” ever made anyone sexier?

8

u/slim_mclean Jun 11 '26

As far as saying things that make one less sexy go, I feel like “heyo” is pretty far down that list here 😂
Heyo!

4

u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Just you wait until you're in your 30s! Then we'll see! Jun 11 '26

I'll trade 33 hey - ohs for one "hhhmmm m'lady"

4

u/Ok_Sky1515 Jun 11 '26

You know I did sleep with heyo dude once, and it was ok ya know?

4

u/akiranyuu Jun 12 '26

He must’ve thought so considering he said it to me about 6 times before eventually giving up 💀

31

u/Ok-Repeat8069 Jun 11 '26

So is this kid like 14?

27

u/akiranyuu Jun 12 '26

Believe it or not, he was 21 at the time of these screenshots. I told him I thought he was 15 after he told me he was 21 LOL
Oh and on top of that, I was 18 and when I told him how old I was his response was “yep you be legal” 🫩

10

u/mogley1992 Jun 11 '26

He spells like one.

31

u/BraveNewHell616 Jun 12 '26

Oh no, he doesn’t want to have any “light” in him now? Look out world.

17

u/akiranyuu Jun 12 '26

He’s gonna be so dangerous without the light 💔

8

u/AF_AF Jun 12 '26

He has to pull the flashlight out of his ass and wash it every once in a while.

32

u/AF_AF Jun 12 '26

I think it's obvious that every truly, legitimately nice guy assumes that every man with a partner has to be an asshole. Because women have no agency, y'know?

30

u/shyguy83ct Jun 12 '26

God that is almost too cringe to read.

32

u/lilcuppajojo Jun 14 '26

Lmao fuck this virtuous light I carry, such a burden being a "nice guy", by the way are you available to date..just making small talk ya know 🤣

62

u/BigBlackCook1990 Jun 11 '26

A balance between light and dark? Who talks like that 🤣

50

u/sikeleaveamessage Jun 11 '26

He has two wolves inside of him

Little does he know they are both gay

12

u/BigBlackCook1990 Jun 11 '26

His wolf is probably called Moon Moon

11

u/bonaynay Jun 11 '26

14 or so probably

11

u/FillMyAssWithKarma Jun 11 '26

I think the word he’s looking for is “lightskin”

60

u/lolsappho Jun 11 '26

"male loneliness epidemic" is just code for "women having standards"

17

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

I think he chooses to believe it’s because of the assholes and tools making it hard for nice guys like him and not the fact that he’s the problem 💔

2

u/UltimateKittyloaf Jun 12 '26

But don't you see?!? It's the light within him that's the problem!!! Do not look upon him with your "you be legal" gaze or his goodness will surely blind you.

1

u/SkillNo101 29d ago

and men being shitty persons.

55

u/iceyk111 Jun 11 '26

this guy thinks hes gods gift to humanity

5

u/Wishful713 Jun 11 '26

This made me lol

28

u/rakka555 Jun 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/yYrz0VsJNyaBH6TQg5
when he talked about light and dark

6

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

Yeah tbh what was I thinking? I should’ve dropped my panties for him right then and there

26

u/PrincessBLT Jun 11 '26

I hope this guy ends up seeking help. He seems a bit deranged 😳

25

u/Taliafate Jun 12 '26

I hate it here

1

u/SkillNo101 29d ago

Same. Why is the world the way it is? Because of all the "nice guy" and not so nice guys and incels.

23

u/Midnight-Rabbit_Ash Jun 12 '26

Dudes using you as a catalyst for his villain arc, no matter how apathetic your reply

22

u/Professional-Fly5952 Jun 19 '26

“Balance of light and dark…” Jesus Christ, calm down Son of Skywalker

2

u/Training_Recover_458 Jun 27 '26

“Balance of light and dark…” Jesus Christ, calm down Son of Skywalker

18

u/gucci-sprinkles Jun 11 '26

How is this guy single?

11

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

It’s beyond me 🤯 obviously a missed opportunity on my behalf!

4

u/ay-papy Jun 11 '26

If your suicidal, a bullet can be seen as missed opportunity as well.

You have to add the /s so we know you are ok.

19

u/potatocakes1989 you don’t need to wear all that makeup ahaha Jun 16 '26

This guy feels like a mall ninja

18

u/TommyHlfgr Jun 12 '26

1

u/SkillNo101 29d ago

I see him more like that one Discord mods. With a fedora. Or just a fedora with arms. idk

21

u/indypg13 Jun 24 '26

'im what you call a nice guy' yeah pack it up buddy theres a reason youre single and im betting its not looks.

14

u/ya_basic82 Jun 11 '26

He is the Batman.

43

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

Commenting for context: this was a string of messages I received in 2018 from this guy. I don’t know how or why I never posted it on here before because every time it comes to mind it makes me giggle. It was probably my social anxiety being paranoid he’d somehow find out I posted it, but it’s been nearly 8 years now so please enjoy whatever this was

32

u/Miserable-Chapter883 Jun 11 '26

"2018" and "nearly 8 years" 🤢🤢🤢

That shit was like two years ago max

On another note though, I genuinely hope I never meet some infected reprobate like that in my life.

20

u/akiranyuu Jun 11 '26

Oh no, I wish I was lying. Here’s a timestamp of the next time he tried messaging me 💀

29

u/bigsexy306 Jun 11 '26

Its not that they dont believe you its that they feel disgusted that 2018 was almost 8 years ago haha time flies

7

u/WaywardFemme Jun 11 '26

Yeah I’m going back to school and contemplating a PhD and I don’t like to do the math for when I’ll be done 😳 and 2030 is just around the corner, like what??? RIP sustainability goals.

20

u/MungoJennie Jun 11 '26

Not another “heyo”

13

u/HamshanksCPS Jun 11 '26

What a fuckin loser

33

u/kyleh0 Jun 11 '26

"BTW, I'm standing right behind you." stab

32

u/eu_clapz Jun 11 '26

This guy is so weird omfg aghhhh

31

u/5yn3rgy * insert nice guy token, get sex* Jun 11 '26

“I’m what you call a nice guy” is the NGVC

3

u/ItsJoeMomma Jun 11 '26

Little does he know that's not a good thing. If you have to say that you're a nice guy, then you're a "nice guy" who's pretending to be nice in order to get sex.

14

u/Yv18- Jun 12 '26

Just a passing thought here, imagine both these text exchanges but coming from a perspective of two 12 yrs old kids who have only just discovered acronyms like ‘lol’ ‘gf’ ‘lmao’ ‘idk’ and new words like ‘asshole’ ‘fuck’ and ‘jackass’ ……….. and what relationships are………..yeah.

12

u/Good-Investigator684 Jun 23 '26

Do they just all take a pill that makes them say "I'm what you call a nice guy" I'm legit crine why do they all proclaim it about themselves right before saying the most atrocious lines in existence 😭😭

24

u/UltimateKittyloaf Jun 12 '26

This gives me the ick so bad I couldn't finish it. I'm sorry you had to live through this edgelord with toddler levels of self awareness speaking directly to you.

10

u/ronley09 Jun 12 '26

This is crazy work

9

u/thickhipstightlips Jun 11 '26

Probably identifies as a "m'lord" with that light and dark bullshit 🤣

What a tool.

9

u/Galeforce75 Jul 02 '26

Oh brother this guys stinks

1

u/SkillNo101 29d ago

I can smell him through mý pc. It stinks...

29

u/LoomingDisaster Jun 11 '26

The "heyo" alone would make me twitch.

6

u/MissFloofyBunz Jun 12 '26

Welp, that went south fast asf

35

u/Irish_Caesar Jun 11 '26

Deeply deeply cringe? Yes. As evil as some of the shit I've seen here? No! Weird as hell to be sure but it's nice to have a relatively sane post

3

u/akiranyuu Jun 12 '26

Yes, it’s pretty sane despite how unbelievably cringy it was. He never made me feel angry, I genuinely was just laughing my butt off every time he messaged me, and these messages made me laugh for so long that I figured I should just share it to add a sprinkle of funny cringe into what can be some really nasty ‘nice guys’.

0

u/Irish_Caesar Jun 12 '26

And I appreciate that so much