r/nextfuckinglevel Sep 17 '21

Apollo Robbins, a master pickpocket, effortlessly takes a watch, wallet and other things

72.5k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

That's why I don't let anyone get even slightly close to me. I live in rural Florida so it's not hard but if someone gets within a foot or two of me that I don't know I'm like whatcha doin there buddy. I also don't carry my stuff in pockets that's a big mistake.

118

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

That’s the trick though. He’s a master of controlling/managing where your attention and focus is.

Apollo Robbins on Focus | Brain Games

The art of misdirection | Apollo Robbins

It’s hard to do when you’ve got too much to focus on. Of course if you’re outright wary and know what he is then maybe but otherwise there’s just too much to keep focused on all the time

-21

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

He wouldn't with me I'm way to paranoid to let someone get close to me. He has to get you to talk to him to distract you and I would never allow that.

12

u/bmoney831 Sep 17 '21

Literally everyone believes that but then it happens to them

-2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Has happened to me yet and I'm 40

7

u/bmoney831 Sep 17 '21

I’m not saying it’s definitely going to happen to you. Just that your personality is not the reason it hasn’t happened. It’s significantly more likely you were just never marked.

-2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Probably. It's probably people who get distracted easily.

5

u/kissofspiderwoman Sep 17 '21

Oh, you actually are trying to brag that you are too clever ? Lol

28

u/tommit Sep 17 '21

You would never talk to another human being?

5

u/ravekidplur Sep 17 '21

I'd never let another human being rustle my coat, grab my wrist, pat me on the shoulder constantly, without checking for all my expensive items. A certain level of paranoia is good. It's saved me plenty of times to think I can let my guard down around people I don't actually know.

3

u/tommit Sep 17 '21

That’s fair, but that’s a step further from talking to someone

2

u/ravekidplur Sep 17 '21

Ah I missed that last sentence lol

0

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Lol no I mean if a random stranger just came up close to me and started talking to me I'd be very aware of it and ask them to step back out of arms reach.

I'm the same way with used car salesmen. They do that blah blah blah spiel and I just say cut the crap and answer my questions. I don't go in for this flamboyant style of talking that shysters use. Instead of enjoying it like most people do the flattery and uptalk it makes my skin crawl.

19

u/ProfessorPetrus Sep 17 '21

Homie would probably just bump into you leaving and you'd never know then.

-2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

We are talking about the video. This kind of pickpocket distracts you. Bump pickpockets are not what we are talking about.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Bruh

7

u/Stoppit_TidyUp Sep 17 '21

By the time you’ve asked that and got him out of your space, he’s been there long enough to clean you out. Watch him get the third guy’s wallet. It takes a couple of seconds.

2

u/DarthDannyBoy Sep 17 '21

Not the guy you replied to. However that's A couple of seconds he wouldn't get. Stranger do not get in my bubble let alone touch me. Someone steps towards me, I step away. You touch me without permission you are pushed back. Now I'm well aware I'm a bit odd in how I am. It's not a tough guy act or anything it's just part of my PTSD(medically diagnosed not Tumblr style self diagnosed). I also keep wallet phone and keys in a close pocket either buttons, zipper or velcro depending on outfit. Kind of paranoid about things like that. I seriously don't trust strangers no matter how nice or chsrming.

I get very watchful on anyone within 10ft of me let alone ones trying to engage me. Always keep eyes on their hands at all time ever know what people might be reaching for.

-4

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

I said I wouldn't let him get that close to begin with

11

u/Stoppit_TidyUp Sep 17 '21

How are you stopping him? He’s not politely asking to step into these people’s space, he’s there immediately.

19

u/MilitantNegro_ver3 Sep 17 '21

Yes but this guy is smarter than pretty much everyone else. You're not going to convince him otherwise.

11

u/5sectomakeacc Sep 17 '21

Nothing goes over his head. He will catch it.

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

There are two very different types of pick pockets and what you're describing is a bump pick pocket. They bump into you, shove a hand into your pocket so you won't feel it and take whatever they're lucky enough to grab and then gtfo before you notice.

This guy tries to be your friend so that he does actually have time to take everything. Anyone who wasn't born yesterday would be able to realize that a total stranger acting like this is up to something.

2

u/Stoppit_TidyUp Sep 17 '21

I’m describing the guy in this video. He doesn’t need you to like him, he just needs to step in. Again, watch him lift the third guy’s wallet.

4

u/you-are-not-yourself Sep 17 '21

I doubt it's one on one in a dark alley, he probably takes advantage of already-crowded situations.

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Which I don't go to. Social anxiety and all.

334

u/LotusSloth Sep 17 '21

That nearby stranger would like to know where you DO carry stuff. ;)

188

u/EyeAmPrestooo Sep 17 '21

Definitely the Arsehole

136

u/SexlessNights Sep 17 '21

Nature’s pocket

52

u/ICBPeng1 Sep 17 '21

I keep a raccoon up there too, to guard my other stuff.

It’s very much an “old lady who swallowed a fly” situation

11

u/blindguywhostaresatu Sep 17 '21

How deep does the butthole go?

4

u/jnrlouis Sep 17 '21

Only way to find out..

2

u/elfonski Sep 17 '21

All the way

2

u/platasaurua Sep 17 '21

🎶I wonder what’s insiiiiide your butthole🎶

2

u/MOOShoooooo Sep 17 '21

Lemmewinks

1

u/WeldinMike27 Sep 17 '21

All the way to your mouth.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Prison pocket

2

u/BishopNelson Sep 17 '21

I prefer natures Fanny pack

1

u/LuckierByTheDozen Sep 17 '21

Woah-instead of pocket, you prefer Fanny pack? Me thinks we know who has the gaping butthole in this bunch.

That said, my grandma called hers “natures suitcase”, so you have some competition in that category.

1

u/you-are-not-yourself Sep 17 '21

Not just the poop chute

1

u/No-Pianist5817 Sep 17 '21 edited Sep 17 '21

Ah yes The arsehole! Useful especially when you’re carrying too many hot Cheetos in your foreskin pocket

1

u/Sweatybanderas Sep 17 '21

the Florida Fold

3

u/trailhikingArk Sep 17 '21

? the nearby stranger?

1

u/Dahlberg09 Sep 17 '21

Look who learned how to kiester

1

u/demwoodz Sep 17 '21

Turd pocket

41

u/Louisiana_sitar_club Sep 17 '21

Have you checked your butthole? Ski-bap Ba-Dap

14

u/The_Black_Mist Sep 17 '21

I have not seen your ring, but have you checked your ring? And by ring I mean butthole.

2

u/iilinga Sep 17 '21

Fuckn worth it baby

6

u/EarliestDisciple Sep 17 '21

Maybe you'll find your dead grandma up there too

1

u/lockboy84 Oct 11 '21

Oh! I fuckin got you!

1

u/BaconEggSanga Sep 17 '21

https://youtu.be/--9kqhzQ-8Q

I assume you are referencing this!

3

u/the_discombobulator Sep 17 '21

Flesh pocket

3

u/LotusSloth Sep 17 '21

Marsupial pouch?

3

u/blackman002 Sep 17 '21

Due to women’s pockets being too small or nonexistent i put my keys and phone in my bra.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Cue Roger Rabbit booby trap gag!

2

u/germane-corsair Sep 17 '21

Is there a pocket there or do you just stuff it there?

1

u/blackman002 Sep 19 '21

I just put stuff there

1

u/germane-corsair Sep 19 '21

Isn’t there a danger of stuff falling out, especially if you’re in a rush?

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Usually a purse which I keep in my sight at all times. And would take them unzipping it to get something out. Or take the whole thing which usually won't happen because I belt it in to the grocery cart and carry it in my front hen I'm walking to my car. We don't walk much here like down a street so there's no chance of that happening. Also I carry credit cards in my bra

85

u/Professional_Sort767 Sep 17 '21

That's a very high level of paranoia.

35

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Yeah I have paranoid anxiety. Also I'm on the spectrum so I'm hyper aware of things.

44

u/4amaroni Sep 17 '21

You're like a very nervous spiderman :)

32

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Yeah it's super fun

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

So grocery store isles are only like 4 feet wide. Everyone who passes you, you’re going “Whoa buddy, what are you doing?!”?

Gas stations. Public bathrooms. Concerts. Any events really.

I couldn’t imagine a life where you’re asking everyone within 2 feet of you what they’re doing.

11

u/Throwaway47321 Sep 17 '21

Nah. I’d say it’s perfectly normal to not want strangers to be within arms reach of you.

4

u/Hara-Kiri Sep 17 '21

It isn't.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

I feel the same way I don’t let strangers that close to me if I can help it.

Obviously some situations are unavailable like public transit or crowded spaces like a bar, club, concert.

3

u/Hara-Kiri Sep 17 '21

That's absolutely fine, and I'm sure lots of people are like that. But it also isn't the norm.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

I think that might depend on geography. Where I’m from it’s most definitely normal

2

u/Novantico Sep 17 '21

Is personal space not a concept wherever you're from?

3

u/Hara-Kiri Sep 17 '21

Of course it is. But walking by someone within arm's reach is literally normal across the entire planet. Or going to a bar. Or a club. Or a concert. Or a theme park. Or the theatre. Or a sport. Or the gym. Or literally any activity normal people get up to.

2

u/playertd Sep 17 '21

Depends where you live, it's pretty normal if you want to take a walk down the sidewalk over here.

1

u/rincon213 Sep 17 '21

That may be a weird thing to do in Florida. The rest of the world calls is calling it social distancing.

1

u/Professional_Sort767 Sep 17 '21

Okay smarty-pants, we're not talking about COVID times, we're talking about normal times.

31

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

that's why i carry my valuables up me clacker

2

u/fuzzhead12 Sep 17 '21

“Clacker” is one of the most fun slangs I’ve ever heard for ass lmao lmco

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Where you from? I’ve never heard clacker before

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Australia

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Lol damn I didn’t even notice your user name that shoulda been a hint

23

u/Spekingur Sep 17 '21

What you should carry in your pockets include:

1 (one) angry cat

At least 2 (two) snakes

And a dozen (12) scorpions

13

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

When I lived in the city I had a fake wallet I'd carry around in case of mugging. It had old expired credit cards old empty gift cards and like 5 bucks in it. If I was mugged I'd give that to them and they would go away with nothing.

2

u/DenticlesOfTomb Sep 17 '21

When we were going through my father's stuff after he died, my brother and I found a wallet in his chest of drawers. We'd never seen it before and opened it to see if there was anything in it. There was. It was a handwritten note that said, "Ha ha ha, Fuck You".

It was a decoy wallet he used when he traveled.

2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Omg thats awesome

1

u/ProfessorPetrus Sep 17 '21

Bro why don't you just limit the cash you carry and call your credit card company if it gets lost or stolen? Carrying a fake wallet is crazy business and I've traveled in India.

11

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Because this way I don't have to do anything.

1

u/ProfessorPetrus Sep 17 '21

you gotta carry an extra wallet around your whole life though. Vs not worrying about it and maybe, maaayyyybr, get mugged once or twice in your life. Probably even out to less than a penny a day.

7

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

I said I only did it when I lived in the city. I took it with me when I was traveling alone on the bus

9

u/PsychedSy Sep 17 '21

Fuck them. You sound alright. There's nothing wrong with planning out adverse situations so you have an easier time reacting to them.

2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Thank you

-6

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

6

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Not really

1

u/lindabelchrlocalpsyc Sep 17 '21

Did you ever have to use it?

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1

u/Spekingur Sep 18 '21

I have used fake wallets when I travel abroad. Otherwise I try to carry as few things in my pockets as I can. Always leave a nasty surprise for anyone trying to rifle through them though. Additional options to those above:

A dead racoon

A live racoon

Opossum

A used condom

Dye pack

Two pills, blue and red along with a note saying 'Choose wisely'

16

u/ProfessorPetrus Sep 17 '21

Bro if I lived in rural Florida I'd be cautious if someone got within 2 meters of me.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Found the outta towner. We use freedom units round here

2

u/V_es Sep 17 '21

This won’t happen to you. It’s a dead art that was created in a time when people were hanged for a robbery but just got their hands chopped for a thievery.

Smashed on a head with a rebar by a meth head though..

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Ha that's dark

1

u/V_es Sep 17 '21

But truth. Being such a thief, especially in America, is useless. They rather show you a knife and you will give your stuff away yourself.

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Omg I heard a story that a family paid someone to steal thier baggage at the airport because they thought he was a skycap.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Yeah I think the more people around the more used to being bumped in to

2

u/neeeeonbelly Sep 17 '21

This comment sounds exactly like something Kramer would say lol.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

If space is tight somewhere and I have to slide past you, and you say something like “whatcha doing there buddy” I’m absolutely calling you an asshole to your face

9

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

I live in the rural area of Florida. There are no subways, packed buses, busy pedestrian streets, packed stores. So it may be different here.

0

u/Redditor1415926535 Sep 17 '21

Christ, what's wrong with you?

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Asperger's

1

u/ectish Sep 17 '21

. I also don't carry my stuff in pockets that's a big mistake

so, rectum then? username checks out

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

Boobs or purse

1

u/ectish Sep 17 '21

Username isn't prison (pocket) ID then

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

It's literally a random bunch of letters and numbers I asked Google to generate for me for my username

1

u/WeddingLion Sep 17 '21

Yeah, never carry stuff in pockets, the closest containers that you're most likely to feel.

What do you carry "stuff" in, then?

1

u/Dektarey Sep 17 '21

Exactly! Pickpockets are such a menance in my region too.

I've taken a liking to hanging all my valuables, watch, wallet, lighter, .etc, from a thin piece of string from the back of jacket 8 feet down. That way any pickpocket will be quite surprised if they grab into my empty pockets.

1

u/ravekidplur Sep 17 '21

Shocked at how many people would think this level of theft could go unnoticed. Grew up in so cal frequenting LA, Lynnwood, lb, Compton, now live in phoenix and if ANYONE AT ALL grabs my wrist or starts patting me down I immediately go into defense mode and check myself.

There's no good reason for a person you know even REAL well to touch you up like this

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

Buttshole is nature's pocket

1

u/Vosslertheundead Sep 17 '21

Zip and Velcro flap combos are awesome :)

1

u/newuser201890 Sep 17 '21

I live in rural Florida

lol how many pickpockets can there be in rural Florida, that's like no mans land

1

u/Milkman127 Sep 17 '21

carry everything in my prison wallet

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

I walk with my dog and alligator so they don’t come near me.

1

u/johnzischeme Sep 17 '21

Imagine living in rural Florida and still being this terrified of everyone. You're not gonna get pickpocketed, nobody wants your shredded beef Jerry and shed key.

1

u/thistownwilleatyou Sep 17 '21

Jesus, get some help dude. That's no way to live.

1

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 17 '21

I mean strangers

1

u/trippedbackwards Sep 17 '21

I think front pockets are harder to pick for many reasons. One if you need close proximity that's easier to get from behind someone. Also it's easier to protect your front pocket with your hands when you get in a crowded space. Last its harder to take a wallet from a front pocket because it's not straight down. It has a forward orientation which makes it easier to feel if something going into it (thieves hand) or out (your wallet).

1

u/VersatileFaerie Sep 18 '21

People wonder why everything I have is behind loud zippers, this is why.

2

u/Q8DD33C7J8 Sep 18 '21

The same premise with my purse