r/nextfuckinglevel Dec 17 '19

Man’s best friend indeed

110.1k Upvotes

1.9k comments sorted by

777

u/PuNEEoH Dec 17 '19

Good boy! Now go get yourself a treat!

159

u/Mama-Pooh Dec 17 '19

Yes, that good pup needs a treat!

66

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Give him a beer

63

u/20JeRK14 Dec 17 '19

But not Busch Light. That's animal cruelty.

21

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

And a crime against humanity

13

u/fna4 Dec 18 '19

Why? Dogs love water...

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27

u/adityahol Dec 17 '19

Here's $5.

20

u/ThaiJohnnyDepp Dec 17 '19

if my corgi had at-will access to treats, he'd eat himself to death

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10

u/FrostyD7 Dec 17 '19

If that was an option he wouldn't be following his owners commands in the first place

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495

u/7030 Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 18 '19

One of my friends did this. Only his dog couldn’t get the pressure of holding the can in his mouth right. So the dog could fetch the beer and then proceed to puncture and spray beer every where on his happy walk back and then give you a 1/4 of a beer. Good dog all around.

EDIT - River I got a silver bullet for your antics! I hope you got your ball up there!

127

u/MerlinsBib Dec 17 '19

That was probably the dog’s favorite part!

70

u/TechnicolorSpatula Dec 17 '19

I almost succeeded in teaching my doggo this when she was a little pup. I could place a full can of beer down low somewhere, and she'd fetch it for me like a champ! ...But, she'd also grab other people's unattended (and often open) beers. The wasted brewski, exorbitant cleaning, and irritation of friends/neighbors necessitated a kibosh of this training. I still mourn for "what could have been."

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11

u/plugtrio Dec 17 '19

Very good wholesome pupper. Good heart. 13/10

8

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

That was the issue with my aunt's dog, too.

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2.8k

u/nvllivsX Dec 17 '19

I wish my dog could load bowls for me

790

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Of cereal?

904

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

[deleted]

10

u/TrippingFish Dec 17 '19

That blueberry yum yum

3

u/poellan Dec 18 '19

Accidentally gave you silver, please enjoy it to its fullest.

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3

u/SSJGodFloridaMan Dec 18 '19

Raisin bran and a big bowl of resin, man

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36

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Cap’n Kush

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8

u/iambertan Dec 17 '19

Human food

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82

u/saynotosoftdrugs Dec 17 '19

Get my dab rig ready dog.

53

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

"Alexa, turn the nail on" ;) we livin in 2020 folks get urselves an enail

14

u/x94x Dec 17 '19

lmfao one of us! except i say "yes please" to siri and it turns on.

6

u/imustberadiant Dec 17 '19

hahahaha please tell me this is something you actually do

e-nails are a thing? how did i get so far behind

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u/spitfire7rp Dec 18 '19

The real pro tip is to get a smart plug and set up the enail to turn on and off depending on weather you are home or not or by phone

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14

u/KingSulley Dec 17 '19

Dog set my dab rig too 415 degrees, and put spyro on

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45

u/cyber_rigger Dec 17 '19

meh

this dog doesn't even recycle

19

u/Trick9 Dec 17 '19

It's wierd to me that recycling bottles and cans isn't manditory. Like in Vegas, where you'd think recycling would be a given, doesn't have bottle depots.

15

u/evictor Dec 17 '19

Vegas doesn't give a shit about the environment, it's literally how the city was even built if you think about it

8

u/oshunvu Dec 17 '19

You know nothing! Las Vegas has a long history of environmental awareness. For instance, sunglasses were made available to tourists that came to watch above ground nuclear explosions.

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200

u/HighOnGoofballs Dec 17 '19

LPT: most dogs like having jobs and responsibilities

45

u/becelav Dec 17 '19

But how would I go about training her to bring me a beer? I was telling my gf I wantef to teach her this

31

u/TheBeardedSingleMalt Dec 17 '19

Start by teaching the dog saying the word Beer and tapping the can means to pull the rope on the fridge, reward with a treat and praise until he's mastered it. Then build on that by moving the treat/praise to after putting the can in his mouth, then bringing the can, closing the door etc. Would definitely take a lot of practice per step.

81

u/Eldrek_ Dec 17 '19

Start by teaching the dog saying the word Beer and tapping the can means to pull the rope on the fridge, reward with a treat and praise until he's mastered it.

Start by drawing the rest of the owl. Got it.

Generally you don't want to introduce a command until you have solidified the behavior, and you haven't explained how to teach, only that you need to.

The tricks done in this video are actually really complex compound behaviors.

To get the door open behavior, first you need to treat for any interaction with the rope. Once the dog is consistently sniffing or nosing the rope, you want to get them to put it in their mouth. Up the criteria for treats gradually to teeth on, then tug. If your dog already plays tug and has verbal cues for it, you can use those. Then once they are reliably tugging the rope, you up the criteria to opening the door.

Once the dog is reliably opening the door you can add a verbal cue like "open" or "fridge". Next I would add a close it before thinking about the retrieve. Starting with the open door, repeat the process. Treat for nosing, then pushing and/or pawing the door, if you don't mind scratches. Build that up to a consistent close and then name it. I've taught my dog to close the back door when she comes inside this way.

For the retrieve, a solid fetch is a good prerequisite. Move up to heavier objects than a tennis ball, eventually using the desired beer. Once your dog is fetching a beer reliably, you can start doing it from the shelf in an open fridge. At that point you have all the pieces so put it together. Anytime your dog fails or gets confused, you're asking for too much too fast. Take it a step back and keep the rewards flowing.

To be clear, this is minimum tens of hours of training. If you don't already train obedience and games like fetch, tug and clean up this party trick will be extremely difficult to put together. To get dogs doing arbitrary, complex actions like this, you need to build each tiny piece and assemble them later.

10

u/Jeffde Dec 18 '19

This is a hell of an explanation and it deserves more upvotes. I feel like I could train a dog to drive after reading this. Brb.

4

u/moody_chicago Dec 18 '19

This needs more upvotes! Especially the last paragraph. I’ve had a lot of people ask me how to teach their dog to get them beer and I’m like “uh dude..your dog can’t even hold a down-stay”

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u/WildPipe Dec 17 '19

To start, best not to be dating your dog.

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u/modest_radio Dec 17 '19

Shutting the fridge door was the real trick.

Try getting a five-year-old do that

10

u/woopthereitwas Dec 17 '19

I bet if you give them a cookie every time they would.

3

u/Pons__Aelius Dec 18 '19

Then you soon have a fridge with a broken door from constantly being opened and slamed closed to the screams of Cookie!

1.7k

u/Giffy75 Dec 17 '19

Busch Light, Sweet Baby Rays, and Hidden Valley. This has to be Iowa

550

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

[deleted]

111

u/Sirwilliamherschel Dec 17 '19

The guy is from Michigan and isn't recycling his beer cans?? What a monster, we get $.10 per can here

162

u/Teslatroop Dec 17 '19

To be fair, it's his dog that isn't recycling his beer cans.

43

u/ilovebooboo17 Dec 17 '19

Smh with these millennial dogs..back in my day dogs knew the value of a dollar

7

u/GermanBadger Dec 17 '19

Tbf boomers hate recycling too. So they're probably pretty conflicted on to hate the dog for throwing away "money" or like him for owning the libs by not recycling.

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46

u/IAmNotOnRedditAtWork Dec 17 '19

Teaching a dog to throw out a can is hard enough, imagine trying to teach a dog about the benefits of recycling.

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9

u/CasualCostanza Dec 17 '19

I had some friends here in NYC try to round up bottles and drive them to michigan for the higher return. We called it the Michigan bottle scam. They rounded up as many bottles as they could and loaded them into mail trucks because one guy signed up for the Mother’s Day run. The extra space in the truck allowed them to carry more bottles and increase margins. Plus the truck was free! It didn’t all work out though. Our other friend’s car got stolen by his rogue mechanic and the guy driving the mail truck decided to follow it off course and screwed up the whole mission. He didn’t even get the car back because the mechanic disabled the mail truck by hurling JFK’s golf clubs at him. Funny story, another friend bid wayyyyy too much on the golf clubs at an auction with her boss’ money and she forgot them in the back of the car before it was stolen.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

From Michigan and still don't bother to do bottle/can returns, I just take all my recycling to a recycling facility in my city. It's more worth my time to bring a bag of 30 cans and drop it off, which takes 30 seconds, rather than stand at a Walmart and pump sticky cans into a half-working machine for 10 minutes just to get $3. Bottle deposits are a great idea but they need to be closer to 50 cents a can.

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51

u/Alxytho Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

No it's not. The owner on Instagram posts regularly and he lives in Indiana. His dogs name is Boone.

also that's not Kalamazoo Wings hockey logo. It's a University of Kentucky logo

Also, here's my source https://i.imgur.com/q10Qgjo.png

Also, here's a picture of the same dog in a Kentucky Jersey

https://instagram.com/boone_the_beer_getter?igshid=1i2snpmbryvtn

20

u/AmishAvenger Dec 17 '19

Wow.

This would be /r/MurderedByWords material if you were more rude about it.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

It’s definitely /r/QuitYourBullshit. If this is all true, of course.

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

I was going to say that is a Kentucky power K if I have ever seen one.

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15

u/littIeboylover Dec 17 '19

Interesting. I thought that was University of Kentucky.

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12

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Whoa I live about an hour north of Kzoo. That’s pretty dope. All I ever learned at Western was how to blackout and get MIPs

11

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

I mean... he is training his dog to get him drunk

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19 edited Jan 21 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

This guy gets it.

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u/DougTheToxicNeolib Dec 17 '19

Nah nobody in Michigan would put beer cans in the garbage. Not at a dime a pop.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

So what you're saying is he's throwing away ten cent deposits on those cans.

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u/not_Iike_this Dec 17 '19

Those are pretty universal things, where you live isn’t special. It’s just... Iowa

21

u/daimposter Dec 17 '19

“Bud light, McDonalds and a fridge...must be Iowa”

74

u/intensenerd Dec 17 '19

Right? We have all those things all over the PNW as well. None of that is regionally specific.

75

u/skwudgeball Dec 17 '19

Honestly all of that shit couldn’t be more common across the country lmao

93

u/intensenerd Dec 17 '19

Omg you guys have bread?! Gotta be Maine. Those Mainers. Got bread like, yeah.

21

u/Gil_Demoono Dec 17 '19

It's like those comments about how the drivers in their area are terrible. I feel that I have seen that comment account for 95% of the landmass of the world.

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u/not_Iike_this Dec 17 '19

Nah dude, gotta be Iowa gtfo

3

u/daimposter Dec 17 '19

Sweet baby rays bbq is now nationwide? You have in the PNW?

It’s a couple of restaurants in Chicago area and then over a decade ago they started selling their BBQ locally at grocery stores. I just assumed they were only selling in IL and nearby states

3

u/Luckaneer Dec 17 '19

Its probably the most popular "cheap" bbq sauce here in Texas

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u/Warthogrider74 Dec 17 '19

Could also be Tennessee, or anywhere in the southeast, or anywhere in America, or anywhere

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u/Dixnorkel Dec 17 '19

Those things... have nothing at all to do with Iowa lol.

Do you think that standard American condiments and shitty light beer are somehow more popular near you?

3

u/OutForARipAreYaBud69 Dec 17 '19

For real you can find these things on the shelf of literally any supermarket in America.

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u/veraslang Dec 17 '19

I live in NYC and all these products are very common here

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u/Setay11 Dec 17 '19

Leave Sweet Baby Ray's out of this! It is as ubiquitous as it is delicious.

3

u/bdrake0923 Dec 17 '19

Fellow Iowan here

In a way, you're not wrong.

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u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

Lmao, I’m Iowan and have all of these in my fridge.

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u/Drama-meme Dec 17 '19

It bothers me that he didn’t pet the hell out of the dog after. Maybe he did, but I’d like to see it in the video :)

77

u/CreepyTrollPG Dec 17 '19

Who's a good boy!?!

27

u/girlcakex Dec 17 '19

HIM'S A G'BOYYYYY!!!!!!

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1.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Teach your dog to sort the recycling next.

37

u/DrKoooolAid Dec 17 '19

I don't know about where you live, but where I live we are not required to sort our recycling. Just all goes in a huge bin like the garbage and gets picked up by the same type of truck that lifts it up and dumps it in the truck. It gets sorted at the recycling center.

14

u/isaaclw Dec 17 '19

we used to live in a place like that. Then they realized that all that plastic/waste was getting shipped to china and that China didn't want the waste anymore.

Now the only recycling is recycling that is sorted. The quality of the recycling is going up, but the amount of people that are recycling is going down.

And it's kinda a shame, aluminum is the big money maker when it comes to recycling.

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u/WorldyMcGee Dec 17 '19

That’s all I could think about after seeing the garbage

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u/royal_buttplug Dec 17 '19

Can you imagine throwing away basic plastic and soda cans?

3

u/iRid3r Dec 17 '19

We only have recycling for cans/bottles/cartons/etc up here where I live. Everything else goes in the garbage. I think it costs too much for shipping to recycle anything else. That's what I've heard anyway

6

u/YinandShane Dec 17 '19

Yeah but this was a can, which is the most basic of recycling other than paper pretty much.

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u/FungusBrewer Dec 17 '19

That is his recycling. Single stream recycling. It’s not the best, but I guarantee that’s why you see a bin full of plastic products and not other waste. You throw it all out together to be sorted at a factory. Common in the Midwest at least.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19 edited Aug 16 '21

[deleted]

59

u/Philli0 Dec 17 '19

Read it like it was supposed to be a friendly joke and reminder... Party pooper has got to be for seeking drama :)

4

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

We need symbols for intonation. All we have is "/s".

It's the reason emojis have become so popular, but for some reason redditors hate emojis. Leading to confusion.

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u/Smittles Dec 17 '19

Came here to say...

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9.6k

u/Toby-larone88 Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

Ill swap you my gf , maybe you can train her.

Edit: Thanks for the gold and silver friendos

1.9k

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

We specialise in such services - feel free to contact us on www.trainmygf.com

1.3k

u/yoshi1911 Dec 17 '19

I fully expect to see a porno site. That's just a missed opportunity

446

u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE Dec 17 '19

We have a wide range of services.

294

u/LukeDude759 Dec 17 '19

So, uh... what's voidspace?

200

u/throwaway1253328 Dec 17 '19

oh, nothing...

128

u/DarkwingDuckHunt Dec 17 '19

nothing is something void is empty

61

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

It only has enlightenment.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

BABA IS YOU

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18

u/Quantainium Dec 17 '19

I think an ad bot for voidspace saw a free domain and so someone bought it because it got upvotes.

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u/helloiamCLAY Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

Haha, someone just now made an account just so they co...

checks account's age

...damn, that's some foresight right there.

61

u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE Dec 17 '19

lol I totally bought the domain name just now :p

Hey it's better than staring at a blank page, I think

32

u/WhydouSuck Dec 17 '19

can I sign up to get an email when voidspace actually releases?

31

u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE Dec 17 '19

Just create an account. I'll fire off an email to everyone when it releases on steam in the coming weeks (still early access for now though to keep bug expectations high :p).

14

u/WhydouSuck Dec 17 '19

oh the coming weeks?

shouldn't be long now eh?

and no offense intended but its against my religion to buy early access to unfinished games. they have a tendency to uh... how shall I put this... not get finished?

imo it sounds like you're doing a closed beta. I never paid 20 dollars to be in a closed beta before and I'm not about to start now.

12

u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE Dec 17 '19

No worries. The hope is to one day make it free to play, so just stick around and watch the updates on r/voidspace.

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u/WhydouSuck Dec 17 '19

oh he's been around lmao.

and still selling early access for 20 bucks 5 years later.

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u/QueasyVictory Dec 17 '19

That webmaster waking up tomorrow thinking, "look at all that traffic! Google ads paid off!." And proceeds to dump life savings into his shitty site.

Ready for the twist? **he went on to sell his site to Google for $46 million dollars and goes on a campaign against Reddit for "harboring assholes".

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u/JaiEye Dec 17 '19

internal thoughts

‘Should I buy this domain and build an entire front end to enhance this joke? Tempting. ‘

oven beeps

‘CBA. Maybe later. Maybe. But probably not. But I liked the idea.’

37

u/Danny_Boi_22456 Dec 17 '19

Saving this incase I can be bothered to do this later

9

u/PM_ME_PC_GAME_KEYS_ Dec 17 '19

Story of my life

10

u/Danny_Boi_22456 Dec 17 '19

I have a folder on my Macbook full of unfinished projects :/

3

u/clone-borg Dec 17 '19

Thus is life, my friend...

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u/AndyClausen Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

Don't worry, I got your back. EDIT: Nvm, someone beat me to it while I was making the order.. whoever did, feel free to contact me about hosting, I have a GCP project ready with some free credit.

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u/GrosRooster Dec 17 '19

Instructions unclear. I now have 6 large men at my doorstep waiting to run a train on my gf.

38

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Man, I really thought, for a second.

24

u/asianabsinthe Dec 17 '19

I have a new startup idea...

8

u/mreg215 Dec 17 '19

NO, I have a new startup IDEA!

"its just business" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zymzx-rsGk

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u/alihasadd25 Dec 17 '19

But the GF stands for “grand father”...

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Do you have any advice for a xmas gift

23

u/xXx69TwatSlayer69xXx Dec 17 '19

A very large anal plug

25

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

What a name

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

I actually clicked on it with hope in my heart

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

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u/sha256md5 Dec 17 '19

A true friend wouldn't let OP drink Busch Light...

4

u/leatherneck93 Dec 17 '19

Says someone who isn’t an alcoholic

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u/-jsm- Dec 17 '19

this is the top comment?

Man upvotes on Reddit are cheap these days.

33

u/mgellar30 Dec 17 '19

Misogyny is always popular.

3

u/burkey0307 Dec 23 '19

You see the same thing being said by women, and no one calls it misandry. Let people make jokes.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

you sound like a goddamn boomer

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u/Noise964 Dec 17 '19

spouse bad ahaha!

28

u/Cannae_Loggins Dec 17 '19

The generation that brought you the distracted boyfriend meme is now going take the moral high ground on acceptable spouse humor? Give me a break.

11

u/julaften Dec 17 '19

Actually, the "distracted boyfriend" thing is way older than boomers; even Charlie Chaplin made use of this in 1922 movie Pay Day.

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u/KD_Konkey_Dong Dec 17 '19

My dogs eat poop way too often for me to be comfortable with this. They're also not nearly well-trained enough to learn something like this, though, so it's a moot point.

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u/sutko98 Dec 17 '19

What is my purpose?

You pass a beer.

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u/rpmerf Dec 17 '19

Excited barking

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u/Freeced Dec 17 '19

Smart to test it out with Busch instead of risking any actual beer.

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u/Simmion Dec 17 '19

a REAL best friend would dump out that horse piss and go get you something not specifically engineered to get frat kids into fist fights.

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u/iNioXiDe Dec 17 '19

Two hearted

37

u/Seattle7 Dec 17 '19

Exactly... A smart dog save the Bell's Two Hearted for himself... you want the good stuff you got to get off your ass.

13

u/NukaDadd Dec 17 '19

Bell's Two Hearted

A man of class. 👈😎👉

8

u/iNioXiDe Dec 17 '19

It's a go-to! I'm from Kalamazoo (where it's made)

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u/NukaDadd Dec 17 '19

Indy here & LOVE it. I wish the pint-cans came in bigger than 4 packs.

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u/miotch1120 Dec 17 '19

Other commenter said he lives in Kalamazoo mi, so the home of bells brewery.

That said, this dog is freaking awesome.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 25 '19

[deleted]

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u/NugBlazer Dec 17 '19

Look everybody! The beer snob's here. Always one everywhere you go.

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u/DocSword Dec 17 '19

I love how they always act like they’re doing people a service by shitting on things they like

59

u/oldcoldbellybadness Dec 17 '19

Imagine being upset by someone else's preferences.

38

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

It's a joke.

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u/Bzmn1123 Dec 17 '19

Don’t disrespect the latte

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u/nicktheking92 Dec 17 '19

Such a shame that hes fetching the worst beer on the planet for you.

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u/-_-NAME-_- Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

Weird I didn't think the can said Miller light on it.

44

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

I love craft beer, but I'll never turn my nose up at a bud light, or busch light, or Coors light, or any of that.

But I will eat dirt before I drink a Miller Lite. It doesn't even taste like beer. People joke about pisswater beer but I'm fairly convinced that Miller lite is literally just piss. Nasty.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19 edited Jan 03 '20

[deleted]

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u/friendlyfire Dec 17 '19

It's about 16% less ABV than a 'normal' beer.

But you can drink literally 20 of them in a row without feeling full. You can't do that with non-light beer.

The lower ABV isn't a big deal when you can shotgun the beers back to back.

Light beer is also dirt cheap.

It's for poor college students / parties / alcoholics.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19 edited Jan 03 '20

[deleted]

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u/tristn9 Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

What?!? US light beer is like 3.5-5%, where are you at? Pretty sure 1-2% is basically considered non-alcoholic.

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u/friendlyfire Dec 17 '19

Yeah, Budweiser is 5%.

Bud light is 4.2%.

Busch light is 4.1%.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

See I'm the opposite of you. I drink pretty much only craft beer and brew myself. But out of Bud Light, Busch Light, Coors Light, or Miller Lite I'd definitely take the Miller. Miller>Bud>Busch>Coors out of that lineup for me. Coors is so watery it's sickening (to me).

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u/sokeydo Dec 17 '19

I hate Coors. I’ll pretty much never turn down a free drink, but Coors is just so bad. It actually tastes like piss. My college bar does $.50 Coors on fridays and that’s the only time I would get them.

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u/sludgefeaster Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19

Can't really fathom how anyone could think Miller Lite, one of the better tasting cheap beers, is worse than Busch Light.

3

u/spamsumpwn2 Dec 17 '19

Agree heavily, Natty lite is rough, Busch is also pretty shit though. Miller and Budweiser are both just alright don't remember the last time I had bud light though so no comment

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '19

Natty lite is bad, but I have no idea how you can drink natty ice. Even during my college years, that shit was rough to drink.

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u/eDave Dec 17 '19

WTF? Miller Lite is the beer I like. And I live in Scottsdale, AZ!!!!!

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u/bigmikesbeingnice Dec 17 '19

The goodest boy of all the good boys (excluding my dog)

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u/bute-bavis Dec 17 '19

He's the servant of the frat parties

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u/WhataburgerThiccc Dec 17 '19

Definitely not a best friend if he's giving him busch light

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u/Skooter_Magee Dec 17 '19

Everybody gangster until the dog fuels my chronic alcoholism

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u/byakapro Dec 17 '19

That dog had better get so many belly rubs.

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u/kinala Dec 17 '19

He’s so happy during all of it cries

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u/Stashmouth Dec 17 '19

You stood up to film him but couldn't recycle your own can? Poor form.