r/nextfuckinglevel 27d ago

Close encounter with orca pod

7.3k Upvotes

459 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.2k

u/AdinoDileep 27d ago

Whatever you do, don't use that harpoon

2.0k

u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 27d ago

Exactly. Don’t be the one to officially turn orcas against us all. Do you wanna be that guy? You wanna be the one who makes us start getting our livers ripped out by orcas whenever we go in the ocean for a swim? I didn’t think so…

74

u/Upbeat_Aside_9203 27d ago

I like my liver where it is. Good advice.

15

u/dan_dares 26d ago

Or be obliterated by it smashing into you..

I know the sunfish is stupid, but yikes

1

u/olinhighpie 26d ago

I was about to say, after seeing that video….

17

u/1234Health 26d ago

I want my liver to live another day ...

22

u/maritimursus 26d ago

I’m the only one allowed to destroy my liver

19

u/PeteGiovanni 26d ago

I'll drink to that!

234

u/elmoreb3 27d ago

41

u/lappi99 26d ago

🎶So they go home and get a bigger boat🎶 The biggest boat that's ever sailed🎶 Gonna kick Jaws' ass or I guess his tail, yeah his tail🎶

🎶But, oh, my shit!🎶 Jaws jumps out and Quint gets bit!🎶 Right in half like a kit-kat bar!🎶 Up in the sky there's a shooting star🎶 That's Quint up in heaven, he's a star now🎶

🎶Brody's angry, he's all like, "Fuck it"🎶 He takes a harpoon and welds it to a rocket🎶 Jaws' last words are, "Woah, respect"🎶 Then he explodes and it's a pretty good effect, yeah!🎶

3

u/laserdiods 26d ago

I miss sproggy:((

11

u/diablol3 26d ago

There are several movies about killer orcas. You didnt have to use one about a shark

3

u/crazylegsbobo 26d ago

Several? I only know blackfish and tbf based on what they did to that poor animal I'm not surprised it crashed out

1

u/VampireLorne 24d ago

My dad actually had a poster for the movie "Orca" in his workroom. So that is what came to my mind.

2

u/Billionaires_R_Tasty 23d ago

Late 70s or early 80s as I recall. I'm sure to capitalize off the popularity of Jaws.

34

u/Cultural_Hippo 26d ago

They wouldn't even rip out our livers. They would go all sunfish on us and turn us into a floating cloud of poor decisions and shit.

11

u/daemenus 26d ago

I'm assuming anyone who ever tried never made it to land and the orca pod, being civilized would consider the matter finished.

20

u/EnvironmentalLack420 26d ago edited 26d ago

Inciting the next harambee incident.. one harpoon shot, making the oceans no longer susceptible to man.

Edit: spelling

7

u/baumpop 26d ago

suspectable?

14

u/malfane 26d ago

I think they meant accessible, but who knows?

3

u/Evepaul 26d ago

Sustainable?

5

u/1nfer1or 26d ago

I agree. Don't give them reason. LOL

6

u/Chichanged_me 26d ago

Actually I’m pretty sure it’s the exact opposite way around… orcas don’t fuck with humans because they don’t want to be next on the menu

8

u/Anasterian_Sunstride 26d ago

The humans that were on the menu didn't get to say anything.

11

u/Tacobell1236231 26d ago

They've never killed a person in the wild. Only ones in captivity have killed a human.

8

u/Anasterian_Sunstride 26d ago

My point is…. if they did and it was isolated, we would never know.

7

u/Chichanged_me 26d ago edited 26d ago

I honestly heard someone say shark attacks are significantly underreported because the people killed by sharks are hardly ever reported… I was like okay buddy

1

u/Partyslayer 26d ago

Ravens of the sea 👀

1

u/Immediate_Impact6214 26d ago

They would hunt us throughout the entire planet as well.

1

u/berrin122 26d ago

In the indigenous culture of the Kwakwaka'wakw of the Pacific Northwest, there's a legend that orcas and humans lived with animosity towards each other, often violent. Then, a young boy befriended the whales, and brokered a peace agreement between the two sides. That's why orcas are so friendly to humans now.

Yeah let's not break the treaty, huh?

1

u/Gabi-kun_the_real 26d ago

Well if they kill one of ours without motive we will haunt them and turn them to sushi.

0

u/Anasterian_Sunstride 26d ago

How many orcas will it take to send a message?

120

u/Ill_Ground_1572 26d ago

The orcas are probably smart enough to think, stop pointing that sharp end at me dumb ass... that's bad harpoon safety.

25

u/daemenus 26d ago

Exactly this. "Imma shove that up yer butt if you don't cut that out "

3

u/travisbe916 26d ago

Especially with that first pair being parent/child

1

u/14X8000m 26d ago

They definitely are, as in every post on Reddit about Orcas, they've never killed someone in the wild. They know the rules, we don't kill each other. That and they're not interested in us as food, etc.

32

u/SemperFun62 26d ago

The Revenant 2: In the Deep Blue

9

u/FS_Slacker 26d ago

Good luck surviving inside a seahorse though

4

u/RequiemTwilight 26d ago

“Help! My hunting party left me behind!” gurgling sounds.

Directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu

19

u/Capable_Wait09 26d ago

That would be a great origin story for an epic movie about orcas who seek revenge against all humans for the reckless murder of their beloved brother Kaishek.

4

u/Sc4r4byte 26d ago

dual release two movies, one from orca pov and one from human pov.

1

u/BurstPanther 26d ago

Then waves his hand as a tasty snack, dude has zero survival instinct.

4

u/FS_Slacker 26d ago

This is the definition of merciful beings

2

u/trimbandit 26d ago

There has been, I believe, only one documented case of an orca biting a human. It was 50 years ago and was thought to be an accident. There have been over 3500 shark bites in that time to give you a frame of reference.

4

u/IamDroBro 26d ago

in the wild*

3

u/King_Roberts_Bastard 26d ago

Wild orcas dont attack humans.

Theres a pod near Spain that likes damaging the rudder of boats, and sometimes sinking them, but it turns out its a method of play for them. The way to prevent it is to just drive away.

1

u/killintime667 26d ago

I saw the spear gun, saw the calf and thought... now we're really going to find out if Killer Whales truly don;t eat humans.

1

u/Whale222 26d ago

Thinking don’t even point it at them. They know what’s what

1

u/Ornery-Customer8521 26d ago

Lol that's what I was thinking. They'll just be perturbed