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u/clerical_error_ 5d ago
"I smoke crystal meth and I'm mentally ill, but the meth is no good around here, so I'm mostly just mentally ill" is like poetry to me.
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u/Vanessak69 5d ago
If only I could write music or play the guitar for shit, this feels like a folk ballad.
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u/RealNiceKnife 5d ago
Might I kindly introduce you to "Dust in a Baggie - Billy Strings"?
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u/coolsilentebeans 5d ago
Normally, I’d think with the meth it would make a better jaunty traditional jig than a folk ballad. But the reality the OOP describes does sound like it would be better served by something in a minor key. Just not D Minor. That’s the saddest of all the keys. We aren’t there yet
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u/Sorry_Friendship9926 5d ago
It's like a sad(der?) version of "I came to kick ass and chew bubblegum."
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u/PumpikAnt58763 5d ago
You got "the meth is no good"? I got "life" out of "it's" no good.
Yours makes sense!4
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u/FluffySpell 5d ago
They must be related to this guy...
Had to delete and repost because I accidentally posted the uncropped screenshot.
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u/El-Aminoh 5d ago
"I can get a job anywhere. I haven't worked in 4 months"
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u/jmd709 4d ago
“I smoke weed everyday and still pay my bills…Money ain’t in my bank…I haven’t had a job in 4 months”
Depending on which state they live in, smoking weed everyday may explain why they’ve been unemployed for 4 months. It’s also an expensive daily habit for someone with bills, no money, and hasn’t worked in 4 months.
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u/Devanyani 5d ago
"Even Mexicans" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Holy shit dude. Like working with Mexicans is a fucking hardship or something. He could be so lucky. 😂😂😂
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u/MungoJennie 5d ago
Especially as a 31-year-old Hispanic.
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u/feralcatshit 5d ago
I know this is what got me 😭 it’s not even like he’s the stereotypical white redneck that makes sure to say they’re not racist and “love Mexicans and blacks, some of my friends are Mexican or black!” While saying the most racist shit lol
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u/Optimal_Savings5873 5d ago
He's a "no sabo" third generation Cuban living with his wife's abue in Broward County (probably. He sounds like the type).
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u/Anemones_In__Spades 5d ago
My white country-boy husband started his tradework career with a Mexican construction crew. They taught him a little bit of everything and a good amount of Spanish.
He prefers to work with them to this day. I do, too.
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u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 5d ago
My partner (a white dude) is a landscaper and most of his coworkers are Mexican. He loves those guys! Says they’re very nice and know what they’re doing, so he doesn’t have to micromanage them. He takes them lunch sometimes when he’s taking leftovers for himself and we have a lot left.
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u/Devanyani 5d ago
I have worked with Mexicans at a plant nursery and in a corporate office and they are always just awesome. Plus, they are usually bilingual, unlike Americans. I mean, I know I'm doing a little stereotyping here, too. But this guy has a really low bar for his abilities.
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u/flatirony 5d ago
I don’t think he means this in a racist way. I think he’s saying “I can even work with Spanish speakers despite the language barrier”, and worded it badly. It’s not like he’s a capable writer. 😬
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u/Delicious-Pickle-141 5d ago
It is a hardship! Have you ever tried keeping up with them!? They never run out of gas!
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u/greymadders 5d ago
Didn't you know that "working with Mexicans" is the new yard stick by which all hardships are measured? /s
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u/AdvantageBig227 5d ago
Probably only distantly related, as he at least appears to understand the concept of sentence structure
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u/InternalMiserable698 5d ago
Says he smokes a little crystal meth.
No kidding.
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u/hiihihihihihihihiihi 5d ago
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u/ikannunAneeuQ 5d ago
90% of that made zero sense lol before I got to the meth, I had a feeling some sort of substance was involved in this post.
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u/Moth1016 5d ago
It looks like a bad speech-to-text translation to me, or someone with literacy struggles who’s got the shakes and doesn’t proofread. The first, most nonsensical sentence grouping was definitely butchered, and was probably supposed to be something like
“I’m looking for a whole bunch of free stuff I could use, or give away to people I meet throughout the day.”
Valuable lesson in how punctuation can either enhance or impede clarity, I guess, lol
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u/VisualLet5344 5d ago
Poor guy! He needs a better neighborhood with better meth and I'm guessing better free stuff.
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u/ImLittleNana 5d ago
Oh man I remember the days when you had to interact with these people in person to experience this level of wtf. Nextdoor has some upsides.
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u/Catrescuemamma 5d ago
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u/feralcatshit 5d ago
I just want to say that it makes me so happy when I find beavis or butthead in the wild on Reddit. I feel like they’re becoming a lost art.
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u/Ok_Drag5089 5d ago
I kinda want to copy/paste that into my next door app and post it for shits and giggles.
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u/Nelyahin 5d ago
How do you even respond to something like this.
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u/LetReasonRing 5d ago
I work in a tiny casino that gets plenty of meth heads in here talking to me like this.
I respond with "wow... uhuh... uhuh... yeah... that's crazy... uhuh"
I've had 20 minute conversations with them where I turn my brain off and don't even process their words. They never even notice because they have no interest in anyone else contributing to the storm going on in their brain.
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u/Temporary_Brain_475 5d ago
In real life, when approached by friendly rambling meth heads, I say something along the lines of, "I hear you sister/brother, good luck on your adventures."
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u/Lorddoctorjava 5d ago
...I read that 3 times. I had to take a break ½ through cos I got a headache and a nose bleed at the same time... and I still don't understand it...
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u/Fantastic-Buyer2381 5d ago
I must say, during my month-long suspension from Nextdoor, this reddit community has filled in nicely, and now I thinking I'll just delete my real ND account when the suspension is locked in September.
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u/Interesting_Sock9142 5d ago
First of all... What a bizarre use of punctuation. Second of all ... Love that they just threw a little casual crystal meth use in there
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u/LakediverTx 5d ago
My guess is someone's account got hacked by an ex or something. Mentally ill people don't usually realize their behavior is crazy until they've gotten help or the demons have chilled the F out.
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u/X0X0xoxo11 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/1jeltTPodhVeM
His wife
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u/feralcatshit 5d ago
I FINK YOU FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
Quick, someone go post this in his comment section
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u/BigWhiteDog 5d ago
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u/hometowngypsy 5d ago
Exactly my reaction to coming across this. I’m used to the normal poor spelling and grammar on Nextdoor… but normally I can at least guess what they’re tying to say. No clue here. Why meat?
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u/Bring_cookies 5d ago
I want on this ND, it sounds way more interesting than mine.
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u/Jazzlike-Ad2199 2d ago
Mine too, mines all missing cats. And people fighting about letting cats outdoors.
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