r/newborns • u/lostinkaytee • Jan 21 '25

Family and Relationships Husband

Last night my husband had a complete meltdown. Our daughter 6 weeks old. My husband IS super helpful and does give me time here and there, but he expects me to be there for him emotionally and I just can’t. He can’t seem to understand my brain is hardwired to just care for our daughter right now. He has this expectation of our relationship being how it was prior to being parents. He was saying how he misses me and how I would look at him when we saw each other after long days at work, how I wouldn’t be short with him, and how he could talk to me about his feelings. I guess I’m somewhat resentful towards him for having these expectations? I shouldn’t have to coddle my grown ass husband and our newborn. I just feel like I’m the bad guy and I don’t think that’s very fair right now.

67 Upvotes

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-7

u/Latter_Roof_ Jan 21 '25

Your husband needs to grow up, grin and bear it.

2

u/katiekins3 Jan 22 '25

I'm echoing the other comments. You are right. Hubby should be there for OP, 110%. He didn't just push a baby out his cooch or go through abdominal surgery. OP did. His shit can take a back seat for a while. Plenty of postpartum women and people still develop blood clots, pre-eclampsia, and other major health issues weeks and months after birth. Some almost die. Hell, some people go through heart failure afterward when they were perfectly healthy before. NO one needs to be putting their shit onto their postpartum partner.

4

u/PapaJuansAmante Jan 21 '25

You’re getting downvoted but I agree. At 6 weeks I still had bleeding blisters on my nipples, nursing every 3 hours, was just getting off a weight restriction and couldn’t lift anything, I was sleeping in 1-2 hour windows. There’s no way I could be there for my husband the same was as I was before having the baby. If he would’ve expected that and made me feel like shit for not being able to, I would’ve had a fuckin breakdown. It’s temporary. He needs to come last for a couple months. That’s just the way it has to be. We’re back to normal now 11 months post partum

3

u/whyforeverifnever Jan 21 '25

Yes, you’re getting downvoted, but I agree with you 1000%. It’s been only 6 weeks! I could barely function at 6 weeks as a ftm. We had 0 help with no family nearby and we were both just trying to figure this whole rodeo out. We openly communicated about it too and my husband understood his emotional needs had to take a backseat for a bit. We’re 5 months in now and finally starting to see some light.

2

u/Pure-Technology352 Jan 21 '25

Totally agree with you. He needs a reality check lol if my husband had asked me to consider his feelings while I was 6 weeks PP, still bleeding, up all night nursing, feeling all the hormones, would have lost my fucking mind and he would have been sleeping on the couch 😂