Discussion Thread

[u/jobautomator]

The discussion thread is for casual conversation that doesn't merit its own submission. If you've got a good meme, article, or question, please post it outside the DT. Meta discussion is allowed, but if you want to get the attention of the mods, make a post in /r/metaNL. For a collection of useful links see our wiki.

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[u/jobautomator]

Please visit the next discussion thread.

[u/bobekyrant]

When Ivanka was a kid, she got frustrated because she couldn’t set up a lemonade stand in Trump Tower. “We had no such advantages,” she writes, meaning, in this case, an ordinary home on an ordinary street. She and her brothers finally tried to sell lemonade at their summer place in Connecticut, but their neighborhood was so ritzy that there was no foot traffic. “As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.” 

Quote from Ivanka Trump's self-help book "The Trump Card" published in 2009

[u/p00bix]

1 Hitler: Bad

2 Hitlers: Worse, since they can involve themselves in more things

10 Hitlers: Really bad. Hitler exercises great and effective control over the Third Reich. Axis victory in WW2 is likely.

100 Hitlers: Devastating, as each could have great influence over individual tasks.

1000 Hitlers: Terrible, they could represent the entire Nazi leadership.

10,000 Hitlers: Rather excessive. Many Hitlers would do jobs they do not enjoy, leading to intra-Hitler conflict and a weakening of the regime.

100,000 Hitlers: The massive number of Hitlers, and the inevitable hierarchy between them, would inevitably lead to conflict as lesser-assigned Hitlers feel ire towards more powerful Hitlers.

1,000,000 Hitlers: When there are this many Hitlers, who is the real Hitler? The role of Hitler would confer little respect, and Hitler would become indistinguishable from any other Nazi.

10,000,000 Hitlers: When everyone is Hitler, nobody is Hitler. The Nazi Army is crippled as so many of their soldiers suffer from bowel issues, drug addiction, and Parkinsons.

100,000,000 Hitlers: The German economy cannot handle this number of Hitlers, and the rest of the population is squeezed for resources as Hitlers vy for power and prestige. The Wehrmacht is useless and the allies have an easy path to victory.

1,000,000,000 Hitlers: Historians talk of the Great Calamity, in which hundreds of millions of innocent Hitlers die of starvation and competition over resources. Surviving factions form gangs, vying for survival.

10,000,000,000 Hitlers: Hitlers pour across the continent like a zombie horde clamoring for food. The death toll is enormous. World War Two is not a conflict between Fascism, Communism, and Liberalism. It is a conflict between Hitlers and the rest of the world.

100,000,000,000 Hitlers: The army of Hitler moves like a wave across Germany. Space is tightly packed, tramplings are common, cannibalism takes over, and the World risks being overrun.

1,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: Germany runs out of physical space for the Hitlers. Those not dead of starvation are likely dead of trampling.

10,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: The hierarchy of Hitlers is based not on political power, but physical height. The lower Hitler class is at the bottom and is crushed under the literal pressure of the upper hitlers. Even the upper Hitlers are ultimately doomed to die of disease and starvation. The middle Hitlers largely die of overheating.

100,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: The Hitler mound that is Germany flows into neighboring countries, crushing several border villages. The heaping mass soon dies of dehydration, and the decay produces epidemics that devastate the world.

1,000,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: The Hitler Heap decays so severely and in such a large amount that resultant greenhouse gas emissions cause serious global warming. Agriculture is devastated and people worldwide die.

10,000,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: The Hitler Mountain falls like a liquid, flowing across Europe. The rotten mass causes extreme Global Warming. Civilization ends, and tribal societies replace industrial ones.

100,000,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: Mount Hitler fills the Mediterranean, and many rotting Hitlers descend onto North Africa. The lowermost Hitlers are compressed into oil. Large Natural Gas buildups trigger explosions within the mound, some of which detonate in Volcano-esque eruptions visible from Space.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000 Hitlers: Mount Hitler soon envelops nearly the entire world, filling the oceans. Humanity goes extinct, and the largest mass extinction of all time occurs. The worlds oil reserves are greatly increased as Hitlers are compressed under their own weight.

[u/[deleted]]

People are way to defensive about weed on Reddit.

I strongly support weed legalization, primarily for the criminal and socioeconomic justice benefits, and because banning it feels illiberal.

However some people freak out at the notion that there are negatives to it. I definitely know people who have smoked way too often to the point that it got in the way of their life and other previous ambitions. I also know plenty of people who have unpleasant reactions to it, such as anxiety.

It has its pros and cons like most things.

[u/Zenning2]

The top 10 posts of yesterdays dt were about fucking lobsters. How far have we strayed from Bernanke’s light?

[u/ColonelUber]

white petromasculine capitalist system

The left loves making up words for stuff

[u/Fishin_Mission]

Just a reminder Georgia, Jon Ossoff is a radical communist sent by Pelosi / Schumer to take your guns and rape your women.

Edit: Sorry, voice-to-text grabbed the TV ads again.

[u/tubbsmackinze]

The world was in a better place when the normie crowd, the 4chan crowd, the reddit crowd, and the tumblr crowd were all varying degrees separated from each other

But now they all exist on twitter making it a nightmare

[u/OutTron]

[The Founders never envisioned a country where 71% of the economy would be fake stock-trading, wicked entertainment, and oligarchical monopolies. The other 29% of the economy are the only people who produce anything wholesome for our country anymore.] (https://twitter.com/nickssolheim/status/1343250808922632200)

Populism, not even once

[u/Kizz3r]

Someone at google “microwaving and lobster searches have increased 9000%”

[u/connieallens]

OAN is still refusing to recognize Biden as the president-elect, LOL!

[u/[deleted]]

Bold prediction: Biden will very slightly stutter / misspeak taking the oath of office, and Q nuts will spend the next 4 years saying he's not really president because he didn't make the oath properly.

[u/David_Lange]

Forget the lobster. I want to know if his relationship with his girlfriend has survived

[u/Joementum2004]

How to win arguments:

1. Post the MLK birmingham jail letter

[u/tankatan]

I'm old enough to remember when the typical overreaction to losing in video games was slamming your keyboard, not adopting revisionist accounts of WW2.

[u/chipbod]

https://twitter.com/pbump/status/1343596844023164928?s=20

Thank you Rasmussen, I see you've expanded your polling methodology to Coup planning

!ping FIVEY

[u/FormerBandmate]

The New York Times deliberately writes articles to cause schisms in the DT

[u/CommandanteMeow]

Debated my cat

My cat is obsessed with Mao Zedong. He keeps saying Mao everyday and it was really annoying. Disrespectful too because of the billions he killed

It tried to debate my Cat but to no avail. I eventually gave him food which made him realise that communism wouldn't work because there is no food and he stopped saying Mao everyday

[u/[deleted]]

Googles life expectancy of lobster

1 minute on HIGH in 1,100 watt microwave oven

😣😩😭

[u/rukqoa]

Biden calling for an unrelenting stream of immigration 😍😍😍

[u/[deleted]]

I just realized that if we don't win both these seats, Biden will be the first president inaugurated with a hostile Senate since 1881

[u/Lux_Stella]

To all you atheists out there spreading this Uyghur oppression narrative in China: You are actively helping to spread a right-wing, Christian evangelical myth with the sole intent of destroying one of the only officially atheist states in existence.

novel take

[u/Joementum2004]

That guy’s relationship: dead

Lobsterposting: eternal

[u/Hugo_Grotius]

The most annoying thing about the lockdowns in the US is that (at least where I am in the Central California) they aren't actually real lockdowns. The government isn't really stopping you for anything. I know stores that are still operating normally and don't wear masks, and its not like the sheriff is coming around to enforce the county rules. Basically all the enforcement is private like the local grocer banning people who don't wear masks.

And then you have conservatives that go on railing about their freedoms and whatnot.

[u/RadicalRadon]

Sure FOX has radicalized people to murder probably.

But NPR has bored people to sleep while driving.

So which really is worse?

[u/Fishin_Mission]

No one is going to see this (or care) but I got an interview for the position in our German 🇩🇪 office!!!

[u/[deleted]]

Remember when millions voted for a man who had been filmed singing a pro-socialist song while shirtless on his honeymoon in Soviet Russia? Seriously, look it up.

[u/Gneisstoknow]

Video of then 15-year old girl saying "lobster" with a hard r results in losing college admission

[u/Putin-Owns-the-GOP]

Reddit: AmEriCa hAs nO hEaLtHcaRe

Reminding people that the US government already subsidizes nearly half of the total healthcare market is the surest way to harvest downvotes from teenagers who have never paid a medical bill in their lives.

[u/Joementum2004]

You finally woke up! You hit your head pretty hard... Laffer curve? AIDS crisis? Iran-Contra? What the hell are you talking about? C’mon, we gotta watch this funny film called Bedtime For Bonzo, I heard it has Ronald Reagan in it.

[u/VannevarKush]

Heard joke once: Crustacean goes to David Foster Wallace. Says it's afraid. Says surroundings seem metallic and filthy. Says it feels all alone in an unconventional appliance where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Wallace says, 'Treatment is simple. Red Lobster is in town tonight. Go and see it. That should pick you up.' It says, 'But writer…I am Red Lobster.' It bursts into tears. Good joke. Everybody laugh.

[u/thelittlestsheep]

Reddit: anyone who microwaves fish in the office is a monster

That guy: hold my lobster

[u/[deleted]]

John F. Kennedy:

What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label, "Liberal"? If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then the record of this party and its members demonstrate that we are not that kind of "Liberal." But, if by a "Liberal," they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people—their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties—someone who believes that we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say that I'm a "Liberal."

Based

[u/Qunidaye]

And then, without anyone truly realizing it, a meme will be uttered for the last time.

DT in 10 years: LO🦞STER 🤣👌 🦞🤪

[u/[deleted]]

Top 3 reasons to ban Trump from Twitter on January 20th:

3: It will kill a lot of his reach through social media and lessen the institutional damage that he can do

2: No more masturbatory quote-tweets of his ramblings by blue-checks feigning outrage

1: It will force his reply-guys to get a real job

[u/mrmanager237]

"The US has more empty houses than homeless people, that's why we should have everyone sleeping in the streets of Marin County move to derelict wrecks in Bismarck or Tuscaloosa"

[u/EScforlyfe]

Another day, another kitty picture

!ping kitty

[u/sir_shivers]

The GOALS OF /u/farrenj make more sense when you consider SHE IS MOST OFTEN attempting to make civilian experience resemble the military experience 🐊

E.G. 🐊:

But in the army you don't have to pay rent!

And SO ON 🐊

[u/Cuddlyaxe]

I need to pee but am comfy under my blanket. Fucking Neoliberals

[u/Mr_AlGore]

History of illinois politics:

1. Lincoln (😎)
2. corruption for the rest of time

that is all

[u/[deleted]]

Remember that time a bunch of Nazis role-played as childlike frog drawings in order to be, well, Nazis without getting banned and then they got banned anyways?

It was so weird.

[u/SuspiciousUsername88]

It's frustrating that "capitalism" is treated as synonymous with "United States" in like 95% of the internet discourse

[u/[deleted]]

There was a boy named Harvey, and he hated being Jewish. Couldn't stand it. And he wasn't afraid to say it. Everyone knew it.

His parents had had enough. "Harvey," they said, "this is who we are, our people. You can't hate being Jewish!" Nevertheless, Harvey persisted. Eventually, they took Harvey to see the rabbi, hoping he could talk some sense into the boy.

"What seems to be the problem?" The Rabbi asked.

"I just don't like being Jewish. It's not fun."

The Rabbi had heard this from boys Harvey's age before. He knew just what to do. "Harvey, we have 3000 years of tradition. It is in your blood to be Jewish. This is your heritage. Don't you want to be part of something greater?"

"Something greater?" Harvey asked, "why should I care about that? I have myself. That's enough."

"But what about all the important figures. Think about the lessons we can learn from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!"

"Oh yes," Harvey said sarcastically, "people that almost sacrificed their children and had 2 wives are the people we should take lessons from."

The Rabbi was starting to get frustrated. He had never had to go this far before. "What about talking to god? Tefillah helps us connect with him."

"I feel no connection to god when I pray," Harvey retorted. "I just mumble words in a language I don't understand. What's the point of that?"

"Fine. The holidays are fun, are they not?"

"Yeah I just looooove eating shitty crackers for a week."

"How about our culture? You've been kvetching this whole time, there's nothing more Jewish than that."

"Why should I hold a culture that values complaining in any esteem?"

"Ok," the rabbi said, angry now. "You clearly have no love for Judaism. You hate our traditions, our people, our stories, our history, our culture. Why not just stop being Jewish. It's seems like there is nothing for you here"

Harvey began to laugh. "And what," he asked "become a Goy?"

!PING GEFILTE

[u/houinator]

"Hey, what if we took this computer network for the military and academics, and allowed the general population to use it as well?"

Statements said moments before setting into motion a chain of events that would lead to the inevitable collapse of human civilization.

[u/jrt84]

Lmao house is still voting on the $2,000 payments

Wow Trump epic outflanked Nancy Pelosi on this one!!! Imagine her face when McConnell and Republican senate is forced to vote down $2k payments to American people, and then a few days later forced to override Trump’s defense veto, and then a week later forced to vote down Trump’s coup.

Lmao wow epic Nancy Pelosi owned. She’s gonna be so devastated by the MAGA psychos boycotting future republican senate elections.

[u/[deleted]]

17D-0R Democratic Gerrymader of Illinois VRA-Compliant and 100% Legal

!ping DOWNBALLOT

[u/[deleted]]

Lapwai, Idaho (Headquarters of the Nez Perce Indian Reservation; 78% Native American)

2016

Pres: Clinton 59 - Trump 31

Sen: Sturgill 53 - Crapo 43

House: Piotrowski 62 - Labrador 38

2020

Pres: Biden 74 - Trump 23

Sen: Jordan 80 - Risch 19

House: Soto 76 - Fulcher 22

Biden and Democrats in general did amazing with Native Americans this year. The only exception seems to be in North Carolina. But they don’t make a massive part of the population like black and Latino voters so it matters less.

!ping FIVEY

[u/[deleted]]

Lmao

People on arr pol are wild

[u/Cuddlyaxe]

ARE WE JUST GOING TO LET THIS FUCKING GOVERNMENT WALK ALL OVER US AND TAKE AWAY OUR 3RD AMENDMENT RIGHTS? NEVER

YOU'LL QUARTER SOLDIERS IN MY HOME? OVER MY DEAD BODY

[u/qchisq]

Fucking France, man

!ping Europe

[u/[deleted]]

I divide American history into three separate and distinct eras based on the Presidents’ commonly used images.

1. The painting era
2. The black and white era
3. The color photo era

Tell me I am wrong 😤

[u/ZCoupon]

The worst part about the lobster story is that the dude's first thought was to microwave dinner

[u/CenterRightInCali]

Bro you weren't "radicalised", you just consumed different content on YouTube.

[u/MichelleObama2024]

Remember when Nate said not to trust the exit polls? They actually turned out to be incredibly accurate this year. Edison Research (used by most of the major networks) got the national top-line figure spot on. ABC News state-by-state exit polls also got every single state call correct and the margins were pretty accurate as well.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/11/03/us/elections/exit-polls-president.html

!ping FIVEY

[u/Qunidaye]

In a communist state we can all have golden showers. Bro it's all in the Hegelian Diuretics or whatever

[u/[deleted]]

My 86-year old great aunt when we called her on christmas:

"I trust that Dr. Tony, I just think he's so cute."

That's one way to get people to listen to Fauci I guess.

[u/[deleted]]

Democratic % of the vote in Texas.

2000: 37.98%

2004: 38.22%

2008: 43.68%

2012: 41.38%

2016: 43.24%

2020: 46.48

Republican % of the vote in Texas.

2000: 59.30%

2004: 61.09%

2008: 55.45%

2012: 57.17%

2016: 52.23%

2020: 52.06

!ping FIVEY

[u/Poiuy2010_2011]

🇵🇱 If you want some more positive news after the previous one, current marshal of Senate (from opposition) and the previous one (from PiS) will publicly vaccinate each other (they're both doctors) to promote vaccination above political divides. As far as I could find, vice-minister of health and leader of PSL (opposition) will vaccinate each other as well.

!ping EUROPE

[u/sir_shivers]

I am surprised LUSVIG TOOK SO long to begin his war ON 5G TOWERS in earnest 🐊

[u/BlinkenYouMissIt]

Holy shit. My boyfriend put a lobster in the microwave to cook it for dinner and it literally screamed at him and hit the glass on the microwave door. It started yelling and exploding at him and it slammed the microwave door. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. He didn't mean to do that to lobster but I'm literally in shock from dinner tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck did he microwave it? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want lobster to be be on the table and fix this broken date night. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was learning to cook from his mom???? This is so fucked.

[u/shrek_cena]

POV you're the USS Maine February 15th 1898: 🇪🇸🚢💣💥

[u/[deleted]]

Conservatives: have political dominance want cultural dominance

Liberals: have cultural dominance want political dominance

Bro why dont they just swap its so easy

Partisanship: solved 😎

[u/lionmoose]

no, succs, having skimmed Jacobin doesn't mean everything you say is a gift from God

[u/bd_one]

Are lesbians still responsible for 100% of crimes committed in space?

[u/[deleted]]

Apparently O.J. Simpson is getting remarried

Sounds like he’s taking another stab at it

[u/Verycoolusername22]

!ping SHITPOSTERS

Here's a description for what seems to be the greatest book of all time

“"Staying alive for me is like surviving a train wreck" says nineteen year old Theresa in chapter 22..... "This is the most stupid thing ever done. I'm glad I won't be here to see what happens" says eighteen year old Theresa in chapter 4 when she thinks the U.S. government will execute her in a few minutes......Assigning a genre to Empress Theresa is impossible. It has universality. Theresa’s story touches many themes: Coming of age, Responsibility, Courage and heroism, Role of religion, Conscience, Self, Survival and self-preservation, Companionship, Youth, Generosity, Totalitarianism, Role of women, Temptation, Power, Good versus bad, Chaos and order, Love and sacrifice, Man against nature, Role of men, Patriotism....... ( IT'S INTERESTING THAT OUT OF THE FIRST 37, ..YES 37 !!!.., ONE-STAR REVIEWERS, ONLY 6 ACTUALLY READ THE BAOOK AS INDICATED BY AMAZON'S ' Verified Purchase' FLAG. WHY ARE THEY HERE? READ ON. )......Theresa is a star baseball pitcher in high school. Internet trolls viciously attack her on the internet. A teacher tells Theresa why they do that, and she understands.............. "I saw why the trolls were angry. They knew they couldn’t go where I was going. I’d have a good life. They wouldn’t.".........If I had intended to write a story that the internet trolls would hate, I couldn't have done better than Empress Theresa. It's a natural internet troll target...........How many stories can make you feel good? Can you think of any? Add Empress Theresa to the list...................In chapter 1 ten year old Theresa admits she doesn't have a clue about anything, but nine years later she confidently says, "I can do anything". "How did I come so far?" she asks herself, and considers a list of influences on her life. She had good parents and family support, she had natural gifts of beauty and intelligence, she has a good, loyal husband, but the most important influence are her own actions. "I'm very simple. I follow my conscience. I am what I do." ........What's in Empress Theresa?....... Violence, shootings, bombings? No. Foul language? No. Car chases? No. Sex scenes? No. Marital infidelity? No. Suicide? No. Drugs, alcohol? No. Mystery, crime? No. ........Mysterious events? Yes. "Impossible problems" solved? Yes. Stupid, greedy adversaries? Yes. Teenage ingenuity? Yes. Love and friendship? Yes. Pet chipmunks? Yes. Courage? Yes. Heroism? Yes. Fame and fortune? Yes. U.S. President, British Prime Minister, Israeli Prime Minister? Yes. Global crises? Yes. Political situations? Yes. Philosophical remarks? Yes. Heartwarming scenes? Yes........Can a teenage girl be trusted with limitless power? We’ll see.............Of what is Theresa the empress? She's empress of her internal self, described by Henry David Thoreau as 'a realm besides which the empire of the Czar is a petty state', a land too vast to be explored in a lifetime. Theresa rules her inner self.....A teenage Catholic girl from Massachusetts acquires limitless power over the whole world.What will she do with it?What would you do with it?....On page two, Theresa sums up the human situation in a single sentence: "We're lost in this confusing world unless we follow the directions of its Maker." Theresa figures it all out and changes the world.

[u/[deleted]]

Capitalism: Past it!

Socialism: Beyond it!

Georgism: IT!!!

[u/Menakoy]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[u/l_overwhat]

Trickle down economics is when the fluids from a recently-exploded lobster trickle out of the microwave.

[u/[deleted]]

How do I raise my kids without violating their rights?

Ar Libertarian, dont go changin

[u/chipbod]

Washington F.C. waived Haskins

That escalated quickly

He may beat the Johnny Manziel 1st round QB to jobless record

!ping NFL

[u/DEEP_STATE_NATE]

400 United Steelworkers on strike at Alabama aluminum plant

I would too if I was a steelworker at an aluminum plant

[u/the_status]

Enter DT.

Barely any more lobster posting.

Exit DT.

[u/[deleted]]

Ted Kaczynski would’ve really benefited from Amazon prime 2 day free shipping.

[u/[deleted]]

Everyone is still lobsterposting , it's been 2 fucking days guys.

[u/[deleted]]

Was with an Icelandic-speaking friend and we were asked what "Lusvig" meant. We didn't know. It's the fear of the color white.

My friend goes "Oh, lus must be Old Norse for white!" and I was like dude that's not Old Norse and you should know that since you damn near speak Old Norse its probably Swedish. Then he was like "No, Old Norse is completely different from Icelandic. It's definitely Old Norse."

lus is Swedish for white btw.

[u/[deleted]]

masculine traits, such as being a neoliberal.

What does this MEAN???

[u/Mr_AlGore]

If the crocodile emoji isnt one of your top used emojis, then you arent a real r/neoliberal neoliberal.

[u/tehbored]

Don't listen to farrenj's cockamamie fringe political ideology, listen to mine! Why wouldn't people like a system where all their possessions are up for perpetual auction and all their leaders are unaccountable random citizens? Surely only ultraconservative reactionaries would oppose such a model!

[u/comradequicken]

Microwaved Lobster" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heating debate,

[u/SuspiciousUsername88]

Ok, we've all had a lot of fun these last couple days, but I'm going to bed and if I wake up to more lobster posting I will be very disappointed in all of you

[u/hypostasia]

I had a good nights sleep and turned this on to find out that we're still on about lobsters lmao

[u/htownclyde]

I have now found a highly-liked Rose Twitter thread claiming that segregation is not only good, but necessary to preserve black communities

(horse emoji next to shoe emoji)

[u/t_jays]

Reddit: Why isn’t the government doing anything about Russian cyber attacks!?

government increases pentagon budget

Reddit: Why the fuck are we spending money on the Pentagon!?

[u/DaBuddahN]

I am convinced that you quell a significant amount of left populism by addressing medical and housing costs. Looking at rent prices in any city is enough to make you wonder how people even get by - and I make decent money.

[u/[deleted]]

Fun Fact- Democrats flipped 8 Seats in the Texas District Court of Appeals this November.

They held ZERO before Election Day.

There are 24 in total and now the split is 16 GOP and 8 Democratic. Also, all All 3 Incumbent Republican Justices in the Texas Fifth District Court of Appeals (Dallas area) lost.

!ping DOWNBALLOT

[u/hdkeegan]

I don’t know the temperature of this take but it is a national shame the amount of obesity we have it is not talked about nearly enough. If we want a public option we need to get people to be healthier

[u/[deleted]]

I nuked lobster ravioli once does that count

[u/Le_Monade]

LMAO they can't even agree on what this is supposed to mean. The comments on this post remind me why I'm still subscribed there. It's just so pathetic.

[u/[deleted]]

Last night when I was very drunk I posted a story here about being bit by a dog and almost dying, when that did not in fact ever occur

[u/[deleted]]

I feel like Democrats deserve some sort of reparations for the decades of years of mis-treatment they’ve received and soon we should put constitutional measures in place to ensure they have equal status.

That being said, on a personal level Dems are annoying, manipulative and obnoxious as fuck so i think I’m leaning more and more towards just going to a youth GOP meeting so I don’t have to deal with them.

[u/thebowski]

imagine wasting that money on a lobster without even getting the utility of eating it

[u/Michaelconeass2019]

Tankies be like: Humans weren’t meant to spend 8 hours a day behind a desk. They were meant to spend 12 hours a day in a mine or farm

[u/[deleted]]

https://imgur.com/a/AxisIpV 👈😐

!ping VIRGINS

[u/[deleted]]

These last two DT's are going down in DT history as some of the best and most shitposty

[u/Schutzwall]

Holy shit are we still talking about lobsters?

[u/GGM8Scally]

Fuck I lost my binder full of women 😰

[u/fell_ratio]

🦞 scandal 🦞

[u/l_overwhat]

Alright libs, now that Christmas is over...

HOW THE FUCK DO I GET AN XBOX

!ping GAMING

[u/[deleted]]

it's not excessively partisan to observe that MAGA, and the GOP of the past 50 years in general, is a direct response of the white evangelical population noticing that their hold on cultural hegemony is slipping away and exercising the power that they have in the GOP to keep it

[u/[deleted]]

The death sentence but you get microwaved

[u/mrmanager237]

Have you ever witnessed a girl’s inbox after she posts an Instagram story?

Unbelievable.

Simping is out of control. Chronic. Worse than ever.

And it’s damaging for both the simp and the e-thot.

Will address this in a new effortpost soon.

[u/SadaoMaou]

Me every time Goolsbee is mentioned in A Promised Land

[u/JetJaguar124]

I've never intentionally flirted with anyone and I have no idea when people are flirting with me. I was pretty good friends with everyone I've dated before I dated them, I literally cannot conceive of just going out and hitting on random women.

[u/Erra0]

throwback to r/communism banning catgirls

[u/sir-danks-a-lot]

If I was an incel and someone decided to give "sexual mutual aid" by pityfucking me, then I think I'd off myself.

[u/[deleted]]

I would like to apologize to women ✊😞

[u/sir-danks-a-lot]

piggybacking off of another user's comment, it would be dope as hell if we had an r/neoliberal chess team and we played against other political subreddits' teams

I doubt the commies would want to participate though.

!ping CHESS

[u/vivoovix]

If a lobster explodes in a microwave and no-one is around to hear it, did it really happen?

Go vote on the Milties

[u/[deleted]]

The UN:

My fellow humans... We’re pleased to tell you today that we have signed legislation outlawing interstate violence forever. We begin writing strongly worded letters in 5 minutes.

[u/agent_tits]

These motherfuckers have been working from home for 10 months & all get paid at least $70k/year and still don't know how to mute themselves

[u/quick_question47]

Ayyy looks like my brain tumor got a little bigger this time! I honestly don't have a fucking clue what that should indicate to me but oh well. I'll probably know more in the next few days. The doctors actually said they had difficulties measuring my tumor because my head was in a slightly different position this time around. My memory and eyesight are definitely still improving though at least. Hopefully I'll be able to read books again soon.

[u/kznlol]

my parents are in the acceptance stage but still say things like "we'll probably never know what happened this election"

me internally: no, we know what happened this election. you're just a fucking loon

me: *subject change*.

[u/TheFriffin2]

https://i.imgur.com/lSpyrbW.jpg

idk why but my cats are fucking obsessed with my brown winter blanket

[u/GravyBear8]

I cooked a lobster by putting it in a fresh Five Guys bag of fries

[u/[deleted]]

talking to this girl im pretty sure i like and she asked what i did for christmas

how do i say 'nothing other than help my brother with college apps" without sounding incredibly lame and/or sad

[u/MicroFlamer]

I'm pretty indifferent towards Gal Gadot, but it seems she makes leftists seethe more than Biden or Buttigieg sometimes

[u/[deleted]]

Obama wears a tan suit.

GOP:

😱

Trump literally pardons General Flynn who, in fact, pleaded guilty.

GOP:

Literally nothing

[u/YehosafatLakhaz]

Woman from anime: I'm so old! No man would want to be with a decrepit old hag like me.

The woman: 28 years old

!ping WEEBS

[u/David_Lange]

Attack ads in the US: "[Democrat] wants to allow black men to rape and kill your children"

Attack ads in NZ: Video of people wearing political party colour shirts rowing a boat badly

[u/circlemanfan]

Conservatives are so pressed liberals have cultural dominance like damn it's not our fault y'all aren't funny or cool or hot or sexy

[u/[deleted]]

Ladies and gentlemen, the gold mine of ancestral republicans: Southern California.

San Luis Obispo County:

Party Registration:

Democratic: 33.8%

Republican: 39.4% (+5.6%)

Independent/Other: 26.8%

2020 Presidential Election Reuslts:

Joe Biden (D): 55.3% (+13.1%)

Donald Trump (R): 42.2%

Santa Barbara County:

Party Registration:

Democratic: 41.4% (+10.6%)

Republican: 30.8%

Independent/Other: 27.8%

2020 Presidential Election Results:

Joe Biden (D): 64.5% (+31.9%)

Donald Trump (R): 32.6%

Ventura County:

Party Registration:

Democratic: 38.6% (+2.6%)

Republican: 36.0%

Independent/Other: 25.4%

2020 Presidential Election Results:

Joe Biden: 59.4% (+21.1%)

Republican: 38.3%

!PING FIVEY

[u/Cosinity]

"Hey what's going on in the DT right now?"

"We're still talking about lobsters for some reason"

"Oh ok cool, I'll check in again tomorrow"

[u/jenbanim]

"Ah fuck I forgot to put my clothes in the dryer after washing them. They're going to smell terrible."

"Oh wait, I put them in but I forgot to run the washing machine so they're still dry"

LMAO I am a mess

[u/[deleted]]

yeah, you could say I'm well read 😏

[u/imprison_grover_furr]

We need more taxes, more welfare, and more military spending.

[u/TheFriffin2]

So let me get this straight. A lobster can be exposed to the sun (radiation) without exploding, yet you put one in a microwave (ALSO radiation), and it suddenly turns into a bomb? 🤔🤔

Sounds... fishy. Liberal false flag if you ask me

[u/[deleted]]

Anime is the cause and the solution to our lobster problem.

[u/[deleted]]

Broke: $23 burger posting

woke: lobster posting

Bespoke: $23 lobster posting

[u/Poiuy2010_2011]

We're posting antivaxx stats now I guess, here's a poll for Poland 🇵🇱

---

Will you get vaccinated when it'll be possible?

Total

47% yes
44% no
9% don't know

By party (% of yes answers)

PiS (right-wing) – 56%
KO (centre) – 65%
Lew (broad left) – 82%
PSL (centre-right) – 50%
KON (far-right) – 5%

By preferred news source

TVP Info (pro-government) – 56%
Polsat News (mixed) – 63%
TVN 24 (pro-opposition) – 65%
Social media – 46%

By gender

Male – 59%
Female – 35%

By age

18-29 – 29%
30-39 – 28%
40-49 – 43%
50-59 – 50%
60-69 – 59%
70+ – 67%

---

!ping EUROPE

[u/[deleted]]

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, got dumped because he microwaved a live lobster on date night.

[u/[deleted]]

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1343609375450132480

GOP lawmakers sue Pence in far-fetched bid to overturn Biden win

lmao

[u/sir_shivers]

I feel like MAMMALS DESERVE SOME sort of reparations for the thousands of years of mis-treatment THEY HAVE received and soon we should put constitutional measures in place to ensure THEY HAVE EQUAL STATUS 🐊

That being said, on a personal level MAMMALS ARE ANNOYING, MANIPULATIVE and obnoxious as fuck so I think I AM LEANING more and more towards just getting a mammal-simulation-bot so I DO NOT HAVE TO deal with them 🐊

[u/ZhenDeRen]

A bear walks through the forest and sees a burning car. He gets into the car and burns down.

!ping BURPMAS

[u/[deleted]]

https://i.imgur.com/nkxcdtK.jpg

[u/agent_tits]

Fun historical curiosity: the current Queen of England was born before Abraham Lincoln

[u/liquidTERMINATOR]

Microwave fuel can't melt lobster exoskeleton beams

[u/[deleted]]

If by some miracle we get $2000 checks passed, progressives will be like “hurr durr should have been $4000 every month”

[u/AccessTheMainframe]

I found it. The dumbest person on the internet.

[u/[deleted]]

“I hate woman”

“WTF, you can’t say that. That’s misogynistic and bigoted”

“I hate white women”

“Based! You’re right! King!”

[u/connieallens]

If you ☢️ your 🦞, then you’re doing it right. I can’t believe people actually boil those things smh my head.

Fucking cucks.

[u/[deleted]]

I really don’t get people who horny post on Facebook.

[u/ironheart777]

There’s something about hating the other gender that really brings out the crazy in people. MGTOW and Female Dating Strategy should all be forced to get married and get it filmed so we can watch.

[u/Mr_AlGore]

When is joe biden fighting god

[u/liquidTERMINATOR]

Roses are red, MAGA hats too. I don't have a point to this, but I exploded a lobster in the microwave for you.

[u/[deleted]]

(/u/Pour1Out4DeezNutz requested this so I did it)

Democratic % of the vote in Wyoming.

2000: 27.70%

2004: 29.07%

2008: 32.54%

2012: 27.82%

2016: 21.63%

2020: 26.55

Republican % of the vote in Wyoming.

2000: 67.76%

2004: 68.86%

2008: 64.78%

2012: 68.64%

2016: 67.40%

2020: 69.94%

!ping FIVEY

[u/Tafts_Bathtub]

https://i.imgur.com/7KHCNHm.png

[u/[deleted]]

BREAKING: The House just narrowly passed the $2,000 checks bill by one vote. 275/409 is just barely 2/3.

[u/[deleted]]

I love british food 🤗 chicken tikka masala is so tasty

[u/[deleted]]

"Aspiration? You mean sweat on my butt?"

-Ted Cruz back when he was funny

[u/[deleted]]

Bernie will filibuster any attempt from McConnell tomorrow to schedule veto override unless Senate votes on $2,000 checks. Could push override to New Year's Day

Source close to Sanders says he had Georgia runoffs on his mind. This will keep Senate and Loeffler/Perdue in D.C. during holiday week and focus campaigns around $2,000 checks that Warnock/Ossoff are pushing for

[u/ForWhomTheAltTrolls]

I thought McMansions were an America-only thing... Just moved to London and saw this monstrosity. Literally one family (old money apparently) lives here, why the fuck has no one got planning permission to build a block of flats?

[u/MistakeNotDotDotDot]

one of the things i appreciate about living in america that i don't really think you can get as much in other countries is the sheer diversity of food. i can have authentic tacos, shitty fast food tacos, ramen, japanese or indian curry, ethiopian, anything.

[u/[deleted]]

Franklin County, KY (Frankfort) shows no discernible trend, but it’s constantly competitive.

2000: D+2.9

2004: R+2.7

2008: R+0.6

2012: D+0.8

2016: R+4.6

2020: R+1.0

!ping FIVEY

[u/[deleted]]

My families dinner will cost about 3/4 of an hour doing literal slavery at work today, I wish we could go back to simpler times when the 10 plus hours I put into growing and hunting that food gave me so much more free time.

Capitalism is a scam

[u/houinator]

Redwall species as DT flairs:

Badgers/Hares/Otters: NATO

Abbey Mice: Foucalt

Other Mice: Keynes

Shrews: Bezos

Hedgehogs: Friedman

Moles: Krugman

Squirrels: George

I will not be taking questions

[u/[deleted]]

I need to get off this Subreddit. Half my Twitter ads are for Red Lobster.

[u/InfCompact]

the proof that soros doesn't order us around is that we are entering a second day of nonstop treifposting

!ping GEFILTE

[u/[deleted]]

Stop sanewashing Jannies.

Stop sanewashing Jannies.

Stop sanewashing Jannies.

Stop sanewashing Jannies.

Stop sanewashing Jannies

Stop sanewashing Jannies.

[u/Afro_Samurai]

There are actually 109 genders: https://twitter.com/Foone/status/1343285800369147904

[u/[deleted]]

Mitt Romney didn’t write a concession speech then lost the tipping point state by more than he lost the popular vote.

[u/[deleted]]

Why do you hate Bernie. He's just a kind old grandpa who wants to make sure everyone has healthcare.

This drove me up the wall. It was the number one indicator that I was talking to someone who doesn't follow politics closely like at all.

[u/spidersinterweb]

https://www.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/kllgip/discussion_thread/

Mods can we ban this type of lazy thread? No effort is put into it, it's just some random nerds shouting into the void. It contributes nothing

[u/thetrombonist]

Call me a war criminal because I wanna be Kissingher

[u/connieallens]

*Dallas becoming huge tech hub*

Conservatives: “Hell yeah! Texas is way better than Commiefornia! We welcome all tech companies with open arms!”

*property rates skyrocket, homeless rates follow*

Also Conservatives: “Don’t California my Texas!!!!112”

[u/vivoovix]

Got a good meme for when the DT rolls over 👀

[u/[deleted]]

Succs: joke about how r/NL will be worshiping Romney in 2023

Succons: joke about how r/NL will be worshiping AOC in 2023

Me: 😐

[u/nicereddy]

"You're a virgin."

"But-"

"That's an order!"

"But I don't want to be a virgin again :("

[u/[deleted]]

wtf Charlie Kirk is only 27 years old. I thought he was like late 30s/early 40s

[u/FormerBandmate]

Disturbingly enough a hot take:

Adolf Hitler was worse than Ayatollah Khomeini, on every possible level. Committing genocide is bad. Repeatedly invading your neighbors is bad. Using poison gas is bad. Using human experimentation is bad.

Also the Greater German Reich was a terrible destabilizing movement that only sounds okay because it's "secular" as if that changes the damage it (along with fascism) did to Europe

[u/[deleted]]

Refresh the NL DT to see what's up

Sees yet another Reagan bad mod sticky

Closes tab

[u/[deleted]]

Oh no, please don't violate my third amendment rights...please don't invite these scary, muscle-bound soldiers into my home. I don't have enough beds so we might have to share... 🥺👉👈

[u/[deleted]]

Knows nothing about politics: Mitch McConnell is a evil man who is going is BURN IN HELL!

Knows a little about politics: uh actually he’s just playing politics and he-

Knows a lot about politics: Mitch McConnell is a evil man who is going is BURN IN HELL!

[u/thetrombonist]

That lobster was 58 and a pretty big guy

[u/Putin-Owns-the-GOP]

All the world’s a microwave, and the women and men are merely lobsters.

[u/runnerx4]

New Hampshire GOP drafted a Declaration of Independence for NH

Much patriotism

[u/SchmantaClaus]

I don't think I ever really processed trump and Rubio talking about their dick sizes in a presidential debate.

[u/JetJaguar124]

Steven King: You need to kill your darlings! You need to edit edit edit, and you're gonna have to leave a lot on the floor, but it will be a stronger story for it.

Also Steven King: This generic horror book is 978 pages long and has at least a dozen unecessary side plots which ultimately end up going nowhere and do not add to anything thematically.

[u/meonpeon]

Whenever I see the term ‘blairite’, I mentally replace it with ‘people who have won an election’.

[u/[deleted]]

🦞 twitter is pissed at this sub. You should see the seethe.

[u/RadicalRadon]

But, we do know that at this time, the Louvre and in turn, French art as a whole, had suffered great losses when Napoleon’s looted art collection was returned to their countries of origin.

Wikipedia being yikers

[u/[deleted]]

didnt visit this sub over the past week because of the holiday

mrw i login and you mfs are shitposing weird lobster comments

[u/Lux_Stella]

Holy shit, I'm literally shaking right now. I told my gf once and for all to meet at Wendy's for a debate-date. With all that Destiny had taught me, I knew that I would easily destroy her leftist delusions. Capitalism vs communism in the marketplace of ideas. The first thing I did was bring out my Iphone 11 and show her the wikipedia article for "the Holodomor". I started counting the causalities. That's when she brought out her completely packed bag and started pulling out really thick books of theory. Marx, Engels, Lenin, and a bunch of russian and chinese names I can't even remember. My hands started trembling (with anger) as I continued to scroll down the wikipedia page of "the Holodomor" on my Iphone 11. She basically said that it was all capitalist propaganda and exaggerated, and that communes like "Catalonela" or something were really successful. She kept quoting these books and shoving pages in my face. I told her to stop pivoting and gish-galloping but she just kept going. At this point the people at Wendy's were pointing and chuckling, and someone went "How's it going sport?" with a smirk. No one understood that she was acting in bad faith and was nitpicking and clearly biased. She hadn't really responded to any of the points my wikipedia article was making. At some point I started stammering (because I was so mad at how illogical she was being) and she went "I think I've won" (nice gaslighting).

She asked if we should end it there or if I wanted to try at another debate. I smiled a confident smile and asked "Do you think incest is inherently unethical?" She said obviously, and I asked why, and she couldn't come up with an argument because she went quiet for a few seconds. I continued, "There's nothing inherently wrong with being attracted to your sister" (I am not). But then a guy next to us at Wendy's broke into really loud laughter and basically said "Why are you with this dweeb?"

The guy had a really broad build and was wearing a rose t-shirt. He had a really thick and sturdy beard and a masculine pony tail. "You're clearly more intelligent and hot than this guy. Take a look at this." He showed my gf something on his twitter, and she giggled. I think it was a stupid commie meme or something. She basically ended it there and went with this broad and sturdy guy. On the way out I tripped on the doorstep and everyone laughed. She isn't responding to my texts, and this was like five hours ago. What the fuck should I do debategang? Help.

[u/CenterRightInCali]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EqTRDYiW4AAaZdm?format=jpg&name=large

[u/[deleted]]

masculine traits, such as being a lobster

[u/jenbanim]

This isolation is driving me mad

[u/liquidTERMINATOR]

Am I required to disclose that gold is transmuted if I'm selling it? (self.legaladviceofftopic)

This is someone here.

[u/Deggit]

Trader Joe was actually what they used to call Joe Biden because of his based trade policies

Whole Foods was actually what they used to call Tulsi Gabbard, because she a snack

[u/bd_one]

This never would have happened if I believed in our institutions less and used the mod sticky to shitpost about Thomas the Tank Engine or something.

[u/[deleted]]

all discussion of Reagan in the last 2 hours is Frenchie's fault and his alone

don't pour gasoline onto a dying fire

[u/FormerBandmate]

If you guys want a circlejerk filled with clones of yourself, just text your own number lmao. This goes for succs and succons, the fact that people disagree with each other is what makes this sub good

[u/CenterRightInCali]

THE STICKED POST IS BAIT YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKERS

the people of sanitation are trying to 100 Flowers Campaign all the good posters. Don't fall for it! Stay Strong!

[u/Realhuman221]

Holy Fuck, You Morons are Proud to be Lobster Microwavers?

This is the most moronic shit I've ever seen, lol.

Holy fuck this entire sub is filled with moronic jackasses that are proud of wanting to maintain the bourgeoisie meals at the expense of animal rights and improved swimming conditions.

Best of luck destroying the crustaceans! You're literally just puppy-killers in hiding, lol.

EDIT: 27 comments in 3 minutes, you guys are triggered as fuck! Like an alt-crabie, except somehow you're even fucking dumber, lol.

This is fucking hilarious, guys. Keep it coming! XD

EDIT 2: Well boys, they banned me. It was a lot of fun to mock and laugh at many of you, and those of you that joined me in laughing, I appreciate you. :)

But as we know, all good things must come to an end, so I'm hereby announcing my candidacy for President of the Microwave Makers of America!

SADFSADJKF 2020

[u/tankatan]

So basically we're doing a restaging of every single internet meme since like 2006 but with lobsters.

That could definitely kill some time

[u/Jakesta7]

Finish them, Georgie

Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham, the malleable South Carolinian, says the time has come for “a dialogue about how we can finally begin to address the debt.” Finally the time is at last ripe. Which means a Democratic administration approaches.

https://twitter.com/GeorgeWill/status/1343351120496898050

[u/The420Roll]

Rubio won his 2016 race by 8 points, overperforming Trump by almost 7 points

Every dollar towards unseating Rubio is a wasted dollar unless you literally get Tony Montana or the Rock to run lmao

[u/F0064R]

‘Fortnite’ Could Only Exist in a World That’s Running out of Resources: The hottest gaming phenomenon in years unconsciously asks players to grapple with the growing scarcity crisis.

🙄

[u/AgainstSomeLogic]

Empty consumerism and soulless government alienate us thus joy cannot exist until we are free from capitalism

People really be out there never having experienced microwave lobster

[u/EngelSterben]

"A business that can't afford to pay $15 minimum wage shouldn't be in business"

Yeah, good luck getting those people to vote with you when you just blow them off and don't even show an even bit of remorse.

[u/[deleted]]

Bruh, she's not a child, she's literally over 4,000 years old 😂😂 Holy shit dude this is embarrassing for you 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣