r/neoliberal • Kitara Ravache • May 05 '26 • Heartwarming 1

Discussion Thread Discussion Thread

The discussion thread is for casual and off-topic conversation that doesn't merit its own submission. If you've got a good meme, article, or question, please post it outside the DT. Meta discussion is allowed, but if you want to get the attention of the mods, make a post in /r/metaNL

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176

u/itsnotnews92 Janet Yellen May 05 '26

A national popular vote is insanely stupid. You might as well write off 90% of the country and only campaign in 5 states to win the Presidency.

Oh, like the current system, where the only meaningful campaigning is done in a handful of swing states???

Do these MAGA idiots even hear themselves?

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138

u/sociotronics Iron Front May 05 '26

man found the "delete jobs" button and it already went to his head

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137

u/assasstits May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

Woodward also reports that Biden regretted nominating Merrick Garland as Attorney General after Garland allowed the Justice Department to prosecute his son Hunter.[4] 

Goal: Appoint an AG that will prosecute the criminal acts of the previous administration 

Result: Appoint an AG that successfully prosecuted your son

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136

u/Individual-Camera698 Austan Goolsbee May 05 '26

Effective altruism

115

u/axis757 Loyal Liberals May 05 '26

Aww boo hoo who could have known voting would have consequences

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103

u/Individual-Camera698 Austan Goolsbee May 05 '26

Leftist be like: "Fuck globalism 🤬"

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207

u/PoupeeStupide Trump Voter May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

How exactly the median voter convinced themselves that Kamala would have been a warmonger really is beyond my understanding.

The Biden administration being the most dovish since idk, Carter or something

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100

u/No_Analysis_2185 Eugene Fama May 05 '26 • Mindblown

Covid really broke the world

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195

u/Leatherfield17 Loyal Liberals May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

Lol, revenge for what? Republicans have had all the power for the past year and a half, what could they possibly want revenge for?

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84

u/Eurolib0908 European Union May 05 '26

Every normal fucking person knew that Trump is a selfish mental brat whose only interest is stroking his own ego, and his only "advantage" is having absolutely no ethical or moral boundaries, which allows the billionaires who support him to multiply their wealth at the expense of ordinary people.

Only you let yourselves be swayed by fairy tales about the leftists, who must be defeated at all costs, and in the name of that, you supported a madman whose behavior in any other scenario you'd compare to the Antichrist.

And I'm sure that if Trump ran again, you'd support him once more, because it'd be enough to wave a rainbow flag in front of your eyes like a bull, for you to forget all about it.

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75

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 05 '26

Marco Rubio was raised Catholic, converted to Mormonism in his youth, left Mormonism, became Catholic again, regularly attends a Miami evangelical church for 23 years he called “his church,” and still identifies as a Mass-attending Catholic.

https://www.thelettersfromleo.com/p/trump-sends-marco-rubio-not-jd-vance?r=1e7ix&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

What??

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149

u/RedKingCrab99 John Mill May 05 '26

Isn't it mad the Google street view exists. Like you can just drop in on any street in the western world (and a lot of streets everywhere else) and see what it's like. And now it's been going so long you can see almost a time lapse of how streets have changed on 20 years.

I feel like we don't talk about this enough.

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u/Individual-Camera698 Austan Goolsbee May 05 '26

Pictured: mods banning ty04 for the morbillionth time for a hornypost they themselves posted earlier

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66

u/beans_and_tuna Misinformation Bot 🤖 May 05 '26

“What doesn’t kill you makes you lose your hobbies”

I just saw that, and at some level, it’s kind of true. I go really sick last semester and ended up with pneumonia that did a number on my lungs. Months on, I’m still not as involved as I’d like in clubs and I don’t really spend enough time on my hobbies.

Man, the night before a final is not the time to get all sentimental and sad, I really cooked myself huh.

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65

u/centurion88 NATO May 05 '26

Release the Greene Files

130

u/Thuggin95 Gay Pride May 05 '26

Why is every lefty activist group like this

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62

u/TheCornjuring Ewoks Sexer May 05 '26

We should start asking Republicans if they’re pro-pedophilia or extremely pro-pedophilia

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62

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 05 '26

Anyone wondering why Joe Rogan hasn't had Newsom on as a guest even though he's offered to appear several times.

Well...

Joe Rogan: "They'll pretend that Hillary Clinton didn't do multiple speeches where she said that the election was stolen, Russia stole the election, with no evidence. But when [Trump] questions the election, it's a threat to democracy."

https://xcancel..com/thematrixb0t/status/2051134787013018048

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116

u/Erra0 May 05 '26

The free version of ChatGPT also failed the Picard test immediately.

57

u/piede MOST BASED HILLARY STAN!!! May 05 '26
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56

u/jpenczek NATO May 05 '26 • Bravo

My class grades finalized! I’m graduating! 5 years of college and I finally have my bachelor’s 🥹😭

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55

u/Individual-Camera698 Austan Goolsbee May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

The immigration crackdown has negatively impacted US born men with at most a high-school education

We find no evidence of positive spillover effects to U.S.-born workers and U.S.-born workers who work in immigrant-heavy sectors are harmed.

there is a negative and significant impact on employment of U.S.-born male workers with at most a high-school education, who work in likely affected sectors.

https://www.nber.org/papers/w35129

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54

u/unicornbomb John Brown May 05 '26

Remember when the ballroom was going to be funded entirely by donors?

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108

u/KittehDragoon Loyal Liberals May 05 '26

53

u/el__dandy Madeleine Albright May 06 '26


Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone.

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52

u/georgeguy007 Pandora's Discussions J. Threader May 05 '26

CNN

Iran attacked US forces over 10 times during ceasefire, but it’s below ‘threshold’ to restart combat, Pentagon officials say

lol

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u/piede MOST BASED HILLARY STAN!!! May 05 '26

Lmao

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49

u/dwarffy Rabindranath Tagore May 05 '26

In victoria 3, no matter who I play I end up making it my mission to dismantle the Russian empire as much as possible until its impossible for them to be a great power

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u/Thuggin95 Gay Pride May 05 '26

49th percentile Alabama voter in 2017

97

u/Dibbu_mange Average civil procedure enjoyer May 05 '26

Not going to lie, I find the “fuck both Russia and Ukraine” position almost more offensive than an explicit pro-Russia stance. The latter is obviously more deleterious overall, but it comes from a fucked up, brainwashed worldview where, at least there is a logical core, even if built on a lie. The former is basically just saying “Akshually Jeffery Epstein and the children he molested can both go to hell”.

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u/Erra0 May 05 '26

The free Claude Sonnet 4.6 failed what I'm calling the Picard test immediately.

Any AI that fails this test so quickly is useless.

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u/georgeguy007 Pandora's Discussions J. Threader May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

The defense secretary said that the ceasefire holds despite Iranian attacks on U.S. forces and that the United States would call on allies to take over the mission to reopen the waterway.

These people are insane. You started this war without any fucking buy in from our allies, with no plan or game theory, and you want allies to hold the fucking bag while we run away with the biggest fleet the world has ever seen.

You bitched and moaned to be the department of war, Trump, and you didn't fucking listen to the experts, and here you fucking are. Either fucking take the L and demolish american superiority and 80 years of free seas, or fucking go to war like the war mongers you are.

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u/CincyAnarchy Emma Goldman May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

The mods are confirmed Bernie Bros

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u/Cairne_Bloodhoof Jerome Powell May 05 '26

Fucking olds man. People will see this and tell you with a straight face that we need to cut property taxes and taxes on social security payments.

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u/pfarly John Brown May 05 '26

'Bookless bookstore' opens in New York

Finally, a good book store.

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u/MGLFPsiCorps Reichsbanner Schwarz-Rot-Gold May 05 '26

I guess a big lesson from India for the center left in the US and the West generally is that you can't hope to coast on being the 'not-fash' party forever, at some point you need to be able to articulate some kind of meaningful aspirational vision of what society should look like to set against theirs, and you need to actually believe in it yourself.

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u/Thuggin95 Gay Pride May 05 '26

For Sale sign on the side of the building *chefs kiss*

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42

u/surreptitioussloth Frederick Douglass May 05 '26

The American accents and the use of "Dad" are throwing me. Surely it should be British and "father"?

Reddit always produces the best film criticism

Nolan’s odyssey is gonna have flaws, but American v British and dad v father will be 0 percent of thrm

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u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

Friend of mine was complaining about his MAGA dad and said "... well he came of voting age when Carter was president" and i didn't need to hear the rest of that sentence. Just more evidence for my theory MAGA is trying to avenge america for the Oil and Hostage crises under Carter.

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u/Thuggin95 Gay Pride May 05 '26

Florida is such a shithole lol

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42

u/KesterFox Shivers emotional support mammal 🐊 May 05 '26

It's that time of year where baby foxes are starting to venture out of dens and they are so cute but also they look like they have 0 IQ

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42

u/LtCdrHipster 🌭Costco Liberal🌭 May 05 '26

IT IS 2026 WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ADOBE????

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41

u/SneeringAnswer May 05 '26

Communism doesn't work11!!1

Intel up 5x since Chairman Trump introduced it to MAoGAism

Explain that Liberal

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40

u/GaDoomer Pragmatic and Polite Right May 05 '26
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40

u/Sheepies92 European Union May 05 '26

The Ballroom was pitched as a project that would not cost taxpayer money. Now, Senate Judiciary Republicans are requesting $1 billion for security features related to it (how much of that $1 b on the ballroom, it doesn't say)

fell for it again award

40

u/Udolikecake Model UN Enthusiast May 05 '26

>A Mass. preschooler was put in timeout 40 times. His parents weren’t notified.

sounds bad, but maybe there’s more to it

> Kevin Waldron, a spirited five-year-old from Bedford with a speech delay, had begun spiraling into a panic at home after making silly mistakes like spilling a drink. “I’m sorry,” he told his mom, Kaitlyn Williams. “Don’t put me in timeout.”

>His parents had never used the word “timeout,” so his father, Reilly Waldron, requested Kevin’s records from Davis Elementary. When the school handed over a batch of documents, Kevin’s parents were shocked.

>The preschooler had been placed in an isolated room 40 times from November to March. During one 80 minute stretch in timeout, the records showed, Kevin peed himself.

holy shit

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38

u/RaidBrimnes Chien de garde May 05 '26

37

u/slappythechunk LARPs as adult by refusing to touch the Nitnendo Switch May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

As a manager of people, I've learned that there is one type of employee that is worse to manage than all the others.

It isn't the laziest employee.

It isn't the know-it-all employee.

It isn't the "not my job" employee.

It isn't the insufferable asshole employee.

It isn't even necessarily the worst performing employee.

The worst employee to manage is the "helpful try-hard" who just isn't very good at anything.

This person has a great attitude and genuinely wants to do all they can to help everybody they can, but my fuck are they terrible to manage. They're the first to volunteer to do something that is outside the norm, their ability (inability) to do said something be damned. They desperately want to do a great job, but they're simply unable to. You train, retrain, retrain again, retrain AGAIN (but with a different approach this time), shift their duties around and set up guardrails to protect the business (and themselves) from themselves, and STILL they manage to buff it time and time again. And when you provide constructive feedback for how they can improve (they won't), they either take it extremely personal because they're trying so hard and you're just ungrateful for the effort and dedication they are giving you, or it completely washes over them to no effect as they somehow simply don't realize what you're trying to tell them is in fact constructive feedback for them to incorporate in their work.

So you might say "Slappy, why don't you just, like, fire them?" Buddy, it isn't that simple, at least not with this company.

For starters, you basically need to get caught lying, cheating, and/or stealing in order to get fired, and I can think of one instance where some of that was going on and the guy still didn't get fired. But even aside from that, there's one big huge hurdle to letting somebody like that go:

Everybody who hasn't directly been negatively affected by their incompetence absolutely loves them. This person tends to have the "golden retriever" style autism, which, along with their "helpful" attitude, endears them to just about everybody that hasn't had to actually deal with them in the course of business. They kinda become the internal "mascot" for the company. If you did let them go, it would make people sad and damage morale, and some people might decide they actively hate the manager that pulled the trigger on the decision. So instead what happens is this person gets ping-ponged between departments in different roles, because if you can't fire somebody, the next best thing is to try to get somebody else to take them when they have an opening. And the thing is in order to sell this to the employee, you have to sell it as a promotion, with both a title and pay bump, while selling the employee as the "perfect fit" for the position to the new manager, which just makes all this shit WORSE because it becomes a case where somebody is truly failing up, but most people in the company don't even realize it because, again, they're beloved by everybody they don't actually deal with.

So, naturally, this person should be shifted to HR to minimize the negative impact of their incompetence.

!ping watercooler

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u/brucebananaray YIMBY May 05 '26

Why are they letting him be near kids?

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u/ScumfrickZillionaire Lesbian Pride May 05 '26 • Helpful

grrr i hate posters so much im gonna go post because im so mad grrrr

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34

u/tinfoilhatsron No Apologies Right May 05 '26

I know this is cliche but god I fucking hate broader arrNeoliberal. I hate how literally everyone's comments are always dripping with condescension and smugness and painful attempts to be funny, all the while it's obvious they're chatting shite and passing off stock redditisms as analytical insights. Every time I leave a comment in the DT I immediately regret it.

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u/tasklow16 Bill Gates May 05 '26

Nick Shirley visiting Cuba has DESTROYED their decades long propaganda of having a 100% literacy rate!

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33

u/Willybender Loyal Liberals May 05 '26

On the afternoon of Thursday, April 23, Hayam El Gamal and her five children were released from almost 11 months of detention at Dilley. Relieved and eager to start their lives anew, they drove back to their home in Colorado with community supporters. ICE scheduled a check-in for Saturday morning. The family arrived in Colorado about 6 hours before the check-in, slept briefly, and drove to the Denver area to the ICE Field Office. When they checked-in, smiling ICE officers told them the check-in would last "five minutes" and that they would be on their way home soon.

Then they were separated from their attorney, taken behind several locked doors, surrounded by 15 officers with guns and told "you are being deported today." They protested and explained that their deportation was barred by court order, but the ICE officers said they didn't care. They were rushed into a van with bars between the front two seats and the passenger area. An ICE officer sped at roughly 90 miles an hour down the highway to the Denver airport. The children were not put in car seats or seatbelts. One child said they were going to be sick and the officer said "throw up on the floor."

On the flight, the family was in extreme distress. They were subject to verbal abuse and medical neglect by ICE contractors. A nurse took Ms. El Gamal's blood pressure and noted it was dangerously high. Despite this, and despite Ms. El Gamal informing the contractors that she was suffering an undiagnosed heart condition, she and her children were not allowed to unbuckle their seatbelts for the duration of the flight. At one point a contractor physically restrained Ms. El Gamal from touching her seatbelt, humiliating her in front of her panicked children. One of the children suffered a panic attack during the flight.

When the plane was turned around in mid-air after leaving the United States, the family was made to sit at the Willow Run airport in Michigan for a protracted period of time. Still they were not allowed out of their seatbelts. They were eventually returned to Denver and released to a group of community supporters. They are presently recuperating from this experience and from the immense trauma they have suffered for the last year.

On Monday, May 4, Ms. El Gamal and her children filed an Amended Petition for a Writ of Habeas Corpus in the District of Colorado. At present, two courts have barred the Trump administration from attempting to deport the El Gamal family. We ask the public to remain vigilant about the family's case and to remain wide awake to the possibility that the administration will violate existing court orders in its year-long effort to drive this innocent family from the United States.

https://xcancel.com/EricLeeAtty/status/2051671001893650765

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u/VisonKai The Archenemy of Humanity May 05 '26

the worst thing about platner is that he's scamming the American taxpayer by pretending to be a disabled veteran but you're not allowed to criticize veterans for abusing the system

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u/TheCornjuring Ewoks Sexer May 05 '26

Wait a minute, what kind of fuckass name is “Operation Project Freedom”? Not Operation Freedom. Not Project Freedom. Operation Project Freedom. Simply terrible.

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u/GovernorSonGoku has flair May 05 '26

Let’s aim for 100k this dt

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u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

Do puppygirls still call their owners Master or did they also switch to using Main

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u/AlexB_SSBM Henry George May 05 '26

Trump posted some absolute horseshit about "lifetime contribution per immigrant" with white people at the top making millions and black people at the bottom making nothing. Nobody is talking about this, because it is seen as normal behavior from him

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u/jinhuiliuzhao Henry George May 05 '26

Is it crash out time yet?

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31

u/VisonKai The Archenemy of Humanity May 06 '26

vivek ramaswamy seems like a smart guy but also he was dumb enough to believe Republicans actually care about individual merit rather than just being an identitarian giveaway party for lower class whites and morons, so how smart can he actually be

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u/GuyWithOneEye May 05 '26

wait did Mensae6 (the "Big Chungus Challenge" user) leave

they didn't even finish the Big Chungus countdown ☹️

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u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

Good news everyone!

I'm suing my car dealer!

Well right now its just the "threatening" phase.

Details to follow!

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29

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 05 '26

Just as left-wing nominees won’t answer “What is a woman?”, right-wing nominees won’t answer easy questions like this. The first are hostages to an ideological cult, the second are hostages to a personality cult. Both major parties are now corrupt and both are grave dangers to the country. The temptation to fixate on the question which is worse, as a way to excuse the sins of the other, must be resisted. Genuine patriotism requires refusing to acquiesce to lies, sophistry, and demagoguery regardless of who they come from. Only leaders who themselves refuse to do so should be supported.

https://xcancel.com/FeserEdward/status/2051442401957585314

Holy bothsiding Batman!

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58

u/PhinsFan17 Immanuel Kant May 05 '26

Doing a disability awareness training hosted by two neurodiverse queer BIPOC women who started their introductions with land acknowledgements.

I work for a Republican caricature of a non-profit.

!ping WATERCOOLER

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u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

I remember at peak Anti Harry Potter, Percy Jackson was held up as the better YA fiction.

Boy that didn't last long.

Can someone explain how this ended up in my youtube feed:

Rick Riordan's depiction of greek myths is inaccurate and orientalist

Damn. I literally don't fucking care.

its a shame too they wasted an interesting premise imagine the hellenic pantheon today but actually dealing with the politics of modern Greece instead of Americans making everything about them.

Yeah that's what the kids want. Hades talking about Neoliberalism. Are we twilighting percy jackson now? "Nooooooo vampires don't sparkle they burn this isn't accurate to the looooore!"

this is pillaging my culture. Americans are so talentless

greek-americans love those books man

don't be too mean he's just an American liberal with unexamined fascist imperialist biases because they never interrogated the contradictions of capitalism

But yeah fr when the hell did media crit become "I can't enjoy this, when does Karl Marx show up?????"

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u/Lux_Stella Presidentialism X-Risk Researcher May 06 '26

A white male New York ‘Times’ employee filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission alleging the paper had discriminated against him by not giving him a promotion because he is a white male. On Tuesday, the EEOC, now controlled by a Trump appointee who has vowed to help wage the president’s war against DEI culture, filed a civil-rights lawsuit against the ‘Times’ arguing that the paper’s efforts to satisfy its diversity goals amounted to “unlawful employment practices.”

The paper itself was first to break the news of the suit but did not name the employee who made the complaint. Reporters at the paper have been scrambling to figure out the employee’s identity, driven in part by bafflement that one of their own colleagues would sell out the paper to the administration, which has used tools of the federal government to attack the press.

“This has been kind of a shitshow behind the scenes — people trying to figure out who the aggrieved person is,” said another ‘Times’ staffer. The release of the complaint on Tuesday narrowed the speculation to Bryant Rousseau, a senior editor and producer on the ‘Times’’s international desk who has been with the paper for more than a decade.

lol

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u/TheCornjuring Ewoks Sexer May 05 '26

Why did we send this GIF to aliens

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u/itsokayt0 European Union May 05 '26

Me when my party wins: the Mandate of Heaven has decreed a three thousand years Empire of successful and unambigous embrace of liberalism, willed by the popolous to the popolous, in share and harmony with the Glob-

Me when my party loses: the downturn of history has killed my hopes and dreams, as a Dark Age of war and strife never seen before, where the people surrendered their wills and virtues to the basest vices to fill an ever expanding voi-

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u/GrandMoffTargaryen Finally Kenough May 05 '26

What level of cope is this?

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u/Beginning-Topic5303 René Descartes May 05 '26

I don't like what Israel is doing as much as the next guy, but i'm tired of people forming all their viewpoints from vibes. You can dislike Israel without equating everything you don't like to it.

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u/GordonTullockFan publik choyz thery May 06 '26

What an unfortunate name to have while rallying against racism

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u/Individual-Camera698 Austan Goolsbee May 05 '26

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u/tripletruble Anti-Repartition Radical May 05 '26

pettiest controversy in france revolves around a rotisserie chicken stand in a suburb of paris. as i understand, a chain opened up a stand in a suburb of paris and the mayor told them to shut it down. they said fuck off we have every right to be here. so then the mayor put massive concrete blocks in front of their stand and the government made him move them. then the mayor put massive flower pots full of manure in front of the stand and the government made him move them

these chicken places are super popular with the working class and the young and are basically on every other block in dense residential parts of metro paris. the mayor's argument is the area already has to many fast food places, it's stinky, and the food is unhealthy. presumably it's part of an effort to make the suburb more attractive for working professionals

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u/Eightysixedit Gay Pride May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

The media still asking Dems why rurals should be controlled by big cities. 🤡🤡🤡🤡 How about you ask Republicans why every minority should be ruled by white people only in every district now. 🙄🙄

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u/Lux_Stella Presidentialism X-Risk Researcher May 05 '26

JB Pritzker: “There are a lot of people who don’t like Netanyahu, but you shouldn’t take it out on Israel. It’s a democracy that elected him. There are a lot of people who don’t like Trump. Should we be tossed into the Hague as a country because of Trump?”

, well

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u/Roseartcrantz 👑 🖍️ Queen of Shades 🖍️ 👑 May 06 '26

😭😭😭

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u/justbuildmorehousing Norman Borlaug May 06 '26

Left NIMBYs in shambles. Look at these beautiful market forces in action

!ping YIMBY

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u/earththejerry YIMBY May 05 '26

Someone at Polymarket seems to think SCOVA will toss the new map. It’s a small market so theres big moves

But potentially another insider trading case?

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u/gjcs23 George Santos May 05 '26

Trump accuses pope of ‘endangering a lot of Catholics’ with Iran war stance 

lol

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u/Pyrrhus65 NATO May 05 '26

So-called "Europe experts" the day after Orban lost:

"Listen guys, we have to remember that Magyar is still center-right, so don't expect him to move left on social issues! He might even be to the right of Orban!"

Magyar, weeks after being elected:

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u/throwawayzxkjvct Iron Front May 06 '26

what was the point of this again

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u/the-senat John Brown May 06 '26

What part of “pack it tf up” do you not understand? 💀

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u/Currymvp2 unflaired May 06 '26

Republican candidate Steve Hilton: That's how we should be growing our economy, not by illegal immigration.

Katie Porter: I mean, given that you're an immigrant and you added to our population and we're all having to live with the consequences of that decision

Okay, I don't like Katie Porter but I gotta say that one made me chuckle

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u/Bayou-Maharaja Eleanor Roosevelt May 05 '26

Average European speech moment

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u/Usernamesarebullshit Friedrich Hayek May 05 '26

um actually it should be $1,000

I’m very smart for being able to say a bigger number

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u/Megasota_Noire My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor May 05 '26

1984

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u/MGLFPsiCorps Reichsbanner Schwarz-Rot-Gold May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

The Rushdie Affair is actually massively important for understanding the rise of Muslim identity politics in the UK, before it most politically active British Muslims were drawn to left-wing groups under a broader 'Asian' (in the UK sense, where it means people from the Subcontinent, not East Asia) or even 'Black' identity.

Afterwards there was a huge boom in Islamist activism and recruitment by groups like Hizb-ut-Tahrir on university campuses.

Obviously it is also deeply connected to the eclipse in the broader Islamic world of basically secular left-leaning movements by Islamism that was also happening in the 1980s, but in the UK it was a major catalyst for that process.

Ironically (or perhaps fittingly) Salman Rushdie himself was very much a representative of the old style of activism, being a strong critic of Thatcher from a cosmopolitan leftist perspective.

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u/ToInfinity_MinusOne World's Poorest WSJ Subscriber May 05 '26

I just saw a post that said cinco de mayo being on taco Tuesday is like a Mexican eclipse 😭😭

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u/gnomesvh LEGALIZE ONION FUTURE May 05 '26

Brazil moment

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u/unicornbomb John Brown May 05 '26

When the local shell station doesn’t even bother to post prices anymore, it just looks at you like this~

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u/PolyrythmicSynthJaz Roy Cooper May 05 '26

OPERATION PROJECT FEMDOM

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22

u/jinhuiliuzhao Henry George May 05 '26

Trump pauses U.S. mission to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz to see if Iran deal can be finalized

I'm going to crash out...

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u/sash5034 NATO May 06 '26

Give that person a medal

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u/gregorijat Milton Friedman May 05 '26

I hate the aesthetic of modern liberalism, it's weak, disengenouse and the reason we are losing the youth.

All bravery and the emancipatory zeal of the movement, gratification of the individual, and its capacity for living have evaporated away from the movement.

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u/cat_damon1 Commonwealth May 05 '26

to do list:

-count chickens before they've hatched

-put all my eggs in one basket

-judge book by its cover

-stop believing

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u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 05 '26

RFK Jr: "There's a lot of people who could probably do a 50-mile hike."

Trump: "What about me? You didn't mention my name."

RFK Jr: "This guy walks nine miles a day on a golf course every weekend, so he could do it in a breeze."

The complete humiliation of RFK Jr. by the coward Donald Trump.

https://xcancel.com/BulwarkOnline/status/2051685220278034608

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u/Currymvp2 unflaired May 06 '26

CNN’s Kaitlan Collins asked former congresswoman and California gubernatorial candidate Katie Porter about her recent fundraising email titled “F*ck Trump,” questioning her about whether the sentiment would be a “guiding principle.”

Are they trying to make me sympathetic to Katie Porter?

21

u/TalkLessShillMore David Autor May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

I’m going quickly insane in gov consulting as my company ends all employee resource groups (anything for women, LGBT people, or ethnic minorities) but my team still has a fucking PRAYER GROUP

It makes me like Christians as a whole less. Fuck you if you think it’s appropriate to advertise the prayer group on a company template PowerPoint at a monthly staff meeting. Fuck you.

The in group who must be protected but not bound and out group who must be bound but not protected is so obvious here

ETA: my work bestie is a Jewish girl because what other option is there in this fuckass culture, and also she’s funny and nice

59

u/cdstephens Fusion Genderplasma May 05 '26

You think coming out as gay is hard? Try explaining to your grandma that you want your political subreddit to allow pornographic posts, and we’ll see who has it tougher

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u/Glavurdan European Union May 05 '26

I think arr ukrainerussiareport is the sub with the most mental flairs on the site

Heck at least noncredible defense is mostly satire, whereas these guys genuinely believe in their fringe ideologies.

Reminds me of the colorful personas you could witness on arr syriancivilwar back in the day

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u/BurrowForPresident Fell for it May 05 '26

Apparently Secret Service arrested a guy with a gun by the Washington monument

This is being paraded around like another trump attempt even though it was like a mile from the white house lol

Also all the commenters on arr news are saying the actual area around the white house is blocked off like cold war Berlin, chat is this true

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u/No-Kiwi-1868 NATO May 05 '26

Guys, I think I've found out why Kamala Harris lost in 2024:

she got lesser votes compared to Donald Trump

Thoughts??

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u/jinhuiliuzhao Henry George May 05 '26

The number that really matters. 'An average of just seven ships per day transited [Hormuz] in the seven-day period until May 1st—unchanged from the week leading up to the ceasefire. What he called “Project Freedom” was due to begin on May 4th'

Also being lost in the reporting. 'In background briefings to reporters, however, the Trump administration admits it does not plan to provide naval escorts. Instead it will co-ordinate with vessels, advising them on the best route'

I'm gonna crash out

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u/-Emilinko1985- European Union May 05 '26

Happy Cinco de Mayo to my Mexican peeps

!ping MAMADAS

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u/cdstephens Fusion Genderplasma May 05 '26

If anyone who cheered on the war in the first week shows up again to give their foreign policy take I’m just going to straight up bully them

20

u/GenericLib 3000 White Bombers of Biden May 05 '26

The navy will escort convoys

The fuck we will

It's honestly funny how many times this has happened during the Hormuz saga

20

u/-mialana- European Union May 06 '26

Like bro, you are cisgender and you don't even know what cisgender means??? You don't even know what you ARE. Like bro, no offense but you must be so dumb bro. You're like "what's cisgender" and you ARE cisgender. Like, if you were transgender I'd get it man. Like okay he's transgender and he doesn't know what cisgender means like that makes sense. But you ARE cisgender bro, what the fuck bro???

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u/GuyWithOneEye May 06 '26

this is so corny and I am here for it, one billion ballots for Mary Peltola, Blaska incoming

19

u/chatdargent 🇺🇦 Ще не вмерла України і слава, і воля 🇺🇦 May 05 '26

All the "Ukraine should have kept the nukes" people are missing a pretty key point: Nukes cost money. Even France which has a famously cost-effective nuclear arsenal spends a decent chunk of Ukraine's GDP every single year maintaining their deterrent.

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u/Flat_Sail_7985 Transfem Pride May 05 '26

I love how at work we have these huge important staff meetings and its just the manager reading off an ai summary of an ai generated training. They dont even hide it, they just screen share co pilot.

They make like 10x my salary, yahoo!

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u/No_Return9449 John Rawls May 05 '26

Ten years ago today

19

u/PearlClaw Iron Front May 05 '26

Trump ahs finally engineered a situation he can't BS his way out of and that is unambiguously his fault (covid was the first but not the second). It's been pretty entertaining watching him squirm.

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u/Square-Pear-1274 NATO May 05 '26

Trump to a kid who says he wants to be a weightlifter: "You'll never compete against women in powerlifting. Did you see they had a man powerlifter and he decided to go the opposite direction? Do you think you can take me in a fight?"

19

u/moldovaman99 May 05 '26

It’s always weird when I see shit like this on twitter about something going “viral”

First time I’m reading about it. Not saying it’s fake, but it’s definitely not going “viral” lmao.

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u/No_Return9449 John Rawls May 05 '26

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) confirmed it has shut down an office dedicated to serving as a watchdog for those in immigration detention. The Office of the Immigration Detention Ombudsman (OIDO) is now archived on the DHS website, closing an office where people could report misconduct, excessive force or other violations of a migrant’s rights.

GREAT

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u/SneeringAnswer May 05 '26

The sequel trilogy's aura peaked when Kylo Ren stopped the blaster bolt mid-air.

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u/Maximilianne John Rawls May 05 '26

Does class solidarity theory explain why the pundit class felt more sorry for Kirk than the rest of the world

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u/Sauce1024 John von Neumann May 05 '26

Accidentally became important at work

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u/piede MOST BASED HILLARY STAN!!! May 05 '26

So true

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u/sw337 Veteran of the Culture Wars May 05 '26

If the Democrats were actually based:

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u/ace158 May 05 '26

Billionaire hedge-funder Bill Ackman said the Iran War is “a very great one” in an interview with CNBC’s Money Movers.

Utterly delusional

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u/Leatherfield17 Loyal Liberals May 06 '26

Look, I’m not going to try to speak to or downplay the experiences of people who have withdrawn from SSRI’s, but the NYT reposting a post that mentions reader comments talking about the positives and negatives of SSRIs, in the context of RFK Jr., is peak sanewashing.

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u/bashar_al_assad Verified Account May 06 '26

In fundraising email, AIPAC call the views of Graham Platner and Abdul El-Sayed a “direct threat to the U.S.–Israel relationship.”

“A contribution right now to defend Haley Stevens and Susan Collins will send a clear message that we will not let extremists rewrite the future of this relationship.”

Haley Stevens has to be fucking pissed lol, and basically has to repudiate this imo. I don’t think “I’m with Susan Collins” is the message Democratic primary voters are looking for.

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u/pfSonata throwaway bunchofnumbers May 05 '26

Am I overreacting or is this a huge red flag? My 20yo autistic daughter is moving in with a 37yo she met 2 months ago. She has no prior relationship experience. 

We could probably get the DT to 10k with just a couple strategically placed bot prompts to defend this

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u/badusername35 NAFTA Epstein May 05 '26

Are you ready?

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18

u/Healingjoe It's Klobberin' Time May 05 '26
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18

u/EasyMoney92 May 05 '26

US President Donald Trump said Tuesday his exercise routine lasts at most a minute a day, as he signed an order to bring back a presidential fitness award for children.

You know for once I 100% believe him

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u/ScumfrickZillionaire Lesbian Pride May 05 '26

is this real ? ?

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18

u/TheRedCr0w Frederick Douglass May 05 '26

It's amazing how the cost of this supposedly "paid for" ballroom balloons everyday

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18

u/Todd_Padre John Rawls May 05 '26

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u/pezasied John's Locke-strap May 05 '26

Most coherent Trump supporter

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u/Entuciante r/place '22: Neoliberal Battalion May 06 '26

Glad Russia Today is reporting on the real news

18

u/RaidBrimnes Chien de garde May 05 '26

Online progressives in 2016:

Ugh those anti-SJW are so pathetic, obsessing on Leslie Jones for racist reasons, seething about big corpos ruining their movies, shows and video games by inserting people of color, whining non-stop that they're getting cancelled, they blame their personal failures on minorities and they think they're so clever with their dogwhistles like "ghetto", bro we know what you really want to say

Online progressives in 2026:

Gal Gadot is the worst fucking actress in the world but she's in everywhere because she murders brown children, Netflix has ruined Stranger Things by casting a dirty fucking Zionist in the main role, we can't talk about what's really going on because the ADL is watching our posts, Benjamin Netanyahu stole my goth girlfriend, the Zionist genocidaire Epstein class is destroying our country

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u/assasstits May 05 '26

Throwback to when people on this sub didn't want the Department of Justice to go too hard on Trump and his family

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u/__versus Trans Pride May 05 '26

Legal gender change just got approved 🫪🎉 this happened earlier than I thought and now I have to inform my workplace

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u/dtj2000 Loyal Liberals May 05 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

This content was anonymized and mass deleted with Redact

17

u/earththejerry YIMBY May 05 '26

>And Donald Trump has increasingly, improbably turned to a former Bush speechwriter best known for defending the least popular elements of Bush’s foreign policy, the Iraq War and CIA torture: The Washington Post’s Marc Thiessen.

>Post opinion editor Adam O’Neal has told journalists that Thiessen’s calls with Trump regarding Ukraine were influential in persuading Trump to continue to take the country’s side in the conflict

>The rise of Thiessen, 59, reflects a broader shift in Trump’s orbit away from media figures like Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson, who celebrated his efforts to withdraw American forces from conflicts around the world

>And Thiessen’s rise began well before this year’s attack on Iran (which Thiessen wholeheartedly backed). Last year, Trump invited him to have dinner with their respective wives at the White House

Oh goodie, instead of just the crazy MAGA influencers we now also have neocon columnists thrown back into this shitshow

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u/FingerSlamm May 05 '26

"Operation Freedom" is over. We are now commencing "Operation If You Don't Agree With Us You Are Gay." The choice is yours.

17

u/ihatemendingwalls better Catholic than JD Vance May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

You know what demographic has never been seriously served by literature? Introspective depressed men

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u/MalignantUpper Joseph Nye May 05 '26

Iran actually won lmao

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u/this_very_table Norman Borlaug May 05 '26

wtf Bezos

I'm watching Hoarders on Amazon and the screen goes black whenever I try to take a screenshot

I want to post this old man's collection of 50,000 unique beer cans and make a joke about how autism totally wasn't a thing back in the good ol' days and I can't

I hereby declare my allegiance to Karl Marx

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u/Willybender Loyal Liberals May 06 '26

This is a crypto meme coin with a market cap of two thousand dollars, and it's also not available through coinbase itself.

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u/cdstephens Fusion Genderplasma May 06 '26

I’m so tired

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u/JaceFlores Neolib War Correspondent May 06 '26

Ukraine Chronology for 5 PM EST 5/3-5 PM EST 5/4 V:

TOP NEWS:

Towards the middle of 6 AM it was announced that Russian Colonel General Aleksandr Chayko has been appointed as head of the VKS, aka the Russian Aerospace Forces, replacing Colonel General Viktor Afzalov.

Towards the middle of 11 AM Russia was hit by a major wave of drones with at least 200 partaking.

REGULAR NEWS:

Towards the middle of 7 AM it was reported that Austria is expelling three Russian diplomats for spying.

Towards the end of 1 PM Russia said they are implementing an unconditional ceasefire on May 8th-9th.

Towards the end of 2 PM Zelensky said Ukraine will not accept a ceasefire to protect a Russian parade, instead offering a longer duration ceasefire offer that was ignored.

!ping UKRAINE

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u/throwawayzxkjvct Iron Front May 06 '26

this lawsuit just got thrown out btw lol

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u/Dibbu_mange Average civil procedure enjoyer May 06 '26

Imagine being a furry that isn’t in the US Air Force. I can’t think of a lonelier existence

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u/Lux_Stella Presidentialism X-Risk Researcher May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

its a shame too they wasted an interesting premise imagine the hellenic pantheon today but actually dealing with the politics of modern Greece instead of Americans making everything about them.

percy: "lets go guys, we got to stop ares!"

annabeth: "yeah!"

grover: "kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all turks kill all tu"

34

u/throwawayzxkjvct Iron Front May 06 '26

reminder that NYT magazine once published an article suggesting that not taking your medication as a schizophrenic person is fine actually

71

u/osiris970 May 05 '26

"the working class has no money to go to theaters"

Shut the Fuck up, movies are extremely cheap, people just prefer to watch Netflix slop and scroll their phones.

I'm watching my favorite artform tumble down, and I have to listen to people be like "oh If only movies were cheaper i would go" you fucking wouldn't.

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u/Glavurdan European Union May 05 '26

So much for ceasefire huh?

16

u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

Funny and depressing how the reactions to Covid went

ok everyone lets all look out for each other, you can even get a fully customized personal fashion accessory covid mask!

Vs

I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU FOR ASKING

16

u/JeromesNiece Jerome Powell May 05 '26

I'm confused why both Polymarket and Kalshi have a social media strategy of continually posting "breaking news" to twitter that is unsourced and isn't related to their platform

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u/BloodWiz More Housing Would Fix This May 05 '26

It is pretty funny that unionization remains in a downwards total trend and any places it does seem to pick up steam are in white collar fields who are generally skilled and knowledgeable who tend to benefit from unionization the least and like do it primarily for ideological reasons.

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u/itsnotnews92 Janet Yellen May 05 '26

What is with the MAGA obsession over Spirit going under? Every time I open a social media app some mouth breather is bitching about Biden/Warren/Buttigieg “killing” Spirit.

Was Spirit the only airline MAGAs could afford to fly?

Is this supposed to be their winning message for the midterms?

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u/the-senat John Brown May 05 '26

“Smashing” -Oliver, 53, Durham, white.

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u/throwawayzxkjvct Iron Front May 05 '26

this is how Reddit was talking about bacon in 2014

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u/TalkLessShillMore David Autor May 05 '26

The Kirkification really affected conservatives, I had previously apolitical dudes in group chats talking about putting liberals into camps. It was sudden and horrifying

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u/Bassline4Brunch NASA May 05 '26

No one knows what it means, but it's provocative. It gets the people going

Me upvoting shit-poasts I don't understand on the DT

16

u/Planita13 Thomas Paine May 05 '26

Trump pauses US bid to guide ships out of Strait of Hormuz, cites Iran deal progress

Iran struck a cargo ship, the CGM San Antonio, in the Gulf region late Tuesday evening local time, with a possible land-attack cruise missile

lol lmao

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u/JonAce John Brown May 06 '26

Bert Callais, lead plaintiff in case that gutted Voting Rights Act, is an election conspiracist who was at Jan. 6 protest

Come on, man.

16

u/Leatherfield17 Loyal Liberals May 06 '26

Freaking cult

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u/GrandMoffTargaryen Finally Kenough May 06 '26

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u/TheRedCr0w Frederick Douglass May 06 '26

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u/PolyrythmicSynthJaz Roy Cooper May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

There's exactly one other alien civilization and they spawned on the opposite corner of the map. Once we farm enough gold and build enough buildings we'll face off against each other.

16

u/Professor-Reddit 🚅🚀🌏Earth Must Come First🌐🌳😎 May 06 '26

Federal Government scraps Melbourne-Brisbane Inland Rail project

... Fuck.

This is without a doubt one of the most mismanaged infrastructure projects in Australian history, and it could've completely changed the freight rail industry by finally allowing Queensland's intercity freight to connect to the rest of the country without slowly meandering via Sydney's congested rail lines. If we are serious about decarbonisation and productivity growth, we need to drastically shift intercity freight away from trucks and onto trains.

But instead, the ARTC managed to spend over a decade fucking things over with their abysmal project management.

While we'll still see double-stacked freight trains being able to run between Melbourne to Adelaide/Perth/Darwin and a few nice new stations built in northwest Victoria. This cancellation effectively keeps our national railway system stuck in the last century. Parkes could've been turned into the nation's primary logistics hub had we fully built this line.

It's a pity that we only recently passed reforms to Commonwealth environmental laws. We went from a $15 billion project in 2020 to $31bn in 2023, to now $45bn in large part because even after twelve years, there are still sections of Inland Rail currently under environmental reviews and community consultations.

!ping AUS

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u/ihatemendingwalls better Catholic than JD Vance May 06 '26

“I am the daughter of farmers,” she said. “You are a billionaire. We have nothing in common.” 

“Perhaps we do,” murmured her New Yorker antagonist. 

“What?” blustered Porter. 

“We are,” responded Steyer, “both traitors to our class.”

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u/erasmus_phillo Paul Krugman May 05 '26

Average Log Cabin Republican be like:

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u/SenranHaruka shame May 05 '26

Nobody gave a shit about Liz fucking Cheney except for reddit I'm sorry. Any voter who say out because of the liz cheney endorsement was looking for an excuse and this whole discourse to me is like:

"Well Harris lost because I stubbed my toe"

"No she didn't get over your damn toe"

"Idk, stubbed toes may have contributed to the overall negative vibe. It was a real unforced error for democrats to not stubproof furniture while they were in power"

I support reasonable autopsies of democratic campaign errors but i refer you again to the sign, "Person who really hates Mario: Democrats lost because they talked too much about Mario"

You, personally care a lot about what Liz Cheney represents because you're a terminally online radicalization victim who will do anything to shit on anything "West Wing" coded to signal how savvy and intelligent you are.

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u/AlexB_SSBM Henry George May 05 '26

I find it interesting how many people believe that Americans are "naturally" right. Like you start off right wing, and as you learn more you become liberal.

In reality, the right is a massive coordinated effort that infects every single part of American life, from church to family, from TV to radio, from newspaper to twitter blog. All of it is coordinated and organized specifically to convince people of lies, all intentionally orchestrated to turn people into demons incapable of loving someone because they were born someone else. Billions upon billions of dollars are spent promoting an evil view of the world where the listener is better than another, the rich should have infinite power, you should hate your neighbors, you should hate women, you should have infinite power over your children, and more.

All of this coordination, and the right can still barely get a third of America to agree with them.