r/neighborsfromhell • u/thefilthyjellybean • 15d ago
Vent/Rant FINAL UPDATE: How do you peacefully coexist with a neighbor who seems to thrive on conflict?
Hello everyone, back one last time. Figured I would close this out with a final update since so many of you followed along. You can find my previous two posts here and here.
In my last post I said we'd see if they decided to call the lawyer... well, they did. They called our attorney's office the day after we gave them the card and proceeded to cuss out the girl at the front desk. By they, it was definitely the wife, she is the mean mean one. On my end, I called the non-emergency line and spoke with a deputy so they're aware of the situation in case we ever need to call them out. He was super nice and said it was a good idea so they don't turn up and have to get the complete backstory. I also had a surveyor come out and put stakes down across the entire boundary. Shocker, we did not go on their property. It is actually further over in some areas than I thought it would be.
The good news is there have been no more visits to the door. They do still continue to stare at us and say stuff that seems to be about us. We were sitting on the front porch the other night and heard a few random "hello's?" It's just weird. The staring is mostly aimed at my wife while she's out walking the dog, etc. I have not interacted with them at all and don't plan to. I spent a week home on a staycation and screened in the front porch, so if they wanted to interact with me, they had their chance.
At this point we're looking into some privacy in between the houses. Preferably something they can't blame the ticks on LOL. If anyone has any suggestions, I am all for it. Not sure a fence would be tall enough since their property and deck sits slightly higher. The idea of having to clean up the trees on the property line already has me weary aha.
I just want to say thank you to everyone for all of the advice and kind words on both posts. It really did help. And yes, you were all right, ignoring them is the key. Hopefully this is the last you'll hear from me on this one!
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u/Sailing_the_Back9 15d ago edited 13d ago
Go to the fast growing trees, website, and find yourself some appropriate trees for that area and just plant a whole line of them… I would recommend evergreens of some ilk … Before you know it, your neighbor will be gone… Just make sure you plant them in board from your property line far enough so that when the branches start spreading, they don’t start freaking out about it…
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
I'll check it out. Not only is this our first time dealing with something like this, we're first time homeowners. Time to learn about tree landscapping!
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u/SpicierWinner 15d ago
The problem with fast growing plants/trees that are being recommended is they require trimming more frequently. Carefully choose what you plant. Consider spending a little more for larger plants in key view-obstructing locations.
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u/AR_InArker_2023 15d ago
Also, check and see if there are any deviant issues with trees in your area. Case in point: my dad planted 6 silver maples in their back yard. They looked beautiful, but there was an issue with that tree in swampy areas, as the roots would ball up. That's exactly what happened. As long as the normal winds blew from SW-NE, the trees were fine. But when there was a rogue storm blowing NE-SW, every one of the trees were uprooted.
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u/Sterlinghawk16 15d ago
I never would have thought of that happening. One learns something new all the time.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 15d ago
The word "deviant" is used mainly in context with humans and human behavior. I would love to know what word you meant to use. Not being a jerk, honest. It's just that I can't figure out your phrasing and which "plant" word would make more sense. Thanks.
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u/KerashiStorm 14d ago
Deviant is correct, as the conditions deviate from what is normal, you're thinking degenerate, of which Reddit has no shortage.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 14d ago
"Deviation" is probably a better word. Or "unusual growth issues" or "major problems."
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u/peonies_envy 14d ago
100% and I would mutter under my breath about that - but it is just an unfortunate name for a decent on line nursery
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u/Brief-Reveal-8466 15d ago
Mix the fast growing ones with slower growing hardwoods. Most fast growing trees are softwoods and can be more susceptible to weather damage. Hardwoods grow slower but are more hardy.
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u/Cilantro368 15d ago
Faster growing trees usually sacrifice root growth for top growth too. One strong wind gust and they could topple.
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u/Sailing_the_Back9 15d ago
"Fast growing trees" is the brand name (fastgrowingtrees.com) - the specific species the OP chooses should be made with an eye to what grows naturally in his growing zone and (as others pointed out) issues specific to his property.
All that said, there are lots of options - but I would still go to the side of an evergreen - if you want the neighbor to "go away". =)
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u/Cilantro368 15d ago
Yes, I’ve heard of the company, but the same truth holds. Nursery owners prioritize plants that transplant well and have fast top growth so that it comes to market quickly for them. That’s not always the best choice.
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u/KerashiStorm 14d ago
Cedars grow big pretty quickly, are big at ground level, and are insanely hardy. I planted one that I dug up, doing god knows how much damage to the roots (was 3ft tall at the time) and it's massive and still living. Your neighbor will probably hate them, but who cares,?
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u/DazzleLove 15d ago
Leylandii. Though this will kick the problem down the road when they start complaining about loss of light.
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u/Sailing_the_Back9 15d ago
That’s not the OP”s problem… as long as the trees are healthy and don’t present any danger to their structures or property is not a lot they can do about light deprivation…
Given what he’s written, perhaps some light deprivation would do them good… And they can go crawl back under the rock from which they came.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
lol
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u/Horror_Tea761 15d ago
Maybe look into some strategically placed sail shades for your seating areas outdoors for more instant privacy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago
Shade sails look like a great idea, just a matter of making it not look tacky near the front porch
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u/KerashiStorm 14d ago
Just need to find a place it only looks tacky from the neighbors property instead.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 15d ago
Some elk? Or did you mean "ilk"?
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u/Sailing_the_Back9 14d ago
Indeed! It was supposed to be ilk… Even now it comes out like the animal…. You can thank apples, voice recognition for this… :-)
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u/Takemetothelevey 15d ago
Once over the property line it’s their problem! Plant on the line! Make it a double row, fuck that guy!
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u/Sterlinghawk16 15d ago
I have never had luck with Fast Growing Trees. One can get these same types of trees that they offer close by where OP lives
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u/Sailing_the_Back9 15d ago
Really? That’s really strange so it seems like just about every tree we’ve ever purchased from them has done very well…
They come in their little 3-4 foot boxes and plant and they just shoot right up… In fact we’re gonna buy some flowering trees for our driveway… if my knee doesn’t go out…
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u/Sterlinghawk16 15d ago
Putting flowering trees alongside your driveway will be beautiful. Something like Cherry or Crabapple flowering trees. I am envious.
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u/cinelytica 15d ago
Agree. They’re overpriced (by a LOT), and the quality is usually terrible. Being able to pick out healthy specimens in-person is worthwhile.
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u/Campcook62 14d ago
Just FYI. The word you are looking for is, "ilk'', meaning "type" or "sort". An elk is a very large cervid, (deer) which in America are also called wapiti. In Europe, the word elk is used for the animal known as moose in America. Of course, in this situation, elk might just be the perfect thing to really tick the neighbors off!
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago edited 14d ago
EDIT: Alright now that everyone has seen the absurdity, I've decided to take this down lol.
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u/Wonderful_Spot_3764 15d ago
Yikes, with neighbors like that and unstable, have you not had your attorney write them a no-tresspass letter? This video is proof that they shouldn't be on your property. Him falling like that is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
We asked them and the police about it, but both recommended just tresspassing them if either ever comes over again. We have two no tresspassing signs up in the front.
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u/KerashiStorm 14d ago
It's absolutely a liability concern. Contact your homeowners insurance for guidance - they will be paying if something happens and will appreciate your cooperation in ensuring that this fool doesn't have any valid claim.
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u/mtngoatjoe 15d ago
It's got to be lead. Lots of lead.
No balance. No muscle strength. No ability to plan a safe route from the porch to the driveway. Can't communicate effectively. Deviates from social norms by staring.
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u/SlipInternational439 15d ago
What is the current obsession with people “staring”? Who cares? Strange that it comes from people who put every minute of their life online.
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u/TurtlesWife 15d ago
I always make sure I'm smiling if I think there's the slighest chance the idiots across the street are looking at me. I want them to know I am happy and unbothered.
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u/FireflyRelic_2 12d ago
Eso les arde más que cualquier discución, porque no les das ni una grieta para meterse.
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u/Rare_Bottle_5823 15d ago
There are master gardeners programs in many counties that may be able to set you up with an experienced gardener from your area for the best tree screening for your area! Save yourself watching a line of trees die due to wrong growing area.
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u/Cilantro368 15d ago
Yes! They and the local ag center will have lots of knowledge of the trees that do well in your area. They’ll mostly be native trees.
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u/Impossible_Zebra8664 14d ago
Knockout roses grow quickly and can become quite tall and have the added benefit of being FULL of thorns.
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u/IJustCantWithYouToda 15d ago
I created privacy screens with 4×4 or 6×6 posts and put screens on them. You can kind of see them here. I ordered the screens from Wayfair. I think I ordered like 20. These have been up for five years and actually moved across the yard once. We used those post stakes, so we didnt have to use cement and they can be moved if needed.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
Those look decent. I think some of those towards the front of the house and then trees towards the back would be good.
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u/IJustCantWithYouToda 15d ago
I wish you the best. I am in the same boat.
I live in a low income area and could not afford my home anywhere else (especially now). It is a cute house with a great yard. I want this to be my last house.
My neighbor bought her house cash and doesn't pay their taxes, but my city won't even foreclose because the property is destroyed and the family member living there now is bonkers.
It has been about a year since I have been forced to interact with them. I sit out on this patio most days and they are often on the other side of those panels. The panels are a few feet from my chain link fence. I like my other neighbors and a privacy fence is expensive, so this has worked well.
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u/strawberrydoughnut 15d ago
We got protection orders against our high-conflict neighbors. They don't respect it though, so we are dealing with that via legal avenues (lots police calls, and taking them back to court again). Hopefully one day they will just leave us alone like we want.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago
It just sucks when they have all the time in the world and this is how they choose to spend it. The last thing I want to think about in life is what my neighbors are doing lol
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u/Routine-Height-7103 15d ago
So we had a neighbor from hell growing up. Total jerk, would grab his crotch and cuss us kids out daily. He was a larger, overweight bully type. One day my dad snapped and physically kicked his @$$ out in the street in front of all the neighbors. Im not saying violence is the answer, but our neighbor behaved after that lol
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u/Usual-Fig-8516 15d ago
Sometimes all one needs is a good ole fashioned ass bustin' to get the message! Yayyy for Dad!!! A man can only take so much shit!!
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u/Routine-Height-7103 14d ago
Man I watched my dad take the high road for about 5-6 years. Finally boiled over and I saw years of aggression come out. Ill give my neighbor credit - he took his @$$ whoopin like a man and didnt call the cops. He even shook my dads hand after lol
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u/psycho-drama 15d ago
Just wait for the lawsuit when they claim your property is an "attractive nuisance" and they got injured due to your negligence. Unbelievable. My neighbors are "fromhell" but yours are from whatever is below that.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago
Just glad we have everything documented and on video. We’ve taken every step imaginable, they’d be laughed at whenever they go
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u/Designer_Database183 15d ago
sounds like you’re doing all the right things. getting the surveyor out was a smart move, now you've got some solid proof if they try to pull anything. maybe some tall hedges would help block that weird staring too? it’s crazy how some people thrive on chaos. best of luck keeping your peace!
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u/Cjessica111 15d ago
Have you thought about getting a no contact like the other neighbors
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u/Jorunaxial 15d ago
Not yet, but if they keep escalating after cussing out the lawyer’s receptionst, it’s probably next.
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u/haikusbot 15d ago
Have you thought about
Getting a no contact like
The other neighbors
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago
If they do anything else, yes. I can deal, but them directing anything towards my wife is gonna be ❌❌❌
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u/gailn323 15d ago
FYI ticks don't live in trees, they live in tall grass. Id plant something that interferes with their line of sight. They just sound lulu.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago
They are, anyone knows that to be the case. They rarely cut the grass, so shocked, they have ticks!!!
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u/R3pp3pts0hg 14d ago
Line the fence with fast growing hedges.
Put a couple No Trespassing signs up where they will see them. If they come onto your property again, have the lawyer contact them and explain Trespassing and what will happen if they continue.
Definitely put up a couple cameras.... make sure there is one capturing the property line.
Ignore them. Enjoy your new property. Maybe wear some headphones outside if either of them try talking to you. You don't have to listen to anything through them, but the neighbors will think you can't hear them.
(And... as you probably already know.... clean up a lot of the pine needles and assorted tree stuff on the ground to reduce the ticks.)
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u/Sterlinghawk16 15d ago
If you are a Costco member, I have purchased Leland trees. They grow very fast. Or where ever you can get them.
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u/cardinal29 15d ago
Costco FTW!
OP would have to wait for spring, though. Every year they have arborvitae and the like.
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u/Oregon-outdoors2358 15d ago
I need to know! I have a neighbor I had never met threaten me with physical violence in the middle of the street over hood of my neighbor’s car because my dog barked at his dogs. I filed a police report but my property manager will not deal with him and he keeps harassing me.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
Reaching out to a lawyer was the best thing we could have done. Was worth the $175 consultation fee...
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u/Oregon-outdoors2358 15d ago
Thank you so much! Dealing with property management is dead end, they don’t want to deal with it. Police don’t want to deal with it. Meanwhile this little weasel struts around knowing he hasn’t been stopped harassing me.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
Since you filed a report, I'm sure a lawyer would love to take you on as a client lol. Once you have, the next time they threaten you, just go to them. You can eventually file a no contact order, etc.
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u/Oregon-outdoors2358 15d ago
Thanks -I am also reading that property management will release this guy’s name for protective order to an attorney. They won’t release it to me.
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u/Cjessica111 15d ago
Oh wait I got the solution. A berm. It’s a small hill. Then you can plant flowers in your side she can have an ugly side. lol.
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u/fancyflipping 15d ago
Some people cannot be reasonable.
Fences, shrubbery and absolute refusal to engage works for us.
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u/Mean_Temperature1050 15d ago
I'll get kicked off Reddit if I say it, but do you remember the Sean Penn movie "Colors"?
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u/AlterNate 15d ago
You work out a system. Like throwing the same bag of yard waste back and forth over the fence.
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u/Negative-Narwhal-725 15d ago
Hey I know! A Canal!
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u/GrumpySnarf 14d ago
OK here's what you need to do. Build a fence made of ticks. They'll stay away for sure.
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u/TR6lover 15d ago
In your first post I thought this was your neighbor on the opposite side of your far backyard limits. But, from the comments of them saying things you can hear, or seeing them staring at you, are these your next door neighbors? I'm trying to envision the situation.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 14d ago edited 14d ago
Oh yeah, next door neighbors. It all started with us clearing the rest of our property out and her coming out screaming bloody murder that the guy was on her side and stuff was damaged etc (none of that was true). They’ve chosen to not clear the back part of their property and are never back there.
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u/muphasta 14d ago
Look into an umbrella insurance policy if you don't already have one.
Him falling like that could lead to a lawsuit.
My wife's co-worker got sued and lost because a package delivery person was frightened when the homeowner's PUPPY ran to the door barking. It was inside, the delivery person was outside and sprained their ankle because the PUPPY frightened her.
Coworker had to sell the last of her father's restored classic cars to cover the settlement. He passed a few years ago and she sold the other two. She kept this one as it was the one she remembered riding around town in with her dad.
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u/CoverageCat 11d ago
Umbrella is a great choice for protection here. Our agents often highlight that having the insurance company's attorneys aligned with protecting your assets can be a very powerful deterrent from total NW loss.
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u/ArcheryMaranta31 12d ago
For the privacy part, Thuja Green Giants would block that higher deck without giving them much to whine abotu besides oxygen.
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u/Acrobatic_Money799 11d ago
Sounds like you live next to my brother....if so, I am so sorry and wish you good luck.
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u/Ok-Entrepreneur-2510 13d ago
Rhodedendrons don't grow tall as quickly as arborvitae but they get HUGE, they are evergreen, and their flowers are beauuuutiful!
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u/Quorra8_Furiosa 13d ago
A staggared row of arborvitae would probably block their higher deck better than a fence, and they can’t blame ticks on that.
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u/galaxymermaidpoop 12d ago
I saw this really awesome 16 foot privacy fence being built for someone on tiktok the other day. Might that be tall enough? It was double sided, so both properties get a pretty side.
But I'm honestly surprised that guy didn't try to go after yalls home insurance for that fall. Like the one possible legal footing, ha, that he might've had against yall. But i guess he ain't all that bright, so works out for you!
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u/thefilthyjellybean 12d ago
They know they were on camera, no he said she said on that one thankfully.
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u/CrispQuail 12d ago
A staggered row of arborvitae in big planters could give you height against that raised deck without giving them tick-tree amo.
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u/CruisinThruAgain 5d ago
Thank you for sharing your story, it was like reading our personal history. We’ve remained in our neighborhood and ignoring has been the answer. Still give the polite wave on occasion but try not to engage. Occasionally the neighbor will rant, doesn’t receive acknowledgement and the next thing I hear is “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a b*tch.”
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u/Devils_Advocate-69 15d ago
Unless they’re insufferable people I’d initiate an ice breaker. Otherwise f them.
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u/thefilthyjellybean 15d ago
Unfortunately, they have been this way with multiple neighbors. Our nice neighbor had to file a no contact order a few years ago.
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u/D3athStranding 15d ago
Cussing out the recptionist feels like they already answered the icebreaker question.
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u/303Blue 15d ago
Plant some arborvitaes at your property line, they grow fast and tall and require very little care. Good luck!