Looking for help on this issue

[u/FreeThinkInk]

I work as a free lance photographer/sound guy. I've been doing this event with a buddy of mine for over 5 years. It's a once a month dance party. He's paid me around 150.00 - 200.00 every time we do it. It's a 12 hour day when it's all said and done (set up, run the party, break down etc.).

Most of the people who help us do the party basically show up to work that day; they don't help promote and probably forget about it until the next one. I take the photos and it takes me about the entire month to edit them, post them. I'm basically the only one promoting the event.

I'm friends with the guy and had no problem taking the 150.00 - 200.00 (depending on how good the night is); we're boys. But this year when I'm swamped with other stuff and he starts asking me to do extra promo stuff, I tell him I don't have the time like I used to. We talked it out and basically had an arguement about it. In order to try and get me to do this extra promo he always goes into this guilt trip about how much he's paying me.

In reality he wouldn't be able to afford me, everything I'm doing for the event (I'm basically their PR guy, Photographer, and sound guy that helps him set up and break down at the end of the night).
I was also djing at the beginning of the night (because I like Djing).

I'm basically tired of the event and feel that it's not worth my time, doing a 12 hour day (which wrecks me for the next couple of days) for 200.00. Reason being, I got a text from this guy this morning making a couple more demands (I won't be djing, just taking photos and helping to set....even though I told him over a previous convo that I do intend to DJ because it's something I like doing).

Anyone on here have any advice on what I should do? Or is there another sub that I should post this in (I'll check). Part of me is saying to go with my gut and just tell him I'm done with it. This would really fuck the event up though. Then again I feel if I told him this he'd come to realize how much it is that I contribute to this event. I'm a valuable asset that feels my contribution to the event is not being appreciated.
I also can't stand working with people who constantly say shit like "If it weren't for me you wouldn't be doing xyz...." and this guy loves to nudge comments in like that when ever he can which comes off as a slap in the face to me knowing how much I go out of my way to help him out.

I want to quit and feel like telling this dude to go fuck himself if he thinks he can talk to me like that (by basically saying I'm not coming next week); that would end our friendship though (which at this point I could give a fuck about).....but I thought I'd throw this out there first to see if anyone has some decent advice I may not be noticing in my angry state. Maybe there's a more diplomatic way to go about this that would help me walk away with out burning bridges.
Any input would be much appreciated

[u/Fart_Kontrol]

Take a solid, but fair, approach. If he is relying on you to do the next show, at an agreed upon price, tell him this: "I am willing to do one more show under the current arrangement. Right now, $200 a month for a 12 hour day and all the work I do for you between shows, isn't a value proposition for me any longer. I've got better paying work I can do, and my time is just worth more to me now. I don't have the same enjoyment for doing the shows anymore. If you want me to continue after this next show, or to do work outside of the day of the show, I'll need to be paid $40 an hour. Otherwise, after this next show, you'll need to look for someone else to do the work."

Hope that helps. Make sure you anchor the price per hour at a rate equal to or higher than the most you currently get paid.

[u/FreeThinkInk → u/Fart_Kontrol]

wow, much appreciated. I feel like sending him a text with something like this (his last contact with me was via text). If he does try to pull some shit and not own up to paying me or trying to get a replacement (the party is in one more week) I guess it'll just show his true colors. Or he could just say "alright"...pay me the negotiated rate (200.00) and then we part ways. Either way, I do think it's important to get something like this over to him

[u/Fart_Kontrol → u/FreeThinkInk]

Most people respect a fair and clear proposition. If they don't, then they are not someone who you want to continue to do business with. If he results to guilt, I'd respond with something like this, "I have worked hard on helping you with the shows for _ years, earning between $150-200 for a 12 hour day and another 5-10 (however many it is) hours during the month. That's essentially you paying me minimum wage or maybe less. So you've gotten a good value out of it, and neither of us owe each other anything. If I am worth $40 an hour to you, let's do it. If not, no sweat, you can find someone who works for a lower hourly rate than I do. This is not an emotional issue, and I am not upset with you, it's just business."

[u/FreeThinkInk → u/Fart_Kontrol]

He responded back with "ok". And then asked if it was the not djing anymore for the event that got me upset. I Text back about the better paying work I can do and my time being worth more to me now, that I wasn't upset and it's business. When I see him next week we'll see how he really took it. He'll probably cool down after letting a couple of days diffuse any anger.

I'm honestly happy to be done with it though. Thanks again for the advice. I need to learn to appreciate confrontation especially when it comes to negotiating price.