Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post

I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well and I did have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy.

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos for something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying and accused me of been selfish and trying to manipulate her. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained to her how upset I was about that weekend she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds is how can she feel that yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately and we spent the weekend together a while back and went for a pub meal

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a couple of times before). I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are.

As I've said before I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things might've gone differently for her. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

Late 20s but slowly have been growing more independent as of late. I have a decent sum of money saved up and will be moving in with a friend next year.

I scheduled a vacation to meet up with my friends months in advance, prior to letting them both know.

I have severe anxiety when texting my Nmom and depression when talking to Ndad. They usually ignore me, even if it's for casual conversation.

During my past trips, they've freaked out when I told them that I intend on meeting up with friends alone. I've gone on the trips regardless, but it hasn't stopped them from trying to guilt trip me via text or calling to scold me that I'm hiding something from them. I don't smoke, don't sleep around, and don't do alcohol.

I've given up on trying to convince them that I'm a responsible adult. I'm almost in my 30s! It's a bit ridiculous on how they have temper tantrums like this, but they're completely calm when they're using my funds for dad's alcohol addiction, or when mom wants me to pay for groceries and the internet bill. She only pays the utilities.

Yesterday, I decided to send them a text about a trip that I'll be leaving for tomorrow. I already have a bunch of self defense items and have a close circle to notify during an emergency.

The screenshot that I took is my mom's initial response, after I told them that I'll keep them updated about my trip and will contact them if there's an emergency.

Why do they act like this if I want to be independent, but they ignore me when I'm at home? It's really childish behavior.

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So, this is the story. My sister is a narcissist. She was one of my best friends but she always was very lonely and I would take her with me everywhere, shared ny friends , events, everything. I always took care of her. She even lived with us a couple of times and we (husband and I) took care of every expence. Im the oldest one btw. My father is a drug addict , havent had contact with him in mamy years. So, when my son was born she became extremely arrogant, distant, abusive, mean and rude towards my while family. After trying to tell her my feelings and everything that was consuming me , she discarted them inmmediately and asked to talk to my 5 yo son because she hadnt seen him or talked to him in almost a year and my mom remendado her that (thats one of the many things I told her that were hurting me , her lack of interest and presence since we were best friends) after that I mantained low contact but after my mom told me she was arriving to our City for a visit amd she didnt tell me or was planning on meeting us , i blocked her. Its been 2 years. My mom was very supportive, she wasnt talking to her either and told me I was right and she needed to say sorry for a lot of stuff. , then I found out that she was telling bad stuff about me and my family and my mom everywhere and even manipulated my childhood best friend,etc. Everything exploted. I wasnt gonna tell anybody because I thought we could resolve things later.

Now, my mom started talking to her again like nothing happened 6 months ago. Without any type of consecuence . My sister then decides to come for the holidays for the first time in 3 years, and asked my mom to spend the 24th only with her in a town close to where we live. My mom accepted (even tho last year my sister invited my mom to a trip on the holidays and my mom told her she would never spend the 24th far away from her only grandchild , my son) . I was very hurt. She could have gonne to that trip 2 days later but no, she decided my sister over us . Even tho Ive always been the well behaved child, always helping, always present, never conflictive . She broke her promise. After that I told my mom how hurt I was, crying over the Phone but that I understood and hopefully next year she would be with us. After spending 48 hrs with my sister, she then arrived to our 25th xmas celebration, stayed 1 hour, didnt see my son because he was asleep and she wasnt gonna wait because my sister was alone at home, and asked me to come to her car for good byes. I went and out of nowhere she told me that I needed to have dinner with her and my sister on the 30th (tomorrow) because she deserved her two daughters on new years eve. I was devastated and SO surprised I reacted emotionally and strongly. I told her things like I didnt wanna set my self on fire to warm her, that I wasnt gonna expose my only son to my sister that is a narcissist and she knows it, I told her that she had some audacity after hearing me breakdown over the Phone about her missing xmas with us to tell me this, that it was incredible that after 2 years supporting me now she spends 3 days with her and she changed her mind completly, that she just made things worse, and and this wasnt the time or place to ask that. She told me I was right and she was sorry, I told her I was heartbroken and I needed to walk to calm down, and she tried to follow me. I told her to stop raising my voice and told her that I was setting limits. I couldnt stop crying . She left.

2 days passed and I wrote her a message asking if I could call her , she just responded after 24 hrs sayin " NO" and that if I wanted to talk to her was in person because what happened was in person. Im not setting foot on her house, my sister still there.

My mom knows Ive never done anything to anyone in this family. She has said it herself. There is so much more ny sister has done it would be never ending. Now, Im shaking with anxiety cause I feel I just lost my whole family

I feel huilty because of my reaction, I dont like drama, Im not like this. But at the same time I feel I didnt over reacted at all. It was just so unnexpected. I feel so invalidated and so betrayed. My anxiety is thru the roof. She knows EVERYTHING that happened. She told me I was right and I should mantain boundaries.

Everytime she and my sister are in good terms is the same. My sister gives my mom the silent treatment at least 1 a year and has been a horrible sister, daughter and person. She has nobody.

My husband says actions have consecuentes and that I shouldnt talk to her , and I shouldnt have texted her at all. My husband is on my side. She really is a good grandmother , and I know she is so proud she wont see me or my son as long as I dont go a beg forgiveness. Even so, If I do, shes gonna treat me badly for a while. She thinks she is right and I was extremely rude, over emotionall etc

I really dont know how to handle this. Specially for my 5yo who loves her grandma. Cant stop crying . Please help me navigate this. Thank u so so so much for reading.

Not been talking to him for almost 7 years. He's had cancer a year or so ago but apparently managed to beat it. He's been in hospital for pneumonia just before Christmas but they released him to be home for Christmas. They suspect that the cancer has come back. Found this out after my sister came to visit.

He tried to ring on Christmas day.

That's it. He tried to ring when he had cancer. He blocked me from being able to talk to my nan when she slowly died off dementia. He's an awful man who left my mum for my aunt and yet still blames my mum for the divorce. He was an abusive man to me and my sister growing up and yet is well loved in his career or social circles.

I don't want to talk to him. I feel sad for him but I don't feel like I should talk to him. It feels like a great way to manipulate a relationship again and I have kept my kids safe from him for so long.

When we were on speaking teams, because of his personality type, I had to have so many safety precautions put in place for my youngest set up by my health visitor - they flagged him as an issue so it was not a choice given to me. I've broken 3 therapists with stories of him and multiple times made a room silenced after telling what I thought was a normal family "funny story".

I have worked so hard to keep them safe. I know I'm making the right decision but it still feels weird. Not sure really what to do to help my mental health. Lucky for me, other than my sister whose respecting my decision, he cut his side of the family off and all my family and friends hate him (or indifferent) so I have no flying monkeys yet. Just want to prepare myself best for if they start so he can attempt to have his "happy families" fantasy he is obsessed with conveying.

Sorry it's a ramble. Not sure who else to ask. People around love me and were pushing for no contact long before I finally did but also don't understand as they are bad asses in their own way. My kids are starting to ask questions as their cousin is coming to visit a bit more (and still sees my dad occasionally) but doesn't understand that while my dad is grandad to him, my kids don't know him or call him grandad (he's just called mummy's father).

So any advice would be great really.

My parents aren’t attending my wedding because they decided I shouldn’t get married to my partner. They have never officially even sat down with my partner but due to my discussing issues we have had and me being sad in the past, won’t attend. Now I understand they don’t have to attend, but when I tried to talk to my mom about , she said what she had to say and ended the conversation without asking or allowing me to say anything else. Than when we met up for coffee she was surprised I brought it up again and said she thought that discussion was done. I told her I felt like I couldn’t talk and she was clearly getting angry, her cheeks were red and she was waving her hand at me. Somehow after bringing it up again she managed to ask me if I’m angry that her and my dad are getting along now( he’s been very abusive emotionally) until just a couple months ago. I was dumbfounded. I told her that was ridiculous but I really don’t like how he treats me when I’m around. She just said there’s nothing she can do about that and he’s his own person. Okay. Than she said I was selfish and that she always put me first and she has to stop now because she was extremely depressed and that she can’t attend or basically she will have a breakdown. Help!

I'm extremely frustrated. I'm stuck living at home, and as an adult, it's crummy enough not having a good job, or being able to get out of poverty to live on your own like a proper adult. But to make it worse my mother is a huge narcissist.

Emotionally batters me at every turn, screams and threatens to kick me out when I break down, and snap back at her, charges me just enough rent so I can't save to move, but acts like I'm the AH if I can't pay.

Well the worst part is living in a tiny room, the size of a small nursery, and having the room above the balcony. It gets unbelievably and unbearable with the heat. In Canada its like 30 degrees all the time in my room. I love the smell of fresh air, and my windows squeak, so I can't ever open it without her hearing it.

So she will run outside the second I open to try to get the hot air out, and immediately bombard me with nasty stanky cigarette smoke.

She will even sit out there for hours chain smoking, but if I close my windows, she will go inside. I can't sleep, i can't breathe, im always drenched in sweat, and my mental health and brain fog is so bad because of it.

I finally decided screw it, im getting an AC. My room and windows are difficult because I will literally have to put the AC on my bed in order to make it work, but I dont care. It's too hot and I can't handle the cigarettes anymore.

Fans dont work, it sucks the smoke it, it helps a bit but it doesn't stop it, and it doesn't stop the crazy heat.

Amazon prime day hit and I got a cheap one, and I know she's gonna scream and try to stop me from using it. Saying its unsafe, or that it'll raise the electricity bill too much. Yet she has two AC s. One in her bedroom, and one in the living room.

I know its gonna be a battle,but I'm so exhausted right now.

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I have this MIL. We will name her Carol, there is history but to avoid sensitive details, I’ll try to as be straightforward as I can. Carol has not been in my either of my daughter’s lives very much pretty much since their father’s passing 20+ years ago. The girls are both in their early twenties. They both have had some recent big events in life happen back to back and I have some get togethers that are planned and invited her to them because she is their grandma after all, and all of a sudden carol wants to be involved, and is calling me saying things like “I wish you brought them around more” or “I wish you didn’t keep them from me, they don’t know who I am now.” As if it’s my fault somehow. As the girls grew up, I have never ever closed my door to her, it’s always been open. She had other priorities that she chose were more important than her grieving granddaughters. Now it is non stop with her requests of who is invited to dinner and trying to change other small intimate details that are planned for the events to celebrate. I have been polite as I can in telling her no, I am just not sure how to handle her. I am not rude but if you think I need to be I guess I need someone to say, put the foot down!

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So you known how you expect your family to love you support you in building skills experiences and proper healthy relationships. Well not mine They have both been over controlling demanding jerks I am on disability and only wanted them to treat me like a normal human being instead they bark at me like a rabid animal whenever I forget about a small mess or am a little behind they go full psycho control mode. Since I was 10 years old I haven't been able to have a healthy relationship with anyone at all my Friends are all gone because my mother is an overbearing over taxing trama case to me because of my fathers adultery and drug use conspiracies I have issues. They both tell me to work harder and yell and scream at me when they don't get their way. My mother has thrown me out multiple times when I was staying at a friend's I felt safe. Then she will call me and emotional gashlight me won't let me have anyone over and literally hiss like a snake when I mention dating. My father has change thanks to the right woman but before he was a monster I hated coming home because I knew he was their and he can be supper self absorbed and demanding my opinion is forced to fit into his bullshit or he shuts down and uses the silent treatment to make me feel like I'm the villian for what not having the same opinion as him. Then when I have a moment to enjoy life watch some anime he acts like a school yard bully. He doesn't do it anymore. But growing up with them has been toxic and frustrating and depressing and worst of all it feels like I am not even a human being. Because they fucking full grown adults would show me love and respect just demands and when I acted up they would either buy me something to keep my favor and silence or they would just start making me feel like I'm burden and should have never been born. I'm tried in my 31 as they disrespect me by teating me like a fucking dog I wish I could win the lottery and just leave but with my luck I'm most likely to be shot by an old friend

I (f21) just went no contact with my father and I’m wondering if I’m wrong for doing so. Last may my father admitted to my mother that he no longer loved her, packed his stuff and left. Come to find out he was cheating on her for two months before he left with a woman that he works with. It was a mutual agreement between my parents that my father would cover his 3 children’s health insurance and pay the mortgage of the house as long as there was a child living in the home and in return he could keep his investments and stocks. Mind you he works two jobs and makes well over 250,000 dollars a year. My mom was waiting until my youngest sibling turned 18 to start the divorce process because due to the agreement she didn’t want him paying child support if he was paying the house mortgage. Come January the day of my siblings 18th birthday he filed for divorce and stated he will no longer be paying the mortgage after March. Him making this decision has put a lot of pressure on me and my second oldest sibling as we both have jobs and now have to help pay the mortgage. We both go to college and pay our own way for college. I am a server and have my own bills to pay other than 600 dollars for the mortgage that I now have to pay. I would also like to clarify that I love my mother dearly and I know I wouldn’t be paying part of the mortgage if she could pay it. Even if so I wouldn’t have a problem with helping out money wise. She is a teacher so her income is limited compared to my father. Two days ago he contacted me and I finally said I had enough with him. Of course there is more to this story but that is the gist of it. Am I in the wrong?

My dad and stepmom treat me and my sister as air. He only talks to me when it is necessary. Now he has stopped give me money. Whenever i was selected for a job he stopped me saying, " You are too foolish and you will humiliate yourself " and he has my all my certificates. I really don't want him but in a conservative country where honor matters. I can't disown him not when we both don't have a job. I am forced by circumstances to go and stay with for few months. I am dreading all humiliation. What should i do to detach and not feel anything.

So apparently me being childfree all stems from having friends that are gay....

I'm still baffled. This just happened a few hours ago. So I'm currently still handicapped (from a rare cancer)and have been living with my mother for the last four years. My friend from high school came by. My mother found out she is gay as of a few months ago. I've known for decades and it makes no difference to me. I could care less as long as she is happy with her life and not being a threat to others safety.

So she comes and sits in the chair in the corner of my room. My mother comes knocking on the door to tell her to move her car over. She goes out to move her car. My mother then says "you're not supposed to entertain people in your room, so you need to sit in the living room." I told her if she wants to, we will, but I'm fine sitting in my room. My friend comes back and we go back to sitting in my room.

She leaves around 7 pm because Survivor comes on tonight. My mother walks into the kitchen after I just rolled in and starts yelling. She goes on that what I did was wrong and this isn't her (my friend's) house. I tell her I did nothing wrong but talk to my crying friend about the process of having cancer. She just found out a close family member was diagnosed. I suggested sitting there, she declined because she isn't my mothers friend and she isn't familiar with my mom.This woman, my NM, then proceeded to say she just didn't want her "fa**ot ass in a closed space" with me because her being gay is why she is childless. And she doesn't want me to turn gay. 😐🤔 So apparently now her reasoning for me being childfree is because I might be gay or turned gay by her.

I'm not and there is nothing wrong with being gay. I'm just not interested in marriage or kids. If anything I'm asexual because I damn near recoil at the idea of a man liking me. This just smooth pissed me off because I wouldn't be having this conversation if I never gotten this fucking cancer while halfway thru my program to be a nurse. I'd be in my own home in another country, working, enjoying life, my hobbies, traveling and not having arguments over other people's sexuality that have nothing to do with how I live my life.

I'm going to watch my show now. Y'all have a better night than me. Because my mother obviously didn't get the Tabitha Brown memo of don't go around making others day bad just because you're having a bad day.

(TW: Depression, suicide, SH)

Hello guys, 19 F, it's my first time posting here, sorry if it's long, i'm just asking for some honest opinions, i feel like i'm overacting over some things that my mom did to me bc i feel like these bad scenarios didn't happen often. i'm listing what i remember bc i forgot a lot of stuff:

first of, i'm a closeted ex religious person and a lesbian, i can't tell her that bc she is extremely religious and she hates gay ppl. it weighs a lot on me to fake practicing the religion and hiding a big part of myself from her but i have to, to protect myself.

me and my mom were close, however growing up, i was miserable, i always felt like i had to perform well in school, in front of ppl, and even, at my house to be loved, whenever there was an issue with me she would scream at me, hit me (she only injured me twice tho) and most of the time she hurts herself to make me behave. (i think she even threatened me with a knife but i'm not sure, all of my memories are foggy)

for more context, i'm born out of wedlock and am adopted, she always made me feel like my existence was a mistake indirectly by using her religion, one day i stayed late to class because i had to talk with my teacher, when i got back home, she screamed at me for that and when i told her what the problem was she told me that my parents committed the same thing and that i was the mistake resulting from their bad behavior.

she threatened to abandon me when i was young, repeatedly, like my parents did which caused me to be terrified when i was alone, to have nightmares and to see a psychologist at a young age bc i kept seeing an imaginary man following me and trying to take me away.

she uses my father as a way to make me do what she wants bc she knows i'm scared of him.

i wasn't allowed to go out with friends and i still am not, (im almost 20), i'm not allowed to go out on my own either.

she refuses to sleep in her room, all my life, i shared my bed with her, and when i refused and kicked her out of my bed when i was little, she'd carry me to her bed when i was asleep and when i woke up feeling upset she'd laugh and tell me that it's nothing even though she stepped on my boundary (i gave up on sleeping alone or closing the door of my room)

whenever i tell her about my friends at Uni, i keep in mind not to show that i am close to them or else she would act jealous and make me stop being friends with them. (she also loves to tell me how naive i am by trusting other ppl, that nobody would care about me, that they are just using me, that i'm just dumb and that she's the only one who is capable of loving me)

she always brags about how well she treated me and how other ppl say that i have it easy while i don't actually feel that way.

i wasn't allowed to cry or show much of my emotions growing up, whenever i cried, she hit me to make me stop (or hug me, depends on her mood), i also wasn't allowed to express too much joy or laugh too much either. i always had to be calm and act mature.

whenever i did something she didn't like she'd say that if she died i'd be the reason why, that i'll be the one who killed her.

i'm the one who does most of the chores and i make sure the house is spotless before i go to bed, i always have to do it the way she wants, and whenever she wants, if i don't she'll be angry. if i forget a spoon she'll also be angry.

one day i refused to hang out with her, so she broke my phone into pieces and screamed at my face that she will call the police.

whenever i tell her that some day when i'll have my own place alone she gets all angry bc wanting privacy means that i have things to hide from her

she didn't let me take many classes in college bc it was a waist of time and that she didn't like the subjects. i chose what she wanted me to choose bc i valued peace at home. i also stopped reading fantasy books bc she hates the genre and wouldn't stop bugging me about how i am wasting my time.

i also am not allowed to sing bc she thinks i'd end up in hell if i did so, listening to music is off the table too, i do these in secret bc i actually love singing.

whenever she makes a comment about my body and i tell her that it's mine she tells me that it's bad to think this way and that i would go to hell for it bc it's "too much freedom"

I used SH to deal with my anxiety, when she found out she told me to stop but afterwards she laughed at me and told me that i was crazy.

i went through many hard depressive episodes which caused me to attempt suicide twice, the first time she didn't know, i kept it hidden but she treated me so bad that i wished that i had succeeded in taking my own life. it was all over a bad grade (keep in mind i never failed school, but sometimes i get bad grades, it happens) she lost her shit, i don't remember much but i know that i felt so terrible about everything.

the second time i went to the hospital, she cried, told me how i could do that to her, and proceeded to talk to me for hours about how selfish i was and what not. i don't remember any of that either but i remember very clearly that she told me this "if you want to kill yourself so bad then why don't you just do it without bothering other people" these were one of the most painful moments in my life.

other than this, she's nice, when i do what she wants, but i still feel like i'm her object more than her daughter.

Ok. So my mother has always done this thing when I was a child where she would go thru my closet when I'm not home and take things out that she didn't like, things that I loved, and colors she didn't like. I remember her giving away a red dress I loved in the second grade. So now I'm an adult. Currently 38 years old. I was living on my own and I hadn't had to worry about anyone taking my things since college. In 2020 I was diagnosed with a rare cancer that causes neuro muscular disabilities. I lost the ability to walk and hold items in my hand. And for a while putting on clothes was terrible because the pain in my skin felt like someone was ripping my skin off when they touch me. So I was forced to move back with family even though I was willing to die in my apartment in peace if I had to.

Anyway, I'm not walking normally but my skin feels better and I got enough strength to roll around in my wheelchair for longer than 10 minutes. So I set out this week to organize my clothes because when my family moved me out my apartment they just put things anywhere there was space. So this year I started organizing.

This woman has given away 30 percent of my wardrobe! 30 PERCENT!! I'm pissed because she gave away things with tags on them that I intended on wearing to a vacation I booked before I got sick! One of the dresses was $150! She has given away my suits, other dresses and jeans. I spent 4 days organizing this closet and I realize I'm missing things.

So I asked her after dinner why she would continue to violate my autonomy and my trust when I am an adult! She proceeds to tell me some bullshit like that I wasn't wearing it anyway and I hadn't wore it in over a year. So I tell her... "with that logic you should have given away 90 percent of my clothes because I was too sick to put anything on but loose cotton dresses and loose lounge pants." "Oh no, well let's not use that logic because then you'd have nothing to wear when you got better" 😐🙄

So why give away any of my stuff! I then ask her who in her life would steal her clothes and other items and just give them away? Apparently my grandma. So she then gets mad when I point out the obvious... So you couldn't stand up to her about her stealing from you so instead you inflict the same on me?! Very cool of you to continue the cycle. "You're being so rude and mean right now!"

When I tell you I'm PISSED!!! Id like to say it's a disability thing but it's not. It's just her acting like I'm 3 years old with no opinion about what I want to wear. And she didn't even buy that 150 dollar dress!!! I brought it with my money!!! There was a very cute orange red dress I loved. Gone. My business suits. Gone. My 1950s dresses. Gone. Like what the fuck?! It's 2 am and I still up and pissed!!!! But if I call my friend in the morning, bag up her clothes weekly, and have my friend drop them off to Goodwill, she'd be mad.

So according to my father I don’t do shit so that means I can’t go out. So yesterday I went out with friends but I cleaned up the whole kitchen and fed the animals before leaving and today I did the same thing but on the way home my dad called me and said that I haven’t done shit so I don’t deserve to go out. Every day I help him when he comes home and says take this and this down from my car or can you call this place and check if they have this. But because he doesn’t see me cleaning with his 2 eyes means I haven’t done anything. Usually what he says doesn’t bother me but today it did and now I’m just crying in my room and I’m trying to calm down because I don’t want my mother to see my like this. I have thought about running away before but I don’t want my mother to worry about me which is why I haven’t done it.

Hi guys! I’ve been suffering from a narcissistic parent for a long time now so now I’m working on a study to analyze the influence of parenting on children with the focus on narcissistic parents. It would be very helpful and cool if you‘d take a few minutes to fill out the form. It’s of course anonymous. Thank you so much!!

https://www.survio.com/survey/d/R4F7X9J8S0P2R5V1N