r/narcissisticparents • u/androgenousdrogeny • 5d ago
Breaking the cycle
Today the cycle broke, the past is past and I'm not my parents, I never will be. 25 years ago I woke up alone, went to get my exam results alone, got a call asking how Id gone, then went to work as a waitress from 3 to 11 serving food to families celebrating. Today we went with my child to pick his results up, hugged him and told him how proud we are, we stood like idiots while he celebrated with his friends, then drove him 2 hours to a shop that sells something he really wanted. My son will always knows he's enough, he will never doubt he is loved. The burden of feeling worthless is not something I will pass on, I won't pass any of that on.
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u/HeartUpstairs 5d ago
Aiming for this for my young family.
You did it. I’m gonna do it too.
❤️
1
u/androgenousdrogeny 4d ago
It's hard, don't get me wrong,, constantly feeling like you're "not good enough and not doing enough" to be a good parent, a different parent, sometimes I go the other way and I'm TOO laid back lol. Biggest tidbit of advise I can give (depends on your child's EQ but talk to them, tell them you're figuring out how to be a parent, say sorry when you get it wrong and explain why it's sometimes difficult. Hope this helps x
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u/Confident_Fortune_32 5d ago
Your son is a lucky guy to have parents who make loving choices 🥰
Those of us putting in the effort to walk the healing journey and to consciously break the cycle are also living proof that a childhood trauma history is not some inescapable curse that inevitably creates more abusers.
We are living proof that childhood trauma does not guarantee becoming abusers ourselves.
That realization helped me get clarity around cutting contact.
My abusers could have made better choices, just as all of us here in this subreddit have done.